Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Matt

I scan the room again, looking through every face in the crowd, but I still don't see her. All week I've looked for her, stalking the library every night, waiting for her to show up, but she never did. I almost cracked and gave Jax a call to get her number, but I knew he'd want to know why I needed it, and I don't exactly want to answer that question. If he knew I was secretly crushing on his girlfriend's nemesis, he'd probably lose all respect for me. Which is exactly why I should forget about the girl and do as she said: pretend like she doesn't exist. But I can't take my eyes off the doorway. My stomach lurches every time someone walks through it.

"So, are you going to make your move tonight, Mr. Mopey?"

I cast Chase a glare as he comes up to my side. He's the one who's been moping around all week—more like wallowing in his regret. Though, he seems to be in better spirits tonight. Wonder if he finally cleared the air with Ruby.

"I haven't been moping." I yank the beer out of his hand, taking a long chug before I hand it back. "And I'm not making a move. I just want to apologize to her."

"Suit yourself." He looks at his half-empty bottle, shaking his head. "But like I said, don't let Hunter stand in your way from finding love."

Love ? Love is out of the question. Lust—definitely a problem that I can't seem to shake. I've been thinking about her every day. Dreaming about her at night. Violating her in my thoughts every time I'm in the shower. But love? Not a chance.

"What about you?" I turn to face him, needing to stop my obsessive staring at the door. "How are things with you and Ruby?"

"Great." He smiles wide. "She's going to come into town to go to the Halloween Bash with me. Just a few weeks and I'll get to see my baby."

There's a twinge of envy in my chest. He's a lucky guy. What he has with Ruby is rare. The two of them are best friends. They tease each other constantly and are always laughing on the phone. It's the kind of relationship I long to have.

"I think I'm going to ask her to marry me, Matt." That's got my attention. "It might sound crazy, but she's the one, so I don't see the point in waiting. Plus, I don't want anyone getting the idea they can steal her from me. Ruby's my girl, and I want everyone at her school to know it."

It definitely sounds a little crazy since we're only nineteen years old. But I'm guessing his fear of losing her is what's driving him forward. He's projecting, probably having realized that Ruby could just as easily make the same choice he did. I'm gathering he wouldn't be too happy if the shoe was on the other foot and she went out on a date with a guy because the sorority told her to. Though, from what I know about the girl, I think she'd be upfront about it.

"That's big news, man." I hold out my fist for a bump. "Congrats!"

"Yeah, well don't congratulate me yet. I still need her to say yes."

I don't think he has anything to worry about. I've overheard a few of their nightly Facetime calls and she's constantly telling him how much she loves him. I think she'll definitely be giving him a yes.

"I've heard you two. And the number of I-love-yous you've said to each other is almost sickening," I tease.

"You're lucky we save all the dirty talk for when you're not around." He wiggles his brow. "Damn, the girl knows what to say to get me off."

"Too much, man. Too much." I shake my head. "I don't want to know what you do in our room when I'm not there."

He chuckles, wagging his brows at me, and I'm grabbing the beer back, chugging the rest of its contents down.

"Well, look who just arrived." He lets out a low whistle as his attention goes to something behind me. I turn to see for myself, and walking into the room is the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. Sienna looks like a Christmas present wrapped in tight red satin. The top of her dress is shaped like a heart, making mine beat faster as I see the crease of her cleavage right between the v. My mouth waters at the sight, my eyes traveling lower to take in the rest of her. Her long, toned legs are on display, being highlighted by the gold heels she's wearing. I never go for the girls who reveal all their assets, but Sienna is the exception.

"Might want to put your tongue back in your mouth," Chase chuckles.

I run my hands down my face. The war is already waging between desire and morality. Immoral thoughts are burning in the forefront, and my need is making itself known between my legs. But that little angel sitting on my shoulder is telling me I need to keep my distance.

"By the way, you might want to go over there before the sharks descend. Look at Hunter. He's already got his sights on her. Doesn't even give a shit that his girlfriend is watching him."

I look over and see the jerk staring at Sienna with a clear hunger in his eyes. His tongue is practically hitting the floor. Meanwhile, Cara is staring up at him, looking upset as she waits for his attention to return. I'm shocked she hasn't figured out by now that he's only using her to make Sie jealous. When the girl turns an angry glare in Sienna's direction, it becomes clear that she's an idiot. Hunter is the one she should be mad at, not the girl who's not even paying any attention to her boyfriend. But jealousy is obviously overriding her good sense, and now Sienna is the target of her anger.

I hand Chase the bottle then make my way through the crowd, feeling my heart pound harder with every step closer. Sienna's head turns in my direction, and right as our eyes connect, my view is blocked.

"Matt. You look so hot. How are you?" Margot stops right in front of me, her eyes roaming over my body. She's a vulture on the hunt for her prey too, but after the way she treated Sie, I'm not interested in even trying to pretend to give a shit about her. I step around her, walking right up to the one I want.

When Sienna sees me coming, she quickly turns, rushing out of the room. My pace quickens and I shove through the crowd, catching up to her. I step in front of her path, blocking her way.

"Where are you running to, Sie?"

Her gorgeous eyes cast up, and I'm shaken by the feelings stirring in my gut.

"I'm going to go get a drink." Liar.

"How about a dance first?"

She shakes her head, taking a step back. "No, Matt. I don't want to dance with someone who hates me."

I don't hate her. Far from it, apparently. It'd be easier if I did because then I wouldn't be so conflicted by the feelings trying to take root. But I saw a glimpse of a different side of her, and I think there are a lot more layers to the girl than what meets the eye.

"I'm sorry for what I said at the library, Sienna. It was a shitty thing for me to say."

"It's fine. You were just saying how you feel." She tries to step around me again, but I reach out and grab her waist, stopping her.

"No. That's not how I feel, Sienna. How I feel is"— that I want to kiss you so much it's all I can think about —"that I want to get to know you better."

My friends back home would call me a fool for even talking to the girl, and maybe they'd be right, but I can't shake this feeling. Man, I want to kiss her red lips.

There's an uncertainty in her eyes as she stares up at me. After what I said to her the other night, she probably doesn't know whether she can trust me or not. Yet another contradiction to the girl I knew back in high school. Because that girl would've told me to fuck off, telling me I'm not worthy of her time, not rich enough to make the cut, but she's the one looking nervous right now.

"Do you want to go outside and get some fresh air?" I ask. My body could use a cool down. It's growing hotter by the second as the vulnerability washes over her face, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as her cheeks pinken. Seeing the glimmer of fear in her eyes is one of the prettiest sights I've ever seen.

"Okay," she finally agrees, and her soft voice strikes me right in the chest. I take her hand and lead her through the crowd, breathing easier once we're out in the cold night air and all the guys are no longer staring at her. If Hunter asks me what I was doing with her, I'll tell him we wanted to talk about our classes and couldn't hear over the loud music and all the chatter. Judging by the look he had in his eyes, I don't think it will be long before he comes hunting for us.

"Can we take a walk?" I ask, needing to get her away from the door.

Her eyes drift down to her heels, studying the sparkles long and hard. "These aren't exactly sneakers. Can we go sit down somewhere?"

Right. Kind of wasn't even thinking about that. All I'm thinking about is wanting to be closer to her. Wanting to take down her walls and learn who she is under all the layers of social expectation. "How about we go sit in my truck?"

When she tips her chin, I lock my fingers with hers again, noticing how nervous she is and how sweaty her palm is as I lead her to my truck. I didn't think anything made the girl nervous. Another assumption proven wrong.

I unlock my passenger door, feeling like my old truck is too run-down for the likes of this pretty girl, but she doesn't bat an eye as the door creaks open. I hold it for her as she climbs inside, and my eyes go straight to where her dress is sliding up her thighs. I can almost see between her legs, but then she shifts and takes her seat, and the view of her sexy rear is gone. I shut the door, adjusting myself in my jeans as I walk around the rear of the vehicle.

"Sorry, it's a mess," I say, climbing in and looking around at all the crap I have in the console. I didn't expect to have company tonight, but now I wish I'd had the thing detailed.

"It feels real," she sighs, resting her head back and taking a deep breath as she looks up at the tattered roof that's slowly sagging in. "And it smells like you." Her head turns, and the faintest smile tips her cheeks. For the first time since I've known the girl, she looks real.

"I'm tired, Matt." Her voice is quiet, sounding exhausted. She must not be sleeping much. I haven't been sleeping much either. My dreams keep waking me up in a sweat every night, having to rush to the bathroom so I can work her out of my system until I'm exhausted enough to fall back asleep.

"I'm so tired." Her head turns back, staring up to the roof again. "I'm tired of always having to be so perfect. I'm tired of living up to everyone's expectations. I'm tired of having to pretend like it doesn't hurt." Tears glisten in her beautiful eyes, and I can see the pain wearing her down. This isn't about sleep. She's hurting.

"I don't want to do it anymore." Her eyes squeeze shut, and my stomach tightens. "I just want to be me." A tear finally slips free, sliding down her cheek. I reach out, wiping the salty drop away as I look at this beautiful girl who's breaking in front of me. Something's going on. She was always a stone-cold wall, impenetrable to other people's opinions. Power and control were her fuel, but something must've happened because she's crumbling right before my eyes.

"What's going on, babe? Talk to me. Are the girls still being mean to you?" If they are, I'm going to be sending a letter to the dean of the school and informing him that he has a bunch of bullies on his hands.

"It's not just that." She shakes her head, and more tears slip free. "It's all of it." Her head turns and her pain-filled eyes open, making my heart pound fast at the beautiful sight. "I can't even get myself to dance anymore. It's the one thing that I loved. But my mother's voice is always in my head, telling me how terrible I am, that I look like a fumbling idiot when I move, then I have to shut the music off."

God, how could her mom say that about her? She was the most incredible dancer I've ever seen; her talent was unmatched. It truly was like watching a star up on stage, the entire room mesmerized by her body, everyone in the auditorium erupting into a standing ovation when it was over. It was the only thing I could never deny about her. The girl was a natural.

"Every time I eat a piece of chocolate, I hear her voice telling me how fat I am." Fat? How could anyone call her fat? She has the body girls envy. "It never stops." She shakes her head, and the tears slip faster. "And every time I look at you, Matt…" She takes a shuttering breath. "I feel the pain of my regret for what I did to Lexie."

My biased opinion shatters. She's not the girl I thought she was. Those thorns she pricked everyone with grew from pain.

"It was all my mother would talk about." Her chin wobbles as she continues. "‘You need to be more like Lexie. God, why couldn't I have had a daughter like Lexie. Lexie's perfect. You're never going to be as good of a dancer as Lexie. Lexie is thin and beautiful, and look at you, Sienna; your calves are huge, and your hips are wide.'"

And the picture of understanding finally comes into focus. Now, I know why she was so cruel to my friend. The beautiful rose had been poisoned by her mother.

"I couldn't take it anymore." More tears run down her cheeks, each one breaking my heart for her. "I just wanted her out of my class so my mom would stop comparing me to her. So, I went to the dance instructor and told her that Lex had been talking about people behind their backs. That she was being mean. I hated her so much. But it wasn't her fault, Matt. It was me. I was the mean girl." Her voice breaks on a heavy sob, and I pull her into my chest, holding her close as her pain wracks her body.

My mother always told me that cruelty stems from insecurities, but I had a hard time believing it. With all of Sienna's beauty, wealth, and popularity, I didn't see what she could possibly be insecure about, but her mom is the one to blame. She's poisoned her daughter into thinking she's not good enough. And this beautiful girl believed every lie.

"I'm so sorry, baby. She's wrong. None of those things are true." I stroke her hair, wishing I could absorb all the hurt she's felt over the years. God, if her mother isn't on a path straight to hell, she should be. She's the real bitch, not Sienna.

"I couldn't take my eyes off you when you were up on stage, Sie." I run my fingers down her back, trying to soothe her soul. "You're so talented. And so beautiful." God, she's the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. And seeing how real and raw she is makes her even prettier. "Your mother was wrong. Lexie is pretty, but you're in a whole other league, Sienna."

She shifts in my arms, peeking up at me from under her hair. Even with puffy eyes she's gorgeous.

"And I'm not just saying that to make you feel better, babe." I sweep the hair off her face so I can see her. "I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you." Even when I didn't like her, it was an undeniable reality that she was gorgeous, only made ugly by her actions. But it turns out, those were reactions of a girl who was living under the roof of a bully.

"I wish I could erase every horrid thing she said to you, babe. You didn't deserve it. God, you're so perfect." I hug her closer, never wanting to let go.

Her tears keep falling, and I keep holding her as she weathers her storm. My heart is falling faster for the girl as every minute passes. The feelings that I was trying to deny are becoming harder to ignore. And I'm starting to think there's something worth exploring.

"Do you believe in redemption, Matt?" I look down as her quiet voice cuts through the silence. "Do you think I'll be forgiven for all the horrible things I did back in school?"

I think she already has been redeemed.

"What you did was wrong, babe, but I don't think you're evil. Not by a long shot."

She tucks her head back down, snuggling in closer, and the warmth spreads throughout my chest.

"I think Karma wanted to teach me a lesson," she breathes. "I took dancing away from Lexie, and my mother took it away from me."

"You can always dance again, baby. You don't have to let your mother stop you."

"She threw away my acceptance to the dance academy. By the time I'd learned I'd gotten in, my spot had already been given to someone else."

The one who truly needs to be saved is her mother. That witch ripped her daughter's dream away. How could a mother do that to her child?

"Listen to me, Sie. If you want to dance, you will. Don't let her stop you from going after your dream. And don't let her tell you you're not good enough. You're the most incredible dancer I've ever seen."

She looks up, and I suck in a breath. Those emotions I've been fighting nearly taking my breath away.

"Thank you," she whispers. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

She has no idea how much it means that she was willing to share this with me. After what she's been through, I can see why it's so hard for her to trust. But she just shared a part of herself I don't think anyone has seen. And now that I've gotten a glimpse of the girl underneath, I want to see more.

"Will you let me take you on a date tomorrow night?"

"You still want to go out with me after you just saw me ugly cry?" The quirk of her lips has my heart beating faster. Her strength is inspiring, and so fucking sexy I can't even think straight. My body is overheating, and having her in my arms is something I could definitely get used to.

"I've never seen anyone more beautiful than the girl before me," I say, brushing the hair off her face, my eyes drifting right to her swollen lips.

Her intake of air catches me right in the chest. I want to kiss her so hard, it's all I can think about. My body is starting to heat again as the pain starts to fade from her glistening eyes. Eyes that look nothing like the girl I once knew. These eyes are soft, and hopeful, and so fucking pretty I don't want to look away.

"I need to kiss you, Sie."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

I pull her up closer, pressing forward and feeling a spark rock through my entire body as our mouths come together. It takes me by force. My tongue slides right through her parted seam and I kiss her with abandon. Every nerve in my body comes alive. A fire is burning so hot in my gut, I think I might burst into flames. I can't get enough of her. I need to be closer. Need to have more. God, I never thought it could feel like this. So intense. So magnetic.

She lets out a moan, squirming under my touch, and I pull back, looking into her eyes. The fire is burning just as hot, coursing through her body as her legs squeeze together. I reach out, slowly running my hand over her soft skin, feeling her tremble under my touch. I watch as her thighs part and my hand disappears under her red dress. Her skin is so smooth.

I look up, seeing the anticipation on her face as I inch closer to her core. Her eyes are closed, teeth sinking into her lower lip, and her chest is rising and falling at a rapid pace. My fingers slide across her panties, softly feeling over the wet satin, and she lets out a little whimper. The sound sets me on fire, and the need blazes through my body. I shift forward and spread her wider. Hearing another soft moan as I slide my fingers right under her panties and rub through her folds, groaning at the feel of her slick skin, her hot little entrance which entices me closer. I tease around it, and a curse leaves my mouth.

"Fuck, you feel good, baby."

Her eyes open and she watches me closely as I get caught up in the heat. Massaging over her soft pussy. Running my fingers through the slit of her folds and up to her clit. I rub her swollen button in circles and watch as her body starts to get worked up. The tension of her desire is tightening up her features, locking her muscles up as she starts nearing her climax. I slide my fingers down and then slip them right inside, feeling her contract and pull me in deeper. My dick weeps in envy as I begin pumping in and out, pushing and pulling the pleasure from her body.

Her moans start growing loud and her hips start thrusting in the seat. One hand is braced on the door while the other is braced on my shoulder. I can see it coming in faster. She's so close I can feel her slicking up my hand, the sounds of her wet need growing louder by the second. Damn, it's the hottest thing I've ever seen. My dick starts drawing up, and I reach down and give myself a squeeze, needing some relief as the tension rises.

I pump into her faster, crooking my fingers up, and then she shatters. The orgasm plows through her. Her moans are breaking into the night air. Her body is trembling. And her sweet pussy is squeezing me so tight, my fingers are nearly locked in place. I've never felt anything like it. My attraction is growing stronger than I ever imagined. My need trying to burn me alive. I feel like my cock is about to break through my pants.

I reach between my legs, wanting to get myself into a more comfortable position, but as soon I touch myself, my cock erupts. The orgasm tears through me like a violent attack. I smash my lips to hers as I get hit with blasts of pleasure. Her little mouth swallowing my groans as the shocks pulse between my legs. When my body finally settles, I pull back, drawing in the air that's been deprived during the storm.

I open my eyes and find her looking like she's mesmerized by me. When her cheeks tip up into a smile, my chest tightens. This girl has completely torn down my defenses and obliterated all my assumptions about her. She's nothing like the girl I knew back home. She's something truly special.

"So, does that smile mean you'll go out with me tomorrow night?" I ask, sounding gruff to my own ears.

Her cheeks split wider, and my heart beats faster. This girl has already done a number on me, and we haven't even gone on a date yet.

"Yes, I'll go out with you."

And that makes my pulse race. Only problem now is figuring out how to keep my relationship a secret from Hunter. If he finds out I'm dating her, he'll kick me out of the fraternity. It's obvious from the way he was looking at her tonight, she's the one he's not going to let get away. But Sienna is mine.