Chapter 3

THREE

"The doctors are going to taper off the sedatives today," Tarius Higgs said. "Hopefully, Linus will wake up in the next few hours."

Miko's heart swelled with gratitude, and he clutched Dad's hand tight. They'd been on waiting duty outside ICU, along with Tarius, while Liam and Isa met with Linus's specialists about the induced coma. Tarius had just finished reading a text and announced it to them. "Goddess, I hope he wakes up," Miko said. "It's been so long."

Ever since his heat ended two days ago, Miko had spent as much time as possible at the hospital. Even though he was legally related through Peyton and Layne's mating, the medical team still wanted to keep visitors to immediate family—basically, his parents and siblings. Miko had been irrationally furious about being kept away from his friend, but he'd tried to keep it to himself. He had no way of explaining the feelings beyond a deep-seated need to make Linus feel better any way he could.

He still hadn't lost that strange sense of Linus being his, and he didn't understand it. He'd never been this possessive over Linus before, or over any of his alpha friends. Unfortunately, he still didn't remember much beyond leaving the party and waking up in the hospital, his heat over. His parents had only filled in a few blanks that he didn't remember, such as Linus calling them to promise they were in a taxi and that he'd get Miko home safely.

The details of the party were a little fuzzy, thanks to both the alcohol he'd consumed, and the trauma of both the accident and his heat. He did recall being alone with Linus, that they'd gotten really close to each other, but not what they'd talked about that had led them to such a thing. Miko absolutely appreciated how adorable Linus was with his lean, athletic body, but he'd never been romantically interested in Linus.

And yet, he'd spent the better part of the last two days knowing Linus was too far away, that he was hurting and needed Miko by his side. The obvious reason was staring him in the face whenever he saw any of his mated friends, and it terrified him, so he kept quiet. Omi suspected something was bothering him beyond Linus's condition, but he didn't press. He just made sure Miko got notes for the classes he was missing and did his assignments, so he didn't fall behind when he returned to university next week, all while making sure the café ran smoothly.

Omi had to be at Perks this morning, so Dad had come to sit with Miko for a little while. He's also brought over a dozen freshly-baked sugar cookies for everyone to share. Miko had eaten one cookie to please Dad, who'd been on him to eat more ever since his heat ended. He'd lost three pounds during his heat, which had worried his obstetrician, but Miko had also been sedated and sustained mostly on IV fluids and supplemental shakes. He'd put the weight back on when he wasn't such an anxiety ball.

All that mattered right now was Linus waking up, remembering who everyone was, and not having any bad long- term effects from the concussion. Miko had already gone through his big brother Peyton having temporary memory loss thanks to a coma. He wasn't sure how to manage a repeat of that heartache.

I'll get Linus through this.

"I just want to hear my baby brother laugh," Tarius said. "Linus has the best laugh, right? Just…you can't be in a bad mood when he's laughing."

"That's true," Miko replied. His mind filled with thousands of peals of laughter, all of them infectious and joyful. "He does have the best laugh." The kindest smile, the warmest hugs, the most unique sense of humor… This is not me. Is it?

"Miko?" Dad asked. "Are you all right? You went away."

"Sorry, I keep getting lost in thought. Just remembering all the good times with Linus and waiting for all the new ones."

"That's a healthy perspective, son."

"Can you share some of that optimism with Demir?" Tarius asked. "I haven't seen him this withdrawn since Layne got pissed at him during Peyton's treatment."

"He can't possibly blame himself for this. It was a car accident," Miko said. An accident that wouldn't have happened if Miko had stayed home from the party, or if he'd insisted he could get home without help. Linus would be safe and whole, instead of unconscious and broken.

Tarius sipped his paper cup of coffee. "Of course, it was an accident, but you know Demir. He takes it personally if Layne or Linus get so much as a paper cut and always has. All of us missed how depressed Layne was after Caleb was born. And now Demir's got another problem he can't fix; he can only offer a few consultations. But he's not an orthopedist or a neurologist."

"Is Demir coming by today?"

"I'm not sure. He's kind of thrown himself into work this week. If he can't fix his brother, he can try to fix a stranger's brother. Or father or cousin. He's been determined to heal the world since he was fifteen."

"Well, if Linus is going to wake up today, Demir can take a few hours off." Miko didn't realize how sharply he'd spoken until he noticed Dad staring at him with a raised eyebrow. "What? It's true. I know there isn't a lot he can actually do, but he could be in the room with Liam and Isa."

Being a doctor, even if not specifically Linus's doctor, got Demir access to the ICU without being buzzed in by a nurse. He'd done it several times since the accident, and each time he'd completely bypassed the waiting room. Miko was trying not to take it personally but…well, he was taking it personally. Especially after how hands-on Demir had been with Peyton's illness. Now he couldn't be around for his own brother?

I'm being unfair and I don't give a damn. Not while my mate is—wait. No.

Miko rubbed both hands across his face and dug into his eyes until he saw those amoeba-like splotches behind his lids. He hated being so confused and angry, and he hadn't felt this way since Peyton forgot his entire life, Miko included. He hadn't let anyone see how angry and scared he was back then, not even his best friends. Definitely not his parents, who already had one son to worry about.

"Hey." Tarius squeezed his shoulder but Miko didn't look up. "I know you're upset and worried, but I promise you that Demir is doing his best."

Miko glared at him through the spots in his vision. "To do what? Invent artificially regenerating limbs?"

Tarius took a step back, his hand falling away, expression pained. Guilt tickled at the back of his mind, but Miko didn't retract the words. It was how he felt , damn it. Too fucking much had happened in the last three years, and he was so sick of keeping everything inside.

"How about we take a quick walk?" Dad asked him. "Just to burn off some energy."

"Yeah, fine." Linus probably wouldn't wake up for hours, and Miko wasn't interested in studying for an upcoming geometry test anyway. Winter Solstice break was in about a month, and he really didn't care if he did well on his finals.

He followed Dad down a long, boring corridor that looked like every other corridor in the hospital. The only real differences were the locations on the signs and the directions of the arrows. The artwork and the artificial plants seemed painfully identical, even though it wasn't the exact same forest scene each time. But the rest? Same tiles, same paint, same trim, same faux-wood doors. They passed a long bank of windows that overlooked one of the campus's many gardens. A few evergreens still held color, while the rest of the trees and foliage were dry and brown for the winter months.

Depressing.

Dad stopped in front of a vending machine and studied the contents. Miko stared at the floor, impatient with Dad's indecision, until he blurted out, "We have snacks back in the waiting room."

"Yes, we do." Dad swiped his credit card and hit two buttons. "But we don't have pretzels, and I am feeling the need for something salty after those cookies. Want a bag?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

"I didn't ask if you were hungry, son. You're never hungry, but you still need to eat." He hit the buttons again, then retrieved two bags of twists from the machine's slot. Held one out to Miko. "Take them."

Miko swiped the bag with a huff. "Fine."

"You know, you weren't this belligerent and short-tempered during puberty. I never thought heat would bring your teenage angst out at twenty."

"It's not your best friend who's in a coma!"

Dad's even expression barely shifted. "No, it's not. But my other son was in a coma. I've seen my friends and their kids struggle so much these last couple years, and I have done my very best to support them without losing my temper, which is not easy for me. When I was your age, I was a writhing ball of rage until I finally got help, and then I met your omegin. And I know what Linus is going through is awful. But I've never seen you as angry as you've been these last few days. Maybe you need a break from the hospital."

"I can't leave Linus."

"Why not? Take a day off. His family is?—"

"Because I think he's my bondmate!" The shout echoed down the long, mostly empty corridor, and Miko flinched at both what he'd said and how he'd said it. He'd never yelled at his sire before, and even Dad was gaping at him, lips forming a perfect o-shape.

Without a word, Dad gently took his elbow and led Miko down the corridor—not in the direction of ICU—to a small seating area with a picture window. No one else was there, so Miko didn't protest Dad guiding him to sit. Dad took the chair next to him and angled his body toward Miko.

"Okay, that was a pretty huge statement," Dad said in his best I'm being calm about this, but you need to answer my questions now tone. "Why do you think Linus is your bondmate?"

Miko studied his cuticles for several long seconds while he breathed, hating the way his stomach was rolling. "Because of what almost happened at the party that night."

"Which was?"

The memory was just out of reach, teasing him...wait. "We almost kissed." That was it. He'd finally said it out loud, and it was as if a switch had been flipped. Fuzzy details began to take more distinct shapes. "And it wasn't just, like, two half-drunk guys making out because we were horny or whatever. We were dancing together for a while, and I just…started feeling things. This connection to him, a possessiveness that I've never felt before. I didn't want anyone else to dance with him, and he had this look on his face like he felt the same way."

He squinted at the floor as a few previously fuzzy memories coalesced into actual shapes. "Another guy tried to grind on me from behind, and Linus looked like he wanted to go nuclear on him, so we went upstairs to a private room. I know now I was on edge and horny because of the heat symptoms, but at the time it wasn't that, it was Linus. I wanted him and no one else, not a single other guy at that party. I asked him to kiss me, and he almost did, but he caught on that I was going into heat before I did, and he stopped."

Dad's pensive stare softened into something sympathetic. "Thank goddess Linus was thinking clearly and stopped. I know you two are good friends, but it would have been pretty regrettable if your first time happened because of the throes of heat and hormones, and not because you made a conscious choice to share yourselves with each other."

Miko blinked at Dad's calm assessment of the situation. "Yeah. I'm glad Linus stopped us, but the heat's over and my feelings toward him haven't gone away. I've got this intense need to be by his side, to hold his hand and talk to him, and to fight this thing that's hurting him even though it's not an enemy I can fight."

"I remember feeling that way when I first met Brogan. We felt the bond but were taking things slow because of my mental health struggles. And then he found out about Peyton's Donal Syndrome diagnosis, and he fell apart. He was emotionally shattered, and all I wanted to do was fight the demons hurting him, but I couldn't. All I could do was hold him and support him and promise to be there."

"That's what I want to do, too, Dad. Even if I can only see him for five minutes. And maybe if I see him, I can try and figure out these weird feelings. If it's really the mating bond I feel, or if it was just a by-product of being so close to Linus that night."

"Do you think your heat could have been triggered by Linus's proximity? Have you guys ever danced like that before as adults?"

"We haven't, but I don't think he triggered it. The more I think about last weekend, the more I'm pretty sure I started feeling light symptoms earlier in the day, but I was so worried about the soccer game that I blew it off as anxiety. Not heat."

Dad nodded slowly. "Okay, then I can completely understand why you're confused about your feelings for Linus. Do you want me to talk to Isa? Maybe they can sneak you in for five minutes? I know they don't consider extended in-laws immediate family, but this is a unique situation."

"Can you please ask him? Preferably before Linus wakes up."

"Why before?"

"Because he has enough to deal with recovering from the concussion and with his leg, and I don't want to put this on his plate, too. But it'll help me if I can try to answer this question for myself without putting it on him. Does that make sense?"

"It does, and it's very selfless of you to be thinking of his comfort ahead of your own. But if Isa asks, I need to be able to reassure him you won't?—"

"I won't put any pressure on Linus about mating during his recovery. I won't even say anything right away, I promise. If Isa and Liam decide I need to stay away for a while, I'll do that, too." It would suck and hurt and be the hardest thing ever if they really were bondmates, but he'd do anything to help Linus's recovery.

"Okay, thank you." Dad leaned in and wrapped him up in a comforting, familiar hug. Miko let his sire hold him and soaked in his love and support, hoping it would calm the storm in both his heart and his gut. He didn't know if he was doing the right thing, but he had to do some thing.

His future happiness might depend on it.

After forty minutes, two phone calls, and a lot of silent prayers, Miko was finally permitted to swap places with Isa Higgs for ten minutes to sit with Liam and Linus. The ICU intimidated the hell out of him, with its sparkling white surfaces, open cubicles, beeping machines, and the solemnity of all the nurses. Isa had told him where to go, but his hands still trembled as he walked to Linus's room.

Liam stood by the bedside, one arm stretched out, probably holding Linus's hand, but Miko couldn't look at his friend yet. He offered Liam the most supportive smile he could muster and said, "Thank you."

"I know what it's like to be unsure of your feelings," Liam replied, his already soft voice more hoarse than usual and barely crossing the ten feet between them. "And I think it would be amazing if both my boys were bondmates to both of Brogan's."

"No pressure." The lame joke fell flat.

Miko took a steadying breath and forced his head to turn. To actually look at the large bed holding his friend. The footboard was some kind of ivory plastic with lights and symbols on it. Farther up was the cream-colored blanket that covered Linus's legs—well, kind of. He didn't look at the empty space on the bed next to Linus's left calf. His brain couldn't process that completely yet, that a vital part of Linus was just…gone.

So he looked higher, past Linus's blanket-covered torso, and his bare, bruised arms and all the attached wires, to his neck. A bruise peeked out from beneath his gown and spread upward toward his chin. He hated those bruises, but he hated the ones on Linus's face more. One on his right temple, a smaller one on the right side of his chin, and his lips were dry and cracked. The sight of his friend—his alpha?—so vulnerable and hurt stirred a new, furious feeling deep inside Miko.

"They took him off the ventilator now that they're waking him up," Liam said. "Isa is going to bring back some lip balm."

He looked at Liam so he didn't have to keep seeing Linus's physical agony. "Has he shown any signs of waking up?"

"Not yet. Dr. Westin said it could take hours. You can come inside, Miko."

"I just…I don't know."

"It's okay to be scared." Liam put Linus's hand down and walked over. He reached out and clasped Miko's hand in such a paternal way that Miko nearly cried. "You're already family for so many reasons. Come closer and see if there's another reason we can add to the list."

"Are you sure? I can't imagine how stressed out you are right now. How scared."

"I am stressed and scared, but do you know what gives me extra hope? That my son will wake up from this and have a bondmate to help him through what comes next. And even if he doesn't, just you being here all this time, haunting the waiting room? I know he has an amazing, generous friend."

"He does. I promise. Even if I'm wrong about the mating bond, I'm not going anywhere. I love Linus. Your family is my family."

"I know. Come on." Liam gently pulled him forward, and Miko didn't fight him. He kept his gaze trained on Linus's face, not the empty space on the bed where the rest of his leg should be. He despised the bruises and the tubes, and somehow, despite the heavy odors of disinfectant and what he'd come to think of as "that damned hospital," he could scent Linus. That lovely sandalwood scent wrapped around his heart and gave it a warm hug, and Miko gasped.

"I know it's hard seeing him like this," Liam said, misunderstanding the gasp. "I just keep remembering his face the night they won. Smiling and cheerful and so full of life. Dreaming of his future."

Miko saw a different Linus in his mind. He saw the sweet, starry-eyed alpha who'd come so close to kissing him. He saw the dedicated friend who'd immediately thought about his safety and comfort, rather than satisfying his own libido. He saw a man he could bond with, mate with, and have a family with. Cousins for his own nephew—or nephews, since Layne had been making offhand comments about having another baby with Peyton.

He and Linus were still so young, but he could see them far into the future, old and tired and surrounded by their own grandkids.

With his shaking free hand, Miko rested his palm on Linus's wrist—and he knew.

Everything Omi had ever told him about how and when he'd recognize his bondmate—the alpha the goddess had created just for him, to complete him and be his other half, to cherish his body and sire his children—punched him right in the soul. He finally understood how, despite knowing Dad's violent past, Omi had met Dad, touched Dad, and he knew .

"Hi," Miko whispered, as though he and Linus had never actually met before. And in some ways, they hadn't. Now that Miko had been through his first heat, his scent was stronger to his potential bondmate. His own nose was more able to scent his alpha. Miko had changed this weekend. They both had.

"I never imagined this for us," he continued, alone in the room with his alpha. "Not even when we were young and curious. Especially not after Layne and Peyton. But the goddess doesn't make mistakes, right?"

Liam made an odd noise, and Miko remembered he was not, in fact, alone. "Miko?"

Miko squeezed Liam's hand; he'd forgotten he was even holding it. "I feel it. The bond. I'm sure that's what this is. His scent, his presence, it's amplified in a way I can't explain."

"I'm glad to hear it. So glad." Liam was all around him then, pulling Miko into a sideways hug that was more stifling than it was comforting. "Linus needs you now."

"I need him too. And I'll be here. As long as that's what Linus wants."

"Why wouldn't he?"

Miko ducked out of Liam's embrace, ignoring the hurt look on Liam's face, and moved to the other side of Linus's bed. He didn't touch Linus again, his mind and body one giant riot of emotions: love, fear, excitement, confusion, and so many other things he couldn't name. As much as he loved the idea that someone he already adored and considered family was his bondmate, he despised the timing.

"Because Linus's focus needs to be on his recovery," Miko said, voice shaking. "His leg is already one challenge, but we have no idea what to expect from the concussion. He can't waste energy worrying about me or my needs, which I know is a hard thing for alphas to ignore when their bondmates are upset. All I have to do is look at my brother and Layne. Or my parents. I can't be a distraction."

"Miko, that is a very mature perspective, and I appreciate it. But do you love my son?"

"Of course, I do. I've known him my entire life. We grew up in each other's houses. I love him and want what's best, which might not be me right now."

Liam studied him from across the bed, his expression flat, only the barest twitch under one eye. Miko had never been stared at so intently in his life but he didn't squirm. He'd done what he'd come into this room to do, which was verify he felt the mating bond. He absolutely did. Now he had no idea what to do next.

"Miko, do you remember the story of Isa's shooting?" Liam asked. "When Layne was an infant and his crazy sire kidnapped us?"

"Of course, I remember." Isa Higgs had been shot by (they thought at the time) a distressed, suicidal omega, but it was later revealed he'd been shot by Hank Mancini, Layne's biological sire, who'd been fighting Liam for custody. With Isa incapacitated, Mancini had broken into the Higgs house, drugged Demir, and waited for Liam to come home, so he could take Liam and Layne out of the province. Everything had turned out all right, and Mancini died a few days later. Everyone in their friends group knew that story.

"When Isa was shot and in the hospital, all he wanted around him was his family," Liam continued. "He wanted his kids, and he wanted his mate. He needed to know we were close by and safe, because that's what an alpha does. He protects the people he loves, just like his omega mate protects the people he loves. If Linus is anything like his sire, he'll want the people he loves around him through this. Especially his bondmate."

"What if you're wrong? I don't want him wasting time or energy he needs to recover by worrying about me."

"You staying away won't make him stop wondering. You were the last person he was with before the accident. He'll want to see you're okay with his own eyes."

"I don't have to get close enough for him to smell me."

"Miko." Liam glared at him, eyebrows furrowed, a strange mix of confused and furious. He licked his lips and started speaking, only to stop himself more than once, and Miko waited. "I think you need to leave now. You've had your ten minutes."

Miko flinched but he didn't argue. Liam didn't understand. Hell, Miko didn't really understand. He desperately wanted to protect Linus, to help him get through all the next steps, but he didn't want to be a hindrance. "I'm sorry."

"You got the answer to your question. We'll let you know when he wakes up."

"Okay." Miko squeezed Linus's wrist once more, soaking in that brief contact, the zing through his palm that shot right to his heart. He resisted the urgent need to lean down and kiss Linus's forehead. Instead, he honored Liam's wishes and left.

He exited the ICU and bypassed the waiting room without checking in with Dad. His eyes burned with tears and his heart hurt the farther away he got from Linus, but he needed space to think.

So he left.