37. Charleigh

THIRTY-SEVEN

CHARLEIGH

I froze at the brutal force of his words.

A shiver rolled through me as I felt the energy shift in the room. The bliss we'd been floating on evaporated, and in its place was a hostility so severe it clogged the air in toxic venom.

I should have known this would be coming. Should have known he wouldn't ignore it the way I needed him to.

I shook my head to clear the stupor, my brain foggy from the perfection of his touch, and I hurried to grab my clothes, then turned to face him as if I could hide my back. I doubted it did anything but emphasize it with the way I had to bend over while I fumbled to get on my underwear, then my sweats.

"Who?" he demanded, still towering.

I readjusted the cups of my bra and tugged my tank back over my head, voice haggard. "It's nothing."

What bullshit.

He knew it.

Of course, he knew it. He'd known it all along.

Alarms blared at the back of my head, that part of me that had always kept myself shrouded.

Hidden .

Because I couldn't expose myself like this, but what had I expected when I'd let him touch me like this? See me like this?

"Nothing?" It was pure malice.

I glanced up at him. I shouldn't have looked. Should have known his stricken expression was going to cut me even deeper.

"It doesn't matter, River. It doesn't matter because it's in the past."

And I was here because he promised to show me what it was like to move on from that. It's what I needed so desperately. But maybe I really was a fool to believe that I could ever truly have it.

A ball of grief threatened at the base of my throat.

His face pinched in disbelief. "It doesn't matter? It fuckin' matters, Charleigh. It fuckin' matters because you've been running scared for years. Running because some monster inflicted that kind of pain on you. Running because I know you're afraid of him finding you. And you came running to me. Believe me, it fucking matters."

He slammed his fist against his bare chest. His massive chest that vibrated with an aggression so severe I was sure it couldn't be contained.

Dread sank like a stone to the pit of my stomach.

Terror trembling through me.

Not for my own safety.

But because of what I saw written all over this man. I think it was the first time I truly saw what he was capable of. The lengths he would go to when he promised that he would protect me.

And I couldn't…I couldn't…

Panic bubbled inside me, and I gulped around the fear and desperation. He couldn't get involved in this. I couldn't let him.

"I'm here for you to show me this, River." I flung a hand out to where he'd sent me soaring on the loveseat. "Here for you to make me forget everything else but this . This thing that you make me feel. But I can't give you what you're asking me for."

"Because you're afraid."

I choked an aggrieved sound, and the words hitched on a sob. "Of course, I'm afraid." My hands spread over my heart that was battering against my chest. "I'm afraid. I will always be afraid. Why do you think I can't do this with you?"

The truth of it hit the room like a bomb, and I shook my head as the realization struck me.

Struck me with the force of a landslide.

"I never should have come here."

It destroyed me, but it was true, and I wound around him and headed for the door. I had to get away from him before he convinced me that I could give him this. I should have known he'd be right behind me. I went to turn the knob when a hand slammed down on the door over my head, blocking my escape.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to get out of here. Away." I yanked at the knob.

"You think I can just ignore what I saw? After what we just did? After everything?"

My head dropped, and I could feel his harsh breaths panted at the nape of my neck.

"I need you to let me go," I whispered.

I could feel the battle that went down inside him, every muscle in his body trembling with malice.

With violence.

Finally, he peeled himself back.

I felt the movement like a loss.

A cold slick that slipped down my spine.

I swallowed down the urge to turn to him, to confess it all, to give him exactly what he'd demanded, and I opened the door, silently berating myself for even thinking of being so reckless.

I'd allowed myself to stumble. To become distracted. I started to duck through the door when the rumble of his words vibrated the air, stopping me in my tracks.

"Fine. Fuckin' run because we both know that's what you do best."

I stalled for two beats before I hurried on my bare feet down the hall and to the room where he'd left my things. Frantic, I stuffed my feet into my shoes, shoved my scrubs that I'd left on the floor into the duffle, slung the strap over my shoulder, and grabbed my purse. I immediately turned and ran back out .

I could feel the heat of him blister down the hall. The energy crack.

Drawn, I could do nothing but look that way.

He stood in his doorway, seething and bent on wrath.

Mammoth shoulders nearly touching each side.

But it was what I saw in his expression that nearly made me falter. The hurt and the pain.

I dropped my gaze to the floor and forced myself to turn and run downstairs.

I didn't even know where I was going when I hit the landing, but I crossed the rest of the way to the front door and fumbled through the locks and ran out into the cool air of the night.

I didn't let the tears start falling until I made it up his drive and onto the street.

They burned, streaking fast, the heat of them clashing with the breeze that rustled through the branches of the colossal trees.

The thick, lush leaves blocked out the moon, and I hurried through the murky haze toward the road that followed along the lake.

What was I doing? What was I doing?

I tried to convince myself it was better to end it this way before it was too late.

Before I fell for the man and his little boy.

It was the hacking at my heart that warned it might already be too late.

I hurried down the narrow road in front of his house then made a left at Vista View.

The night surrounded on all sides, though the cover of the trees had opened here. Rays of moonlight slanted through the atmosphere and glittered across the surface of the lake.

Everything was still.

The quiet distinct.

It wasn't until then that I realized I was alone.

Completely alone.

Again .

So alone that the fear crept in, rising up from the fringes to crowd in at the edges of my sight.

My heart thundered, and I quickened my pace as I fumbled around in my purse to get my phone. I went to thumb into a ride-share app. Frustration and a tremble of something deeper rolled through me when I saw that I had no service.

"Crap."

My attention darted each direction to search my surroundings, hating the deathly quiet, but also knowing it was the safest.

I kept moving through the fear.

I was close to a jog as I moved down the desolate road. Here, the houses were tucked back on their properties. Most glowed with lights, though they somehow felt a million miles away.

Unreachable.

I rounded the first corner, my breaths coming out of time, out of sync, my pulse careening in my veins.

I felt as if I'd run five miles even though I'd probably barely walked a quarter of one.

The sound of an approaching car grew behind me. I gulped for air as I increased my pace as the wash of headlights sprayed across the road. Terror gushed, and I scolded myself for being so reckless all while encouraging myself I was only being paranoid.

Apparently, I wasn't great at self-pep talks because I nearly dumped my bag and sprinted into the woods when the car slowed and began to inch along beside me, though I stalled when the window rolled down and the tinkling voice called from within, "Okay, bestie, get your cute butt in my car before I have to toss you in. I can't believe you'd think we'd let you go traipsing down this road alone in the middle of the night."

Raven kept inching along beside me.

I finally fell to a full stop and gave her the first stupid defense I could find. "It's ten."

Raven rolled her sable eyes. "Whatever you want to call it, it's dark and scary and there are bears in these woods. Do you think I'm going to leave you out here as bait? "

"I think there are worse things in the world than bears."

Her hazards were suddenly flashing right as her door clicked open. She climbed out, barefoot and wearing the same sweats she'd been wearing during the movie, though now her hair was undone, a wild, disordered mess.

Another piece of myself fractured when she crossed the road and took my hand.

It wasn't until then that I fully looked up at her through bleary eyes.

"Oh, Charleigh," she whispered when she saw the state I was in. She threw her arms around me and tugged me close. At her embrace, I broke, and guttural sobs erupted from my chest.

She rubbed my back and swayed me before she finally murmured, "I know you're used to doing things on your own, but you're not alone anymore."

I couldn't respond, and she eased back, keeping hold of me by one hand. "Now, let's get out of here before the bears actually eat us."

I could tell she was only partially joking.

"I don't think I can go back there." I mumbled it toward the ground.

I wanted to. God, I wanted to, and I realized I'd never been in more danger than right then. The way I felt like giving in. And with River? With his reaction? With his confession that he'd done terrible things? I could only imagine what that would mean.

Reaching out, Raven touched my cheek. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here for you, and I'll take you wherever you want to go."

I sniffled and swiped the back of my hand over my face. "Thank you."

She led me toward her car. "Um, did I not tell you I was going to be the best bestie around? Get used to it."

She opened the passenger door, took my bag, and tossed it into the backseat. "Now get in."

I guessed River was right. She always did get her way.