6. Evie

Chapter 6

Evie

Desperation made people do crazy things. Like finding themselves standing outside a courthouse in an ivory dress, with the intention of marrying their ex-husband for a second time.

All because I was so close to achieving my dream of motherhood that I could taste it.

If legally tying myself to Jenner was how I reached the finish line after years of disappointment and heartbreak, then so be it. He'd been a good husband to me in the past—the best, actually.

Why is this a hardship again?

Oh, right. Because we'd drifted apart—correction: I'd run away—and we had both moved on.

Or had we?

I could admit I'd been stuck in a holding pattern for years since leaving Indy. The only thing I accomplished in all that time was dropping fifty pounds. And it wasn't like I'd done so by actively choosing to eat healthy and exercise. No, I'd feasted on a steady diet of tears and regret for months after arriving back in Rust Canyon when the realization hit that I had thrown away the best thing in my life.

Yeah, I could admit that Jenner still held my heart, which was why this whole idea of getting married was dangerous.

What if we went through all of this, had a mom pick us, and then he decided fatherhood wasn't for him after all? It wasn't the same as having a baby the "normal" way with your partner. There was no biological tie, nothing to bind them together. There would be nothing to keep him from washing his hands of the whole mess. He'd never asked for this.

Yes, he did. He offered adoption as an option years ago.

I shook off that thought. Neither of us were the same people we'd been back then.

Hell, I had no clue what he'd been up to all these years. Had he dated? Ever thought of settling back down? I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer to those questions. Honestly, it didn't matter. We were minutes away from tying the knot. He would be mine again, even if in name only.

After accepting his deal—agreeing to move in, get married, and let him act as a father to a child we would hopefully adopt—I laid out a condition of my own. I wanted to ensure our profile was added to the agency's catalog before we doubled down on our legitimacy as a couple.

That bought me a few weeks—weeks during which I thought Jenner would come to his senses and call the whole thing off, sending me packing back to Oklahoma.

While I sat in limbo, waiting for something to go wrong—for the agency to uncover that I'd stretched the truth and deceived them about my relationship status—Jenner dove headfirst into training camp.

Which was why I was meeting him at the courthouse on a Friday afternoon instead of us arriving together.

Last night, we received a call that our profile had gone live, and a birth mom might request to meet us at any time. We were given an access code to the back office of the agency's website, which granted us the ability to see our page. We could double-check the information or request to attach any additional items—photos, testimonials from friends and family, or anything else we wanted to share.

With the Speed heading out on Sunday evening for a pre-season game in Chicago, Jenner pointed out that if we didn't get married immediately, it would be almost a week before we had another opportunity. And in Indiana, there was no waiting period when applying for a marriage license, so we could obtain the license and get married at the same time.

Speed Arena—where training camp was being held—was only a few blocks from the courthouse in downtown Indianapolis, so we'd agreed to meet after he was done with practice and meetings for the day.

Closing my eyes, I took a cleansing breath before releasing it and making my way up the steps of the imposing building that could easily pass for a skyscraper—at least by Midwest standards.

Pushing through the revolving glass doors, I found myself at a security checkpoint. Placing my purse on the conveyor belt for the X-ray machine, I stepped through the metal detector. I didn't know why, but I held my breath every time I passed through one. I knew I had nothing on me to set it off, but I still got nervous about hearing the alarm.

Once I gathered up my belongings, the security guard on the other side of the checkpoint asked my destination, and I explained I was there to obtain a marriage license. He took one look at the off-white color of my dress and smiled, offering his congratulations. Heat rose up my cheeks, and I ducked my head, thanking him before taking off in the direction of the elevator.

Thankfully, no one else was waiting when the brushed nickel doors slid open, and I stepped inside the lift. Pressing the button for the 12 th floor, I leaned against the wall, clutching the handrail near my hips.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

A soft ding sounded, signaling I'd reached my destination, and when the doors opened, I stopped breathing. Standing there, in a suit, with a bouquet of magnolias—my favorite—clutched in his hand, was Jenner.

My hand flew to my mouth as my lower lip trembled and tears burned behind my eyes.

Jenner stepped forward, placing his hand against the elevator's sliding doors to keep them from closing while I remained frozen, unable to move.

His smile was soft, expression tender, as he said, "God, Evie. You look stunning. I'm the luckiest man in the world."

Christ Almighty, this man is going to be my undoing.

He extended his free hand toward me, and for a moment, I stared at it. If I laced my fingers with his, there would be no turning back. Within the hour, we would be married, bound together as partners in life, perhaps someday in parenthood. Coming back to Indy had been a gamble, but I hadn't realized I would be risking my heart.

Uncertainty filtered into Jenner's coffee-brown eyes. "Evie," he breathed out. "If this isn't what you want, we can turn around and go home."

Home.

That word had me jolting back to reality. If we didn't do this, I would be headed back to Oklahoma alone and childless. That wasn't an option—not when I was this close.

Steeling my resolve, I slipped my hand into his, holding on for dear life. "I'm fine. Let's get married."

For a second, we stood there as his eyes searched mine. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I nodded, even as my knees knocked together. "I got all dolled up, might as well make it worth it."

"Okay. Good. I had the clerk draw up the paperwork for the license but couldn't finalize it until you showed up with your ID." A mischievous smile crept onto his lips. "I think, for a while there, she thought I was being stood up. And she didn't seem too torn up about it."

I brushed my hand over his lapel. "Can't say that I blame her. You clean up real good."

That roguish grin lit up his face, the same one I fell in love with when we were teenagers. "Shall we?" Jenner tilted his head in the direction of the clerk's office. Realizing his hands were full, he startled, "Oh!" He offered me the bouquet of magnolias. "These are for you."

"Thank you." I accepted them gratefully, bringing them to my nose as we walked down the hall and into the tiny office where our new marriage license awaited.

Jenner held open the door for me, and I stepped through, only to come to a halt when I saw two people waiting for us inside—one I would have recognized anywhere and another I'd never seen before in my life.

A cute redhead in a pencil skirt and blouse caught sight of us, and her big blue eyes widened as she bounced on her heels. "Oh, Jenner. Is this her?"

She had that tone of youthful optimism that betrayed her to be younger than I'd initially thought. If I had to guess, I'd place her as fresh out of college.

The tall man, standing by her side, eyed me cautiously.

"Evie." The disapproval in his voice was a stark contrast to the excitement of the woman beside him.

"It's been a long time, Maddox."

He grunted in response, and the redhead elbowed him in the side. "Don't be rude," she hissed.

Jenner squeezed my hand. "Evie, let me introduce you to Maddox's fiancée, Bristol Cooper."

Bristol squealed, running faster than a woman had any right to in heels and barreling into me, wrapping her arms around me for a hug. Jenner stepped aside to let her have her moment. She was warmth, whereas Maddox was ice. I couldn't tell if that was their typical dynamic or if Maddox still held a grudge over how I'd left his best friend. My guess was the latter.

My gaze locked with Maddox's, who was standing across the room watching us. I mouthed, She's young , to which he merely rolled his eyes. He was several years older than Jenner's thirty-two, so there was easily a ten-year age gap between him and the girl squeezing me tighter than a boa constrictor.

Jenner teased from beside us. "Do we need to change the names on the license? I have to warn you, Bristol, Evie does have a thing for redheads."

Watery laughter sounded from Bristol as she released me, blue eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

Who was this girl, and why was she emotional over a marriage that might be legal but certainly wasn't real in any of the ways that mattered?

"Sorry." She dabbed at the corner of her eye. "I'm just so happy for you two. Jenner's one of the good ones, you know?" Oh, I sure do. If he weren't, he wouldn't be helping me. "And to see the two of you reconnecting? Really speaks to true love conquering all."

I turned to Jenner with a raised eyebrow.

Even if I'd never stopped loving him, I wasn't sure he could ever forgive me for what I'd put him through. I wasn't the same girl he met all those years ago. Circumstances outside of my control had changed me and made me jaded about love and life. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, you were forced to weather storms so strong they knocked you off your feet, and you weren't sure if you would survive.

I couldn't blame Bristol, though. She was in those early days of a relationship with Maddox if they were freshly engaged. If I tried hard enough, I could remember what that was like when rose-colored glasses tinted everything you saw. The world was full of possibilities, and you wanted everyone to be as happy as you were, surrounded by the glow of newfound love.

Bristol walked back over to Maddox and tucked herself into his side. He gazed down at her adoringly, tightening his hold around her waist. When he peeked back at me, his green eyes narrowed, and the temperature in the room dropped by ten degrees.

Yep, he's still pissed at me.

"Ready?" Jenner asked by my side.

"Yeah, let's get hitched," I said with more conviction than I felt.

He chuckled. "There's my country girl."

I let him lead me to the clerk sitting behind a desk. Handing him the flowers, I dug inside my purse for my driver's license and handed it over. The middle-aged woman peeked at the photo on the laminated card before raising her gaze to scan my face, ensuring I was the person I claimed to be. Her lips pursed as she surveyed us as a couple, her eyes shifting to Jenner's with an expression almost as if to say, Seriously, this girl?

I was used to the pair of us being a mismatch in terms of size, but it had never bothered me—I was comfortable with who I was and how I looked. Jenner had always been the first to defend me any time someone made a snarky comment about the "fat" girl being married to the ripped athlete. He'd gone on record more than once, stating that he loved my body and that people should worry more about their own lives instead of concerning themselves with ours.

When she hummed in disapproval, Jenner's hand tightened on mine. I squeezed back, a silent gesture telling him to let it go—it wasn't worth it.

The clerk finalized the paperwork on our marriage license and instructed us to the courtroom two doors down the hall on the right. We thanked her—well, I did; Jenner's jaw was clenched too tight to get words past it—and left the small office.

Bristol's heels clicked in a quick tempo over the polished marble floors of the hallway. Stepping up beside me, she whispered, "What a bitch, am I right?" That got a small laugh out of me, and Bristol bumped me with her shoulder. "She's just jealous."

I wasn't about to point out to this young woman that there wasn't much to be jealous of. In my thirty-one years, I hadn't accomplished much. People only saw what they wanted to see. My crowning achievement could be seen as marrying a handsome hockey player, but they had no idea what happened behind closed doors, the struggles we'd faced, both individually and as a couple. Money and love weren't always enough to guarantee a picture-perfect life.

Maddox stepped past Bristol, holding open the door to the courtroom so the rest of us could enter. Jenner handed over the license to the attendant, and we took our seats on a long bench as there were a few couples in line before us.

"You okay?" Jenner whispered in my ear.

I swallowed. "I'm fine."

"I'm sorry about that back there."

Shrugging, I kept my eyes on the couple currently saying their vows as I replied, "I'm used to it."

Jenner sighed. "You shouldn't have to be ‘used to it'."

"Can't change the world, Jenner. I don't fit in their perfect little boxes. It's nothing new."

His thumb stroked over my knuckles where our hands were still clasped, resting on his thigh. "You've always been beautiful to me, Evie, both inside and out."

I couldn't manage more than a nod, or I was going to start sobbing. Why was he being so nice to me after all I put him through? It didn't make any sense.

"Knight party?" the judge called out, and we stood on command, making our way down to the front of the courtroom.

Bristol stood by my side while Maddox stood by Jenner's. They were there to act as witnesses, but it was clear they fell into the traditional roles of best man and maid of honor. I suppose it was life coming full circle, as Maddox had been the best man at our first wedding ten years ago.

The judge began reciting the words of the ceremony from memory, likely having performed it dozens of times a day. His monotone voice had me zoning out, and my mind wandered to the last time Jenner and I had said "I do."

"Oh my gosh, Evie, you look so pretty!" Bex Crawford gushed when I stepped out from behind the partition in the back room of the barn that served as a bridal suite.

Mama had just done up the buttons at the back of my wedding dress, and this was my big reveal to my bridesmaids. Since I was living in Indy with Jenner and had purchased the dress in a boutique up there, this was their first time seeing me in it.

Pictures on a model didn't do it justice.

The ivory, off-shoulder, A-line dress featured a sweetheart neckline. There was a sheer lace overlay along the fitted bodice with visible boning before it flared out into flowy chiffon from my hips to my feet, which were sporting a pair of brand new, brown leather, embroidered cowgirl boots.

You couldn't get married in the country, on a farm, without paying homage to your roots. I might live in the city now, but would always be a country girl at heart.

Bex let out a wistful sigh. "Jenner is gonna keel over when he sees you."

At only sixteen, she was the youngest of my bridesmaids. When we'd needed a partner for my younger brother, Tucker, it only made sense to invite his high school sweetheart to fill that role. He was headed off to college in the fall, and they would be attempting the long-distance relationship thing, but I had a feeling it would work out. Tucker adored her. Hell, he'd even considered staying closer to home for school so he didn't have to be a thousand miles away on the East Coast. But it spoke to how much Bex cared about him that she insisted he go, that if he wanted to become a doctor, he couldn't throw away an opportunity to attend one of the best programs in the country.

I would lay good odds that their wedding wouldn't be too far off. If I knew my brother, he was only biding his time until she turned eighteen.

Folks around these parts thought nothing of a teenage bride. It was rarer to see our young people leave town to attend college.

"I would have to agree," a male voice spoke from behind. "Jenner's likely to pass out before you reach him at the altar. Good thing I'll be there to hold him up. I am older and stronger. In case anyone was keeping count."

Spinning around, I found a mischievous grin on Maddox Sterling's face. He was Jenner's best friend on the Indianapolis Speed and also served as their captain. Today, he would stand beside him as his best man.

"Oh no, I'm feeling faint myself," my best friend from college, Natasha, said in a breathy voice.

Maddox stepped forward with a predatory smirk, gripping her elbow and making a show of keeping her upright.

Yeah, if that girl had it her way, she'd be horizontal before the night was over.

Natasha was there the day I met Jenner and had been vocal for years about what a lucky bitch I was that he'd singled me out of the thousands of girls on campus. But one look at Maddox last night during the rehearsal dinner, and she set her sights on his tall, muscular form.

"Don't worry, Tash. I'll take care of you tonight." Maddox's voice was husky, and there was no mistaking the double meaning in his words. They were totally gonna fuck tonight.

Her eyes met mine, and she pretended to fan herself, mouthing, Oh my God. He's so hot.

Maddox was a gorgeous specimen, I could hand him that, but he was pretty much a man whore, sleeping his way across the country, living up to the stereotype that athletes were players both on and off the ice.

I mean, he was the perfect guy to give Natasha the night of her life, but he wasn't the type to settle down.

Unable to keep a smile from my face, I asked, "Is there a reason for the cock in the henhouse, Maddox?"

Mama tsked at the vulgar phrase but knew to leave well enough alone.

Releasing his grasp on Natasha, Maddox reached into the breast pocket of his tan suit, pulling out a large velvet box. "Actually, I was tasked with making sure this was delivered to the bride."

He stepped closer, offering me the box. There was only one thing that came in a box like that, and I knew before opening it that Jenner had gone overboard.

We'd decided that while he was on his entry-level contract, we wouldn't get carried away, electing to live modestly. He was making good money, even if it was the league minimum, but we knew his career wasn't guaranteed, so we were saving as much as we could, just in case. We were optimistic but also aware that every guy on the ice was only one bad injury away from being done playing forever.

Maddox placed the box in my hands, bent down to kiss my cheek, and whispered, "You make him really happy."

Blinking rapidly to fight back tears that were sure to ruin my makeup, I nodded, hoping he knew that I felt the same way.

"I'll leave you ladies to it. See you at the end of the aisle."

The door latched shut, and I ran my fingertips over the soft velvet. My index finger caught on the corner of something sharp on the underside, and that's when I realized there was a note.

Pulling it from the box, I slipped a piece of cardstock from inside the envelope.

Evie, my love,

You light up my life, so it's only fitting that you wear something on our wedding day that shines as brightly as you do. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

Yours, Jenner

I unlatched the box with shaking hands to reveal a stunning diamond necklace. It was nearly blinding with the way it reflected the overhead lights of the room.

My bridesmaids rushed forward, all of them swooning over Jenner's words and the beautiful piece of jewelry.

"Damn, that Jenner," Natasha teased. "Making all the other men look bad."

Swallowing thickly, I asked her, "Help me put it on?"

She squeezed my shoulder before plucking the necklace from its resting place inside the box. Natasha nudged me to step before a standing mirror, mindful of the photographer in the room and making sure this moment was captured. Reaching across my throat, she threaded the chain, clasping it behind my neck.

My fingers grazed the sparkling gems where they rested right above my full breasts, pushed higher by the corset top of my dress.

"Wow," I breathed out.

"I've been instructed to fetch the bride," my dad's voice boomed in the small space.

When I turned to face him, his blue eyes grew glassy as he took me in. Placing a hand over his heart, he said thickly, "My little girl's all grown up. You look beautiful, darlin'."

"Thanks, Daddy." I crossed the room to hug him tight.

He cleared his throat a few times, likely trying to keep his emotions in check. When he pulled back, he asked, "You ready? Your forever is waiting for you."

My heart raced, but I managed a nod, looping my arm through his offered elbow. Mama and the girls all filtered out ahead of us.

Taking a deep breath, I let my father lead me from the bridal suite toward the double doors to the barn. The interior was set up for the reception after the ceremony, but outside, there were chairs set up on opposite sides of the aisle, where at the end rested a wood arbor covered in magnolias.

Jenner stood with his hands clasped at his waist, looking as handsome as ever in his tan suit, even as he fidgeted, awaiting my arrival. His auburn hair was styled, swept away from his face, the golden hour casting the strands in a fiery glow. I had the perfect view of his sharp, clean-shaven jawline.

The moment was surreal. I was about to marry this gorgeous man who treated me like a queen. Any second, I expected to wake up from this beautiful dream.

The string quartet struck up a beautiful melody, signaling the bride's arrival. The guests stood, turning to get a peek as I began my journey down the aisle.

They might all be looking at me, but I only had eyes for Jenner. As I drew closer to where he stood, the world faded away, narrowing down to just the two of us.

Tears flowed freely down his face, and he didn't move to wipe them away. He was comfortable wearing his heart on his sleeve.

When I got close enough, he stepped forward, pulling me into his arms and dipping me back for a kiss. There were hoots and hollers from our guests as he claimed my mouth, unwilling to wait for that part of the ceremony.

My dad chuckled from where he stood beside us, joking, "Save something for the honeymoon."

That got another cheer from the crowd.

Jenner pulled away, his thumb brushing against the curve of my jaw. "Sorry, I couldn't wait. You are my dream come true, Evie."

I bit down on my kiss-swollen lower lip, knowing I would burst into tears myself if I spoke.

Straightening, Jenner kept one arm around my waist, offering his free hand to shake my father's. "Thank you, sir, for raising an incredible daughter and for granting me the honor of taking over in caring for her for the rest of her life."

Daddy shook hands with Jenner, smiling at the two of us warmly. "Take care of each other. That's the secret to a lasting marriage."

"Evie?" A familiar voice pulled me from the memory of a time when I'd been so happy and in love I could've burst.

"Huh?" I shook my head slightly to regain my bearings.

"It's your turn to take your vows. We're waiting on you."

"Oh!" My eyes widened as I scanned those gathered, all staring at me expectantly.

The judge eyed me with concern. "Is everything all right, Ms. Grant? Are you here of your own free will?"

Nodding, I rushed out, "Of course. My apologies."

Jenner squeezed my hand. My daddy had been right all those years ago, and I wished I would have listened.

During our struggles to conceive, I'd shut down, and Jenner was left in a one-sided marriage, always caring for me and getting nothing in return—unless you counted me walking out on him when I couldn't see past my pain to view the bigger picture.

The judge sighed, clearly sensing something was off. It probably didn't help that a hulking, scowling best man stood beside the groom.

"Do you, Evangeline Grant, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," I replied.

I couldn't help but think God would strike me down for agreeing to these same vows, knowing I hadn't upheld them the first time. I was a gigantic hypocrite.

We were instructed to exchange rings—the same rings we'd exchanged during our first wedding; I still couldn't believe he'd kept them—and then the judge said, "By the authority vested in me by the State of Indiana, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Since I'd already made the judge suspicious by zoning out mid-ceremony, I wasn't about to give him any additional reason to question my consent in marrying Jenner. Handing my flowers to Bristol beside me, I threaded my fingers through my husband's short hair and pulled his mouth down to mine.

For a moment, Jenner stood there frozen, our lips pressed together, but then the softest rumble echoed from his chest. His mouth opened, his tongue teasing the seam of my lips, and I let him inside. God help me, my knees threatened to buckle as he kissed me as if no time had passed, like we hadn't spent years apart—like I'd never stopped being his.

The sound of a throat clearing had us breaking apart. Flushed, I peeked around Jenner to find Maddox staring me down with a scowl.

I knew what he was thinking—that I was going to hurt his best friend again. But what he didn't realize was that coming back here and tying my life to Jenner's again had the potential to shatter me completely.

I wouldn't survive if, at some point, he did wise up and cast me aside.