Chapter 24

Eli

Focusing on Caleb's voice was impossibly difficult since I was still reeling from everything that had just happened. When I'd first walked into the motel room, I'd been stunned by how broken and small Caleb looked. He'd always been quieter than Nick, but he'd always had a smile on his face and he was the type of guy who naturally drew people to him. And while he hadn't exactly been kind to me when we were younger, he hadn't seemed as resentful as Nick always had.

I hadn't had any idea of what Caleb would tell us about what had happened to him from the time he'd left me that message, but I certainly wasn't expecting him to expose my biggest secret in front of both a virtual stranger and the man I'd hoped would never find out what I'd done. Even now, the knowledge that Mav knew I'd fucked a man I considered a father – my own mother's husband – was making me violently ill, and I wished more than anything that Mav would stop touching me because my skin felt like there were a million ants crawling beneath it.

"Caleb, what happened after you called Eli?" I heard Mav ask, and I forced myself to focus.

"My dad overheard me leaving that message," Caleb began. " He took my phone from me and hit me. He said I'd be sorry if I tried it again. I told him I knew the truth about what had happened to Nick and that he wasn't going to get away with it. I also told him that I had proof of what he'd been doing to me and Nick and Eli and that if he ever touched me again, I'd give it to the cops and the press."

"What?" I whispered in disbelief as his words sank in. "No," I said as I shook my head. "No," I repeated and I looked at Mav in the hopes that he would tell me I'd heard Caleb wrong.

"Caleb, did your father…did he touch you and Nick?"

Caleb's gaze shifted to Jace who nodded his head and then reached up to tenderly brush Caleb's hair from his forehead. My stepbrother turned his attention back to Mav and sucked in a deep breath before saying, "I don't know exactly how old Nick was when it started for him, but I was thirteen the first time my father touched me."

"Oh my God," I said as I got to my feet. "No," I repeated dumbly before looking at Caleb. I did the math in my head and felt the bile rise up my throat. When Caleb had been thirteen, I'd been eighteen.

"I left for college," I whispered and I closed my eyes.

"It started before that, Eli," Caleb said softly. "It had nothing to do with you leaving."

I opened my eyes to look at him and shook my head.

"It's true," Caleb said. "He started doing it to Nick long before he married your mom."

"Baby, come sit back down," Mav said gently as he held out his hand. I took it and let him settle me in next to him again, but my mind was racing. My stepfather had told me I'd been the cause of his obsession to be with another man. Except I hadn't been a man. Not really. And I hadn't been his first. The sick fuck had gone after his own kids.

"I'm sorry, Caleb, I didn't know," I said as tears flooded my eyes. "I would have tried to stop it, I swear."

Caleb dashed at his own eyes and nodded. "I know," he said. "He was good at keeping secrets. We all were. "

"Caleb, you said something about what happened to Nick," Mav said.

"Um, yeah, he was going to college, but still living at home. One of his classes got canceled so he came home early. Eli's mom was at lunch with friends. Nick…he walked in on me and my father…"

Caleb's words trailed off and I saw Jace give his hand a little squeeze. The move seemed to settle the younger man. "Nick pulled him off of me and called him a liar and said he was going to send the proof to the media. I didn't know what he meant, but he and my father started fighting. My father pushed Nick hard and he fell backwards and hit his head on the edge of the coffee table. He didn't move after that," Caleb said, his voice sounding dull and lifeless. I knew he was going someplace else in his head to escape the memories.

Just like I always had when I'd been a kid. With my customers. With my stepfather.

"My dad started flipping out. He grabbed me and told me that it was an accident. I was crying and told him that we needed to get Nick help, but he wouldn't let me call 911. He told me that he'd go to jail if anyone found out what had happened."

Caleb's eyes shifted from me to Mav and then to Jace. "I know the stuff he did to me was fucked up, but he was still my dad," Caleb whispered in earnest.

Jace nodded in understanding. "It's okay," he reassured Caleb.

Caleb nodded shakily and then dropped his eyes to his hands. He focused on the one Jace was holding. Jace's thumb was rubbing over Caleb's and as Caleb continued to talk, his own finger began to stroke the other man's.

"My father left me alone with Nick for a couple of minutes and I sat down next to him. I went to hold his hand when he suddenly opened his eyes. I began screaming for my dad saying that Nick was still alive. I told Nick to hold on, that help was coming, but he kept talking about the proof…said it would keep me safe. He…he told me to call Eli for help and to tell him he was sorry."

My chest hurt at hearing that and I realized how little I'd really known my stepbrothers…both of them .

"Nick closed his eyes again just before my father came back into the room and I started telling him that Nick was still alive. I told him we needed to call for help, and he knelt down next to Nick and put his fingers against his neck to check for a pulse. He finally told me to go call 911. I did, but when I got back, Dad was leaning over Nick and checking his pulse again. And then he looked at me and said Nick was gone. I was so messed up, I didn't really pay attention to what happened next. This cop started asking me all sorts of questions, but I couldn't make sense of anything he was saying."

"You were in shock," Jace murmured.

"Yeah," Caleb said. "I didn't even realize until the funeral that my dad had told the cops I'd been the one to find Nick's body. That was when I started hearing people say the Coroner had found heroin in Nick's system and that was what had caused him to pass out and hit his head on the table."

Caleb used his free hand to wipe at his puffy eyes. "That was when I knew the truth," he said quietly.

"What truth?" I asked.

"I think my dad injected heroin into Nick while I was calling 911."

Terror swamped me at that. Being a kiddie rapist was one thing, but a murderer too?

"Why do you think that?" Mav asked. "Your brother had a drug problem, didn't he?"

Caleb nodded. "He did, but he was getting help. Part of the treatment program was daily drug screens. He'd had one that morning. I found the test results on his desk in his room when I was looking for pictures to have enlarged for the service. If he'd shot up between then and when he got home, I would have been able to tell that he was high."

"Where would your father have gotten the drugs?" Mav asked.

"Nick wasn't the only one with a problem," was all Caleb said.

"Tell them the rest," Jace urged.

Caleb nodded.

"The day I called Eli, a friend of Nick's stopped by to bring me an envelope. Nick had asked him to give it to me if anything ever happened to him."

"What was in it?" I asked.

"A piece of paper with a location on it. Fisherville Quarry. Nick and I used to freshwater dive there all the time and after we were done, we'd explore these caverns."

"You think Nick hid whatever proof he was talking about there?" Mav asked.

"He did," Jace said as he pulled a flash drive from his pocket and held it up. He handed it to Mav.

"Did you check it yet?"

Jace nodded. His eyes shifted to me briefly before he said, "It's full of videos."

My chest constricted painfully and I actually reached up my hand as if I could stem the pain that way. "Of all of us?" I asked, unable to lift my eyes from where they were staring at the ugly brown carpet beneath our feet.

Jace was silent for a moment. "Yes."

I couldn't stop the tears that fell because I knew what would happen next. I turned to look at Mav and whispered, "Please don't watch it."

"Eli," Jace said gently and I looked up at him. "Caleb told me that Nick saw you and your stepfather the night you got your driver's license. Apparently Nick asked his mom to bring him over that night to spend the night and your stepdad either forgot or never got the message. When he saw what you and your stepfather were doing, he left and caught up to his mom before she left. He told her he'd changed his mind and didn't want to spend the night anymore. He told Caleb you were into what was happening to you."

Humiliation tore through me at that and I gladly leaned into Mav when he pulled me against his chest.

"Eli, listen to me," Jace implored and then he was leaning across the distance between the two beds so that he could put his hand on my knee. "I found the video of that night and I watched it…all of it."

Fuck, would this never end? "Mav, please, I can't do this," I bit out as the shame sent heat flooding through my entire system. Mav's arms tightened around me.

"I've got you, Eli," he murmured against my ear. "I've got you."

I wished Jace would stop talking, but he continued. "Eli, he drugged you."

It took me several long seconds to process what Jace had said. I turned my head on Mav's chest so I could see the other man. "What?"

"There was a small bar in the den. It had a refrigerator in it, do you remember?" Jace asked.

I nodded. "That's where he got the beers from."

"The security camera captured him putting something in one of the bottles after he opened it and before he handed it to you. He did it to the second beer too."

I straightened and wiped at my face. "I saw the video…he tried to stop me from…"

Jace shook his head. "My guess is the video he showed you was one he edited to make it look like you instigated the whole thing. Did the video you saw have sound?"

"No."

Jace pointed to the flash drive in Mav's hand. "The real video has sound. And you are clearly saying no from the moment he first touches you ."

Logically, I understood what Jace was telling me, but I couldn't process it. Because along with this new reality came a worse one. I'd made so many decisions based on that one video…on those few seconds of seeing myself seduce my mother's husband and the friend of the one man I admired above all others.

This time when the bile crawled up my throat, I knew there was no stopping it and I ran to the bathroom. I heaved into the toilet over and over again until my stomach was empty. My throat ached as tears streamed down my face. A washcloth was passed over my face and then a plastic cup of water was handed to me. I rinsed and spit the water out in the toilet, but I couldn't find the strength to stand. Mav was kneeling in front of me, his eyes heavy with concern .

"He raped me," I finally whispered, the words making my throat burn. "He fucking raped me," I said again in disbelief and then I just let go.

Completely and terribly. I couldn't hold back the anguished sobs that tore from my throat as I absorbed the truth about what had really happened that night and the path of destruction through my life that had followed. Every time I'd let Jack touch me after that had been because I'd believed his lies…

"Oh God, what did I do?" I cried in disbelief as everything came crashing down around me. And when I no longer had the strength to keep myself upright, Mav was right there waiting to catch me.