Chapter 12

12

I clenched my jaw so hard I thought a tooth might crack as we stopped again to camp with a fucking escort of Crystal Fae. They said nothing to us, but forced themselves in a ring around our tents, ensuring that we couldn’t escape into the night. The dark beast that raged in my chest begged to be released, to kill them all and satiate my anger with their blood pooling at my feet.

The crashing of the waterfalls in the distance did nothing to suppress the cacophony of my thoughts, and it took every ounce of my willpower to quiet the binding magic that nearly consumed the tendrils of moonlight in my chest. Viktor and Endre were grim faced as they sat with me near the fire. The changing of seasons brought with it cooler nights that beckoned all closer to the warmth.

Fucking Fates, a year ago we’d been preparing to launch our air assault on Vasvain, the highest peak in északi, to rescue Izidora, and on this night I was surrounded by idiots who didn’t understand what I needed to do. Picking up a stick and working it through my fingers, I tried to give my hand something to do other than strangle the Crystal Fae around us.

They would fucking pay.

“So, Elo,” I had learned the leader of the regiment’s name at least, “how much longer until you drop us off in the Day Realm?”

The male shot me a nasty side eye, then continued stirring the pot over the fire.

“Not soon enough,” another Crystal Fae muttered in the background, intentionally loud enough for his words to drift into our ears.

Elo looked between the two of us before responding. “Only a few more days if we keep up the pace. Which I would very much like to do.”

“Tired of us already?” I mocked, not a hint of real teasing in my tone.

“Kazimir,” Endre warned under his breath, but I silenced him with a wave of my hand.

“You should be thrilled to escort another monarch. It is a great honor, after all.” I continued to goad him, wanting to get the rise I very much needed as an excuse to unleash the binding magic.

But like every night, he didn’t deign to respond to my prodding, merely filling bowls and passing them around the camp. Groups of Crystal Fae clustered together and enjoyed their meal, reminding me far too much of traveling with the Nighthounds. The thought of our group brought another wave of grief, and like every time, I suppressed the need to confront the loss of my father, Kriztof, and the twins. I didn’t have the time to deal with the heaviness of that day. I couldn’t save them, I couldn’t stop Ruslan from taking my mate, and my all around failure had caused me to lose everything – even if I’d gained a crown in the process.

Where were you, Fates?

They’d gifted me with the magic I thought would get me back everything I wanted, and yet I sat beneath the stars again instead of ruling the Night Realm alongside Izidora. A crazed smile tried to break my face, but I clamped down on it lest anyone see the madness entombed with all my other dark secrets – like the obsession I had carried since before we ever found Izidora. I couldn’t let it go even after she broke our mating bond. My soul felt tattered and burned in a way that wasn’t reparable.

Was I upset with myself for trying to kill her? At first maybe, but not anymore. The moment she shattered our bond, I felt like a knife had dug into my chest and carved out a piece of me. The pain, the fucking blinding anguish that made me feel like I was about to die, forced me to lash out. Sure, Ruslan had been there too, but I didn’t want him to have her. He didn’t deserve her. She was mine – to save, to have, to covet. His mongrel blood made him even less worthy of her.

The longer we rode toward the Day Realm and the other monarchs, the more I thought that maybe I was entitled to making them feel the depths of the pain they’d caused me too.

Tossing the broken stick into the dirt, I stalked toward the sparse trees that dotted the foothills. A rushing waterfall waited just beyond our encampment. As I suspected, several Crystal Fae scrambled to their feet and chased after me. I ignored them, striding straight toward the shallow pool formed by years of relentless beating from the glacial melt. Kicking off my boots, I entered the water, the ice cold biting into my bare skin as I waded deeper. Stripping off my leather armor piece by piece, I tossed them into the grass, shooting a teasing grin over my shoulder at the soldiers who followed me.

“Hope you don’t mind my nudity,” I commented, stripping off my half-soaked pants and mostly dry tunic until I was naked in the knee-deep water. The waterfall was almost like a makeshift shower, so I stood beneath it, letting the icy spray wash away weeks of grime as I faced them.

“Oh don’t be shy, come on in,” I purred at the waiting group, who shifted from foot to foot, but didn’t take their eyes off me for a second. “Suit yourself.” I shrugged, tipping my head back and wetting my hair. The pressure of the water was a little too much for my taste on top of it being freezing fucking cold, but the absolutely uncomfortable expressions the Crystal Fae wore were worth every biting drop.

When I reopened my eyes, Endre and Viktor both stood on the edges of the shore, looking between me and my guards. Viktor then looked to Endre and shrugged, shucking off his clothes and wading in to join me.

“See, we could have quite a lot of fun if you loosened up a bit,” I called out to them, but they remained stoic as ever.

Endre pressed his lips together and looked away from Viktor and me before running a hand through his hair and stripping off his armor.

“Fucking Fates it’s cold,” Viktor griped, joining me beneath the falls and scrubbing dirt off himself in a hurry. I could barely hear him over the rushing in my ears, which meant if we spoke softly we might have a few private words.

I waited for Endre to join us before I turned my back to the Crystal Fae and dropped my tone. “We need to ditch our escort. Any thoughts?”

Viktor responded first. “That’s all I’ve been thinking about since they picked us up, but I don’t see a way out of it.”

Endre interrupted him. “You wanted to visit the Day Realm for the new princess’s announcement, so we might have to play nice for the moment.”

I scoffed, annoyed that the greatest strategist in the Night Realm had nothing better than ‘I don’t know’ to offer up and that my sensitive friend felt the need to remind me of the purpose of this trek.

Gritting my teeth as I scrubbed my skin with some moss I’d found growing nearby, I replied, “Fine. We’ll tolerate them.”

Viktor and Endre both dipped out of the icy falls before I did. The freezing water cooled me off in a way I so desperately needed if I was going to keep my shit together for the foreseeable future. Finally shoving off the slippery rock, I waded back through the pool toward the Crystal Fae who stood in matching arms-crossed, stone-faced stances. As I walked – fully nude – to the line of tethered horses, I grinned at the males following me, ensuring they each got a nice good look at the crown jewels. From my bag, I grabbed decently fresh clothes, then winked and pulled them on. Rather than lose the semblance of inner peace I’d found, I disappeared into my tent for the rest of the night, trying to pretend the Crystal Fae weren’t feet away and ready to run me through.

I didn’t even think of Taya as I drifted off to sleep beneath a layer of warm blankets.