34. OUTSIDER

34

OUTSIDER

W ith the new day came a new resolve. If the Oracle believed Charlotte belonged in their world, then something had to give. It wasn't only by her own hand that she felt like an outsider. Her friends had kept her in the dark about everything; and while that might have been for her protection, it still stung. They could have given her something .

Trusted her.

It did more than make her feel bad that they didn't trust her to not say something. It made her feel excluded and alone.

Aiden was in the shower when she woke up, so she got dressed and took the note from his bedside table. She needed to confront him about it.

Another item on the take-no-prisoners agenda of the morning.

Now, standing in the cafeteria watching her friends talk amongst themselves with smiles and laughter, she questioned if she should say anything at all and risk bringing down the mood .

Her crescent moon earrings slapped her neck when she shook her head from side to side. Focus.

One thing her ma always taught her was sometimes to make progress you needed to ruffle a few feathers.

Aiden had already grabbed a tray with breakfast and his blood packet. She had told him to go ahead while she got her drink, needing to get her head in order before she did what needed to be done.

With a tight swallow, she strode toward the table, her resolve in place.

Everyone fell silent when she approached, making her shoulders tense.

"What now?"

Riley and Blaire exchanged a look, and Charlotte gripped her tray. Placing it down on the table, she sat, movements stiff, and it took all her self-control to regulate her breathing.

"Are you okay?" Layla asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, the rose…"

Charlotte glanced at Aiden. He'd told them. Instead of waiting for her, or even asking if she would be okay with sharing something that scared her, he'd taken it upon himself to share information without her consent.

She tucked her lower lip into her mouth, taking a long inhale through her nose and blinking several times.

"Charlotte?" Aiden turned in his chair, his warm hand landing on her arm.

Of course he sensed her emotions. Even if she tried to school her features, her heart cried and bled at the feeling of betrayal. It didn't matter if the subject revolved around her, they still kept her out of their discussions .

"So I met the Oracle," she said, her voice pitching sharply before she cleared her throat. "Nice woman. A little cryptic. Wandering around in floor-length robes in the dark seemed a little unhinged, though." She hoped the change in subject would both calm her and deflect attention from her internal pity party.

Did she take her medicine last night or this morning? She felt worse than she had in days. With the news of her stalker still being alive, she hadn't paid enough attention. It only took one missed dose to mess with her mood.

Blaire stirred crumbled bacon into her cheese grits. "When did you meet the Oracle?"

"Last night."

"You were with me last night," Aiden said, confused.

"I woke up to go to the bathroom and needed some fresh air. Took a walk around campus and ran into her." She spread butter over the silver-dollar pancakes on her plate.

Aiden's fists clenched on the table. "It's not safe for you to go out by yourself."

Pausing her pouring of syrup, she looked at him, her upper teeth bared in a small sneer. "I've been going out for months in Athens while a stalker roamed around. With both humans and rogue Vasirian wandering around there, I probably was in more danger there than wandering around a closed university campus behind iron gates." She set down the syrup. "Unless there's something more I'm unaware of?" She looked around the table, meeting everyone's eyes, a challenge in her own.

"No. But…"

"Aiden. Nothing happened." She sat back in her chair. "The Oracle expanded on the things the headmistress told me. The things y'all've told me. "

"Did she say anything new?" Dominic asked, opening a blood packet. "Something to explain all this?"

"Some of it was vague."

Blaire snorted. "Surprise, surprise."

"But she did say my soul belonged with all of yours."

Riley squealed, clapping her hands, bouncing in her seat. "She's the sixth!"

"What?" Lukas said, looking over at her.

Her hands came down on the table as she sat forward. "Remember? The Oracle said we were all supposed to be together. Like kindred spirits or something. Reincarnated."

"I remember that, but what the hell do you mean by sixth?"

"She told us there was a sixth person who had yet to find us," Blaire said.

Charlotte looked around the table. "But there are…" She counted with her finger pointing to each person. "Seven of you before I came along."

"I'm not part of that revelation," Dominic said, sitting back and crossing his ankle over his knee. "But I'm apparently connected to her future." He nodded his head in Riley's direction.

Seth grumbled and took a bite out of his biscuit.

Charlotte's lips pulled in. Ookaay. A sore subject to avoid. Got it.

"I'm not either," Layla said, her French tip manicure tapping on the side of her water bottle. "I'm learning things like you are. I mean, I obviously know all about our species and Korrenas, but all this prophecy stuff you're finding out about?" Layla paused, swallowing the tasty pancakes.

Charlotte nodded for her to continue.

"It's new to me. I didn't start hanging out with them until last semester—something like that. "

"So you think it's Charlotte?" Seth asked Riley.

"I do. It's the only thing that makes sense. She's Aiden's Korrena. Besides, the Oracle said her soul is connected to ours, so that's like writing it in the clouds with a plane by Oracle standards."

"What?" Charlotte had no idea what Riley meant.

"The Oracle can be incredibly vague," Aiden said.

"She often talks in circles because she can't tell us information directly unless the Celestial Conclave grants the right," Dominic added. "It risks upsetting the balance of things, which could influence a change to fate."

"Did she say anything else?" Riley asked.

Charlotte explained everything she could remember from last night, hesitating to say anything about her awakening and blood. The Oracle wasn't clear on the information for her to understand it enough to explain.

"Listen, there's something else we need to talk about," she said after they absorbed the information about the Oracle.

"What's up?" Riley said.

All her earlier resolve wilted and turned to dust inside. She didn't feel as comfortable broaching the subject after their productive conversation about the Oracle. She should have confronted them first, but she didn't need Aiden knowing he'd hurt her. The familiar tightening in her chest made her realize she needed to do this or nothing would change.

Keeping her eyes on the last bites of her tiny pancakes, her words came out soft but clear. "I've felt left out. I always felt that way before I came here, and I know there's a reason for it now, even if it still feels bad, but…" She looked up, meeting Blaire's eyes. "Even though I'm now in this world, you're still excluding me."

Blaire dropped her gaze down to her tray .

Riley looked at Seth before looking back at Charlotte. "You're not excluded. You're our friend." Layla nodded her agreement.

Lukas leaned over, his shoulder bumping Blaire's. "I know Blaire has felt guilty leaving you in the dark for a long time. Even without her telling me, I felt it." His hand went into his hair to push it away from his face. He had a habit of doing that. She wondered why he didn't cut his long hair if it kept bothering him. "I'm not good at this sort of thing, but Riley's right. You're our friend. You were important to Blaire, and that made you important to us. We got to know you, and—"

"Now you're one of us!" Riley said, voice firm, but her eyes looked sad.

"I don't know you, really, but you seem nice," Dominic added.

They all sounded so sincere, so why did it feel like it wasn't true when they kept things from her? She needed to know why. Before she could say anything, Aiden spoke.

"You belong here, Charlotte. With me. With them. No one excludes you anymore. We had to before to protect you. It hurt us to do it, but we needed to make sure you were safe. If they wiped your memory, they would have to take away your memory that we even existed. What we had before wouldn't matter. You wouldn't know us."

Aiden's words made her feel guilty, but she couldn't stop the weird feeling that he still was keeping her separated from his world. She might exist in their world now, but they still all treated her with kid gloves, shielding her from knowing things or handling things they deemed not appropriate for a human.

Blaire was human, but she was a witch with magical blood. If Charlotte understood correctly, Blaire's magic protected her.

As a lowly human, Charlotte was a liability.

Steeling her courage, she slipped her hand into her pocket and pulled out the note from Aiden's bedside table, tossing it on the table, open for Aiden to see the words on the page. "You all clearly know about this too, if you know about the rose," she said, tone flat and accusing.

He cringed.

She turned in her seat, forcing him to make eye contact with her. He wouldn't look away from her when he gave her the answer she needed. She needed to see the truth in his eyes. "Do you even want me in this world or not?"

He gaped at her.

"You never asked me to be part of this world. Never said that's what you wanted. You've gone with the flow, accepting whatever has been laid out for you. You haven't even told me how you feel about it." Her hands tightened into fists on her thighs. "I've only heard the older adults like the headmistress tell me we're soulmates, but I haven't heard once if it's what you want, or anything else."

She shook her head.

"I understand the concept of it. The Korrena pairing. I don't read the books Blaire and Riley do—video games are my hobby—but I'm familiar with the mythical world of true mates." Her laugh sounded hollow. "Well, it's not so mythical, after all." She forged on, even though it looked and felt like Aiden was on edge. Something tingled at the edge of her consciousness. An uncomfortable awareness that felt a little dark. "I don't know your feelings, and I'm not sure how you feel about all this."

"You know I want you," he said, voice hard.

"A lot of men have wanted me in my life. I'd be stupid to think you weren't attracted to me, considering what's happened between us, but your heart doesn't have to be in it to…" Her gaze shifted to the others at the table, as if realizing they were still listening. "Well, you kn ow." She had gone on a tangent in her frustration and forgotten them. The varying degrees of surprise made her tense.

"I've told you about how I am with relationships." His eyes tightened at the corners. "With sex."

But was that really him or the Korrena bond? The more she learned, the more she wondered if the bond overrode his sexuality. He admitted to attraction before they had any form of emotional connection. It left her confused and unsure of his true feelings. He couldn't be angry with her for that. Her concern was valid.

"I know that, but is it not the bond?"

"Oh boy," Riley said, drawing Charlotte's attention. "We went through this," she said, glancing at Aiden with sadness in her eyes. Seth put his hand on hers on the table. "Seth hated the idea of a Korrena bond because he thought it was forced biology. We both almost rejected the bond when it presented itself because of it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Biology makes your existing feelings stronger, and makes it easier to fit together, but if your heart isn't in it, it won't ever develop."

"The bond chooses pairs who are compatible and who fit together," Dominic added.

Charlotte looked back at Aiden. He still looked mad, but she wouldn't apologize for her worry. She said nothing that wasn't true. She didn't know what he wanted. He had said nothing. That wasn't on her. Even now, he remained silent.

She repeated her earlier question. "Do you even want me in your world?"

If she had to pinpoint the look on his face, she would say he seemed offended, but his tone sounded furious when he snapped, "Do you realize what all I've done to keep you safe in this world?" His voice dropped an octave, a sharp precision to his tone that cut into her like a knife. "What I did to keep you safe before you even knew about this world, when we thought a human was stalking you?" His jaw worked as he ground his teeth.

His anger and resentment mingled with her confusion and insecurity, a potent cocktail of turmoil in her belly that turned into something poisonous.

Her nose wrinkled as she narrowed her eyes. She couldn't mask her impertinent tone if she tried. "Don't confuse your savior complex with a genuine care for me."

Riley gasped.

"Aiden," Lukas said, a warning in his tone.

Charlotte looked up into Aiden's eyes. His shoulders shook with anger, his fist clenching and unclenching on the table as he stared down at her. His eyes flashed with a flare of glowing green at the edges of his iris. She looked at Lukas, not sure what was happening.

"It's the bond. We don't have the best control of our primal urges when it's new or unsealed."

She swallowed. He wouldn't hurt her, would he?

Aiden jerked in his seat as if she'd struck him.

Seth stood abruptly and strode around the table to stand behind Aiden, grabbing his shoulders and holding them in a firm grip. He lowered his head. "Calm down. She didn't mean it."

"You both are feeding each other's negative emotions," Dominic said, his gaze moving between her and Aiden.

"We've been through this with two pairs already," Lukas said. "First with me and Blaire, then with Riley and Seth. This is all too familiar."

Riley said firmly, "He won't hurt you."

Aiden's gaze snapped to Riley, a divot forming between his eyebrows .

"Aiden, you look five seconds away from tearing her head off," she scolded. "She needs to know that even like this you won't hurt her."

He looked back at Charlotte, and a pain tore through her chest as his features crumpled. "Never," he croaked. It seemed like he had trouble finding the ability to speak.

Licking her lips, she looked up into his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I do genuinely want to know if the reason you did the things you did for me was because of a misplaced need to save anyone and everyone." She shook her head. "Maybe not misplaced, but a need to do those things. It's your nature. You take care of people. Protect the people around you. That doesn't mean you feel something else for them."

The cafeteria had cleared out at some point in their conversation, and she hadn't noticed. Her words sounded so loud in the vacant space.

Aiden took a measured breath, his shoulders lowering as Seth let him go. She could still feel his anger. He didn't like her questioning him. Was he upset she was questioning his feelings, or was he upset she'd put a spotlight on his protector habit? Had she done wrong in confronting him this way in front of the others? It put him in a vulnerable position, but he wouldn't be able to avoid answering her with all eyes on them. She needed those answers.

"You know, I've always joked about being the protector of the group. It's been a joke with everyone, so I go along with it, but I would never go out of my way like this for someone outside of the people in my circle—which you are now a part of, anyway. You weren't part of that when I made the choices I made. You were a friend, but you weren't deep in our world yet, and I didn't think you ever would be, and I still did what I did."

His fist clenched again, and his Adam's apple bobbed, but he pressed on .

"I wasn't even going to tell anyone, not even my best friend, about the mark I saw on your skin—to protect you," he snapped. "Even if it meant I'd never have you in the capacity of a Korrena mate, I was going to hide it to keep you safe."

"No," Riley whispered. "The sickness alone might kill you. Why would you do that?"

"Because I would do anything to keep her safe." Aiden's intense stare met Charlotte's. "Anything. " His gaze moved down to her mouth when she licked her lips, not sure how to respond to his enmity. "I've felt so much for you for such a long time. I can feel the bond growing, but I can feel my true feelings growing the more we're together."

He hit his chest with his fist where his heart resided. "If you can't see how I care about you and that I want you around, then I don't know what to say." His tone grew indignant. "I don't know how to be any clearer. You were made for me, I told you that. I mean that with every fiber of my being."

It was too much.

As much as she tried to process his words, the anger flowing from him to her overwhelmed her senses and she felt like she would drown in the sea of emotions if she didn't get away.

Pushing her chair back, she stood. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I need a moment." Without waiting for any of them to respond, she left her tray and escaped the cafeteria. She needed a quiet place to think.