29. Charleigh

TWENTY-NINE

CHARLEIGH

"Is there a restroom I can use?"

Call it deflection, but I needed a second to gather myself. My body still burned from River's overpowering kiss, burned from the direction I'd been sure we'd been heading.

Then River had just left without an explanation, and I wasn't quite sure what to say or do with the way Raven was studying me right then.

"Right this way, Miss Charleigh!" Nolan sprang into action, grabbing my hand and hopping backward as he hauled me past Raven and back through the kitchen archway, down the hall, and to the door across from the laundry room.

"Here you go!" He pulled me inside the small powder room. "There is toilet paper and soap and a towel and every single thing you need but if you can't find somethin', you just let me know because I'm always at your service. I gotta take good care of our special guest."

He said it in his adorable lisp, and my heart rattled in my chest, taken by this child.

"I'm very happy to be your special guest," I told him, unable to do anything but run my fingertips over the dash of freckles on his chubby cheek.

"It's not even a little problem because I'm really glad you're here. "

A clogged chuckle climbed up my throat. "I'm glad I'm here, too."

Without saying anything else, he went bounding out, and I closed the door and moved to the sink. Inhaling a steadying breath, I turned on the faucet and splashed water on my face, hoping the cold water would put out this fire.

I wasn't sure it was possible when I shut it off and looked at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flaming red, and I was pretty sure the scuff of River's big hands was written all over me.

I grabbed one of the hand towels that were perfectly rolled on a shelf. I had it pressed to my face when the door suddenly burst open. I gasped, whirling that way to find Raven pushing through. She shut the door behind her, boxing us in, her voice dropped when she pressed, "Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

No. I absolutely didn't. I'd revealed enough today, hadn't I?

I placed the hand towel on the pedestal sink, focusing on it for a second before I turned to my friend who had her head cocked to the side.

Both curious and impatient.

My first friend I'd had in so long that she almost didn't seem real. One I'd been afraid of making for this very reason.

Because it exposed me.

Made me vulnerable.

Or a liar.

But I didn't want to be one of those. Not after she'd been so kind. Not when she'd come to mean more to me than I'd ever believed she could.

I blew out a sigh. "I thought I was being followed after work today, so I went to your brother's shop."

"What?" She screeched it as she flew forward and grabbed my hand, then she cringed and lowered her voice as she continued, "Someone was following you? Who?"

This was the part I didn't know how to answer. "I'm not sure. I just…got a sense that someone was watching me."

Her brown eyes widened as she was hit with the realization. "Is this what happened a couple weeks ago at the festival? You got that same sense when you were giving me that ridiculous line about going hiking because hello, who would go hiking when you could be hanging out with me, instead?"

I gave her a wary nod, and in return, hers was affirming. "I thought something more was happening than you were letting on."

I wasn't surprised.

I thought both she and her brother could see right through me.

Concern twisted her brow. "Is this something that's been going on? Is someone stalking you?"

I warred before I was whispering, "I got out of a bad relationship a while ago. It messed me up pretty badly, and I've always been afraid that it is going to catch up to me."

It was the truth without revealing too much.

Sorrow pulled through her expression, and I swore I saw her own ghosts flicker through her eyes. "I've been worried that's what it was. The reason you've been alone and afraid of trusting anyone. But you're not anymore. You're not alone."

She reiterated what she'd said at the café a couple weeks ago. Then speculation crowded into her expression. I couldn't tell if it was glee or disapproval. "And you ran to my brother so you wouldn't have to be alone."

It wasn't even a question.

My teeth clamped down on my bottom lip. Undoubtedly, the action served as a confession. And admission.

Her voice shifted in emphasis. "Good. My brother and his friends are exactly who you should turn to if you're in trouble. But the question I'm wondering is how it was that you felt comfortable to go to him?"

There was the prodding. Her expression hinting at the same thing she'd implied at the café. That River was wanting to claim me.

The problem was, that claiming would only be temporary, and I was afraid if I had too much of him, I was going to want it forever.

I inhaled. "We've been…texting."

Her nod was slow. "Yeah, I know."

"You do?"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Like he could hide the way he's been slinking around here, acting all covert as he checked his phone every two minutes."

He was?

I wanted to smack myself that my chest glowed at the thought.

Her chuckle was low and overflowing with wry disbelief as she shook her head.

I scowled at her. "Why are you laughing like that?"

"Because it's just as it seemed."

"What is?"

"My brother wants you. Really wants you. Like… really wants you."

My skin tingled in all the places where he'd touched me.

"He's just being kind."

She laughed. Fully laughed. "Um, sorry to break it to you, Charleigh, but kind probably isn't something most would attribute to my brother. And if my brother brought you here? He might not admit it, but I'm pretty sure he plans on keeping you."

My heart fluttered. Damn it.

"No. We're just…friends."

"Friends?" she challenged.

I nodded with as much innocence as I could muster.

She didn't buy it for a second. "Has he kissed you?"

I might as well have been twelve with the way my cheeks flamed.

She gasped. "Have you two gotten naked?"

I had the urge to bury my head. "No, of course not."

"But he kissed you?" she prompted.

In unease, I shifted on my feet. "Are you mad?"

A frown cut through her features. "Why would I be mad?"

"I don't even know," I admitted. But whatever River and I were doing, it felt like a secret. Maybe because every element of my life had always needed to be that way.

She took my hand again, and her voice softened. "Of course I'm not mad, Charleigh. I love you both and I want you both to be happy. But my brother… "

She trailed off, hesitating, as if she wasn't sure she should admit whatever she'd been thinking.

"He has issues," she seemed to settle on.

I choked over a small, self-deprecating laugh. "Don't we all?"

"Oh yeah, the issues run rampant around here. Believe me. But River?"

I peered over at her, wondering what she would say. If she'd give voice to the ferocity that blazed from him. The viciousness. The danger.

My gut promised it wasn't superficial. Promised there was something hazardous woven in his layers.

Her voice whispered in stark affection. "His go deep, Charleigh. He doesn't believe he deserves to be loved or even happy, but he does. He deserves it more than anyone I know. If you understood the sacrifices he's made? What he did for me? The ones he continues to make for others? The only thing I've wanted is for him to find his joy."

She paused then tilted her head back a fraction. "Maybe you're the only one who can show him he deserves it."

"It's not like that with us." It rasped out of me. Our relationship had already been written. He'd vowed to be there for me, but only for a little while. It had to be enough. "I'm in no position to fall in love with anyone."

She reached out and ran her thumb over the outer edge of my eye. I didn't realize there was a tear there until she wiped it away. "You know, it's funny that he feels the same way. Life has a way of convincing us that we don't want something, or we don't have space for it, or we believe we're not even worthy of it. And sometimes what we need finds us, anyway."

There was suddenly a wild pounding at the door. "Hey, what are you guys doin' in there? You better not be havin' a party without me. I been waitin' out here for the whole day, and I almost don't have any of the patience left. And patience is somethin' Miss Liberty says I gotta have."

A small shot of amusement rolled off my tongue, and Raven snagged me by the hand as she whipped open the door. "What? Have a party without you? That would just be rude. "

"The rudest." Nolan said it with a resolute jut of his chin.

Raven took Nolan's hand and started to haul us both back in the direction of the main house. "Since you mentioned party, I'm thinking that's exactly what we should have."

"Because I have smart ideas like my dad?" Nolan asked, jumping in the air with each step he took, his mass of curls bouncing around his adorable head.

"Um, heck yes, you have all the smart ideas like your dad." She shifted to look at me with a mischievous grin on her mouth. "You know, like bringing you here."