Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
Miko was glad he tried on his good suit the day before the Winter Solstice Gala, instead of the day of, or he'd have been a little bit screwed. After sharing breakfast with the Higgs family, he and Linus had decided on a fun project for the day: developing their trip pictures at a one-hour photo hut, and then putting together a scrapbook of their wintertime adventure, complete with fun paper stamps and stickers. They shopped at a local craft and hobby store while the photos were developed, Linus using the cart for balance instead of his crutches or the walker. Miko was incredibly proud of how he carried himself through the store.
After they collected their supplies and the photos, Miko drove them back to his house to grab some stuff that Omi had on-hand from previous attempts at scrapbooking the hundreds of photos Dad had taken over the years, after discovering a love for photography in his late twenties.
They also used the excuse of an empty house to make love in Miko's room, using the slick he'd bought months ago for jerking off, since the other bottle was still in their suitcase at Linus's house. Miko loved feeling his alpha sliding in and out of his body, an action both claiming and giving, until they both came.
Linus was still lounging on the bed when Miko came back in after a quick bathroom cleanup. "Have you aired out your suit yet?" Linus asked, pointing at the bedroom closet. "I need to get mine out when we go home."
"What on earth made you think of that?"
"Papa." He held up his mobile. "Texted me a few minutes ago asking if I'd done it."
"Ah ha. Yeah, that makes sense. It's been ages since I last wore it." He glanced down at his rounded belly. "Hope it still fits." Thanks to his bruised ribs and lack of real exercise these past two months, he'd gained some weight around the middle, and the pants had been a tad tight before.
Miko found it in the back of his closet, still in its dry cleaners bag, and put on underwear before trying on the suit. The jacket was fine, but as expected, the waist was tight. "Well, shit," he huffed.
"Uncomfortable?"
"Really uncomfortable."
"We've got over twenty-four-hours before we need them. Maybe there's a tailor who can fit you in last minute."
"You think?" Miko pouted at his reflection, annoyed with himself but it wasn't as if he could drop five pounds overnight.
"It's worth calling around." Linus reached out and rubbed his back. "The last thing I want is for you to be self-conscious and uncomfortable all evening."
Good point. Miko went into the kitchen for a phone book. If no one could do it, he'd just suck in his gut and deal. Thankfully, a tailor not too far from his neighborhood could fit him in, so Miko dropped the pants off on their way to Linus's house with takeout and their scrapbook project. They had a bigger dining table there to spread everything out on.
Isa was in the living room doing a puzzle on his folding table, with some midday program on in the background. They ate on the couch and watched TV like they'd done a hundred other times, but this felt different for Miko. This time, he and Linus were a committed couple who'd shared their love in the most intimate way possible. They were different.
And he loved every second of it.
After cleaning up, they started on the scrapbook, which mostly turned into them studying each picture, reminiscing on exactly what they'd been doing or saying in the moment, and (for Miko) wishing they were still there. Isa came in twice just to take a peek, and they promised an official unveiling when the project was finished.
Around four, just as Miko's mind began wandering in the direction of dinner and where he was eating tonight, a car engine rumbled into the driveway. He didn't pay much attention to the front door opening and closing, assuming it was Liam coming home, until Isa's deep voice boomed, "Demir. Don't usually see you in the middle of a work day."
Linus let out a sharp squawk of surprise. But his raised eyebrows immediately dipped into annoyance. Unsure how to interpret that, Miko stayed quiet and took his cues from Linus.
After four amazing days with Miko, Linus was on a high he hadn't felt since his last soccer game. He'd adored going through their trip pictures, remembering all those fantastic moments, eager for his next dose of fantastic, when Dad's voice popped that high like a helium balloon.
He'd barely given Demir any thought in days, and now he was here? Interrupting Linus's great mood? In the middle of a work day, when he never got off work before six o'clock? His immediate concern for bad news disappeared as quickly as it hit him. Demir didn't hide his emotions all that well, especially not when upset, and no way would he have had the capacity to drive over here if something had happened to Brandt, Oliver, Eriq or Gaige. And Dad hadn't said anyone else's name, just Demir's.
Annoyance filled his brain with static, and Linus tried to stand, forgetting for a split second that he had a prosthetic. The attempt had him slamming back into the chair and feeling like an idiot.
"It's okay, I'll help," Miko said quietly. He stood and pulled Linus's chair back from the table, so Linus could stand. By the time he was situated with a hand on the back of his chair for balance, Demir was standing in the dining room's archway, smiling.
"What are you doing here?" Linus blurted out.
Demir's right eyebrow quirked up but he didn't lose his smile. "I came to see my family. I had vacation time that was about to expire and, believe it or not, my supervisor basically forced me to take a week off, starting today."
"What about your important protocols?"
The smile slipped at Linus's belligerent tone. "I passed them off to other researchers to manage while I'm on leave. There isn't anything hyper-critical that will be negatively affected by me being gone for a week, and if something happens, they can call me. It's not as if I'm leaving Sansbury." He glanced at the table. "Are those photos of your trip?"
Linus closed the album cover without thinking. Demir's eyebrows furrowed. His eyes shined with confusion and hurt, but Linus wasn't taking pity. Not when he'd barely seen his brother these last two months.
"Hey, I am going to take a bathroom break," Miko said. "You guys, um, talk." He pressed a kiss to Linus's cheek before leaving the dining room.
Demir stepped to the other side of the table, directly opposite Linus, hands in his pockets, trying to look unthreatening and casual, but his attention was directly on Linus. "I wasn't expecting a ticker-tape parade," Demir said, "but what's with the hostility? Are you and Miko doing okay?"
"We're amazing, actually. The best we've ever been, and I cannot wait to dance with him tomorrow night at the gala. Miko is everything."
"Okay. Then what's up, buddy? You're acting like you're mad at me."
Demir's familiar use of that nickname made Linus want to both smile and scream. "Don't worry about it. You never have before."
"What? What are you talking about? You're my little brother, I worry about you all the time."
"Yeah, okay." The longer Demir stood there stewing in utter confusion, like he had no idea why Linus was irritated, the angrier Linus became. Months of pent-up frustration and resentment boiled to the surface, and Linus was helpless to keep it inside. His face heated and his skin crawled with the need to physically lash out. Even for a young alpha, he rarely lost his temper, and right now, it was hitting critical mass.
He didn't want to yell at his brother. Didn't want to scream or start a fight, so Linus fumbled for his crutches instead. He got one, but the other slid down the wall and clattered to the floor, out of reach. "Fuck."
Demir rounded the table and picked up the crutch. When he tried handing it to him, Linus recoiled. That final, tenuous hold he had on his temper snapped. "I don't want your fucking help anymore!"
Demir took two full steps backward, and the fact that Dad didn't come racing in to see what was going on told Linus that Miko was running interference. Miko knew this conversation was long overdue.
"Linus, I know I work a lot, that's always been who I am, but you know I love you," Demir said, hurt dripping off his words. "All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy and safe, since the day you were born."
"Safe, maybe, but you have a fucking funny way of showing you give a shit about my happiness. Where were you, huh? Where?"
"When? The night of the accident?"
"My fucking game, Demir! My last game. It was the biggest game of my entire fucking university career, and you. Weren't. There!" Goddess, it felt good to finally say it out loud, to hurl those words right at his big brother with all the resentment that had built up for—if he was honest—the last year or so of his soccer career. So many games, no Demir. But this final game…it had been everything. And now, it might be the last game Linus ever played.
And Demir couldn't be bothered to show up.
Demir's face got blotchy, and Linus swore he was trying not to cry. "I tried to get there, Linus, I swear. I had every intention of leaving work early so I could make the game. I did know how important it was."
Empty intentions now. "Then why didn't you show up?"
Demir's upset shifted into a different kind of grief that Linus didn't understand. Demir rested the crutch against the wall and folded his arms across his chest—a protective gesture Linus recognized. And he wouldn't look Linus in the eyes. "Because I got a call for a last-minute appointment. It was a cancellation, and I had to take it. My original appointment was still three weeks away, and I couldn't wait that long. Not knowing was tearing Oliver up inside. Brandt, too."
Linus's fury faded beneath the misery in Demir's voice and the seriousness of his words. "An appointment for what?"
"For an excision biopsy." Demir finally met his gaze, and the fear in his eyes punched Linus in the gut. "Oliver noticed that a mole on my shoulder looked different, so I wanted to get it checked out. To make sure it wasn't melanoma skin cancer."
Linus nearly fell over at the word cancer. "Was it?"
"No. No, the biopsy was clear. Thank goddess, it was clear, and I've got a tiny little scar, and I thought it was over, but it's not, is it? Because the timing fucking sucks." Demir wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Other than Oliver and Brandt, you are the first person I've told about the cancer scare. Because you were dealing with something so much bigger, and our collective attention needed to be on you, Linus. On you, not me."
"But…" He stared dumbly at Demir, unable to process the fact that Demir had been going through something as traumatizing as a cancer scare, and the only people he'd had to lean on were his husbands. That he hadn't confided in Dad or Papa, because he hadn't wanted to divide their attention between him and Linus. Demir had made sure their families rallied around Linus.
He'd protected Linus again, just like when they were all kidnapped. Just like he always had and always would.
"I don't know what to say," Linus blurted out. He really didn't, his thoughts way too jumbled, his emotions pinballing all over the place.
"You don't have to say anything." Demir wiped a stray tear off his cheek, and Linus hated seeing his brother cry. "You have every right to be angry about me missing that game. I knew how important it was, and I chose myself over you by going to that appointment."
"No, good! You should have gone. I can't imagine having to wait for weeks to find out something like that. And I know the way Oliver worries. Your house is probably cleaner than it's been since Gaige broke his ankle when he was nine."
Demir cracked a small smile. "It is. I made a selfish choice by going to the appointment, and I was so freaked out afterward, not really thinking right because of the local anesthetic Dr. Burgess used and knowing I still had to wait a few days for the results, that I just went home. I forgot about the game until Tarius called and told me about your big win." He cleared his throat. "I was so upset I'd missed it that I cried myself to sleep. Then Brandt woke me and told me about the car accident, and nothing mattered more than you. Making sure you were okay."
Linus's eyes burned but he couldn't move to wipe away his own tears, not with new ones trickling down Demir's cheeks.
"I know I wasn't around as much as I should have been during your recovery," Demir said in a strangled voice. "I was a coward and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Linus."
"No, stop. You aren't a coward, you are so brave, Demir. I had no idea what you were going through all this time. Hiding a cancer scare from everyone because of me."
"I was a coward because I could barely look at you without feeling guilty, so I kept busy. It was the exact opposite of how I treated you after what happened with Dent. This failure felt far worse, because you lost your dream of playing professional soccer."
Linus stared, stressed out by Demir's obvious grief and upset, and not really understanding it. "What does missing my game have to do with Dent kidnapping us?"
"Because I let you down and didn't protect you. Again. You lost your leg, and I couldn't do anything to fix it. I fixed Peyton for Layne, and I couldn't do anything for you."
Demir's bitter words finally began making sense in Linus's brain, and the twisted logic became clearer. Since the moment they were born, Demir had made it his life's goal to be the best big brother possible, to always protect his two younger siblings. And he had, to the best of his limited capabilities, because he wasn't superhuman. He couldn't predict the future or alter time or erase pain.
Demir had done his damnedest to protect Linus and Layne during the Dent kidnapping, and Layne had carried more of the emotional burden from that because he'd been six. He'd been more aware of the danger they were in, and he'd kept Linus distracted from what could have been a terrorizing event. Layne had suffered his own breakdown a few years ago and finally gotten the therapy he needed. Linus had hated seeing his brother in so much pain, but Layne was much healthier and more well-adjusted now.
But Linus had no idea Demir was carrying so much guilt over his inability to fix Linus's leg. Or over missing the game and not being able to prevent the car crash in the first place. Demir thought he'd failed Linus, and Linus had to find the right words to keep his hero from falling completely apart.
"Come here," Linus said. He beckoned with one hand until Demir dropped his arms and closed the distance between them. Linus carefully held onto Demir's shoulders and shifted his weight so he could fully face him. "You did not fail me, Demir. Not once. Not on purpose. Yes, I was mad you missed my game. I was furious for a long time, because I thought you'd blown me off for work. And then when it was my very last game…that anger got toxic. I let it fester. If I'd called you out on it sooner, we might not have been so estranged these last two months. We could have talked it out, and you wouldn't have had to keep this cancer secret for so long. I'm sorry."
"Accepted and forgiven. But I could have done the same thing, especially these last few weeks when you were really progressing and finding joy with Miko. I should have made the time to talk to you sooner, so the conversation didn't start with a huge fight like it did today. I'm sorry I let you stay angry, instead of finding my courage and facing the mess I'd made. I'm sorry for avoiding you and for letting you down."
"You didn't do anything out of cruelty. That's not you. I think this time we each let ourselves down. We're freaking adults. We should know how to talk to each other."
"We're adults who were going through some pretty life-changing stuff. I'll be less hard on me if you'll be less hard on you."
Linus smiled, happy to see the grief clearing from Demir's face. "Deal." He slid his arms around Demir's shoulder and relaxed into a firm, comforting hug. The first they'd shared in a long time. Way too long.
The first but definitely not the last.
Miko passed the box of tissues over to Isa, who took one for himself. When Miko excused himself from the dining room, he'd gone to sit with Isa with the intention of giving the brothers privacy. But most of their conversation had carried to them, and they'd both gasped at Demir's cancer scare news. Isa had begun wiping away tears almost immediately, which had set off Miko's inner omega, and he'd embraced his future father-in-law.
They'd held each other during the entire reconciliation, and Miko's heart soared with pride for his bondmate. Pride and love and relief that this standoff between Linus and Demir was finally over. Everything was on the table, and it sounded as if they were now in a better place. His heart also broke a little for Demir's pain, in keeping such a scary time in his life from some of the people he loved most, simply because he loved Linus that much more.
When Demir and Linus came into the living room, both smiling, Isa and Miko stood at the same time. Isa went straight for Demir and hugged him tight. Miko observed them for a moment, and then he walked to Linus. Folded Linus into his arms. Soaked in his scent and felt his heart beating against Miko's.
"I'm so proud of you," Miko whispered.
"For yelling at my brother?"
Miko pulled back. "No, dork. For standing up for yourself. Speaking your mind. We're both learning to do that more."
Linus nodded then rested his cheek on Miko's shoulder. "Yeah, we are. Finally."