19. Phoenix

CHAPTER 19

Phoenix

I 'd been in town for over forty-eight hours, and I was fairly certain my mother hadn't stopped talking. Even when I went to sleep, she was talking up a storm in my dreams. She was always telling me how proud she was of my accomplishments, telling me she always knew I'd make it. Which seemed hilarious considering she was the one that tried to get me to double major in accounting even though I was shit at math. When I was awake, she was grilling me about my life, wanting to know every tiny detail. And, as annoying as it was, I did everything I could to keep a level head. She'd missed me a lot. We'd never been apart this long before.

Still, come nine o'clock my second day home, I was about to tear my damn hair out if she didn't give me a moment's peace. And that's when Ted, my savior, stepped in.

"Hey Phoenix," he said, interrupting my mother's ten-thousandth prying question. "I need some help in the garage with my car. Would you mind giving me a hand?"

"This late?" my mom scoffed. "Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

Ted shook his head. "I'm afraid not. If we wanna go out for a nice dinner tomorrow night in Eugene, we're gonna need to take a look at it."

"I don't understand why you insist on leaving things until the last minute–"

"Sure. I'll help," I said, springing up from the couch. I glanced back at Tony who looked like he wanted to follow. "Keep Mom entertained with your charms, huh?"

"You okay with that, Ted?" he called. "Mind if I woo your wife?"

"Woo away," he replied with a dismissive wave.

Mom made another noise of disbelief but dove right into talking to Tony. She loved talking to Tony. And he loved undoing a couple buttons on his shirt to keep her entertained. It was weird and it made my skin crawl, but if it got her out of my hair, I'd let him do whatever he wanted. Besides, it wouldn't go any further than flirtation. Tony loved attention, but he only got undressed for dick.

The moment Ted and I stepped into the garage, I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Ted laughed, pulling a beer each out of the garage fridge for both of us.

"Thank you," I muttered, cracking it open. "I needed this."

"She means well."

"I know," I said, rolling my eyes. "It's just…"

"A lot?"

I nodded. "And then some."

"She's been worried about you being away for so long. And after you called home asking for money, it took me three weeks to convince her you weren't dead in an alley, having starved to death on the streets of Boston." He grinned, nudging my shoulder. "If you think this is bad, you should've seen her once we heard about your book deal. My god, she's been telling every person in town who'll stand still for more than two seconds that you're god's gift to planet earth."

"Christ's sake…"

"Yup." He took a drink of his beer, chuckling to himself. "I've been spending a lot of time in this garage. It's peaceful out here."

"And the car's running just fine now?"

He scoffed. "Of course it is! I take it to the dealer whenever it acts up. I don't know how to fix this shit." He glanced back at the door to the house. "Don't let your mother know that though."

I made a locking motion in front of my mouth. "My lips are sealed."

We were quiet for a long moment, just sipping on our beers. But Ted kept throwing glances my way out of the corner of his eye. Eventually, when it became obvious he would burst if he didn't speak, I spoke up first.

"Just say what you're gonna say," I sighed, grinning at him. "It's fine. You've earned it."

He grinned at that, while still looking a bit nervous. "I just… Well, I wanted to let you know how proud of you we are, Phoenix. You've done such an amazing job with your dreams that, frankly, I wasn't sure it would ever come to fruition."

"You and everyone else," I sighed.

"It's not that I didn't believe in you," he backtracked. "Because I do. I still do. You're determined and ambitious and smart. I knew you'd end up somewhere important, eventually. I'm not sure I expected you to pull it all off by twenty-four though."

"Tony is the real genius. I just wrote a book."

"He's a brilliant salesman, I'm sure," Ted nodded. "But that book is yours . And it's damn good too. You are the genius behind its success."

I furrowed my brows, looking up at him. "You read it?"

"Of course I did! My son wrote it, didn't he? What kind of dad would I be if I didn't read my son's New York Times bestselling novel?"

The man always knew how to worm his way into my heart. "I know it's about gay stuff… so I wasn't sure if you'd want to read it." A cold sensation suddenly gripped my stomach as I remembered all the raunchy sex scenes I'd written in based on my own experiences. "And it's… uh…"

"Sexy?" Ted offered.

I nodded, my face heated with embarrassment. "Yeah."

"Who says I'm not into that?"

My gaze shot back up to him, expecting him to laugh and tell me he was just kidding. But he only grinned.

"You… are?"

He shrugged. "College was a nice experiment," he said. "And I still think back on those days fondly. Don't get me wrong, for all her quirks, I love your mother dearly. But I can see the appeal of having another man around too."

I wasn't sure if I was impressed, weirded out, or curious about Ted's past. Maybe all three at the same time.

"I never knew that about you."

"Not many do."

"Does Mom know? "

"Yeah. And she's cool with it." He laughed to himself. "In fact, she brought up the idea of bringing another guy in so she could watch–"

"OKAY," I cried, holding up my hands to stop him. "That's super TMI for me, Ted."

"We just haven't found the right cuck chair yet though…"

" Dad ," I said, knowing that would get his attention. "Stop."

"Anyway," he continued. "Furniture issues aside. Your book is amazing Phoenix and you've done a great job. And now, if you want, you can continue to have success like this for the rest of your life. Just make sure you invest most of that money, okay? Don't go blowing it all on stupid shit."

"I've actually got an investment idea already."

"Oh? What kind?"

"I was thinking about buying a house for you and Mom up near Boston."

I expected Ted to smile, to tell me that was an amazing idea and that they'd love to be closer to me. But instead, his eyebrows drew together and he turned his head to the side like a confused puppy.

"You want us to leave Creekside?"

"Well, I mean my life is on the east coast now and I don't know how often I can get out here with all the book stuff going on. I thought it would be nice to have you both closer so we can do more family stuff again."

"It sounds nice," Ted began, hesitation filling his voice. "But… I'm surprised you'd want us to leave when Charlie is still here."

My mouth fell open.

"Unless you're inviting him to come to? "

"What?!" I scoffed. "Why the hell would I do that?"

Ted gave me a good once over, lifting an eyebrow. Something about his expression made me feel like I had to defend myself.

"Charlie and I haven't spoken in years! He wouldn't let me after he woke up even after I tried to visit him over and over again. I gave up trying after freshman year of college. All I wanted to do was be a good friend and help him through his pain. But he just pushed me away and cut me out without an explanation. The guy is a fucking jerk."

"But you're still in love with him."

It wasn't a question. Ted made his statement with a surprising amount of confidence. I didn't know where it was coming from or how he could've come to such a conclusion.

"No, I'm not. I'm with Tony now."

"You're fucking Tony," Ted corrected. "But you're in love with Charlie."

"Charlie isn't even my friend anymore, Ted! Why do you keep saying that?"

He turned his head to the side. "You don't even realize what you did, do you?"

Ted's cryptic questions were really starting to piss me off. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Your book," Ted replied. "You know the one sitting front and center at every bookstore across America?" His eyes were full of pity. "It's about Charlie."

I was too stunned to reply.

"Your mother read it too," Ted added. "She thinks it's about Charlie as well. There's too many similarities for it to be anyone else. "

I wanted to argue desperately. To tell Ted that he was a fucking idiot and wrong about everything ever and how dare he suggest something so ludicrous? I wanted to yell, to ask him how he could insinuate such a thing when he knew how badly I'd been hurt by Charlie's silence. I wanted to chuck my beer can across the garage and smash it through one of the big windows on the far side. I wanted to tell him he was wrong .

But the longer his words echoed in my skull, the more I realized… he was right .

Opalescent Dreams was the title of the book and a direct reference to the opal arrowhead I'd given Charlie. Not to mention, the main character wore the arrowhead throughout the entire story, given to him by his best friend. I'd written scenes where the boys kissed at a river and confessed their love to one another. And I'd even written in the death of the love interest's mother.

However, instead of the two characters being driven apart, they came together to overcome the trauma of their lives and be happy. It was the ending I'd so desperately wished Charlie and I could have had. The first half of the book was all truth, and the second half was a teenage fantasy of romance come to life.

But Ted was right. The book really was about Charlie. And the stupidest fucking thing of all was that I didn't notice I'd done it until that very moment. Hundreds of thousands of copies of my wishful broken heart were on display all across the country. The embarrassment and self-loathing threatened to consume me, body and soul.

"I… I need to go," I said, putting my beer down and heading for the door.

"I'm sorry Phoenix. I didn't mean to–"

But the door slammed behind me, cutting off Ted's apology as I stomped into the road. The world was dark and Creekside was silent. A glance at my watch told me there was only an hour until midnight. The entire town would be asleep, which I was glad for. I needed some time to think.

Letting my feet carry me, I pulled my hood up and allowed my thoughts to consume me. There was a lot to think about and even more to unpack.