33. Valerie

Chapter thirty-three

Valerie

B reakfast went so smoothly that morning that not even teenage Valerie could have dreamt this up. So smoothly that it went on for weeks.

Although absent of sex, Ambrose has shown me a world of passion, fun and excitement. One that has me feeling like I'm a teenager again; sneaking around, spending the night, staying up until the early hours talking about what we want for our lives, and in typical Ambrose style – surprise dates to five-star restaurants.

Nothing short of a daydream. The only downside is how much all the brothers seem to be in the villa. Sneaking around is significantly more difficult whenever they're home at the same time.

For a huge villa, you'd think it would be more difficult to bump into everyone but they all seem to be hyper-aware that something is different with Ambrose.

Everyone has commented on it, even people at work have said he's less moody these days. Adriano seems irritated by it, Gus acts as if he couldn't give a shit, and well Antonio, he's been out of the country so much that I doubt he'd even notice if I shaved my head at this point.

I almost get the feeling that he's avoiding me but I push that notion to the back of my head because he hasn't even been home long enough to act like he's ignoring me. But maybe that's the entire point, maybe he's staying away to avoid me completely.

I've been having this nagging feeling that he knows something's going on, but Ambrose has tried convincing me multiple times that he doesn't.

"Val, where's the brush?" Ambrose yells from the bathroom.

"I left it on the counter," I answer.

The words are barely out of my lips when I realise something has changed in the statement. He called it the brush and not his brush.

I have been using his brush for the last few weeks whenever I stay over because, even though I hate to admit it, it's fucking amazing at detangling my hair. More so than any brush I've ever owned.

"I put an extra towel out for you. I know you said you like an extra one when you wash your hair," he says as he walks over and kisses the top of my head.

"How'd you know I was gonna wash my hair?" I smile up at him.

"You always wash your hair on Wednesdays, Val." He looks at me confused as if I forgot my weekly schedule.

"No, I know," I scoff. "Obviously I know when I wash my hair, I didn't realise you noticed."

He smirks but I can see it doesn't fully reach his eyes as he absentmindedly stares in the mirror drying off his hair. "You'd be surprised what I notice, sweetheart." He sends me a small smile before quickly turning and heading towards his closet. "C'mon, finish up, we have to head out before Antonio comes home."

"Wait, he's coming home today?" I know my excitement is clear in my tone and by his slow movements, I want to guess that he's not equally excited about his brother's return to Tevici.

"Yes, he'll be at the office later." That is all I get before he walks into the closet .

As I step into the bathroom, the towels are laid out near the shower, the brush lying neatly on top of it and all of my skincare moved towards the front of the vanity. I hadn't even realised I'd moved so much of it to his place. It's nearly my entire routine and I sigh knowing I have to pack it up to head home soon. I haven't slept at home once this week.

The nagging guilt is barely contained by Karyn's messages and my father's reassurance that he's fine. I came home to be with him but here I am sleeping in a billionaire's bed, ignoring calls from the bank, simply pretending my life isn't going to shit. Because pretending is easier than coming to terms with the fact that I'm not able to cope with it all.

I step into the shower and spot my shower gel next to his. It burns as I swallow back tears, it isn't the usual travel-sized one I use and refill at home. Oh no, this is the full-sized version and instantly my head snaps to the bathroom counter where the skincare is. They're all the largest versions of the products. I'd never brought my entire routine here, Ambrose bought everything and I never even noticed when it all changed.

As much as I try to stop the tears, as soon as the water turns on and his scent fills the room they begin streaming down my face.

I reach for the untouched shower gel and I fucking panic, my hand visibly shaking in front of me. Instead, I have no idea why, but I reach for his instead and use it to take the fastest shower possible. Every second I spend in here feels suffocating, the steam filling the bathroom makes breathing feel impossible and my eyes landing on every kind gesture is causing my internal worries to spiral.

I've let it happen again, he's gotten too close too quickly. It's gotten too serious too quickly. This is Mattheo all over again.

I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around me, grab the brush and head to the mirror willing myself to not look down, not even once, at everything on the counter.

The bathroom door cracks open. "Sorry, I need to grab something," he apologises. I stand frozen watching him till he's next to me as well. "Val," he sighs and I nearly jump at how raw his voice sounds. "I've been wanting to ask for a while but the scar on your jaw, how'd you get it?"

It's the last thing I expect him to ask, but it's the cherry on top of every kind gesture glaring at me right in the face this morning.

His eyes meet mine and they are so vulnerable that the tears I'm struggling to hold back well up in mine. "Uhm I fell…" I drop my eyes from him and instead, they land on the fucking skincare and I want to scream. He is everywhere in this fucking bathroom. I rush out, I need to breathe, to get away from him.

"Val? There's no way you fell and got a scar like that?" He follows me out, brows furrowed. "Did you use my shower gel? Is the one I got you the wrong one? I could've sworn I've seen you use it?" he rambles.

"No, it's perfect-" I croak out.

"Then what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I have nothing to say to ease his mind because right now even though I've escaped the suffocating weight of the bathroom his scent lingers on every inch of my skin and I want to go back in time and smack myself for reaching for his shower gel instead of mine.

"Valerie," he says. His tone is cold enough to freeze my actions, its chill runs through my bones and I can feel the goosebumps rise on every inch of my skin.

I stop and face him and he looks almost…angry?

"Tell me who hurt you, or so help me god, I'll.."

"You'll what?" I interrupt. "Go back in time and kill them? Prevent it all from happening? Well, you fucking can't, Ambrose. It was Mattheo, that's how it happened, but it's over, so try to forget about it because I know I fucking am."

I grab my things and rush into the stupid walk-in closet slamming the door behind me.

My head is swirling with thought and regret starts creeping in. Ambrose cares about me. Really cares about me and I don't have a clue how I let it get this serious again, how I let myself get so carried away with it.