Chapter 17

SEVENTEEN

The next evening, on the night of the Winter Solstice Gala that he'd anticipated for the last two months, Miko was a hot mess, thanks to the comedy of errors that became picking up his suit pants from the tailor.

Miko was at home when the tailor called at three-thirty to tell him the pants were ready, because Linus wanted to be all romantic and pick him up for the gala at seven. He'd been waiting for the call all day, so he practically bounced outside to the car Omi had left for him to use today. He turned the key. The engine cranked once and then gurgled.

"The hell?" He tried again but the damned engine wouldn't start. "You've got to be kidding me." The battery could have died, but by the time he called a friend to come over and jump him, he could just as easily walk to the bus stop. Nah, a taxi would be faster, so he went back inside to find the phone book and call one.

He texted his parents about the car problem, and then waited about ten minutes for the taxi. But the moment the familiar black-and-yellow vehicle pulled up to the curb and honked, Miko's vision blurred. His chest tightened with dread and he couldn't breathe. He heard metal twisting and glass shattering, and then he was on his ass on the porch, rocking.

"Hey, kid, it's okay, take a breath," a stranger was saying, and it took what felt like hours for the words make sense. "I'm calling an ambulance."

"No!" Miko reached out and grabbed the wrist of a blond beta crouched in front of him. His chest still hurt but he could take real, deep breaths again. It helped his mind clear more, and he started shivering. "Fuck."

"You have a panic attack, buddy?"

"Is that what this is? I've never…before."

"I have a friend who gets them. Doesn't always know what'll trigger him, because he went through some shit. I'm guessing you too?"

The way the cabbie spoke, Miko suspected the friend's "some shit" was violent and physical, but Miko had no idea what had caused him to—the taxi. The last time he was in a black-and-yellow taxi here in Sansbury was the night of the crash that had turned his entire life upside down. He'd had a minor moment back in Ampshire, but those taxis had been a different color, in a different province. He hadn't even thought of the accident when he'd called for a ride, but the sight of that colored car by the curb?

"I was in an accident a few months ago," Miko replied. "The taxi I was in crashed and my best friend was seriously injured."

The cabbie blinked hard at him. "Well, that explains it. I'm real sorry that happened. Guess you're not as ready as you thought to get into one again."

"I guess not." At least not one that color. "I probably shouldn't risk having another panic attack by taking a ride, but I'll still tip you for coming all the way out here."

"Don't worry about it, honest. You should probably call someone, though."

"Yeah." He accepted the beta's help standing then let himself back into the house. The cabbie lingered on the porch for a few more moments, as if torn about leaving, but they were strangers, not friends. Miko appreciated the kindness, though.

And he still needed his damned pants.

He called Peyton, who had luckily just gotten off early so he could run some errands before the gala. Miko only said the car was dead; he didn't mention his panic attack. Peyton promised to pick up the pants and drop them off at the house by six. Good enough for Miko.

His parents got home while Miko was in the shower, and Dad agreed it was likely a dead battery. He said he'd take the battery to an auto parts store tomorrow to get it tested. No one needed that car tonight, and they all had plans to attend the gala, so the chore could wait.

"How'd you get back with your pants so fast, anyhow?" Omi asked as he put together a quick dinner for their trio.

Oops. "Um, Peyton said he'd get them and bring them by before six," Miko replied, his gut squirrelly. He tried to casually lean against the counter, but Omi saw right through his discomfort.

"What's wrong, baby boy? Your text said you were going to get to the tailor's shop another way."

"I was." He realized he was twisting the belt of his robe around his wrist way too tight and unwound it. "I called a taxi, but as soon as I saw it on the street, I, um, had a panic attack."

"Miko." Omi wiped his hands on a towel and wrapped Miko up in a tight, comforting hug, and Miko squeezed back. He loved his omegin's hugs, and it helped chase away the remnants of his bad feelings over the attack. "You should have called me right away."

"I know, but the cabbie was really nice. He stayed with me until it was over. Man, I'm such a jerk, I never even asked his name."

"It's okay, you had other things to think about. And you had no reason to think seeing a taxi would trigger a panic attack. I'm sure you've seen them around town."

"I have, and I even rode in them up in Ampshire without a problem. I'm not sure why it hit me today. Probably the color association and being home?"

"Probably so, and it sounds like you handled it. Did you at least call and talk to Linus?"

"No."

"Miko." Omi pulled back and gave him a familiar, exasperated stare. "Why not?"

"Because tonight is so important to him, and I don't want to bring down his mood. I'll tell him tomorrow or something, but I will tell him. Just not tonight."

"Okay. You know he's going to be upset that you waited."

"I know, and I will accept his anger. But it's my choice to wait."

"All right. I may not agree with it, but I do respect your decision. I won't mention it."

"Won't mention what?" Dad asked as he strolled into the kitchen.

Miko sighed and had a nearly identical conversation with his sire, right down to the hug and exasperated look. Dad also agreed to keep it to himself. With that behind them, they all helped assemble dinner and were just sitting down to eat when Peyton breezed in with Miko's pants. He didn't linger, though, because he had to go home and get dressed.

"Who's watching Caleb tonight?" Omi asked.

"Babysitter," Peyton replied. "Someone Khory recommended to us."

"Wonderful. You boys will be able to enjoy yourselves for a couple of hours."

"That's definitely the plan. See you guys there, okay? Later!"

Peyton's enthusiasm for the gala fed into Miko's, and he was even humming later when he finished getting dressed. Nervous anticipation fluttered behind his breastbone, and he could barely sit still waiting for Linus to pick him up. He expected them to ride to the gala with Linus's parents, so he was shocked when a white limousine pulled up to the curb.

Miko stared out the living room window, positive it was for a neighbor—until the driver opened the rear door and Linus stepped out with his walker. He wore a heavy winter coat, so Miko couldn't see his outfit, but Linus looked good in anything. His heart fluttered with love for his bondmate, and he didn't wait for Linus to knock. He yanked open the door and grinned.

Linus beamed at him, cheeks already rosy from the cold. "Hey, gorgeous."

"Hi." Miko let Linus come inside before kissing him. "I am so excited to go to the gala with you tonight. We finally get our first dance."

"Yeah, we do." He briefly sucked on his lower lip. "I'm nervous, Miko. I'll be so embarrassed if I trip. Or if I trip you."

"It's okay to be nervous, but no matter what happens, we're doing it together."

"We are." Linus kissed him again. "I did buy us matching boutonnieres, but I didn't want to crush them with our coats. Plus this thing." He gently shook the walker. "Needs both hands."

"Makes perfect sense. Also, a limo?"

His bright smile went adorably shy. "I wanted us to go as a couple, but I couldn't make myself call a taxi. And the splurge was absolutely worth it for the look on your face when you opened the door."

"I love the surprise, and I don't blame you for not wanting to call a taxi here." The panic attack confession dangled on the tip of his tongue. "It wasn't as awkward in Ampshire, because we were so far from home. Here? I get it, believe me."

Something must have showed in his expression, because Linus's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong?"

"We can talk about it tomorrow."

"No way, I know that tone of voice, Tovey. Something is bothering you. Did something happen today?"

Trying to put it off now meant lying to Linus's face, and Miko never wanted to do that. "Yes. I was going to tell you tomorrow, after our big night. I didn't want to bring down your mood."

Linus's quizzical expression went fierce. Protective. "What is it? Did someone hurt you?"

"No, nothing like that. When I got the call that my pants were ready, our car wouldn't start, so I called a taxi, but the instant I saw it outside, I had a panic attack."

"Oh, Miko." Linus briefly brushed his knuckles over Miko's cheek in a soothing way. "How bad?"

"I mean, I think I lost a minute or two, but the cabbie was super nice and he stayed with me until it passed. I was still a little freaked out when my parents got home, so I told them." Miko tried on a shy, penitent smile. "Omi told me to call you, and I'm sorry I didn't. But I am glad you didn't come in a taxi tonight."

"Same, even more now. I understand why you wanted to wait, but I'm glad we talked about it, and it's out of the way. You won't have to think about having to tell me later, we can just go out and enjoy the hell out of ourselves tonight. Right?"

"Absolutely right." The last shred of Miko's upset over the panic attack vanished under the force of Linus's bright, loving smile.

"I guess we'll both have a healthy fear of local taxis for a while." Linus winked. "It's too bad regular people can't just offer to drive you around in their car for a small fee."

"Hey, maybe you just invented a new business opportunity."

Linus laughed. "Maybe so. I should talk to Branson about him developing a phone app or something. Then we can both get rich off it."

"You never know. Ready to go?"

"Not yet," Omi said. He and Dad came into the living room from the hallway, Dad holding a camera. "We need pictures."

Miko helped Linus take off his coat, and they posed together both with and without the walker. Dad probably used half a roll of film, and Miko couldn't wait to see the final prints. Linus had chosen a charcoal gray suit with an ivory shirt and whimsical printed tie, which looked amazing on him, and it complimented Miko's own ivory suit and dark gray shirt. Perfect opposites and they hadn't even planned it.

After hugs and promises to see his parents at the gala, they left. The driver opened the door for them, and Miko slid inside first. He'd never been in a limo before, and it was just as luxurious as it seemed on TV. Long, plush seats; small lights along the ceiling on both sides; even a mini-fridge. As soon as Linus was settled, Miko snuggled up close and rested his head on Linus's shoulder.

Linus clasped his hand and they spent the ride in comfortable silence, simply soaking up the experience. Miko felt a bit like a fairy tale prince on his way to a ball, and he held that feeling close as they arrived. The gala was held in the historic Hotel De Fontaine which, when Miko was younger, had always felt a bit like a castle with its grand chandeliers, ornate moldings and wainscot panels, and enormous paintings. The size and ambiance of the ballroom only added to the royalty fantasy.

Once they joined the line of cars waiting for the drop-off or valet, they carefully put the other's boutonniere on their lapel. Linus hesitated when it was their turn to get out. The driver helpfully took the walker and unfolded it for Linus. Miko gave Linus a supportive kiss, then watched proudly as Linus climbed out of the limo. Miko followed him out and lightly looped his right arm around Linus's left, giving him plenty of room to maneuver the walker. Couples and groups and families moved around them, few paying them any mind.

"Let's go have the night of our lives," Miko said.

"Absolutely. Let's go."

Linus had barely been able to stop from drooling when he first saw Miko in his suit, looking so handsome and fuckable that Linus had almost wanted to skip the gala altogether. But they'd made promises, and he'd keep his end up—even if he did it sporting a semi.

His semi had died as soon as the limo stopped in front of the hotel, kicked back by nerves. Even though it was just one dance, this was the goal they'd set for him all the way back at the beginning of Linus's recovery, and they were finally here, strolling through the lobby toward the main ballroom.

Well, not really strolling, since Linus had to pay attention to his balance as the walker assisted him. He couldn't wait for the day when he could walk without it or crutches. Hell, he looked forward to just using a cane, which was his next major mobility goal. But it wasn't a goal for tonight. Tonight was about not tripping himself or anyone else, and about dancing with Miko.

They ran into Eriq and Emory first, Eriq shined up in his dress constable uniform. Their quartet quickly expanded as more couples showed arrived, and they mingled in the corridor for a while. Light piano music filtered out from the ballroom, and guests flowed in and out with drinks. When the music stopped and the opening remarks of the gala—who was hosting, why the tradition, all the yadda yadda Linus had heard before—began. Chief Constable Brandt Lars-Higgs's voice boomed over the various speakers, and Linus couldn't help wondering if Demir had made it.

If Brandt and Oliver were there, then Demir was either in the crowd with Oliver, or he'd be arriving soon. The gala was practically an anniversary of Brandt and Demir meeting nineteen years ago. After everything Demir had gone through recently, he deserved a fun night out with his husbands.

So did Linus. Tonight was a milestone and a celebration of being alive and in love. For the next four hours, nothing else mattered.

After the opening speeches, the rest of the evening was for drinking, dancing, snacking from the appetizer table, and schmoozing. Not only the constabulary making nice with average citizens, but it was a good place for businessmen to strike new alliances, and politicians to talk up their positions. Mayor Bloom and his family were in the ballroom somewhere, Linus was sure of it. The only time Linus could recall Tarek and Braun Bloom missing a gala was the one right after Tarek was shot and paralyzed.

The entire extended Bloom and Cross families had been absent that year. Linus had never forgotten how worried and angry Rei and Caden were about the whole ordeal.

And speaking of his two alpha friends, he hadn't seen either of them yet, but it also didn't surprise him. Rei often showed up to support his parents, but after his vision loss, he didn't enjoy the galas as much. He did have a mate now, though, and Rei had attended last year with Kinley on his arm.

Caden, on the other hand, had admitted recently to Linus that he'd felt forced to go to the galas to support Kell's political initiatives, and he'd mostly come as an excuse to find friends he could smoke Flax with. Thankfully, Caden was now eleven months clean and sober, and he was completely devoted to his mate Zaq. This year would be their first appearance as a mated couple, so Linus kept an eye out.

As much of an eye as he could while concentrating on Miko and on navigating the swirling crowd with a walker. A handful of older, near-strangers stopped by to deliver familiar platitudes—all from people who'd once worked with his sire. Linus had met so many work colleagues over the years that he'd stopped trying to remember them all. Even after Dad retired, Linus was connected to the constabulary through Demir's relationship with Brandt.

"So do you want that dance first?" Linus asked Miko during a break in casual conversation. "Or would you like a drink?"

"Actually, I'd love a drink," Miko replied. "Come on."

They made their way into the ballroom. The first half of the room was a dance floor already half full of dancing couples. The back half had dozens of round tables with chairs, the appetizer buffet and two wet bars. Linus spotted more clusters of people he knew, including some guys from the university soccer team, and wished he could wave at them. He also battled a sharp pang of grief for the career he'd lost. The dream that had been taken along with half his leg.

He wasn't paying attention when Miko stopped walking, and Linus nearly crashed into the man in front of him. They were in line for drinks, and Linus needed to stay focused on the present, on his reason for being here, not on all the things he'd lost.

"What do you feel like?" Miko asked. "My treat."

"I would love one beer," Linus replied. He hadn't had a sip of alcohol since the night of the party, not with all the painkillers he'd been on. Now that he was weaning down and managing his pain better, he could indulge on a night like this. "Just the one."

"Okay."

On their turn, Miko ordered a bottled beer for each of them. He paid and carried them to the nearest empty table so they could settle and sip. The first taste of the yeasty beer warmed Linus's throat and stomach in a pleasant, familiar way.

He'd only managed a second sip and was searching for something to talk about when a tall body slid into the chair next to Linus. Danyel grinned at him, a tall mixed drink of some kind in his hand. "Look at you, out and about like a normal person, Higgs."

Linus laughed. "You're one to talk, dude. You hate this kind of formal shit."

"Yeah, well, my oldest alpha brother just made constable this year, so my siblings kind of insisted we make this a big family affair. I have a mandatory two hours, and then I can jet. What about you, though? Just showing off your new leg?"

"My new leg." Linus squeezed Miko's wrist. "And showing off my bondmate."

"Dude, really?" Danyel looked between them with wide eyes. "You've known each other for, like, your entire lives. How did you just figure it out? Didn't Miko heat the night of the accident?"

Linus gently knuckled Danyel in the shoulder. "My nose, dumbass. Remember that after the accident, my sense of smell was out of whack for a while? It took me time to understand what I felt for Miko, and we finally figured it out after I got home from rehab. But even before all that, we promised each other we'd dance at the gala, whether I was in a wheelchair or on my own two feet."

"Why am I both impressed and nauseated by the sweetness of that?"

"You'll change your mind when you meet your bondmate," Miko shot back with humor in his voice.

"Probably," Danyel replied with a smile. A smile Linus suspected was forced. "But I still have another year of university, so plenty of time to worry about that. And since you never afforded me a single date, Miko, can I have one dance later?"

Miko raised an eyebrow and looked at Linus. Linus might have bristled if he didn't know Danyel well enough to sense his melancholy. Despite Danyel's oldest brother achieving constable and the siblings being out celebrating, he probably missed his parents. "It's up to Miko, not me," Linus said.

"One dance," Miko said. "After I've danced with Linus."

"Of course. I'll see you guys later." Danyel tapped the lip of his glass against each of their beer bottles, and then he melted into the moving crowd. Alone.

Linus empathized with Danyel, himself being the youngest of five siblings, both alphas, both trying to make a career out of playing soccer. When Linus put the idea of losing both his parents within two years, which Danyel had, against Linus losing part of his leg to a terrible accident but still having choices in terms of his future mobility, plus Linus having his bondmate by his side….Linus had it pretty damned good.

"Hey, you okay?" Miko asked.

"Yeah." Linus leaned over and kissed Miko's cheek. "Really good. Danyel's a great guy, and I really do hope he finds what we have. He deserves it."

"Well, he'll never have what we have, because I am yours and no one else's. And you're mine."

"Pedantic dork. And you're right, you are mine, Miko Tovey. I love you."

Miko smiled warmly. "I love you too."

More friends passed by over the next twenty or so minutes, while he and Miko finished their beers, and Linus soaked in the attention. For the last two months, his life had revolved around his leg and his recovery. Tonight, his life revolved around Miko as his bondmate, and them being out in the world as a couple. Dad and Papa even came by, and Linus couldn't swear to it, but Dad seemed almost energetic. Which was an odd observation for someone Dad's age, but Linus wanted his sire to live forever.

The music changed to something softer, more romantic, and Miko looked at him with hooded eyes. Linus's heart melted. Time for their dance. Since his parents were still at the table, Linus left his walker in their care. Miko helped him up, and he stood on Linus's right side, helping him both walk and balance as they headed for the edge of the dance floor.

This wasn't a romantic movie where Linus would suddenly sprint forward and show off with his prosthetic, no assistance needed. No spotlight was going to shine on them as he and Miko danced in a perfect rhythm to a sappy love song. This was real life, and it was absolutely perfect.

Linus struggled a little and clung to Miko so he didn't fall on his face, and he felt no shame in that. Only a blast of love that Miko was by his side, no matter what. They reached the edge of the dance floor where fewer people were. It was odd not to feel the smooth surface under both feet, to not be certain of where his right foot was going to land in relation to Miko's feet. He looked down a lot and allowed Miko to lead them.

Miko led him in a slow, beautiful dance all their own, the music barely there as Linus concentrated on existing with his boyfriend. On moving carefully but also somehow sensually, all because of the man in his arms. This gorgeous omega he'd loved his entire life and in all the ways: as a friend, then a brother-in-law, and now as his romantic partner. His life partner.

Mine.

He lost himself for a while, ignoring the steady pressure in his right leg, the developing fatigue, because he didn't want this to ever end. But Miko somehow knew it was time to stop, and when the spell broke, Linus looked around them. Their friends were dancing in what felt like a protective circle: Eriq and Emory, Caden and Zaq, Peyton and Layne, Rei and Kinley, Khory and Aeron, Hyatt and Dorian, and various sets of parents, including Dad and Papa, as well.

Linus's eyes stung with grateful tears as he gazed at the family all around them, family that had stuck by his side his entire life. Family who would always be there, no matter the challenges he anticipated and the ones he couldn't possibly imagine. For all the heartache, pain, healing, and trauma he'd endured to reach this moment, he knew deep-down he wouldn't change a single moment of it.

"I love you," he whispered to Miko.

Miko's bright smile said it all, but he spoke the words anyway. "I love you, too. Forever."

Forever.