Chapter 4

Eli

I was tempted to not answer the knock on the door, especially since I had a good guess as to who it was. Humiliation blazed through me as I wiped away the tears that I hadn't been able to stem from the moment I'd realized that I'd made a terrible mistake after Mav had told me he didn't want my money.

The way he'd looked at me as I'd finally woken up from the daze I'd been in…

I shook my head and climbed off the loveseat. Baby was already eagerly waiting by the door, his big butt wiggling in anticipation. As I approached the door, I used the hem of my shirt to wipe my face, though I knew the move would do little to hide what I'd been doing for the last couple of hours.

I tried to force myself to relax as I turned the knob, but it was a wasted effort because the second I saw Mav on the other side of the door, I was back in that garage, knees on the dirty, grease covered floor and Mav's stiff cock pulsing in my hand. I opened the door wider to let him in because I knew he would be full of questions and I doubted he would go anywhere until he had the answers he was seeking .

And I had no fucking clue what to tell him. Certainly not the truth.

But instead of coming in, Mav remained outside and studied me intently. Baby was sniffing Mav's hands excitedly, but Mav kept his eyes on me when he said, "Do you still want to learn how to fight?"

The question caught me off guard and it took me several long seconds to nod since my voice had escaped me.

"There's a gym at my hotel. Go change into something loose-fitting and meet me downstairs."

And with that, Mav turned and trotted down the stairs.

"Baby," I murmured and the dog instantly came back into the apartment. I was reeling from the fact that Mav hadn't asked me about the events in the garage, but my desperation was still high so I hurried to my room and changed into a pair of athletic pants. I searched out my sneakers and dragged them on as quickly as I could even as my stomach rolled with anxiety.

I wasn't a particularly athletic guy and never had been, but the events of last week and the terror of what had happened the previous night had me desperate to learn to defend myself. I gave Baby a quick pat before locking the door behind me and hurrying down the stairs. I slowed as I rounded the house and saw Mav leaning against his big motorcycle. I would never get used to how gorgeous he was or the effect he had on me besides just intimidating the hell out of me. It wasn't like I hadn't had my fair share of attention from other men. Between my leaner build and borderline effeminate features, I'd often attracted men from all walks of life and while I'd used my looks to my advantage when I'd been younger, it wasn't something I had ever been particularly proud of. But something in the way Mav looked at me felt different. Yes, the desire was there – I wasn't completely blind after all. But there was something else too. I felt it even now as he watched me approach and although I was nervous about spending time with him, especially considering what I'd done to him a couple of hours ago, I was also kind of looking forward to it too. Though I wasn't really sure why .

But the thought was short-lived when Mav held a motorcycle helmet out to me.

"I can just take my own car," I stuttered as the thought of climbing on the huge bike behind Mav made me both hot and cold at the same time. When he'd held me earlier in the garage as I'd tried to make my escape, I'd been too upset at first to notice how good his body had felt against mine. But then I'd heard his voice in my ear and while I hadn't understood the foreign language he'd been speaking to me at the time, just the sensation of his voice rumbling against my back had been comforting.

"This won't work if you don't trust me, Eli," Mav said quietly as he continued to hold the helmet out.

I swallowed hard. I knew he was right, but he had no idea what he was asking of me. Being able to escape was all I had.

Mav didn't budge as he held my gaze and I automatically began gnawing on my lip before I realized what I was doing. I forced myself to move forward and take the helmet from him. It wasn't a full face helmet so it was easy to put on and I fiddled with the strap as I watched Mav climb onto the bike and start it up. I seriously considered calling the whole thing off, but then I remembered the terror and helplessness that had spiked through me a week ago and again last night and that had me striding up to the bike. I put my hand on Mav's arm to steady myself as I climbed behind him. The raw power I could feel between my legs was intimidating, but it had nothing on the sight of the broad back in front of me. Every time Mav shifted, his muscles rippled beneath his T-shirt. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with my hands, but before I could even find a place to put them to brace myself, Mav turned slightly and grabbed my right hand. He tugged it forward until it was wrapped around his waist. I nearly swallowed my tongue as I felt the hard muscles of his abdomen beneath my palm and to my own surprise, I was eager to wrap my other arm around him as well.

The bike shifted and began to roll forward and as much as I tried to maintain the distance between us, the movement of the bike had me sliding closer to Mav so I could get a better grip on him. The result was every part of my lower body pressed up against him. Thighs, ass, waist…there was no escaping. And I found for the first time in my life, I didn't care. I didn't even question what made me lean into him so that I could rest my chest along his back and my cheek on the back of his shoulder. I just allowed myself to feel something I hadn't felt in years.

Freedom.

I was sweating long before Mav even began breaking down the elements of the first move he was going to teach me.

Mav had been surprisingly quiet once we'd reached the hotel. He'd escorted me to the gym and instructed me to get warmed up by jumping on the elliptical machine while he went to his room and changed. He'd been back within ten minutes wearing a pair of navy blue long athletic shorts and a white T-shirt and when he'd climbed onto the treadmill next to my machine, it had taken every ounce of concentration to maintain my pace. He'd started running on the machine within a few minutes and I hadn't been able to stop myself from sneaking peeks at his muscled body as it powered forward.

Fifteen minutes passed before he stopped his machine and mine and while he'd barely broken a sweat, I was seriously worried I was going to pass out. Mav tossed me a towel and I followed him to a corner of the gym where there was a clear area. I tried not to let my eyes fall to his ass, but I couldn't help myself and when I finally looked up, I realized there was a wall of mirrors in front of us and Mav could have easily seen me checking him out. But if he'd noticed my perusal, he didn't say anything. In fact, he was all business as he began breaking down the different steps and while that should have comforted me, it didn't.

I was doing pretty well with following Mav's instructions, but when it came time to actually practice the first move from beginning to end, all my fear came back because Mav had to pretend to grab me around the throat so I could break free of him. The second his big hand closed around my neck, I felt pain start to spread throughout my chest and every breath I took fell short .

"Eli," Mav said gently. "Look at me."

I barely heard him over the roaring in my ears, but when he repeated the order, his voice heavier, I opened my eyes which I hadn't even realized I'd closed at some point. Even though Mav was still holding me by the throat, just seeing his face immediately helped ease some of the panic that was trying to consume me.

"Break it down," Mav said firmly.

I managed a nod and concentrated on all the steps I'd just spent the better part of an hour learning. It seemed like every one was in slow motion, but when I finally reached the last step to knock Mav's hand loose, he released his hold on me.

"Good," was all he said and then his hand came up to grab me again. "Again."

I didn't give myself time to think about my fear and managed to get through the moves again, this time just a little bit faster. I knew in a real situation that I wasn't putting enough force behind the steps to actually reach the end result of escaping the grip on my throat, but the more I repeated them, the more empowered I felt. By the twentieth or thirtieth time, a fierce surge of energy was rushing through me and I began to get excited by the prospect of Mav's hand closing around my throat. Over and over I knocked his hand away, not caring if I was throwing too much force behind my blows. When Mav finally stepped back to indicate we were done, my lungs were burning and my skin was flushed with heat and sweat.

But that wasn't the only thing.

I was crying.

I was fucking crying and I had no idea why.

And it felt amazing.

"I…I…" I started to say to Mav in way of explanation, but shook my head because I had no idea how to explain how good I felt. He probably thought I'd completely lost my mind.

But instead of looking at me like he was wondering what kind of head case he'd hooked up with, Mav stepped forward and brought his hand up to gently cup the bruised side of my face. His thumb stroked through the track of tears that were streaming down my face. And then it was dragging the moisture of my tears down to my mouth. All my excitement and pride settled in my gut and exploded into something bigger…something that had me wishing I could find out what his lips would feel like against mine.

We stood there like that for several long seconds until a door opening somewhere jolted us both and Mav dropped his hand. "Nice work. Let's work on another one."

And with that, whatever moment there'd been between us disappeared and Mav went back to how he'd been when we'd started this whole thing. Distant, clinical…a stranger.

We spent another hour in the gym going through the four moves Mav wanted me to learn and while I hadn't had another cathartic episode, my body was buzzing with excitement. While I wasn't ready to take on someone of Mav's size and strength, at least now maybe I had a fighting chance. I just hoped my instinct to fight would kick in even when my brain sought to escape into the world I'd created so long ago where nothing could touch me.

Mav grabbed us a couple of waters from a small refrigerator on one side of the gym and I watched as he took several long swallows from his. I could feel my body reacting to the sight of the muscles in his neck working and I actually had to turn away from him so he wouldn't see my dick swelling behind the thin material of my pants.

"You mind if I take a quick shower before I take you home?"

"No," I murmured. "I could just call a cab if it's an inconvenience."

"Don't worry about it," was all Mav said as he threw the empty bottle into the recyclable container next to the refrigerator. "Why don't you come on upstairs to my room? You can watch TV or something. And if you want to shower-" Mav's voice dropped off as his eyes fell on me and I realized he must have seen the fear that I couldn't hide.

Shame went through me at the knee jerk reaction. If Mav had wanted to do something to me, he would have done it a long time ago. But I didn't know how to explain to him that it had nothing to do with him.

"You know what, never mind. I'll have the front desk call you a cab. "

Mav turned to go and I felt a moment of panic that it would be the last time I'd get to talk to him if I didn't do something. I grabbed his arm and stepped in front of him. "Mav, wait, please."

He stopped, but he didn't look happy about it. I tried to search for the right words to say, but I couldn't figure out how to tell him that the events of my past still shaped everything I did today…that in so many ways, I was still the same fifteen-year-old kid who'd never been kissed but had been fucked more times than he could count and who knew how to suck cock like a pro…because that's what he'd been.

But I couldn't tell him that. Because I didn't want to see the disgust in his eyes that I knew would be there if he knew the truth about me…that or worse, he'd look at me the way all those men had looked at me. Like I was garbage. Theirs to use and throw away when they were done with me.

"Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" I finally blurted out.

I was as surprised by the offer as Mav seemed to be, but the idea didn't terrify me like it should have. "Um, I could cook for you…at my place. As a thank you for today."

Mav was quiet for so long that I began to shift uncomfortably in place. I was on the verge of telling him to forget it when he said, "I'd love to."

The relief was overwhelming and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my lips. "Okay," I managed to get out.

"Did you want to wait down here or come up to my room?" Mav ventured.

I took a deep breath and said, "I'll come up."

Mav nodded and I followed him from the gym. We didn't speak as we got onto the elevator and while my nerves had started to return, the fear wasn't there like I would have expected. I lost track of what floor we were on because I'd spent most of the elevator ride staring at my shoes, but when the doors slid open, I followed Mav to his room which turned out to be a suite that included a kitchen and living space .

"Make yourself at home," Mav said. "There's food and drinks in the fridge. I'll just be a couple of minutes."

I nodded and watched him head towards the bedroom which was separated from the rest of the living area by a set of double sliding doors. I assumed the bathroom was attached to the bedroom. I was about to turn to try and find the remote for the TV when I saw Mav reach for the hem of his shirt as he neared the bedroom. I actually had to stifle a moan when the shirt came off and revealed a tattoo of two huge snakes, their heads curled over the backs of Mav's shoulder muscles and their winding bodies covering the expanse of his back and disappearing beneath his pants. That tattoo on its own stole my breath, but add in the way Mav's muscles flexed as he moved and I actually had to grab a hold of the kitchen counter to steady myself.

Fuck, the guy was gorgeous.

Instead of watching TV like I planned, I went to the wall of windows and took in the sight before me. Mav's room was high enough that he had a view of the city and the mountains beyond the water. While I'd spent most of my younger years in Seattle along with my mother and older sister, it wasn't this Seattle that I'd grown up in. As an illegal immigrant, my mother hadn't had access to good paying jobs or an education, so most of the places we'd lived had been in run down neighborhoods that were far from the tourist filled city. But as hard as my mother had worked to give my sister Elena and me everything we'd needed, she'd never failed to make us a family first. There'd never been any doubt in her mind that Elena and I would have everything she hadn't had herself…a stable home environment, college, careers. And we'd been on track until the day INS had shown up at our door and taken her away. One minute we'd been eating dinner, the next our mother was gone and my eighteen-year-old sister had been left to find a way to care for both of us. And then Elena was gone too…

"Hey, you okay?"

I turned to see Mav watching me from the doorway to his bedroom. He was wearing a pair of jeans, black boots and a black T-shirt. His damp hair hung just past his shoulders, the ends curling into loose ringlets that should have looked strange on a man but, in fact, looked sexy as hell.

"Yeah," I said, my voice sounding rough. I pushed the thoughts of my mother and sister away. "I was just thinking about what to make for dinner."

I had no doubt Mav could tell I was lying, but fortunately he didn't call me on it.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked as I began walking towards the door.

"In a second," Mav said. "I want to talk to you about something first."

"Okay," I said, my body going on alert at the reserved tone in his voice.

Mav ran his fingers through his hair and lowered his eyes for a moment as if struggling to find the right words to say. When he finally lifted them, I felt my heart clench because I suspected he was finally going to ask me about what had happened in the garage.

So I was completely unprepared when he said, "Eli, the man who assaulted you…was it Dominic Barretti?"