Chapter 7

Mav

Nothing I'd conjured up in my head could have prepared me for how good Eli's lips felt. Every pass of his lips over mine was brief and hesitant and while I ached to taste more of him, my brain maintained a shred of sanity as his lack of experience became more evident. I could tell he wanted more as his mouth started to brush mine with more urgency and his fingers dug into the back of my neck where he was still holding on to me, but it wasn't until he separated from me just the tiniest bit and brokenly whispered, "I don't know how to do this," that my suspicion was confirmed.

He'd never kissed anyone before.

A rush of primal need surged through me as I realized I was this first for him, but I tamped down on the need to slam my mouth down on his and claim him the way I wanted. "That was fucking amazing," I responded and it was the complete and absolute truth. I ghosted a kiss over his trembling lips before saying, "Can I show you?"

Eli clearly understood what I was asking because he nodded. He squeezed his eyes closed as I kissed him again and when I ran my tongue over the seam of his lips, he let out a startled gasp and reflexively opened his mouth even as he pulled back from me. With the door at his back he had nowhere to go, but instead of plunging my tongue into his mouth like I wanted, I kept up the tender kisses. Every time I gave his supple mouth the tiniest of licks, he sucked in a breath. But instead of closing his lips, he let them part just a little more each time and when I finally dipped inside, he let out a big sigh and I felt his free hand come up to rest on my shoulder, the Spiderman doll pressed against my shoulder blade.

I bit back the rush of lust that went through me as the sweetness of Eli's taste dripped over my tongue and focused instead on giving him what he needed. The first time I stroked my tongue over his, he flinched, but by the third and fourth time, his tongue was seeking mine out. Within a matter of minutes, Eli was hungrily kissing me back and as I experimentally drew back, he followed until he was pressed flush against my body. I wrapped my arms around him to hold him in place as I finally kissed him the way I'd been longing to and he eagerly met every thrust of my tongue. My cock filled fast and when I tried to put some space between our bodies so we could both catch our breaths, Eli refused to release me and his tongue was pushing into my mouth. My good intentions fled as my body lit up like a brush fire and I slammed Eli back against the door and held him there with my body. I grabbed his ass with my hands and lifted him enough so his mouth was level with mine and I used my hips to hold him against the wood as I began thrusting against him.

The excited, needy whimpers spilling from Eli's throat were killing me and if it hadn't been for a catcall coming from the street, I would have been reaching for his zipper then and there. Eli and I separated long enough so that we could both look towards the front of the building where a guy walking his dog was watching us and giving us a thumbs up. While the man continued on his way, the spell was broken and Eli tugged free of my grip. I expected him to panic or try to escape me, but instead he leaned back against the door and brushed his fingers over his mouth. His eyes were bright with desire and something else, but before I could question him, he turned around and unlocked the door. I was sure he was going to tell me he'd changed his mind about dinner, but instead of closing the door, he left it open as he walked into the apartment. I followed him in and watched him drop down to wrap his arms around Baby before getting up and going to the kitchen. Baby came to greet me and while I ran my fingers over his sleek body, I kept my eyes on Eli who was pulling things from the refrigerator.

He finally stopped and looked at me and then smiled. It wasn't a smile I'd ever seen from him before, but I liked it and I couldn't help but grin myself. I should have been regretting the kiss because knowing what I now knew about Eli, I was even more certain that any kind of relationship, physical or otherwise, would mean something more to him than it would to someone else…someone like me.

But I couldn't bring myself to wish it hadn't happened. Even now, I was barely refraining from striding up to him and finishing what we'd started.

"Do you want something to drink?" Eli asked. "I have beer, soda, water."

"A beer would be great," I said as I closed the door behind me. Eli handed me the bottle of beer and our eyes held for a moment before he dropped his gaze and started working on dinner. "What are you making?" I asked.

"Chicken Enchiladas. Is that okay?"

"Sounds great," I said. "Can I help?"

"No," Eli responded, casting me a look over his shoulder. "It's pretty easy to make. And besides," – he shot me another quick grin – "It's my mother's secret recipe. If I told you what was in it, I'd have to kill you."

I chuckled and said, "Fair enough." I dropped down into one of the kitchen chairs and focused my attention on the big dog who dropped his massive head in my lap. "How did you end up naming a dog like this Baby?" I asked.

"He came with the name," Eli said as he worked. "He used to belong to Dom. His wife named him that."

"Dom gave him to you?"

Eli nodded. "After Dom found me…"

His voice trailed off for a moment and I saw him pause what he was doing. But then he seemed to shake off whatever had brought him down and said, "After Dom found me, I started having panic attacks. Baby was able to bring me out of them. When Dom brought my mom back to Seattle and helped us find a place to live, he told me he didn't have time to give Baby all the attention he needed and asked me if I'd take care of him for a while."

"He sounds like a great guy," I said softly.

"He is…they all are."

"They?"

"Dom, Logan, Dom's brothers, their partners and kids – it's a big family," Eli said with a small laugh.

"I'll bet you missed them when you left."

Eli glanced at me. "You know about that?"

I was glad that he didn't appear angry at the reminder of the research I'd done on him. "I know the basics. Your mom got married and you left for college a couple years later. Johns Hopkins, right?"

Eli nodded. "Yeah, they had a great pre-med program."

"And a great medical school. Why come back here to go to medical school? I mean, you got accepted to one of the finest medical schools in the country and your mom and her husband had moved to DC…"

There was a slight pause as Eli worked, but he didn't look at me and it took him a while to answer. He finally said, "It's a different world out there."

I waited for him to expand on his statement, but he remained mute as he started chopping several green onions.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Okay," Eli answered quietly. I hated hearing the reservation in his voice.

"The guy who stopped by here the other day…Brennan. Is he your boyfriend?"

Eli stopped what he was doing and turned to face me, butcher knife in hand. "What?"

Jealousy wasn't a great color on me, but the idea of Eli and the good looking young man together had been driving me crazy from the moment Brennan had entered the apartment like he'd had every right to do so. And while I'd suspected I'd been the first one to ever kiss Eli, I wasn't completely sure and it didn't mean he wasn't pursuing a relationship with the other man. I dropped my eyes to focus on the hand I was still running over Baby's head. "I mean, it's okay if he is. That kiss-"

"Please don't," Eli suddenly interjected and I snapped my eyes up at the desperate plea.

"Don't what?" I asked.

"Don't say it shouldn't have happened." Eli walked towards me, the knife still in his hand. He finally remembered the knife when he reached me and lowered it to the table.

It was what I'd been about to say, but not because I meant it. But because I'd been trying to pass it off as something inconsequential. I straightened in the chair and barely noticed when Baby removed his head and flopped to the floor near my feet. "Why not?" I whispered as I bit back the urge to reach for Eli who was standing so close, his legs were nearly touching my knees.

"Just don't, okay?"

I nodded. "Okay." And then I was reaching for him and when I tugged him onto my lap, he came willingly and without hesitation. Neither of us spoke as we just stared at each other and I wasn't sure which of us moved first, but when our mouths finally met, I felt all the tension drain from my body. I let my hands coast up and down Eli's back as his fingers threaded through my hair. The kiss was deep but unhurried and we took turns exploring each other's mouths. Eli finally pulled back, his face flushed with color.

"Brennan is a friend…a brother really," Eli murmured. "There's no one…no boyfriend. There never has been."

I shouldn't have been glad to hear that, but I couldn't deny the thrill that went through me. But even as my body ached to take more of what Eli was very clearly offering, warning bells began ringing in my head. He'd basically confirmed my guess that he wasn't the kind of guy to just fuck around and since I wasn't the kind of guy to do anything but fuck around, there was no place for us to go. I was trying to figure out the right thing to say when Eli tensed up and I had no doubt he'd picked up on my hesitation. He slipped off my lap and I instantly missed the feel of his warm body .

"Are you okay if I make the enchiladas a little spicy?" Eli asked casually as he grabbed the knife off the table and returned to his preparation.

"Sure," I managed to say, but my brain was working in overdrive as I realized how badly I'd fucked this up. My plan had been to just watch Eli from a distance as I'd been doing from the moment I'd dropped him off three days earlier. The rental car had made surveillance easier and had allowed me to grab a couple of hours of sleep here and there while Eli was volunteering at the hospital. Since I couldn't have eyes on him in the hospital, I'd asked Hawke to make sure Eli didn't walk unaccompanied to his car each day and while the other man hadn't questioned my request, I hadn't missed the curiosity in his voice when he'd agreed. I hadn't told Ronan or anyone for that matter that I'd forgone my vacation so that I could keep eyes on Eli since I didn't want to have to explain my motives to anyone. Hell, I didn't want to have to explain them to myself. But when Hawke had called me an hour ago to tell me how upset Eli had seemed after he'd told Eli he wasn't sure if I was coming back to Seattle, I hadn't been able to stop myself from interacting with him again.

The tension in the air was stiff and awkward and I was desperate to get Eli talking again. And if I was lucky, smiling too.

"Why the volunteering?"

Eli glanced at me and I clarified, "Why are you volunteering in the ICS unit at the hospital?"

"I was thinking about pursuing pediatric oncology as a specialty. One of my professors at Johns Hopkins suggested I work with the kids a little bit before deciding for sure. Mentally and emotionally speaking, it's one of the hardest specialties out there."

"So why pursue it?" I asked.

Eli paused in what he was doing, but didn't face me. "Kids like Matty, they have to be so strong, you know? They need as many people in their corner as they can get. I want to be one of those people."

I glanced at the Spiderman doll Eli had put down on the kitchen table .

"That kid," I said with a chuckle as I reached for the doll.

I caught Eli watching me as I studied the doll. "How do you know him? Matty and his family, I mean."

"Hawke and I work together," I hedged.

Eli turned to face me, but instead of asking what I did, he said, "Hawke said Matty might be in danger."

"It's just a precaution. Chances are the friends of the guys who tried to hurt him and Tate and Hawke won't try anything. We're just covering all the bases."

"Were you there?"

Since I had to be careful about how much I said, I merely nodded. But inside my gut was churning because to this day, the memory of having to throw my knife just inches over Matty's head so it could divert the path of the bullet that had been meant for Hawke left me cold inside. Hawke had done his part to make sure Matty didn't move, but it had still been way too close.

"That kid idolizes you," Eli said and I was surprised when he came up to me and took the doll from my hand and examined it. "I like how he calls you Thor."

"I know," I said with a laugh. "It's the hair," I added.

Eli didn't join me in the joke. Instead he looked at my hair and then dropped his eyes to mine. "No, it's not."

My insides tightened at that and I was tempted to drag him down on my lap again. Better yet, I wanted to lay him down on the table and feast on every part of his body.

"Why did he give him to you?" I asked as I motioned to the doll in the hopes of distracting myself from my thoughts.

"I think he thought I was sad."

"Were you?"

Eli's eyes shifted to me for a moment before returning to the doll. "He's observant, isn't he? For someone so young." That was all I got before Eli carried the doll over to the kitchen counter and set him near the coffee pot. We didn't speak again until he'd put the food in the oven. He grabbed himself a beer from the fridge and dropped down in the chair next to mine. "Can I ask you something? "

I nodded.

"The words you spoke to me in the garage. What language was that?"

I stiffened at the unexpected question. It was a part of my life I never talked about and even the idea of bringing it up now made me feel sick. Eli seemed to notice my discomfort because he quickly said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that." His body went stiff with tension and I could see him shutting down so when he made a move to get up, I grabbed his hand to keep him from moving.

I didn't know why, but I wanted to give him something of myself. I just hadn't thought it would be this part that I'd let him see.