10. Charlie

CHAPTER 10

Charlie

B eep… Beep… Beep…

The incessant beeping was driving me fucking crazy. I knew I was asleep because I'd had this dream before. On mornings when I didn't want to get up for school, my alarm would go off in real life and I'd hear it in my dreams. Then I'd dream about trying to turn it off, but nothing I did worked. And that's what was happening right now.

I'd already hit the button several dozen times and it wouldn't turn off. Smashing it with my fist still didn't get the noise to stop. Getting up out of bed I picked up the alarm clock and ripped it out of the wall, taking its power source away. But the beeping continued.

Next, I turned it over and tore it apart, looking for the batteries that it must have had to keep it beeping for so long. Even when I'd torn it in half and found no batteries, the beeping continued. Throwing it on the ground, I stomped it to pieces, my frustration reaching a fever pitch .

I crammed my fingers in my ears, which didn't help in the slightest, and tried to find a way to wake myself up. Usually, I just had to think about waking up for it to happen. But this time my brain didn't want to cooperate. Instead, I was stuck standing there, tears of frustration welling up.

Then I felt something in the back of my hand. A sharp prick of pain. I pulled my hand away from my ear looking it over. The moment I did, a low rumble filled my mind. It took me a second to realize it was a voice. I couldn't understand what it was saying. It sounded almost like those movie scenes where everything goes into slow motion and suddenly everyone sounds like dinosaurs or something.

Closing my eyes, I forced myself to concentrate on the sound. Somehow, I just knew that I needed to follow it. Bending all my will toward the sound, I moved my hands again. It came back once more, louder and quicker this time.

"He moved again!"

Taking a step, I willed my body to go toward that sound. I had to get out of this darkness full of it's never-ending beeping.

As soon as that first step landed, I felt my body whooshed forward through the void.

I sat straight up in bed with a gasp. When I opened my eyes, I was immediately blinded by light as bright as the sun. Even forcing them closed again didn't help. I lifted my hands to shield my face, but I found them painfully restrained by something. I ripped at the cords holding me in place, trying desperately to get away from that bright, blinding light.

I was suddenly terrified I'd gone the wrong way.

"Charlie! Don't do that!" It was Mrs. McKean's voice. "You're going to hurt yourself!" I felt her hands on my forearms, trying to hold me down. "Ted! I need you!"

A moment later there were much stronger hands on my arms, holding me down.

"Charlie," Mr. McKean said. "You're okay. But you're going to pull your IV out if you keep doing that."

IV? What the hell was he talking about? But I didn't have time to think about that just yet. My brain was racing, and my heart was beating a million miles per hour. I was terrified of that light. Terrified that I'd strayed too far in my sleep and I was on the edge of death. I'd heard all about ‘going toward the light' and that was the last fucking thing I wanted to do.

"Light…" I choked, my throat bone dry and painful. "Can't… go… light."

A thick hand let go of my arm and came to rest across my eyes, blocking out the light immediately.

"You're okay," Ted repeated, his hand firmly on my face. "Laura! Turn the lights off and shut the curtains. He hasn't opened his eyes for nearly four months. It's blinding him."

Despite my racing heart and brain, the words landed on my ears, but I didn't understand them. I'd just been dreaming. Obviously, I was at home in my bed, and I'd just woken up. But why were the McKeans in my room? Why were my arms restrained? Why did the sheets feel so scratchy? And why did I feel so weak?

"Go get Phoenix," Ted said as soon as the whooshing of the curtains had ended. "He'll keep Charlie calm."

Footsteps rushed out of the room and while I wanted to open my eyes and figure out what the hell was going on, I was also happy for the darkness once more. Then I heard the beeping and let out a groan.

"What's wrong, Charlie?"

"Be… Beep…" I managed to say at last. "S-Stop."

Ted's other hand let me go and I heard a small click. The beeping stopped.

"Is that better?"

I nodded, relief flooding through my system as I nearly teared up. Finally, after all that time… the beeping had finally stopped. In a matter of seconds, I felt my sanity begin to return. I was still confused as to where I was and why the neighbors were in my room. But at least I didn't feel like I was being driven to madness anymore.

Footsteps rushed back into the room. By the sound of it, two pairs of them. I heard a sharp intake of air and turned to face it.

"Ch… Charlie?"

It was Nix's voice.

"I'm going to remove my hand, okay?" Ted said, his fingers flexing against my skin. "Don't pull your arms up, alright?"

I nodded and his hand slowly came away from my skin. Even with my eyes closed, I could tell the room was a lot darker now. Still, there were a few bright pinpricks of light on either side of me. But I didn't care. I needed to see Phoenix. To ask him what the hell was going on. I knew I could trust him no matter what. So, with a concentrated effort, I forced my eyes open at last.

The first thing I saw was those bright green eyes and that messy auburn hair. I squinted, trying to focus on Nix. He looked careworn and there were tears streaming down his face. But I didn't understand why .

"N-Nix?" I asked, my voice raspy.

He was suddenly at my side, lifting a styrofoam cup to my mouth. Cool water splashed over my tongue and ran down my chin, but I drank it greedily. He pulled it away before I could take the entire glass, but just the few drops I got had an immediate effect. It was like the first rain in the desert as it ran down my throat. All at once my vocal cords seemed to have life again, and it felt good to swallow for what felt like the first time in ages.

"Charlie…" he muttered, his hand going to the side of my face. "You're okay. You're really okay…"

I reached up and touched his hand. "I'm f-fine," I managed to get out. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He looked up at me, a pained expression on his face that confused me. My gaze darted to the side, and I noticed the hand touching his face, my hand had tubes coming out of the back of it. Not only that, but the flesh was pale and… deflated . I pulled it away from his face, turning it over as I tried to figure out what had happened to my hands.

That's when I finally noticed that the sheets weren't mine and the bed was a strange shape. I glanced up, taking in the drop tile ceiling and the large fluorescent lights that were thankfully off. There were whiteboards with notes on the walls, charts, medical supplies, and all sorts of odd things I didn't know the name of. Turning to the side I saw I was surrounded by machines. It wasn't until that moment that I finally realized that I was hooked up to all of them.

My heart began to pound once more. The calming effect Phoenix had on me disappeared in an instant.

"W-Where…"

"You're in the hospital in Portland," Nix said, his voice shaky. "But you're okay now. "

I glanced up at Ted, his words coming back to me. "F-Four… months?"

He winced but nodded. My heart rate sped up even further and my chest tightened. It was suddenly hard to breathe.

I turned back to Nix. "W-Why?"

"You don't remember what happened?" he asked, his thumb gliding over my cheek. "The car crash?"

It was as if someone had shot me. I yelped as several memories came flooding back all at once. I remembered the car going sideways, the flipping through the air, the pain as we struck the ground once more. I saw my mother's pained and horrified expression as she held her arm against my chest, trying to protect me from being injured. There was a flash of hope as the car neared the edge of the road and seemed like it would stop. Then a flood of horror as I realized we would go over the side.

"Mom…" I said, looking up at Phoenix. "Where's Mom?"

He stared at me wide-eyed, tears slipping down his cheeks. "I… she…"

For some reason, he couldn't speak. So I looked up at Ted. "Where is she?"

He bit his lip and his wife, standing at his side, lifted her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob. Why weren't they telling me where she was? I didn't understand.

"Nix," I said, grabbing his hand. "Where's Mom?"

I don't know how long he was silent. But when he finally spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper.

"She… She…" He swallowed hard. "She didn't… make it."

The words didn't compute. What was he trying to say ?

Nix saw my brows furrow and took another deep breath. "You were the only survivor."

The world seemed to stop spinning around me as his meaning finally sunk in.

My mother was… dead. Dead. Dead. The word repeated over and over in my mind as my heart went into overdrive. The machine next to me started blaring and a red light flashed behind me. I was shaking so hard that I could barely tear my hand away from Nix. My chest tightened and even though I knew the room was full of air, I felt like I couldn't get a single breath into my lungs.

"Go… away…" I shuddered, not wanting anyone to see me like this.

"Charlie! It's okay," Nix said, holding me tight. "I'm right here. We'll get through this together!"

Everything made perfect sense now. The reason I was so weak, why I wasn't at home, and why my skin looked so pale and lifeless. I'd been sitting in a hospital bed for four months recovering from a car crash without ever knowing that my mother had died less than a foot from me as we tumbled down that mountain. I was furious at the situation, gutted by my loss, and embarrassed that Nix and his family had seen me in this state.

I could feel the meltdown coming on and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The only thing I could do was shout.

"GO AWAY!" I screamed, my throat filling with pain as skin tore from the strain. "GO!"

Nurses streamed into the room, all of them shouting several different orders all at once. One of them ushered the McKeans out of my room while two had to pry Nix away from me.

"Charlie! It's okay!" he cried, trying to fight his way back to me. "I'm right here!"

"No," I said, shaking my head. I looked up at the ceiling, hot tears burning my skin as I fought to breathe. "No… no… no…"

"We have to sedate him," one of the nurses said.

"He just woke up!" Nix cried. "Are you fucking crazy?! Don't you dare put him back to sleep!"

"You want me to let him kill himself?" the nurse yelled back. She turned to one of the other nurses who was holding a syringe near my IV tube. "Sedate him!"

I looked back at Nix, just as he was about to be taken out of the room. Those green eyes were filled with flames, the passion and care he felt for me doing everything it could to bring us back together again. I stared at him as the syringe was plunged into my IV drip.

"Keep him out," I said between gasps. "Keep… everyone … out."

I watched as that fire in Nix's eyes died. And then, just like before, a familiar darkness overtook me, and I was alone once more.