Chapter 8

EIGHT

Even though Linus's pain level was still about a seven on the zero-to-ten chart, he didn't ring the nurse and ask for anything extra. He'd turned down Dr. Westin's offer of a morphine pump because that shit made him loopy as hell, and even though part of Linus wouldn't mind sleeping through the next, oh, year or so of his life? He wasn't going to drug himself out of his problems.

The neuro tests he did with Dr. Westin were annoying, but the doc seemed impressed with his ability to remember words, follow a pen, and do a few other things while not actually moving around too much. Linus kind of wanted to test sitting up completely, but Dr. Westin assured him a physical therapist would see him in the morning to begin that process.

Joy.

Dr. Westin had also reassured him that temporary loss of one of his senses was not unusual after a concussion, and hopefully with time, his senses of smell and taste would return to normal. Linus really hoped so. Not just so he could enjoy food the way he always had but so that one day he'd be able to properly scent and know his bondmate.

Maybe. What young, virile omega would want a broken alpha? None of them. Good thing this accident happened before he found his bondmate, or he'd have burdened someone with caring for an invalid who probably couldn't smell it if his own hair was on fire.

Except Miko's scent…he swore he'd scented his friend and it wasn't just a memory. But he hadn't seen Miko since this afternoon's sob-fest. His parents, on the other hand, sat with him for another two hours before someone from Transportation arrived to take Linus to a private room in an observation ward. He wasn't sure if private was standard in that ward, or if his parents had pulled strings, but it annoyed him. He genuinely wouldn't have minded a roommate, a stranger to talk to who had no emotional investment in his wellbeing or recovery.

Oh well.

Since visiting hours were almost over, his parents said goodbye in ICU and promised to see him promptly at ten tomorrow when regular visitation began. He wanted to tell them not to hover, that he could use some alone time, but whenever Papa looked at him with those big, wrecked eyes, Linus couldn't do it.

The orderly moving his bed nattered on about a concert he'd attended at a park in Aurora Crest two weekends ago, and Linus appreciated the normal, banal chatter. He wasn't a fan of that type of music but it was better than silence. The strings quartet was apparently popular up in Ampshire Province and had been traveling for a few months, trying to get their name out there. When he asked the orderly the group's name and the orderly couldn't remember, Linus had laughed hard enough to make his stump shriek.

Stump. He hated that word, but that's what was left of his right leg. Dr. Westin said he had the full, working kneecap, and about two inches of bone and flesh below that. Linus couldn't bring himself to lift the blanket and look at it. The lump beside his left knee was hard enough to stomach.

"Home, sweet temporary home," his orderly said as he turned the bed around so he could push Linus inside his room head first. "And you've got a welcoming committee."

Half-afraid his parents had somehow sneaked up to the seventh floor, Linus relaxed when the visitor in question was a smiling family friend.

"Hey, man," Gaven Freel said as he helped the orderly position the bed correctly between IV stands and all manner of potential hookups and wires. "Surprise."

"Are you actually my nurse, or are you just harassing me," Linus asked. "Nice scrubs."

Gaven struck a dramatic pose, then finished pushing buttons on one of the monitors. "The charge nurse on this floor prefers his staff wear purple in solidarity, so I do my part. And yes, I'm actually your nurse tonight until shift change tomorrow at eight."

"Fantastic." He waved goodbye to the departing orderly. "I love my family, but I am so glad to be alone for a little while."

"Feeling smothered?"

"Fuck yes. They're worried but it's fucking hard to be around them when they're the ones who did this to me." He gestured at his stump. "I don't have any room to breathe."

"I completely understand, and as soon as I do my obs check, I'll leave you alone. I'm not here to make life any harder than it is, Linus. Just to make sure you're comfortable and to get you anything you need."

"I'd love a taco platter and blended margarita from Petrova's." Too bad I can't fucking smell or taste any of it.

Gaven chuckled. "You're still on a post-coma, full liquid diet, my friend. Best I can do is scare up a vanilla milkshake."

"I'll take it. Where's the phone?" He was handed a white phone/call button/bed control combo on a cord that snaked out of sight. "Thanks."

"No problem. To dial out, just press star-nine, and then the number."

"Great." He tried to think of Miko's mobile number but blanked out. He only had a handful of them memorized. "Hey, where's my mobile? Did I lose it in the accident?"

"I'm not sure. Want me to call your parents and ask?"

"No, not them. Do you, um, have Miko Tovey's number?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've got everyone's number, even Tynan and Gaige. I'd probably have numbers for Asher and Caleb, too, if they weren't toddlers and at least a decade removed from phones of their own."

"Let's hope." Gaven's easy banter and fond smile soothed Linus's frayed nerves like no one had since Miko held his hand. "Thank you, Gaven. It's nice being talked to like I'm a person and not some fragile child who's going to shatter any second."

"They act that way because they love you."

"I know they do, and I'm grateful, but man…I'm not okay, and I can't talk to them about it yet."

"But you can talk to Miko?"

"Yeah."

"Cool." Gaven found a small notepad and pencil in the drawer of a rolling table, pulled out his mobile, and scribbled down a phone number. "Here. Now, let me listen to your heart, take your blood pressure, and then you can talk to your friend. Just don't stay up too late. You really do need to get as much sleep as you can, which I know is difficult in a hospital, but do your best."

"I will, thanks."

After they went through the motions of Gaven checking his vitals, he fluffed Linus's pillow, adjusted the one under his stump, and then left, leaving the big door open a crack. Linus picked up the paper and punched the numbers into the receiver. It didn't do anything, and then he remembered he had to dial star-nine first.

Dumbass.

The second attempt worked and the other line began ringing. And ringing. His hope dimmed, and he resigned to leaving a message.

"Um, Miko Tovey's phone," a light, somewhat familiar voice said.

Linus blinked at the far wall. "Who's this?"

"It's Symon Lee. Who's calling?"

"Symon? It's Linus." Why on earth was Symon answering Miko's phone? Symon was a young beta who worked at Perks as a baker, so Miko obviously knew him. He also lived with fellow betas Morgyn Danvers and Jaxson Jenks, sharing a small house in Littleton. The trio had been tight for a few years, ever since Jaxson's omega brother Karson Jenks Lee mated Symon's older, alpha brother Rebel. "Where's Miko?"

"Hey, Linus, wow, you sound great after everything that's happened. Um, Miko's here, he's just a little riled up. Jaxson said it looked like a hospital number calling and told me to answer the phone."

Too many questions began ricocheting through Linus's brain. "Dude, where is ‘here' right now, and why is he riled up?"

"I—hold on. Here, take it."

Shuffling noises made Linus flinch, and then, "Linus? It's Morgyn. How are you feeling, brother?"

"Like I got hit by a car. Is Miko at your house? What the hell is going on?" He couldn't explain this desperate, bone-deep need to know exactly what was happening with Miko. Miko was obviously still upset, and Linus hated not being able to fix it.

"Yes, Miko is here. He got into a fight with his parents and took the bus here, and when he got off, he got into another fight, and he's coming down off the adrenaline. I've never seen him this wound up before. Jaxson is trying to ply him with tequila shots."

"Don't give him tequila, you jackass! That'll just make him madder. Don't you remember that off-campus party last year? Miko got drunk and almost got into a brawl with a beta who tried to say shit about Mikel's past."

"Oh yeah. Jaxson! Cease and desist."

Linus rolled his eyes, and if he'd been able-bodied, he'd have been out of this damned bed and on his way to Beta House, as their friend group had nicknamed it. "Do you have any herbal tea? That should calm Miko down."

"Yeah, okay. Um, here's Symon again."

The phone jostled a second time. "Hi, it's Symon. Morgyn keeps saying not to call Miko's parents, or not even to call Emory, because we can handle it. Has Miko ever punched someone before?"

"He what?" Linus sat up, and agony screamed through his pelvis and into his right thigh. He yelped and tried to relax his body, but his brain was racing with confusion and concern. "Who did he punch?"

"Some guy who gave him shit at the bus stop. It's like, half a block from our place, and he'd texted ahead to Morgyn that he was coming over, so we heard the shouting and ran down there."

Linus growled. "Someone was hassling Miko?"

"Yeah, some kid alpha, probably not older than fifteen with more bravado than brains. I didn't get the whole story, but I guess he said something that pissed Miko off enough to lay the guy out with one well-placed punch. Did you teach him self-defense?"

"No, I think his sire did us that favor." While he abhorred the idea of Miko getting into any kind of physical altercation, he was beyond proud of Miko for defending himself. Then his brain skipped back to what else Morgyn had said. "Why did Miko fight with his parents?"

"We don't know. He won't give us any details, he just keeps cussing and pacing, and I obviously haven't known Miko as long as you guys, but I've never seen him this upset. Not even back when Peyton wasn't himself."

"I'm pretty sure he kept a lot inside when Peyton was sick, but yeah, this is not like Miko at all. Can you see if he'll talk to me? Please?"

"Of course. Are you sure you feel up to getting into this?"

"Definitely. I need the distraction, and I'd really like to hear Miko's voice."

"Okay, one sec."

Muffled voices spoke on the other end for close to a full minute, and Linus was pretty sure at least one chair scraped across the kitchen floor. The Beta House wasn't very big but they'd hosted quite a few game nights over the last couple of years, and Linus knew the interior. Morgyn's bedroom was downstairs with the living room and eat-in kitchen, and the other two were upstairs.

"Linus? Is that you?" Miko's sweet voice, growly with anger and irritation, soothed a bit of Linus's own upset.

"Yeah, it's me. What is going on? You fought with your parents and then punched someone?"

"It's been a busy night. Hey, Jaxson, can I take this in your room? Please? Cool, thanks. One sec, Linus."

"No problem."

Miko's heavy breathing kept him company until Linus heard the distinct sound of a door shutting. "Okay, I've got privacy. I know I just saw you a few hours ago, but how are you? Did you get your private room?"

"I did, maybe ten minutes ago. Room seven-fifty-four. And you'll never guess who's my nurse tonight."

Miko laughed, and the sound made Linus smile. "Well, we only have one practicing nurse in our extended family, so I'm going to guess Gaven?"

"Correct. It was nice seeing someone I know who isn't related to me. He also gave me your number, because I didn't think to ask my parents before they left. I guess my phone got lost in the accident, and I have, like, no one's number memorized. That's pretty bad, huh?"

"Most of us are like that. And I'm glad Gaven is your nurse. Doesn't that make you his first official patient in our friend group?"

"It does. I should get a special sticker for this."

Miko laughed. "I'll draw you one. I'm really glad you called. I wish I could have seen you again before I left, but it was late and your parents basically ordered everyone to go home and rest. I already made you sob out three gallons of tears today, so I didn't want to press my luck by asking to say goodnight."

"You didn't make me cry." Linus really wanted to get up and pace, to channel his nervous energy somewhere, but that wasn't happening for a long time. So he settled for plucking at the edge of his blanket. "You gave me a safe place to feel what I was already feeling. I'm still furious and want to cry until I throw up, but I feel better hearing your voice. You always made me feel better when you were around."

"Hey, no past tense. I'll be around for a long time, I promise. I'm not going anywhere, Linus."

"I know, I didn't mean to sound like I was saying goodbye. It's just hard to think further into the future than…I don't even know, my breakfast tray? Or if Gaven will remember to bring me a vanilla milkshake tonight."

"You don't have to think past your next meal. No one expects you to have anything figured out. There's so much to think about, and we're all going at your pace."

"What if my pace wants you back with me tonight?" Linus flinched at how corny that sounded and prepared to be laughed at. He had no explanation for his need to be close to Miko, and he didn't want one. Sometimes the why didn't matter.

Miko made a soft, snuffling sound. "I'd say I wish I was back there too, but I don't want hospital security to ban me when you've been awake for less than twelve hours."

"Good point. And since we can't be in the same place, can we talk for a while?"

"Definitely. Um…what about? My brain is a big blank."

"Tell me about the fight with your parents?"

"You don't want to hear about my problems."

Linus grunted. "Don't tell me what I want to hear. I'd love to hear about anything that isn't specifically about me, my leg, my head, or this hospital. I want to hear about anything specific to you. Please m—please." He'd nearly tacked "my omega" onto that please, but Miko wasn't his omega. He was his best omega friend . Nothing more.

Right?

"It wasn't a fair fight, but I finally said some stuff I've been feeling for a long time. After everything this past week, I couldn't hold it in anymore, and I kind of blindsided them. And then it hurt even more that they were so surprised by it, and I needed to get some space so I came here."

Linus didn't have to reach very far back into their lifelong friendship to guess what Miko had laid on his folks tonight. "You told them how much you resent Peyton sometimes?"

Miko sputtered. "How the hell, dude?"

"As much as I'd love to praise my own deductive reasoning skills, you told me about it once."

"I did? When?"

"Remember when we were sixteen and stole that bottle of schnapps from my dad's liquor cabinet, because we wanted to find out the big deal about being drunk?"

"I mean, I remember us starting to drink that shit, but not much after. Why?"

Linus flushed at bringing this up so many years later but what was the point in hiding it? Secrets always came out. "You got hammered way faster than I did, because you didn't eat as much of the pizza we made, and when you're drunk you tend to babble about whatever happens to be bothering you at the moment." Sweet alcohol like wine and schnapps made Miko maudlin and chatty; tequila was the only thing that (so far) seemed to make him ragey.

"Okay, yeah, I do that."

"Well, we did our little schnapps experiment right before Peyton and Layne got over themselves and became close friends again. You thought them growing apart was stupid, because alphas and omegas could stay friends without it being weird, like you and me were always friends."

"I definitely remember feeling that way and I still do. Look at what happened! They ended up secretly dating, fell in love, and had a kid. Being non-friends for most of secondary school was so stupid and a waste of time."

"A waste of what little time Peyton had left, is what you actually said that night. And then you took another drink and went on a bit of a ramble about your parents treating Peyton like glass the week prior because he had the sniffles, but if you were to come home hungover, reeking of vomit, and about to pass out, they'd barely blink at you."

Miko had been incredibly vivid in his language that night, pulling out a lot more angry cuss words than Linus was used to hearing from him. Linus had been able to relate a little bit to Miko's frustration and resentment. At the time, he'd had three incredibly successful beta brothers to hold up as the gold standard of achievement; Layne was always in the top of his class in secondary; and the only thing Linus had been good at was playing soccer.

Bitterness swamped him and left a sour sensation in his mouth. Fortunately, Gaven proved himself a master of timing, because he walked in with a foam cup and straw, winked at Linus, and left the gifts on his rolling table.

After a minute or so of silence, Miko grunted. "So you've known all this time?"

"I knew how you felt back then. I guess, since you never brought it up again when you were sober, maybe you stopped feeling that way, especially after Peyton was cured."

"I think the feelings got worse when he got better."

Linus missed the cup's lid and stabbed his upper thigh with the straw. "Really?"

"I'm not mad Peyton got better or anything, the exact opposite, honest. I love him to pieces, and I'm so thankful Dr. D found a cure for Donal Syndrome. For Peyton and everyone else who has it. It's just…he wasn't the sick brother anymore. Now he's the miracle brother. A miracle brother with a mate, a kid, a job, and who's talking about another kid. And again, not knocking my nephew or any future nephews I'll get, but…"

"It's hard to feel like you measure up?"

"Exactly. Especially when I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Sometimes university feels like a waste of time when my options for a major are limited anyway, because I'm an omega. I'll probably end up working at Perks for the rest of my life."

Linus really wanted to be in the same room as Miko, not only to see his omega's face, but so he could hug him. Make them both feel better about being the youngest child who didn't measure up to the elder siblings. Linus often wondered if Dad was disappointed that he, as the only alpha son, had chosen not to pursue a career with the Constabulary. Both his parents had always told him to find a career that would make him happy, not one that would make his parents happy, but it was hard not to doubt. Papa had never worked, but Dad had been so proud of making it all the way to Chief Constable before he retired.

Even if Linus had been willing to make the decision to quit university and take the Constabulary entrance exam, he'd never manage the physical requirements with a prosthetic leg. He couldn't be a Constable if he wanted to be, and their family didn't have any other legacy for him to aspire to.

What can I aspire to be now?

"Linus?"

He fumbled the phone. "Sorry, I got lost in thought." But the slight derailment gave him a new perspective on their conversation. "Have you ever talked to your parents about Perks? I bet they'll want to retire at some point. Would you want to run it like they do?"

"I…don't know? I mean, I love Perks. I basically grew up there, and it's hard to imagine anyone but my parents running it."

"Not even you or Peyton?"

"Not really. Peyton definitely has the skills to run the business if he chooses to, what with all the retail management work he's done these last few years. But our parents have always said they don't expect us to run the family business and that we should do what makes us happy."

"It sounds like our folks all read the same parenting handbook."

"Huh?"

"Never mind." Linus sipped his melting milkshake. The vanilla taste was there but extremely faint and the texture was chalky, so he shoved the cup away. "But what about you running Perks? Balancing the books and managing the staff?"

"I don't know how to do any of that, and the university doesn't offer business courses to omegas."

"Your omegin didn't know how to do any of it when he inherited the place. He learned on the job, and probably with some help from library books."

Perks had been founded and previously owned by a widowed alpha named Mateo Farnsworth, and it had been a favorite meeting spot for their omegins before and after Linus was born. Mateo became very fond of their small group, Brogan and Peyton in particular, and when he passed away, he left Perks to Brogan and Mikel. The pair had been stunned by the gift, but had quickly put their heads together to figure out how to run a small coffee shop/bakery. And now Linus couldn't imagine anyone else owning it.

"Miko?" Linus said when his friend didn't respond.

"I'm just thinking. I guess I never really thought hard about taking over Perks, because I can't imagine my parents not being around. I don't want to imagine them having to retire or sell the place because they can't manage it anymore."

"I know it's hard to consider the future, but this isn't just about your parents. It's about what you want to do going forward. Would you want to run Perks?" Would you want a leg-less alpha mate to help you run it one day?

After a long moment of raspy breathing, Miko said, "Can I get back to you on that? I'm not saying no, but like I said, I haven't given it a lot of thought. And it's already been a long, stressful day."

"I get it. You'll be able to think better after some sleep?"

"I hope so. I guess part of me, too, has just assumed they'd give the shop to Peyton, because he's the oldest and alpha."

"You know your parents better than that. And if you aren't sure, talk to them. I bet you a neck and shoulder massage that they've already got both you and Peyton in their will as inheriting joint control of Perks if anything happens to them."

"A massage, huh?" He could hear the smile in Miko's voice. "Deal. But I'm not going to ask them right away. We all need time after the car accident, you know? I bet they were stupid-worried about us both, and I don't want them to think I've got death on the brain. Especially after our fight."

"Totally understandable. So you vented to them about feeling like the forgotten child?"

"Pretty much, yeah. Omi said he hated seeing how torn up I was about, um, your accident, and that I always seemed so stable and well-adjusted, so he never really worried about me, and I just blew up on him. Accused him of not having any energy left to worry about me because he spent it all on Peyton."

"Do you still feel that way?"

"Yes. I do feel bad for how I yelled at them but it is how I feel. I can't turn that off."

"And you shouldn't have to. It kind of sounds like you and your parents need to sit down and have a really serious conversation about this, maybe with a neutral party present."

"Like a family counselor?"

"Maybe. Or ask Tarius. He knows how to mediate and be fair."

"True. I'll think about it."

"I'm glad. Now what about punching a teenage alpha?"

Miko blew out a loud breath. "I'm not sure if I'm proud or mortified, and it wasn't much of a thing. The bus wasn't very crowded, and he decided he needed to be in my space, I guess because of my scent change, I don't know. I tried to ignore him but I was already pissed about the fight with my parents, so when he followed me off the bus and walked so close he practically stepped on my heels, I lost it. I stopped, let him run into me from behind, turned around, and decked him."

"Damn, dude." Linus was furious on Miko's behalf, but his insides vibrated with pride over Miko's actions. He hadn't allowed himself to be bullied by a teenage idiot. "Did you knock him down?"

"I did. He was so stunned he just stared at me, so I walked away." He let out a sound that wasn't quite a squeak. "Now that I'm half-an-hour past it, I'm lucky he didn't call a constable on me. I did kind of punch him unprovoked."

"Maybe, maybe not. His pride probably wouldn't let him admit he got sucker-punched by an omega."

Miko chuckled. "Probably. Thank you, Linus, for listening to all this. I'd planned on venting some of it to Morgyn, but I'm really glad we talked."

"You're welcome. I actually feel a lot better, too, after talking to you. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, and I'm scared to death." He hated how his voice cracked, but he also knew Miko wouldn't chide him for it.

"You're allowed to be scared. We're all scared, Linus, but it's our fear and love that make us stronger, because we'll fight for each other. I'll fight for you. You will walk again. I promise, my al—friend."

The slight word stumble was endearing as hell, and part of Linus wished Miko had called him his alpha, the way Linus thought of Miko as his omega. There was something to these new feelings, something he couldn't put his finger on. He was too tired and stressed and angry and terrified of the next days, weeks and months. But Miko was right. They would fight for each other. Linus had dozens of people in his corner, rooting for him to walk again.

And Linus planned to walk again one day. It wouldn't be with two real feet or two real calves, but by goddess he would walk.

There was no other choice.