14. Lorin

Chapter fourteen

Lorin

" K -Kit," Lorin managed to shiver out between one gasping breath and the next.

Images were still playing behind his eyes, scattered and disjointed. He couldn't feel his body anymore, both from the cold and his magic use.

Until insistent hands and arms were tugging at his frigid, slippery skin, trying to pull him from the icy water.

Lorin tried to help himself, but his numb limbs flailed like a newborn deer's, and he was unable to hold himself up or find the strength that had been sapped from him.

He flopped more than climbed over the edge of the creaky tub and would have hit the snowy ground if a pale chest hadn't been there to brace them.

Barely.

It seemed like Kit was struggling, and Lorin was like a foot taller than him to boot, but he stubbornly held on under Lorin's arms and around his back, making small noises in the back of his throat.

Lorin managed to get his feet underneath him, sliding up Kit's body to wrap an arm around his neck for extra support. Lorin's cold, wet chest was plastered to Kit's warm one, leeching heat. Lorin held on tighter through instinct, pressing them closer and tucking his chin over Kit's shoulder as water dripped into his eyes from his soaked hair.

The fact that they were both completely naked didn't register.

He was so cold, and Kit was so warm .

He shuddered and shook in Kit's arms, cold breaths puffing around them as the moon shone down on their shimmering flesh. His toes dug into the earth underneath the snow, making him feel more connected to the world around him than he had ever felt in his life. He was humming with magic. Overflowing.

Kit urged them toward the cabin, knocking Lorin out of his stupor.

The extinguished candles were kicked aside as Kit guided them as quickly and carefully as he could with Lorin koala'd to his front. He couldn't physically let go. His joints had locked like the water had rusted them into this position forever more.

They stumbled over the threshold and Kit slammed the door shut behind them, trying to preserve the little heat that hadn't already escaped. He snatched the dish towel from the kitchen counter to wipe Lorin dry, the rough fabric providing friction, before dragging them toward the sofa where all the blankets were. He knocked Lorin down like a felled tree, landing on top of him and pulling the pile of blankets there over them.

Lorin's nails bit into Kit's soft skin as he continued to shiver in the cocoon.

Kit nosed at him, huffing breaths and distressed noises into the warming air between them as he wiggled on top of him, trying to heat him up.

Lorin closed his eyes, concentrating on trying to get his body back under his own control. He felt like he'd never be warm again.

"S-stupid…i-idea…" he managed to stutter out.

Kit made a noise that sounded like ‘no shit,' but he nuzzled closer, hooking a leg around Lorin's and forcing his hands under Lorin's torso.

Blunt nails scratched at his skin, trying to force feeling back into it, and Lorin arched into the touches. The shivers began to subside little by little as the minutes ticked on.

"I d-don't know…h-how p-people do…ice b-baths regularly. Th-they suck," Lorin found himself stuttering out, his jaw aching from how he was trying to hold it still to talk.

Warm breaths washed over his face, disturbing some of the drying strands of hair hanging over his eyes before fingers batted them aside. A hand slid into the wet hair at his nape, pulling the wetness away from his skin and replacing it with a warm palm.

He sighed in pleasure.

He was never going to take heat for granted again. He was going to build a shrine to the sun. He was going to buy every blanket in the world. He was going to give an award to the person who'd invented thermal socks.

He was going to hug Kit forever and never let go.

His brain paused over that thought.

With the threat of dying from hypothermia or his limbs falling off fading, he started to become more aware of his body. Specifically, how it was pressed against another naked body. A very human and not-fox anymore body.

He opened his eyes and found Kit's glowing gaze in the darkness right in front of him, staring straight at him. He startled slightly, his heart, which had already been working too hard, giving a jolt.

Kit blinked slowly, his lashes brushing his cheeks.

He had stupidly pretty eyes, Lorin realized abruptly. Angular and hooded and fixed in a position that was the definition of bedroom eyes. And the color was out of this world. Identical to his fox form, they were like glowing amber lamps giving off their own promise of heat, and Lorin felt an answering spark in his stomach.

The next breath he shuddered out wasn't because of the temperature.

One word began to surface in his head.

Mate.

It whirled around like a spinning top, bouncing off the insides of his skull and making him dizzy.

What did that mean? He still didn't know. But the implication was enough to set him ablaze, especially now they were in such a compromising position.

He racked his brain for another train of thought, anything to distract himself. "So you're human again. That's…um… Do I call you Kit? Is that your actual name?"

Kit's leg between his twitched, his toes curling against Lorin's calf in a slow stretch before kneading as he nodded in answer.

Lorin choked, trying desperately not to react so obviously. Not when Kit would be able to feel everything. But it was a losing battle. He hadn't been close to someone in so long, especially not someone so obviously beautiful.

Though Lorin was starting to suspect that Kit wouldn't mind at all, considering the way he was arching into him. Fingers walked along Lorin's back, now without the intent to warm him. There was curiosity humming from their tips as they dipped into the valley between his shoulders.

"Kit," he whispered shakily.

He had no idea what was happening.

He also didn't want it to stop.

Which was why when the blanket slipped and the rush of cold outside swept through like an arctic breeze, he cursed out loud. His hair was still largely wet, and it felt like it grew icicles immediately.

Kit made an annoyed sound, checking him over before looking around. He began to unlock their bodies and Lorin felt himself clinging. But Kit, just like when in his fox form, wouldn't be deterred once he was set on something.

He climbed up and away from him, still completely bare and uncaring as he walked to the small metal fireplace in the corner that had been largely ignored save for cleaning. It had a single spindly, crooked flume that led up to the ceiling, and a stack of aged logs next to it. Because the cabin had electric heating, it had continued to gather dust in the corner, but Kit crouched down next to it now to stoke a small fire.

Lorin sat up to watch him, wrapping the blankets tighter around himself and shivering again now that Kit's warmth was gone.

He watched Kit move around for a few moments, the fumbling way he touched everything like he wasn't used to his hands anymore.

Which was another thing.

"Are you fixed?" he croaked out.

Kit turned to look over his shoulder from where he was piling more logs. He didn't speak, but his eyes and mouth turned down a little. It certainly didn't seem like the expression of someone who believed they were cured. The fact that it seemed like he couldn't speak was enough of an indicator before he shook his head.

"Did something go wrong with the shift?" he asked, still shivering lightly. "Is that why you can't talk?"

Kit paused his movements and cupped his throat, pulling a pained expression.

Lorin felt worry buzz through his veins. "Does it hurt?"

Kit nodded and turned back to the fire.

Lorin frowned, trying to think of anything he could do. Maybe he could find some medicine somewhere. He tried to get up off the sofa, but Kit hurried over to push him back down by both shoulders.

Lorin stared up at Kit with wide eyes. He was now backlit by an orange glow, making him seem even more ethereal.

Lorin swallowed. Hard.

Kit climbed back on top of him with vulpine grace. Lorin could only gape at him as he wormed his way into his lap and under the blankets again, just like he did when he was in his fox form. He made a satisfied sound once he was settled, only a single thin layer over Lorin's lap separating them. Lorin was helpless to do anything but cradle his waist and contemplate how his life had led to this moment.

The air was already noticeably heating up with the crackle of the fire, and with Kit back in his arms, he forgot about the chill lingering on his skin and hair.

It was hard not to get lost in it. To remember what his goal had been when he went outside with the ill-informed plan to cast a spell that was dangerous and well above his ability level. Kit squirming on his lap and tickling fingers along his collarbones wasn't helping anything.

"I saw things when I was casting that spell," Lorin said, fighting for rationality. "From your head, I think."

Kit made a grumpy face at him, dark eyebrows curving down. He hit him on the shoulder like he was telling him off.

Lorin winced. "I'm sorry. I thought once I got in there, I could, like…mentally ask permission."

Kit rolled his eyes like he was exasperated that Lorin wasn't getting why he was angry.

"I'm sorry for…"

Kit's sharp eyes pinned him, as if daring him to get it wrong again.

"…whatever it is that I did."

Kit snorted but didn't punish him again. In fact, he went back to pawing at his skin, running fingers over his collarbones and dangerously close to his nipples.

It was so distracting.

"Look, while you're human we should try to work this out," Lorin said, trying to catch Kit's mischievous fingers so they could have this important conversation.

Kit leaned closer as if to use his mouth instead.

Lorin panicked and let go of his hands, shrinking back with his pulse pounding.

He was pinned against the back of the sofa, Kit hovering over him and giving him zero space or rest. In fact, he laid himself on Lorin's front like he was a bed, stretching his arms over Lorin's shoulders and up over the headrest. He smiled at him, his sharp incisors glinting in the firelight.

Lorin tried to breathe. "Look…I know we have this whole…mate…thing going on…"

Kit tilted his head at him, blinking those eyes and making him lose his train of thought.

"You're stupidly pretty."

Kit grinned and Lorin's face burned.

"I didn't mean to say that out loud. We're getting so off track."

Kit stretched against him again, arching his back like he didn't agree in the slightest. Lorin closed his eyes and shook his head, praying to the moon for help. His fingers itched to grab, to fold into the dainty dip of that waist and see if they could reach all the way around.

"The things I saw!" he shouted, to drown out his own thoughts. "Were they real?"

Kit didn't move again, and Lorin peeked a single eye open cautiously. He found Kit pressing his lips together in a flat line.

"Is that a yes?" Lorin asked.

Kit sighed through his nose and nodded, once.

Lorin nodded back, trying to sort through the scattered fragments. It was hard to put together, the puzzle had so many missing pieces. But there were a few things he was certain of.

"It was witches. That did this to you."

Kit bared his teeth in a mean way, growling in his throat. Lorin didn't blame him. What he couldn't work out was why .

"Why would any witch want to force a shifter into their animal form?" he wondered out loud. "What was the goal? And how did they do it? I've never heard of anything like that. It's barbaric."

Kit sighed and shook his head like he wasn't entirely sure either. He looked tired, and Lorin ran a thumb under his left eye before he could stop himself. The tip of his nail brushed Kit's bottom lashes, fanning them, the dark stain on his skin contrasting with Kit's translucent skin perfectly.

A new mark had appeared on his thumb, clear and defined. A small rhombus, with a line running through it, bent at the ends to form an arrow-like shape. Lorin had no idea what it meant, but he did like the look of it. For whatever reason, it felt like it belonged on his skin.

Kit leaned into the comfort of Lorin's palm, like he did whenever Lorin petted him as a fox. Utterly trusting. Needy for affection. It wiped all thoughts of the mark from Lorin's mind.

How long had it been for him? Without hope or understanding. Without love or kindness.

It made Lorin's chest ache.

"You lost your family, right? You don't know where they went?" he said softly.

Kit's countenance turned sad.

"You can't track them down as a fox?"

Kit shook his head, looking down.

"I'll help you find them," Lorin said, grasping his chin to make their gazes meet again. "I'll help you fix this."

Kit met his eyes with amber ones full of trust. It floored Lorin a little, but he could feel the connection between them, bright and unbending in his chest. They had one another, and for once in his life, Lorin saw a path set clearly before him.

Nothing was more important.

Kit suddenly made a pained sound and Lorin held him tightly in fear as he searched for the reason. "What? What is it?"

Kit pressed his forehead to Lorin's, grimacing. When his eyes opened again they were glowing even brighter than normal. A look down saw skin turning to fur.

He was shifting again.

Lorin found himself clutching him closer like he could stop it, desperately trying to hold on to him.

It was useless.

Kit rolled off him and Lorin watched as his body shrank and morphed until he was a fox again, curled up in a panting ball at his side. Lorin gathered him up in gentle arms, cradling him close.

"I'll fix this. I promise," he whispered into his fur.

Kit

He hadn't thought seeing someone put him first like that would have affected him to this degree, but watching Lorin pour everything he had into looking for an answer for what had happened to Kit was making his head spin.

Lorin spent hours every day leafing through book after book after book. Some he checked out of the library again, shocking the librarian when she realized none of the books he'd picked were actually in their system, despite being found on the library shelves.

Kit shared her confusion, if he was being honest, along with the fact that all of the books were empty. Not one had a single letter written in it, and it was beyond Kit's understanding. But he had no way to convey that to Lorin, so he just watched as he hunched over the books, jotting things down in his notebook and marking the pages he clearly felt were more interesting than others.

He had also received a package wrapped in nondescript brown paper and addressed to Lorin and their little cabin. Kit hadn't seen the shipper's name, but the package held a very distinct herbal and powerful scent he had only ever smelled on one other person. The Owner of the Magic Shop.

Kit remembered the man had promised Lorin he'd look into the books he was interested in and he'd held true to his word. About a dozen books had been sent Lorin's way. Each of them looked old enough to be falling apart, yet were held together by the pure magic pouring off them. They differed in size, but they all seemed to be leather bound, with ornate cover images and titles.

By the time Lorin got to those, Kit had kind of lost interest in trying to read for himself because there was just no way to do that. Lorin clearly saw something he as a fox couldn't. That was the conclusion he'd come up with, because nothing else made any sort of sense. The books had been in the library or the Magic Shop, so clearly they were actual books. Lorin was reading them, so there was obviously something there. He reminded himself to give it a go the next time he was human.

He opted to curl up next to Lorin while he did his thing. Well…curl on top of Lorin, would be more correct, because Kit was pretty much addicted to Lorin's touch now. Since he'd felt it on his bare, human skin, he couldn't get enough of it, that human instinct seeping through the barrier. The mate pull toward Lorin was now almost fully formed since they'd spent time together as humans, and the fox could feel the shift as clearly as anything else.

Kit had had no idea it would feel so different now that he had met Lorin as his human self. As a fox he'd felt drawn to him, tied to him, happy to be close to him and be kept safe by him. Now, with the idea of what his human side felt like, it was stronger. More present and more solid than ever. And it pushed. It demanded that Kit stay close. To protect Lorin. To make sure he was cared for and happy and fed and warm.

Kit took to his newfound obsession in the way only a determined mate slash familiar knew how. He glued himself to Lorin and refused to leave his side unless strictly necessary, and the necessities all revolved around making sure Lorin was okay.

Kit would nudge him to eat when he felt too much time had passed between meals. He'd paw at the glass of water Lorin seemed to forget existed to make sure he was hydrated. He'd sit stubbornly on top of Lorin's books when he felt Lorin needed a break, and he'd whine and yip and argue as best as he could when he decided Lorin needed sleep.

He didn't like the dark circles under Lorin's eyes or the way his eyelids seemed to constantly be at half-mast.

Yes, Kit wanted help, but not at the expense of his beautiful mate.

And…Lorin was beautiful.

Kit thought so as a fox. He really did. But it was nothing compared to how Lorin looked to Kit in his human form. He'd finally had enough time to take him in, to appreciate the details that made him up.

Soft, dark hair curling around Lorin's face and tickling his neck. Those deep, mysterious eyes, almost as dark as the night, that seemed like they could see right through to Kit's soul. They were framed by long lashes Kit wanted to feel fluttering on his skin. Those elegant fingers, now marked more and more, giving Lorin substance, giving him power. The sharp nails that felt so good when they brushed through Kit's fur. In whatever form he was in, it always felt good.

He didn't think he'd ever have enough of Lorin.

He couldn't wait to be human again, and this time, he realized, it wasn't even about his shift. The list of his priorities had changed to include Lorin. Everything Kit wanted now was somehow tied to Lorin. And he couldn't wait to be human again to show it to him.

In the meantime though, he'd opted to redouble his efforts in showing him as a fox would.

He scented Lorin constantly, licking his neck and grinning when Lorin pretended he didn't like it. He rubbed their noses together, nipped at the tips of Lorin's fingers, and nuzzled under the palm he knew held the outline of his fox form on Lorin's skin. He initiated play fights, urging Lorin to chase him and going belly up once he caught him. It was invigorating and provided a small break from the serious clouds hanging over them.

He also tried to find little gifts for Lorin around their cabin. The woods didn't really have a lot of options, but he had found a few things he felt were very nice. He'd brought Lorin a really pretty pinecone, a bright orange gardening glove, and half a brown tote bag before he'd struck gold.

He'd found a shoelace that had actual, colorful beads on one end. It hadn't seemed like it had even been lost in the woods for long, because the beads were still shiny and reflective. He was very proud of that one.

Lorin seemed to like his gifts, too. He kept them all in a little basket on the coffee table, displayed for everyone to see. Not that anyone came to visit them, but the thought was there. If someone were to come and sit in their living room, they'd see Kit's gifts and they'd ask about them. Then Lorin would smile and tell them his mate had found and brought those things to him.

Kit loved that thought.

Overall, he felt like life was falling slowly into place. Not exactly in the way he had dreamed of in the years he'd spent wandering around alone, but definitely in a way that would lead them both to something good in the end.

Kit was sure of it.