7. Evie

Chapter 7

Evie

We might be married, but Jenner and I were living as roommates in the house we'd purchased together as a couple many years ago. I was sleeping in a guest room, and Jenner kept the master. There hadn't been much discussion about it since I'd moved my stuff in when he was in Minnesota for his teammate's wedding.

He kept busy with training camp and pre-season, gearing up for the official start of the regular season, so most days, I was alone.

Honestly, I welcomed the solitude.

After spending years living in my parents' house, I'd rarely had a moment to myself unless I hid in my bedroom. When Jenner was gone, I had free reign. I could almost pretend it was if I'd never left.

But that illusion came crashing down the minute I heard the automatic garage door opening each day.

Our relationship had been awkward since my return. I didn't know how to act.

Part of me wanted to show my appreciation for his assistance in obtaining an adoption that had eluded me for years by doing simple things, like cooking him meals or cleaning the house. But the other part cautioned that those actions might be seen as overstepping, and I didn't want to push it. I was already disrupting his life enough.

And, of course, Jenner being Jenner, he was ten steps ahead of me, having prepared meals delivered and hiring a housekeeper to keep on top of the household tasks.

There was nothing for me to do, and I was going stir-crazy.

I couldn't very well go out and grab a part-time job when we'd told the agency I was a homemaker. We'd already deceived them enough, and the guilt gnawed at me. With each passing day that we didn't receive a call about a prospective birth mom meeting, I believed it to be the universe's punishment for lying.

Since we were under a microscope and Jenner was a public figure, I knew I'd have to bite the bullet and attend his games, the same as when we'd been a true married couple. If the agency—or a prospective mom—looked into his activities with the team, they would expect to find me in some of the pictures.

Cameras were always on the lookout for spouses and family members in the stands when a player scored. The fans loved that tiny peek into the players' private lives and seeing their support on display. I'd found clips of myself on social media more times than I could count during my first marriage to Jenner. And all too quickly, I'd learned to turn a blind eye to the comments. People were very brave when granted anonymity behind a computer screen, and I didn't need anyone to make me feel bad about myself.

Jenner and I discussed that I would attend as many home games as I was able in order to be seen. We'd never made a public announcement about our divorce, so fans didn't know the reason for my years-long absence, but it was well-known within the tight-knit hockey community. In my mind, that was the only wild card remaining as I pushed forward in my quest to adopt. One leak from inside, and this house of cards we'd built could come tumbling down. I was banking on the fact that hockey was a brotherhood—a sisterhood for the significant others—and they would protect us as one of their own.

Tonight was the Speed's home opener, and it would be my first time returning to Speed Arena since the divorce.

Making sure my access passes were uploaded to my phone with a unique code tied to his player profile at the rink, Jenner had left hours before puck drop to warm up for the game with his teammates.

I was itching to peek into the master suite closet, curious to discover whether he'd kept any of my clothing. Everything else in the house was exactly as I'd left it four years ago, but I had my doubts that Jenner would want to come face-to-face with my personal effects day after day. Surely, he had donated everything, or at the very least, boxed them up and placed them in storage.

As much as I wanted to, I still couldn't find it within me to cross that threshold into his private space—what had once been our private space.

Not that much of the clothing left behind would fit me anymore—having trimmed down from a size twenty-eight to a size twenty-two—but the red and black Speed jersey brandishing his last name and number would still work. People elected to wear them oversized all the time.

It was just as well. Most significant others didn't wear jerseys to the games. I wouldn't look out of place throwing on a pair of faux leather leggings and a shimmery red tank top paired with a jacket.

Hopping into my mid-size SUV, I drove the path I knew by heart. For the four years we'd lived in the suburbs before I left, I'd made the trip into downtown Indianapolis to Speed Arena multiple times a week. It was practically our second home.

Nerves blossomed in the pit of my stomach as I drew closer to my destination. Traffic was already thick, a combination of rush-hour and fans headed into the city to cheer on the team they loved. People clad in Speed-branded merchandise milled the sidewalks, excitement shining on their faces.

Turning down a side street, I pulled up to the familiar security checkpoint at the entrance to the parking structure attached to the arena. Grabbing my phone, I swiped across the screen to pull up the code that would grant me access to park there.

There was a security guard manning the gate, and he did a double-take when he saw me pull up. "Mrs. Knight? Is that you?"

Jerry had worked at Speed Arena for decades and knew everyone who worked within its walls and their significant others. He was a testament to the entire organization being a giant family from top to bottom.

Giving him a warm smile, I chided playfully, "Jerry, how many times do I have to tell you? It's just Evie."

He chuckled. "Well, I'll be! We've missed you greatly around these parts."

"It's good to be back," I replied. And I meant it. There were as many good memories as bad ones in this place. It had just been difficult to realize that during my darkest days.

He pressed the button inside the booth to lift the gate, giving me a salute. "Enjoy the game. And don't be a stranger, you hear?"

"Yes, sir." I pulled through the gate and found a parking spot on the floor with direct access to the club level, where the family box was.

I'd decided it was best to go in blind. I didn't want to look up the current roster and worry about which WAGs—short for wives and girlfriends—I would run into and have to explain why I was back. It was going to be challenging enough, and the extra anxiety wasn't worth it.

Those women had been my friends, but because Jenner and I had kept our struggles private, they didn't have the complete picture of why our marriage fell apart. Jenner was well-liked amongst his teammates, and I was sure my sudden disappearance and subsequent divorce filing probably made me look like a cold-hearted bitch. If Maddox's attitude at the courthouse weeks ago were any indication, I wasn't in for a warm reception.

Scanning my phone at the door leading into the arena, I pushed inside when it automatically unlocked. The family box was a few doors down on the right, and I steeled my nerves, forcing myself to turn the handle.

In the hockey world, a lot could change in four years. Guys retired, some were traded, and others decided to move on after their contracts expired—whether for more money or a better fit with another team. Because of this, I was only mildly surprised when I didn't immediately recognize anyone inside the suite.

My heart squeezed, seeing a few little ones running around, most clad in Speed jerseys featuring a nameplate that read: Daddy.

That was one of the hardest parts when Jenner and I had tried and failed to create a family of our own—coming to the rink and seeing the players share special moments and memories with their children. Then there were the countless baby showers we threw as a team for each new arrival. You wouldn't think there would be a lot with a little over twenty rostered players, some of them young and unattached, but with roster adjustments each year, it added up to more little Speed babies than I could bear.

Each time, I grew lonelier, being on the outside looking in.

A toddler crashed into my legs, knocking himself off balance and onto his bum on the floor. Instead of crying, he held his tiny arms up to me, a silent gesture asking for me to pick him up. I didn't know who he belonged to, but my heart wouldn't allow me to leave him hanging.

Scooping up the boy, who couldn't have been more than two, I cuddled his warm body to my chest. "Let's see if we can find your mama, little man."

My new friend placed his cheek against my shoulder, sticking a thumb into his mouth. He was the sweetest thing, trusting me completely, and I had to fight back the wave of emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. I couldn't wait to have these moments with a child of my own.

"Oh, Ollie, there you are!" a feminine voice called from near the spread of food set up.

Turning, I found a brunette with another baby strapped to her chest in a carrier.

She rushed forward, a smile on her face. "Sorry about that. It's so hard to keep up with him now that there are two of them."

"It's not trouble at all. He's super friendly."

The woman chuckled. "That he is. Especially these days, now that my attention is split."

How is it fair she's got two beautiful babies, and I can't even get one?

I tilted my head to peek at the tiny cherub-faced infant tucked against her chest. "Absolutely precious. How old?"

She rocked on her feet, a hand absentmindedly running along the baby's back. "She's almost six weeks. Go figure, born right before training camp, so Asher is gone all the time. If I'd been given a choice, we would have aimed for early summer, but this one wasn't planned."

"Asher Lawson?" The sting at hearing how other women fell pregnant so easily without trying was outweighed by my surprise. "I didn't realize he'd gotten married, let alone had kids."

"Yeah, you know him?" I nodded, and she replied, "We've been married for three years this past summer. Ollie turns two in a few weeks, and this here is Bailey." Pausing for a moment, she laughed and shook her head. "And I'm Tessa. Gosh, I'm losing my mind with the two littles. Didn't realize I hadn't introduced myself."

I waved her off. "No worries, you've certainly got your hands full. I'm Evie Knight."

Tessa's blue eyes bulged. "Knight. As in Jenner?"

Nodding, I couldn't help but wonder what she'd heard about me. "Yeah, I'm his wife."

She breathed out, "Wow," before recovering quickly. "Sorry. Caught me off guard to hear he's married when I've never seen him with a woman in all my time with Asher."

Smiling politely, I explained, "It's a long story."

Tessa caught on quickly that it wasn't something I wanted to share, so instead of pressing further, she elected to speak to Ollie. "Hey, bud. I was just getting you some chicken nuggets. Are you hungry?"

The tiny boy perked up at the mention of food, yelling, "Yeah! Nuggies!"

"Need any help getting him settled?" I offered.

She let out a grateful sigh and replied, "That would be great. Thank you."

There was a child-size table set up in a corner for the smaller kids, and I set Ollie down while Tessa placed a full plate before him. He didn't waste any time tearing into his meal; our brief encounter had already been forgotten.

"If you ever need someone to keep an eye on him or need a break when the team is on the road, feel free to reach out. I'm home during the day and wouldn't mind a playdate with my new friend." I stared longingly at the little boy at knee level.

For the first time, I noticed the exhaustion etched on Tessa's face as she sagged against the wall. "That would be amazing. We don't have any family close by, and I'm learning quickly how difficult managing the two of them alone will be this season."

Tessa appeared younger than I was now—maybe mid-twenties—but I could still remember those early years when I'd struggled with moving to a new place and didn't know anyone, while Jenner had an instant camaraderie with his teammates. There were many days when I questioned whether I'd made the right choice in following him to Indy.

"Even if you need to get out of the house for coffee, to have someone to talk to while Ollie plays at a park. I know how maddening it can be to be inside your head all day long."

"Wow. I'm so glad you had a run-in with Ollie. Can I have Asher get your number from Jenner?"

"Of course." The countdown clock on the TV feed inside the suite told me the game would be starting soon, so I wrapped up our conversation. "Call or text anytime. It was nice to meet you, Tessa. I'm gonna grab something to eat and then take a seat, but we'll talk soon."

"Thanks, Evie."

She turned her attention back to her son, and I felt mildly better, having made a new friend within the team, especially one with young children. If everything went according to plan, my potential future child could be their playmate. That was, if Jenner continued to insist on raising this child with me.

I couldn't stop a sigh from slipping past my lips. I didn't know how any of this was going to work out. Setting the legalities of our second marriage aside, we were in a platonic relationship, even if there was a familiarity between us. How long would he be willing to co-parent under the same roof with me before he grew tired of it—grew tired of pretending with me?

My past and present colliding became too much to reconcile, and I couldn't breathe. A dark cloud was hanging over my head, waiting for the perfect moment to unleash a storm and drown me. I knew one thing for sure: I needed to get out of here before I had a total meltdown.

Halfway to the door to the suite, a nasally voice I'd come to hate sneered, "Well, look what the cat dragged in."

Lord have mercy. I do not have the energy for this today.

Knowing that escape was impossible now that I'd been recognized, I spun around to find Juliana, Saint Booker's girl, staring at me with a malicious gleam in her eyes. Of all the people to still be hanging around all these years later, of course, it would have to be her.

Juliana had always been a troublemaker—a queen bee wannabe. She craved being the one the other ladies sucked up to, but my presence stood in the way of her achieving that goal. With Maddox being single as the Speed's captain, I'd helped organize a lot of the WAG events since Jenner was an alternate captain. And as a result, I became the enemy in Juliana's eyes.

I couldn't have cared less about planning parties and organizing gifts for the girls getting married or having babies, but I knew if I handed over that responsibility to her, she would have gone on a power trip and torn our peaceful group apart.

As she stalked closer, it felt as if Juliana was sizing me up, searching for a weakness to exploit. Eventually, an evil smirk curved on her lips, plumped up with too much filler. "I'm honestly surprised it took you this long to come crawling back." She made a disgusted noise at the back of her throat. "If I were you, I would've stayed gone. Jenner's better off without you."

I'd dealt with my fair share of mean girls over the years—what chubby girl hadn't?—but the one thing I was proud of was that I'd never let them take me down. And that wasn't about to change today.

Since news of unexpected wives seemed to be the theme of my time in the suite so far, I decided to see if I could use it to fuel my counterstrike. I wasn't at all surprised to find her left hand bare. Saint was as vicious as Juliana, but it would seem he had enough sense not to tie himself to a viper.

Plastering a smile on my face, I made sure my voice took on a sugary sweet quality as I said, "Bless your heart for sticking by Saint all these years. Remind me. How long have the two of you been married?"

Understanding dawned that I was making a dig at her martial status—or lack thereof—and she turned bright red. "At least I'm not a fat bit—"

"If you don't want to become the villain in my next novel, I'd suggest you show some respect to our captain's wife." A young woman with dark curly hair stepped between us.

Juliana narrowed her eyes, but I was still reeling from the information bomb this new woman had unknowingly dropped on me.

Jenner was the Speed's captain? Since when? And why hadn't he told me?

Probably because you've been self-absorbed since your return.

The dark-haired woman linked her arm with mine. "If you'll excuse us, the game is about to start. Some of us are actually here to support our men instead of stuffing our faces with the free food."

Dayum. Mic drop for the new girl.

As soon as we were out of earshot, I leaned in to say, "Whoever you are, you might just be my new best friend."

Light laughter flew past her lips as she led me to the high-top counter overlooking the ice, which was being cleaned by an ice resurfacer before puck drop.

As we climbed onto side-by-side barstools, she finally introduced herself. "I'm Dakota Slate, Braxton's wife."

That name tickled something at the back of my brain. "Slate. That sounds awfully familiar."

Nodding, Dakota flashed me with a brilliant smile. "You're probably thinking of Jaxon, my brother-in-law. He's the captain of the Comets."

"Oh, that's right. He's been in the league for about as long as Jenner has."

"And he's showing no signs of slowing down. Most guys his age are starting to think about retirement, but not Jaxon. And why would he when he's still playing at such a high level? It's almost a race to see which Slate brother will be the next one to bring the championship trophy back home to Minnesota."

The realization of how long Jenner had been playing professionally hit me, and I spun around to view the other women gathered in the suite. Besides Juliana, I didn't recognize a single one of them, but they had one thing in common—they were all younger than me.

"Jeez. When did I become the oldest woman in the room?"

Dakota eyed me, likely trying to gauge my age. "Oh, come on, you're not that old."

"I didn't use to think so," I breathed out. "But I remember there being more veteran ladies the last time I was here."

"Yeah. The Speed have moved in a younger direction these past few years. From what I hear, it's what they hope will give them an edge over some of the teams with aging cores. They came really close a few years ago, the year Maddox went down. Lost in six games in the Finals."

I gawked at her. "Seriously?"

Her lips twisted as she nodded. "Was a total heartbreaker to come so close but not be able to seal the deal."

God, I'd missed so much in four years away.

"And Jenner is the captain now?" I still couldn't believe I'd heard her correctly earlier.

"Yup. It was quite the shift. Maddox to coach and Jenner to captain. And they're still as close as ever."

I muttered dryly, "Yeah, I kinda gathered that."

"Oh!" Dakota exclaimed so suddenly that I jumped in my seat, placing a hand over my racing heart. "I forgot to congratulate you on the wedding."

My head whipped around to see if anyone else was listening in, but the other ladies seemed busy with their own interactions. Turning back to Dakota, I lowered my voice, "Um, thanks. It was kinda quiet. Sorry if anyone's feelings are hurt about not being invited."

"Don't worry." She nudged my shoulder with her own. "I got the play-by-play later that night from Bristol. For a girl who accused me of being love drunk a year ago, she sure was swooning over you and Jenner reconnecting."

Okay, so that answered the question as to whether some of Jenner's teammates knew about our history.

Dakota continued, "She mentioned you might show up tonight, so I was on the lookout. Sorry I didn't get to you before Juliana did. She's such a pain."

"Glad to see not everything has changed," I teased. "But what was that bit about a villain in a book?"

Her cheeks pinkened. "Oh, that. Um . . ." There was a moment where she bit her lip, eyes shifting around the suite. "I'm an author."

I kept my voice low, asking, "Is it like a secret or something?"

"Not exactly. Just a little delicate."

"Delicate how?"

She tossed back whatever mixed drink sat before her on the counter and cleared her throat. "I write romance. Honestly, I'm surprised Bristol didn't mention it. She's my number one fan."

Now that she'd mentioned her, I realized my visual scan of the suite had come up empty for the perky redhead. "Where is Bristol? I figured she might be up here tonight, seeing as she's engaged to Maddox."

Dakota smirked. "Oh, she's in the press box."

"The press box?" Jeez, I couldn't keep up with this girl.

A snicker flew past her lips. "She reports on the team."

My jaw dropped. "Maddox is marrying a reporter ?" That man hated the press.

"Yup." She popped the P. "And boy, what a doozy that story is."

"Guess I've missed a lot since I've been gone."

"Eh." Dakota shrugged. "You're back now, so there's plenty of time to catch up."

Yeah, but for how long?

The lights in the arena dimmed, and the pre-game hype video played on the big screen over center ice.

It was surreal to be back. Some things remained the same, while so many others had changed.

I might be seemingly slipping back into the role I'd held before, but I wasn't sure where I fit anymore—not just in my own life but in Jenner's.