14. Bronwyn

14

brONWYN

He killed him. I kept seeing it in my head, the bald man’s head hitting the shower stall. He killed him.

I’d always known he was a criminal. But all those little moments in the bookstore had made me convince myself, stupidly, that there was warmth in him, hidden away under all that ice.

But no. He really was a monster.

I watched him go, silent tears flooding down my cheeks. I’d hurt before, when he’d walked out on me. But this was much, much worse. I’d been completely wrong about him, I was scared and shaken and there was no one I could go to, no one I could tell. Baba was too ill. Jen and my other friends I couldn’t face: I felt too stupid. Yeah, I knew he was a gangster, but I thought he wasn’t like the others.

You fucking idiot, Bronwyn.

Should I go to the police? That would have consequences. This was the Russian mafia, they could hurt me or hurt Baba to get to me. I knew now what he was capable of.

But the hardest part was...even now, I still couldn’t shake the feeling that he wouldn’t hurt me. A traitorous little part of me wondered, is this why he walked out on me? To keep me away from all this?

Even now, I still wanted to believe in him.