33. Charlie

CHAPTER 33

Charlie

G etting out of bed that next morning was hard work. Not because Nix had his bare ass jammed up against my cock and I wanted to fuck him so bad I could hardly stand it. But because I knew that the moment I got up, I'd have to leave the house and be social. And that was something I hadn't done in years. Sure, Nix's mother had cornered me now and then while I was out walking, but that had only happened maybe a dozen times in six years. I hadn't even spoken to Ted. However, this morning I would have to have a real conversation with them for the first time since the accident and I wasn't looking forward to it.

But I knew, no matter how long I tried to pretend to be asleep, eventually Nix's alarm would go off and we'd have to get up. My only comforting thought was that he would be at my side. His parents were good and kind people, I knew that. But six years meant there would be a lot of questions. And I wasn't sure I was ready to answer them just yet.

The moment the alarm went off, I thought of trying to coax Nix into staying in bed and just having sex with me instead of breakfast. That sounded a lot less anxiety inducing. However, I couldn't bring myself to say it. So, with a sigh and a groan, we both got in the shower, rinsing off the previous night's stickiness before heading down the street to his house.

As soon as we were on the sidewalk, everything seemed too bright and too loud again. I could feel the anxiety bubbling away in my chest like I had a sour stomach. It definitely didn't put me in the mood for eating. Of course, the moment I tried to distract myself, I remembered that Patrick and Tyler were coming over later for a game night and that only made things worse. I really wished Nix hadn't invited them over without talking to me first. But considering he was going home tomorrow, it was our last chance to do such a thing for a little while.

I'd been putting off meeting Tyler for too long, anyway. After all the patience Patrick had shown me, I figured it was time to repay the favor. Even if it made me want to curl up into the fetal position and rock in a dark corner. But I'd survive, right? How bad could a game night really be? I was probably just overreacting as usual. Up until three months ago, I'd spent most of my adult life holed up in a dark room. It was time to move on.

"We're here," Nix called out, pushing the front door open before we stepped inside. He put his nose to the air, inhaling deeply. "It smells good!"

He was right. It did smell good. But I was far too concerned with the sound of footsteps quickly approaching to give my stomach much thought.

"I was wondering when you two were gonna show up," Nix's mom said as she came around the corner. She pulled him into a quick hug before glancing at me. "Oh, just leave your shoes on honey. I don't mop the floor nearly enough to worry about that."

"She mopped it twenty minutes ago," Ted added, stepping up behind her. "Don't let her fool ya." He held out his hand to me. "It's good to see you again, Charlie."

I took his hand, hoping the act of shaking it would cover up my trembling. "G-Good to see you t-too."

As soon as our hands disconnected, Laura's arms were around my neck, giving me a big hug.

"It's good to see you out and about," she smiled, patting me on the cheek. "A little sun agrees with you." She gave a wry glance at Nix. "And the company doesn't help either I see. I don't think I've seen you smile since the–" She stopped, her eyes going wide as she realized what she was about to say. "Well, nevermind. You look good."

Her smile did nothing to cover up the sadness in her voice. I felt my heart speed up at the near mention of my own mother. Of course, I knew going to see the McKean's would probably bring her up. After all, they'd barely seen me since the accident. Considering they were the ones that took care of the funeral, they were also the last ones to see her above the ground.

"So, has Phoenix got you on that bike of his yet?" Ted asked, clapping me on the shoulder and leading me toward the kitchen. "He's quite a hellion on that thing."

"I… uh… don't want to be on it," I replied, my voice still shaking. I didn't understand why I was so nervous. It was just Ted after all. "I'm still not very comfortable with cars and a motorcycle… Well, it's a lot."

"That's understandable," he nodded. "Maybe when you're feeling up for a thrill, you can get him to take you out. He let me ride it and it's been everything I can do not to go buy myself one."

"You are not getting a motorcycle, Theodore," his wife replied, coming into the room with Nix in tow. "I mean it. "

"She doesn't know I've already been shopping," he whispered, giving me a wink. "I'll probably have one in the next month."

"I hope you boys are hungry," Laura said, slipping on her oven mitts and bringing a large pan of cinnamon rolls to the table. "Phoenix, can you get the milk and the coffee?"

Nix did as he was told, returning to the table to sit next to me. He gave me a knowing smile and placed his hand on my left thigh, the one I'd been bouncing up and down since the moment I took a seat.

"Just breathe," he said softly. "It's okay."

I just nodded, forcing myself to still my leg. My skin felt like it was threatening to crawl right off my body, and I was suddenly feeling very cold and hot at the same time. My fingers were frozen, but my face and neck were on fire. I tried to focus on Nix, letting him be my safe place as Laura doled out a roll to each of us.

"Dig in," she said at last, taking her seat. "And don't be shy if you want another one. I know you've got a sweet tooth, Charlie."

I glanced up at her, shaking my head. "Not really," I replied. "Not anymore."

Something about the way I said it brought the mood down immediately. Everyone looked uncomfortable, like I'd said something deeply depressing.

"S-Sorry," I stammered. "I didn't mean to sound so dire. I just mean that I don't eat a lot of sugar anymore."

"You hardly eat at all," Nix said, giving me a grin. "That's why you're so fit now."

We both knew that wasn't the truth, but I appreciated him trying to lighten the mood, anyway .

"I don't think I've ever seen two boys eat so many marshmallows in my life," Laura smiled. "Diana and I used to joke about taking out stock in–"

Her voice cut off as she clapped her hand over her mouth. Eyes went wide again as she turned pale, looking mortified by saying my mother's name aloud. The sound of it, I'll admit, shocked me. Like a sudden rush of ice through my system, I felt all the skin on my body prickle as a dark sphere of dread filled my belly.

"Mom!" Nix hissed. "Will you pick a different subject, please!"

"I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It just slipped out."

"That's okay, honey," Ted added, patting her shoulder. "Let's just eat breakfast, okay?"

She nodded, still looking horrified by what she'd done. As we all went back to our rolls, the kitchen filled with an oppressive silence. I could practically hear the buzzing of the overhead stove bulb. And somehow, for the first time, the silence was making me more anxious than the words spoken. Hearing my mother's name brought her to the forefront of my mind, something I'd been trying not to do for years. It occurred to me, all at once, that maybe trying to ignore her existence was the reason it was so hard to get over the loss of her. It was something I was sure my therapist had told me a million times. But this time, thinking about it for myself, it finally sank in.

"I… I want to say something," I said, my shaking voice piercing the silence.

"You don't have to," Nix began.

"I want to." I reached out and laced my fingers with his on top of the table. Taking a deep breath to gather my courage, I squeezed his hand. "I want to say thank you. To all of you. And that I'm sorry. "

All three of them stared, confused looks on their faces. Surely they knew how much they'd done for me? They had to.

"While I was in the hospital, you took care of everything," I explained. "You cleaned out the fridge at the house, watched over me, and…" Tears snuck up on me and my vision blurred as they began to fall. "And you took care of her ." I looked at each one of them in turn, unable to hold back the emotions taking over me. "I was so scared and angry when I woke up that I couldn't see all the good you'd done for me. All the good you'd done for… for mom ."

Nix was holding my hand tightly, his eyes locked on mine. Laura was openly weeping and Ted, while comforting her, had a glassy look in his eyes that told me he was barely holding his own tears back.

"We'd do it a hundred times over if that's what you needed, honey," Laura said, sniffling every couple of words. "You and your mom are like family to us. We'd do anything for you."

Ted nodded, adding his own approval and support to her words. I glanced over at Nix, his hand squeezing mine. I knew he'd do anything for me too and despite the melancholy I felt, my heart soared just knowing that he was right there beside me.

"I'm still pretty messed up," I added, feeling like I needed to explain myself. "But I'm getting better. Letting Nix back in really helped with that. It's not going to fix it or make it all magically go away of course, but…" I leaned to the side, resting my head against his shoulder. "It makes me feel less alone. I didn't know how much I needed that until you showed up."

Nix, eyes full of tears as well, looked like he was about to say something profound and loving. But before he could, a man stepped into the kitchen wearing nothing but short-shorts and a pair of fuzzy crocodile shaped slippers .

"What did I miss?" the man slurred, slumping down in the seat next to me.

"Jesus, Tony," Nix sighed, rolling his eyes. "Where are your damn clothes?"

"Mrs. M doesn't mind," he retorted. Then he gave Ted a wink. I wasn't really sure what that was about. "Besides, it's a crime to put on clothes before noon in New Jersey."

"We're in Oregon."

"You say potato, I say artichoke." He reached out, helping himself to a cinnamon roll and the carafe of coffee. "So, what's the topic of conversation this morning?" He glanced up at Laura and her tear-soaked cheeks, then over to Nix. "It looks kinda… wet ."

"None of your damn business." He gestured to me. "Also, this is Charlie by the way. Nice of you to say hello."

"Sorry about that," he grinned, stuffing a large bite of cinnamon roll in his mouth. He held out his hand. "The name's Tony. Nice to meet you, Chuck."

I shook his hand, but didn't cover up my disdain for that nickname. "Nice to meet you too."

It took everything I had to say those words. Not only did I hate the nickname, but I was irritated with this man on principle. He was sitting, practically naked, in my best friend's house. I could very clearly see the soft bulge in his shorts, and he was making no attempt to be modest. There was also the fact that he and Nix had slept together in the past and I was feeling very possessive all of a sudden.

Not only that, he had the fucking audacity to be insanely attractive. That, in my book, was four strikes and I only needed less than three to despise him .

Then he shifted, kicking his leg up on the last empty chair like he owned the place. It seemed disrespectful and rude considering he was a guest.

Five strikes.

"So, Phie," he continued as if the entire world revolved around him. "Are you gonna finally show me the sights today since it's our last day in town? You've been spending so much time having…" He glanced at me. " Fun with Chuck here that I haven't even gotten to see this quaint little town."

"You have legs," Nix shot back, clearly just as irritated as I was with Tony. "Take yourself. Besides, Charlie and I have plans tonight."

"Oh? Where are you boys going?" Laura asked, noticing the tension and attempting to shift the conversation. "Up to the creek again?"

Nix shook his head. "We're having a couple old friends over for a game night at Charlie's place."

Tony smacked the table with the flat of his palm, scaring the daylights out of me. My heart rate shot through the roof instantly.

"I love game nights!" he barked, leaning closer to me. "That sounds amazing! Count me in!"

He gave me a nudge with his elbow, trying to be chummy but succeeding in only gaining his sixth strike for touching me without permission.

"Besides," he added. "I want to get to know Chuck. After all, it's not every day you meet the main love interest of an international bestselling novel."

Nix sighed, burying his face in his hands. Meanwhile I was seething on the inside, all thoughts of anxiety forgotten. Out of everyone in the world, Tony was the last person I wanted at my house. But maybe, if I was very lucky, he'd do something awful, and I would have the excuse to punch him.

It took everything I had to pick up my fork and begin to eat.

Game night had officially become a pulverize Tony in a game of Monopoly opportunity.

It would have to be enough.