Chapter 25

Mav

"Do you think I should watch it?" Eli asked quietly, his voice rough. We'd been lying on the bed for more than an hour with me leaning against the headboard and Eli resting his head on my chest. Jace and Caleb had moved to the room next door to give Eli some space to process what had happened to him, but Jace had left his laptop on the nightstand for me so I wouldn't have to search out mine.

Eli had let everything out in that bathroom and I'd been completely helpless to do anything but hold him. When he'd finally calmed down, I'd helped him to his feet and we'd gotten into bed fully dressed and with just the small light next to the bed turned on. My hope had been that Eli would fall asleep so that I could watch the videos on my own using the ear buds I had stashed in my bag, but I suspected the stress was keeping him too wound up to get the rest he so badly needed.

"I honestly don't know," I admitted. The idea of Eli having to witness what had been done to him was unbearable to me, but I was also worried that a part of him would never truly believe what Jace had told him. His stepfather's doctored video had had a profound impact on him and his brain might not be able to rid itself of those images without proof that they were all lies. I let my fingers trail down Eli's spine as I tried to deal with everything that had happened in the past 48 hours. A few hours ago, I'd been contemplating if I could really have the life I'd been too afraid to hope for in the years since I'd left my life on the reservation behind me.

But now?

Now I knew.

And I was fucking terrified.

"I lied to you," I whispered.

Eli tensed, but didn't move away from me like I'd expected him to.

"When?" he asked softly.

"On the plane. You asked me if I wouldn't even try to love you," I said, my voice catching in my throat. "I lied when I said no because I already knew then that I was in love with you." I swallowed hard. "I love you, Eli. More than you'll ever know."

The fingers Eli had been using to draw circles on my chest stilled, but when he didn't respond otherwise, all my old fears came rushing back. But I forced them down and said, "I know the timing's not great and that the pain I've caused you is unforgivable, but I can't lose you. If there's even a chance that you want to be with me-"

That was as far as I got because Eli leaned up at the same time that his hand snagged the back of my neck. His mouth closed over mine and when I let out the pent up air I'd been holding on to, his tongue slipped past my lips. The kiss was over too soon, but when Eli whispered, "I love you, Mav. So much," against my lips, I felt the relief in every cell in my body. I rolled Eli until he was flat on his back and he instantly wound his arms around my neck.

"You refused to leave me," I murmured.

Eli tucked my hair behind my ear before trailing his finger over my jaw. "You make me a little less broken."

I kissed him long and deep before saying, "I'm going to make you whole again, Eli. I'm going to show you how perfect you are and I'm going to love you for the rest of my life."

Tears slipped down Eli's face even as he smiled tremulously and said, "You're never going to be alone again, Mav. I'm never going to let anyone hurt you ever again and I'm going to love you for the rest of my life."

I couldn't help but feel a rush of joy go through me at Eli's last words…in a crazy way it felt like we'd just said our own private version of vows to one another.

I kissed Eli again and then sat up, pulling him with me. I teased his mouth with mine as I dried his tears. "We'll go wherever you want when this is all over. We'll be each other's family."

Eli nodded and then pressed his head against my chest. "I can't keep running from this," he said softly. "I…I know now I didn't do anything wrong," he said and my heart swelled with pride. But my stomach bottomed out when he said, "I need to watch the video, Mav."

I understood his need, but I wished there was a way I could give him what he needed without putting him through more pain. "You sure?" I asked even as I reached for the laptop since I already knew what his answer would be.

"I want to put it behind me."

I booted up the laptop, but Eli didn't stiffen against me until I put the flash drive in. There were at least a dozen files that appeared on the drive. It took only seconds to realize how they'd been named and I sorted them alphabetically so all the ones that started with the letter "E" were together. There were seven files in total so I knew either Nick hadn't managed to copy them all, or Eli's stepfather hadn't saved all the recordings. My guess was that it was the former, because the fact that he'd saved even any evidence that could put him in prison for the rest of his life was proof of how confident the man was that he would get away with everything he'd done to all three boys. As I selected the earliest file based on the date, I wondered if the man had more victims somewhere.

I didn't ask Eli if he was ready because I knew there was no way he truly could be. The video started with the image of Eli and Jack sitting on the couch in front of a flat screen TV, a big bowl of popcorn between them. They laughed and joked about whatever was happening on the screen, but when Jack asked Eli if he wanted a beer, I felt Eli tense up against my chest. Just like Jace had said, the security camera got a clear shot of Jack spiking one of the beers and I felt my chest nearly implode when I saw a very young looking Eli take the drugged drink. By the time the first beer had started to make Eli groggy, Jack's frequent touches had started to linger and grow longer. And when Eli asked for another beer, Jack had smiled widely, ruffled his hair and gotten up to get the drink. He again put something in it and then sat back and waited as Eli drank it and began to look like he was about to fall asleep. What followed was a series of inappropriate touches that were meant to test how heavily drugged Eli was and even though Eli tried to push Jack's roaming hands away, he was completely helpless to do anything but say no as Jack began taking his shirt off.

I felt Eli's fingers dig into my chest as Jack began unbuttoning his pants, but that was as far as he went before he grabbed Eli's arm and forced him to his knees on the floor in front of him. Eli was clearly confused and began telling Jack he didn't feel good. Jack's response was to tell Eli that he knew how to make him feel good, and then he was forcing Eli's head to his crotch. Eli's hands came up to steady himself on Jack's thighs and at that exact moment, Jack lifted his arms in the air and began shaking his head. But even as he made it look like he was trying to resist, he was commanding Eli to take him out.

"That's the part he showed you, isn't it?" I asked.

Eli nodded against my chest.

Jack pulled out his cock and forced Eli's head down and then put his hands on Eli's shoulders. He again wore an expression of shock, but his words belied his countenance because he was telling Eli to suck him. When Eli tried to pull away, Jack forced his mouth open with his fingers and then shoved his dick between Eli's lips.

It took every ounce of control I had not to throw the laptop across the room and go hunt Jack Cortano down. Eli remained quiet on my chest and I tried to angle my head so I could see his face. One tear after another welled up in his eyes and fell down his cheeks, but he didn't make a sound and he didn't look away from the screen .

There were a few seconds here and there where Eli actually did seem to suck on Jack's dick, but he consistently pulled off and tried to get away. I had no doubt Jack had edited those parts out when he'd shown Eli the doctored version. When I watched Jack pull Eli to his feet and bend him over the arm rest of the couch, I reached out to stop the video, but Eli grabbed my hand. He didn't speak, but threaded his fingers with mine. I felt my own tears begin to fall as Eli began begging Jack to stop because he was hurting him, but without the sound, it would have just looked like a drunk Eli was getting fucked hard. And just as Eli had said, he didn't physically struggle, but only because he was clearly too far gone to fight back. But when Jack began calling him his little whore and asking him if he liked being fucked by a real man, I reached out and slammed the laptop closed. Rage was vibrating through every part of me and I wanted nothing more than to get up and put my fist through a wall.

Eli didn't react right away when I shoved the offending laptop away, but then he turned so that he was facing me, his head still pressed against my chest. He reached up to run his fingers through the tears that were still falling down my face and then he pulled me down for a kiss. He continued to cry silently as we kissed, but when he pulled me down farther so that our cheeks were pressed together he whispered, "I'm okay."

I nodded against him because I couldn't find my voice. When I finally regained the power of speech I breathed, "I love you," against his ear. The words were repeated back to me and then we just held on to each other and cried for the little boy on the screen who'd just started his journey through hell and back.

Eli hadn't let go of me for more than a couple of minutes at a time as we'd made our way back to Seattle. After watching the video earlier in the day, I'd texted Jace to tell him Eli and I needed some time to rest. In actuality, we'd ended up falling asleep and we hadn't woken up until Jace had knocked on the door to bring us some food he'd gotten from a fast food place a few miles away. Caleb had been with him, but hadn't said much and as we'd eaten, we'd talked briefly about what to do next. It was clear that Caleb would be coming back to Seattle with us, but when Caleb had asked Jace if he was coming too and Jace had said no, Caleb had lost it. Eli had tried to talk to Caleb, but he'd jerked away from Eli's attempt to comfort him. At that point Jace had taken Caleb outside to talk to him. They'd returned within a few minutes and Jace had announced that he would be traveling with us. Caleb had still looked like he was at his breaking point, but he never once left Jace's side and the older man hadn't seemed to have an issue with it.

After Caleb and Jace had returned to their room, I'd waited until Eli had fallen back asleep before calling Ronan to let him know that we would be leaving the following morning. He'd told me he would let the pilot know and that he'd pick us up from the airport. The flight home had been quiet, but unlike when we'd left Seattle, I'd sat next to Eli on one of the small loveseat style seats that faced the interior of the plane rather than the front of it. Caleb and Jace had ended up on the other one and about an hour after takeoff, Caleb had fallen asleep against Jace. I hadn't missed how often Jace touched Caleb and how he seemed to know exactly when the younger man needed it. I'd already started to feel protective of the teenager since he would have no one but Eli and Eli's mother after Jack was held accountable for his crimes, and I couldn't help but wonder if the bond that Caleb and Jace had formed would end up causing Caleb more harm than good. Because I knew Jace and not only was he too old for Caleb, he was also very much the love ‘em and leave ‘em type .

It wasn't until the plane was in the process of descending that Eli finally began talking beyond providing simple yes and no answers when presented with a question.

"I'm worried about my mom," he said softly and I suspected it was because he didn't want to wake Caleb up. "She's still in Germany, but I don't know when she's planning on flying back. And if Caleb's right about what Jack did to Nick…"

I used my hand to massage the back of Eli's neck as I said, "I talked to Ronan about your mom last night after you fell back asleep. He's got someone watching her until you have a chance to talk to her. Ronan's guy will escort her home when the time comes."

"This is going to kill her," Eli said sadly.

"If she's anything like you, she'll find the strength to deal with it."

"She really loves him," Eli murmured. "I guess I did too," he added. "Even after everything he did to me, there'd be these moments where he acted like a real dad. That's fucked up, isn't it?"

"No," I said. "I think we compartmentalize the people who hurt us the most so that they become two different people."

"I wanted him to be Dom," Eli admitted. "I wanted what Dom had with his real kids."

"You don't think Dom thinks of you as one of his own?"

Eli shook his head. "I know he loves me, but I think he's only ever seen me as the kid he saved. He's never going to forgive me for this."

"Eli, none of this was your fault."

"I let Jack fool me with that video, Mav. But it doesn't change the fact that I still let him do all those things to me afterwards. I had a choice. Even if I didn't want it, I still had a choice."

I sighed as I realized that as much progress as Eli had made in accepting what had happened, he still had a long way to go before he forgave himself for what he perceived as his decisions – his choices. When things settled down, I'd talk to him about getting some professional help since I had no idea how to convince him that he'd never had a choice…not since the day that monster had stepped into his life. And I knew that Eli's mother and Dom Barretti were going to be just as challenged to forgive themselves for the involuntary roles they'd played in what had happened. My hope was that they were both strong enough to put Eli's needs above their own.

Eli fell silent and didn't speak even once we were in Ronan's SUV headed north towards the city. Caleb and Jace were in the last row in the SUV and while I'd had the option to sit up front in the passenger seat, I'd chosen to sit in back with Eli since his anxiety had ratcheted up when he'd overheard Ronan telling me that he suspected Jack Cortano was on his way to Seattle, if he wasn't already here. Luckily, Caleb hadn't heard that news.

"Breathe, baby," I whispered as I could hear Eli struggling to draw in air.

Eli nodded as he tried to calm himself. The plan was to go to the hotel we'd been using as home base during Matty's cancer treatments, but the more Eli began to shake next to me, the more I knew he needed all the help he could get.

"Ronan," I called and Ronan looked in the rearview mirror at me. "We need to go get the dog."

Ronan's eyes shifted to Eli and then he nodded. He took the next exit that would take us to the University campus. My plan had been to get Baby later after we'd gotten settled at the hotel, but my hope was that the big dog could help ease some of Eli's fears about Jack possibly being in the same city. There was an open spot right in front of Eli's apartment building and as soon as he put the SUV in park, Ronan handed me Eli's house keys.

I gave Eli a quick kiss and said, "Stay here with Ronan. I'll go get Baby, okay?"

Eli nodded numbly and smiled. "Thank you, Mav."

I kissed his forehead and then got out of the car. I glanced over my shoulder at Eli who was sitting in the open doorway of the SUV trying to draw in enough air to keep himself from going over the edge. Since my eyes were on him, I didn't notice anything off right away. But when I glanced up towards Eli's apartment, I stopped suddenly at the sight of the wide open door. A spray of bright red blood was spattered across the doorframe.

"Ronan!" I shouted as I pulled my gun from my waistband. I didn't look to see if Ronan heard me or not as I ran up the stairs, but I saw him racing across the small yard towards me, gun drawn. And right behind him was Eli. I didn't bother to see where Jace and Caleb were because I needed to focus so I raised my gun and scanned the inside of the apartment. Ronan reached me just as I started to enter the apartment and the first thing I saw was a body face down on the floor, a pool of blood beneath it. There was another body on the far side of the loveseat and I could see the man had been shot in the head. I ignored the sight and scanned the apartment and then saw what I was looking for. Baby was lying on the ground next to someone who was hunched over. Ronan and I held our guns on him as Ronan yelled at him to raise his hands.

"Ronan!" the guy shouted. "He can't breathe."

I knew the gravelly voice before the man cast a glance over his shoulder at us.

Memphis Wheland.

The relief at seeing our team leader was short lived as I realized Memphis was leaning over another body. Ronan was already moving past me and kneeling beside the young man. Terror flooded my system as I recognized the young man's face and I managed to grab Eli the second he came rushing into the apartment.

"What happened?" he yelled as he looked around and then saw the dead bodies on the floor. "Baby!" he said frantically as he searched the apartment before finally seeing the dog. I felt Eli's relief at the sight of his pet. The animal was covered in blood and had what looked like several long cuts on his side but seemed to be okay despite the injuries. Baby didn't get up when he saw Eli. Instead, he stayed exactly where he was lying next to the two men who were frantically trying to help the third man.

"Who-" Eli started to say when he spotted the man on the floor, but then he went silent for a second when he recognized who it was.

"Brennan?" he whispered. "Brennan!" I held Eli back as he tried to get to his friend.

Jace came running into the apartment, gun drawn and Caleb behind him. "Clear the apartment," I said and Jace quickly scanned what was going on and then grabbed Caleb's hand in his and dragged him back towards Eli's bedroom.

"Brennan!" Eli screamed again and when Ronan shifted, I saw blood covered the young man's stomach.

"Ronan," I called, needing more information. If Brennan was already gone, I needed to get Eli the hell out of there.

"He's alive," Ronan said as he leaned down to listen to Brennan's chest. Memphis was holding the young man's hand tightly in his and I could see that Brennan's eyes were open, but he was struggling to breathe.

Eli had stilled at Ronan's announcement that his friend was alive, but he was holding on to me with painful intensity.

"Why can't he breathe?" Memphis asked, his usual cool and detached demeanor completely obliterated.

"Tension Pneumothorax," Ronan said as he sat back on his heels and looked around the apartment.

"What is that?" Memphis asked.

"His lung's collapsed," Ronan responded.

"I called 911. They should be here in a few minutes."

"He doesn't have that long," Ronan replied, his voice calm and steady. His gaze settled on Eli. "Eli, do you have any kind of tubing?"

Eli didn't respond at all and I had to grab his chin to force his eyes to mine. "Baby, listen to me. Do you have any tubing?"

"What?" he asked numbly.

"Tubing," I repeated.

Eli looked around the apartment, but I could tell he was struggling to keep it together. "Eli, Brennan needs your help. Now think, do you have any kind of tubing in the apartment?"

I sensed Jace and Caleb behind me, but I didn't look at them as I willed Eli to calm down. His eyes latched onto mine and he slowed his breathing. A few seconds passed before he said, "Yes," and pulled free of my hold. He ran to the cabinet beneath the kitchen sink and began pulling things out of it. "The super was going to put an ice maker in the freezer. He left the kit here."

"Mav, your knife," Ronan called as he kept his finger on Brennan's pulse.

I grabbed the knife from my ankle holster and searched out Jace. "Check the bathroom for any kind of antiseptic. Caleb, can you check the kitchen for alcohol?"

Caleb nodded, though his eyes were wide with shock. He began rifling through the cabinets and the refrigerator as Eli finally found the box he was looking for. He rushed to the table and began tearing the cardboard open. He let out a cry of relief when he found the clear plastic tubing.

"Will this work?" Caleb asked as he handed me a bottle of tequila.

I nodded and doused my knife with it. I grabbed the tubing and the alcohol and hurried to Ronan's side. Brennan was gasping desperately for air and tears were streaking down his face.

"Hold on Brennan," Memphis whispered. "You're going to feel better in a minute."

Brennan's eyes fixed on Memphis and I saw Memphis use his free hand to cup Brennan's cheek.

"Cut the tubing in half and clean it with the alcohol," Ronan said. I did as he said and the second I was done with the alcohol, he grabbed it from me and dumped a generous amount over his hands. He took my knife.

"His shirt," he said to me and I leaned over and ripped the shirt open, exposing Brennan's chest and the gaping gunshot wound in his side. "Help Memphis keep him still," Ronan ordered. I moved around Ronan's other side and put my hands on Brennan's shoulders. "Hold his arm up," he said. To Brennan he gently said, "Brennan, this is going to hurt, but I need you to stay as still as possible. It's going to feel better real soon, okay?"

Brennan managed a nod, but the second Ronan found the spot he was looking for and cut into him, he cried out in pain. I held him down as Memphis got up into his face and softly said, "Keep your eyes on me."

At some point Eli had dropped down next to Ronan. I could see his hands were wet from alcohol and he was holding the tubing in his hands. Ronan handed him the knife and took the tubing and began working it into the incision he'd made. "Okay, Brennan, it's in…just a few more seconds, okay?"

Brennan managed a nod, but he kept his eyes on Memphis. I felt the second the chest tube began working because Brennan relaxed beneath my hands as his breathing began to improve. Ronan leaned down to listen to Brennan's chest and then quickly began assessing Brennan's gunshot wound which was leaking blood at a rapid rate .

"Eli, we need to put pressure on this. Do you have any clean towels or rags?"

Eli jumped up and rushed from the room. He was back a second later with a stack of laundered hand towels. Ronan placed two towels over the wound and ordered Eli to put as much pressure on the wound as he could. I was glad when I heard sirens out front and to the paramedics' credit, they didn't react at the sight of the dead body just inside of the doorway other than one of the men checking for a pulse. They didn't bother checking the man with the gunshot wound. Eli and I both stepped back as the paramedics got to work and neither man argued as Ronan began giving them orders. I heard one of the paramedics speak into a radio that they were doing a scoop and run and I knew it was bad.

Really bad.

They worked quickly to get Brennan on the gurney, but when Brennan's eyes slid shut, Ronan snapped, "We need to go now."

"We'll meet you at the hospital!" I called as Ronan rushed out the door with the paramedics. Memphis started to follow.

"Memphis, the cops will need to question you," I said.

"Then they can fucking come find me at the hospital," he retorted and then he was following Ronan and the paramedics.

"Go," Jace said as our eyes met. "We'll stay here and wait for the cops," he said as nodded at Caleb.

I was already tugging Eli to the door when I said, "Can you take care of getting the dog help? His name is Baby. Keys are in the SUV."

Jace nodded and then I was dragging Eli down the stairs. The paramedics had just finished loading Brennan when we reached the curb. I saw that Ronan had climbed into the back of the ambulance and was frantically working on Brennan. It took me several long seconds to realize he was doing chest compressions on the young man.

Memphis was standing shell shocked behind the ambulance as the doors swung closed and I could only hope that Eli hadn't seen what was happening to his friend. "Memphis, keys!" I called. Memphis looked at me as if he'd forgotten where we were and then he was moving. He tossed me his car keys and strode to the dark blue luxury sedan that was parked in front of Ronan's SUV. Eli got in the back while I ran to the driver's side. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with the ambulance, but since I suspected which hospital it was going to, I wasn't worried about it.

"Eli," I said as I glanced over my shoulder at him. I had to call his name several more times before he looked up.

"We need to call Brennan's family. Can you pull up his father's or mother's phone number and give the phone to Memphis?"

Eli numbly removed his phone from his pocket. His hand was shaking as he scrolled until he found what he was looking for. He handed the phone to Memphis and said, "Zane is his older brother. He works downtown so he'll be the closest. Zane's husband, Connor, teaches at a school in Queen Anne."

Memphis grabbed the phone and dialed. He explained the situation to whoever answered and after several more seconds, he hung up and handed the phone back to Eli. "Eli, call Dom," I said.

Eli managed a nod and then dialed the phone. "Dom?" he said, his voice breaking. "Can you come to the hospital? It's Brennan…"

I missed the rest of whatever Eli said to Dom, but by the time he hung up he was crying. I forced myself to ignore his distress as I focused on the road and minutes later I was pulling in to the emergency department parking lot.