Chapter 1

Mav

"Eli," I said as gently as I could despite the rage that was surging through my blood. "It's me," I added. "Mav."

I hadn't actually ever told Eli my name, but he clearly recognized me because he nodded.

"Can you stand?"

Another nod and then Eli used the back of his left hand to wipe at his tears. But when I reached for his right arm to pull him to his feet, he let out a harsh cry and grabbed his wrist with his free hand.

"Okay, okay," I said softly as I watched fresh tears fall. I studied the wrist Eli was protecting and saw that it was already swelling. "Eli, can you move your fingers on this hand?" I asked as I pointed to his injured arm.

Eli hesitated and then carefully tested each finger. Pain was written in every line of his face and harsh breaths were seesawing in and out of him. "Yeah," he finally managed to say. "I think it's just sprained," he added between clenched teeth.

"I'm going to help you stand, okay? We'll take it nice and slow."

Another unsteady nod. I reached out for Eli's uninjured arm and supported his weight as I carefully lifted him to his feet. The younger man leaned back against the wall as he tried to catch his breath and I kept my hand on his elbow to steady him. "Can you make it back up the stairs?"

It took Eli a moment to slow his breathing enough to talk. "My…my car's parked on this level," he said with a nod to the door leading to the parking area.

"Eli, you need to have someone take a look at your injuries." Despite it being a children's hospital, I doubted they'd turn Eli away. At worst, they'd arrange for him to be transported down the block to the general hospital.

"No," Eli murmured and then he pulled himself upright. "I'm okay."

"Eli-"

"Thank you," Eli said as he carefully pulled free of my hold and stepped around me. He used his uninjured hand to open the heavy door and I quickly grabbed it from him. He mumbled another thank you and then began walking towards a darkened corner of the garage. I scanned our surroundings as I easily caught up to Eli and carefully drew him to a stop by putting my hand on his uninjured arm.

"Eli, talk to me. Who did this?"

But Eli just shook his head and tried to step past me.

"Was it an ex or something?" I asked.

Eli didn't seem surprised or annoyed that I was making the assumption that he was gay. "Can you just let me go, please?" he whispered and I could tell he was on the verge of crying again. He tried to tug his arm free of my grip, but I maintained my hold on him. I ignored the zaps of electricity that were firing through the pads of my fingers and up my entire arm.

"At least let me call someone for you," I offered. "Your family. A friend."

I expected him to mull my suggestion over or at least tell me no, but instead his entire countenance fell and then more tears began silently slipping down his face. I felt an unexpected ache in my chest at how lost and broken he looked and I struggled to find the right words to say. But nothing came to me and I knew it was because that kind of bone deep pain couldn't be taken away with a few carefully chosen words. Whatever Eli was going through inside was so much worse than the beating his body had taken.

I felt my skin itch as the overwhelming urge to escape hit me. Give me a gun or a knife and I was an unstoppable force. Hell, even with just my hands, I could take on anything thrown my way. But this…fuck, I wasn't equipped to give the young man in front of me what he needed. I wasn't wired that way…not anymore. But as Eli tried to move past me once again, I tightened my grip on him and drew him forward instead. He was stiff against me at first, but the second I pressed my hand against the small of his back to keep him from moving away, he let out a broken sob and dropped his forehead on my chest and began sobbing in earnest. I was careful not to put any pressure on his injured arm as I pulled him in even closer.

I didn't say anything as his tears soaked my shirt and before I could stop myself, I lowered my head and let my lips skim his temple. I was right about him being slight because even with my loose hold on him, he felt so very breakable. I had a good six inches on him at least and while he wasn't actually bony, my guess was that I outweighed him by at least fifty pounds. I used my free hand to test the softness of his coal-black hair and I marveled at the curls that shifted beneath my fingers.

I had no idea how long we stood there for, but at some point, Eli's free hand had wrapped around my back and I could feel his fingertips pressing into me, their warmth heating my skin through the thin material of my shirt. His sobs had eased, but he was still holding onto me like I was his lifeline. And the only thing that kept me from crushing him against me the way I wanted, was his injured arm which was pressed against my abdomen.

The door leading to the stairwell opening caused Eli to jerk away from me and he let out a gasp as he bumped his injured wrist against me. His wide eyes shot to the doorway where a woman in nurse's scrubs was searching out her keys from her purse. She gave us both a quick once over and then hurried towards the opposite side of the lot. Eli managed to gather himself as he stepped away from me.

"Sorry," he whispered .

"I'm not," I said before I could think better of it.

Eli's eyes lifted to mine in surprise and I took advantage of his distracted state to reach up and wipe away a small dot of fresh blood from his lip. He trembled at the contact and I had trouble hiding my own reaction at the feel of the smooth pink flesh against the rough pad of my finger.

"I should go," Eli managed to say and then he was stepping away from me again. I knew I should just let him go since he clearly didn't want my help, but I followed him to his car anyway. But as he neared an older model sedan that seemed to have more rust on it than paint, he stopped and just stared at the car. I scanned the vehicle for any damage or sign it had been messed with, but didn't see anything.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I came to a stop next to him and angled my body so I could see his face. He looked at me as if just realizing I was still with him.

"It's a stick shift," he finally said and raised his injured arm slightly. His right arm.

"Where are your keys?" I asked. "I'll drive you home."

Eli took a small step away from me and I felt a mix of anger and frustration go through me, but I quickly quelled it. Fine, the guy didn't like me…didn't mean I should be a prick and ditch him like I was half tempted to do, though.

I pulled out my cell phone and held it out to him. "Then call someone…a friend, a cab, whatever."

I couldn't keep the irritation from my voice and Eli flinched at my tone. I tried to remember what the young man had just been through, but his rejection still stung. Which was the epitome of stupid because I'd been rejected my entire life. It certainly wasn't a new feeling for me.

Eli still hadn't moved or responded in any kind of way so I stepped away from him and shook my head. I had already turned to go when he finally spoke, his voice barely a whisper.

"You scare me."

I stilled and then slowly shifted so I was once again facing him. His admission surprised me and I had no idea what to say to that. I finally settled on, "I have that effect on a lot of people." I forced out a small laugh in an attempt to add levity, but Eli didn't react. Instead his eyes scanned my entire body and I felt my dick starting to fill with excitement.

"That's not why you scare me," Eli said quietly. "Not anymore," he added.

I didn't know what to make of that statement, but I didn't get a chance to ask him what he meant because he said, "It's Mav, right?"

I nodded.

"Matty talks about you a lot. He says you and his daddies saved him. He calls you Thor."

I smiled at that. Matty's obsession with superheroes was well known, but I hadn't realized I'd been included in the fold. "He's a good kid," I murmured.

"He is," Eli responded. He turned so he was facing me head on and quietly said, "Mav, I'd be grateful for a ride home."

I loved the way my name fell from his lips…like a subtle caress with the promise of something more. His dark eyes held mine, drawing me in and I moved towards him. "Keys?" I finally managed to ask, my voice sounding thick and husky even to my own ears.

"My pocket," Eli responded. "My right pocket."

I swallowed hard at that. With his injured arm, there was no way he'd be able to reach into his pocket and fish them out. And since he was wearing jeans that hugged his lithe body…

Fuck.

I told myself to make it quick as I reached my fingers into his pocket, but between the subtle increase in Eli's breathing and the feel of his firm flesh beneath my fingers as I pushed into the too small pocket, I was struggling just to keep control of my own raging desire. It took several tries to snag the key ring and when I finally hooked the keys, I swore both Eli and I let out a sigh of relief at the same time.

Eli stepped around me and went to the passenger side. There was no key fob to unlock the door so I had to do it manually and once I had the door opened, I realized the locks weren't power ones so I dropped down into the driver's seat and leaned across the passenger seat and flipped the lock. While the car wasn't comically small, it was a tight fit for me and my head kept brushing the roof even after I slid the driver's seat all the way back. I glanced at Eli who was watching me with a small smile on his face and I felt something shift in my chest at how different he looked. Yes, he was clearly still in pain, but to see that momentary change in his expression made it all worth it. But when his eyes shifted up to mine, he quickly shuttered them and reached for his seat belt. I watched him struggle for a moment before I reached across him and grabbed it and clicked it into place. The move had my arm nearly brushing his chest and my head precariously close to his, and I didn't miss his indrawn breath when I held there, our mouths just inches apart. To say that I was tempted to lean in and take a taste of him was an understatement, but then I remembered his admission about being afraid of me.

I moved back into my own seat and fumbled with the keys. It took several tries to get the car started and when it finally did turn over, I had to give it a little gas to keep the engine going. It took a couple of minutes to work our way through the multiple levels of the parking garage to get up to street level and Eli pointed to his parking pass in the cup holder when we got to the gate. After that, the only words spoken between us were Eli giving me directions to his place.

Based on the shitty car Eli drove, I wasn't expecting much when it came to Eli's house, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. I'd been in Seattle long enough to have a chance to explore the city, so I knew we were within blocks of the University of Washington as I pulled up to a large green house that had clearly been converted into multiple residences. Most of the houses up and down the street also appeared to be geared towards student housing, but since it was the middle of June, there was little activity going on.

The reminder that I was lusting after someone who was likely still in college had me asking, "Are you a student?"

"Um, I start medical school in the fall," Eli said as he unbuckled his seat belt.

A sliver of relief went through me that he wasn't just this side of legal, but I shoved the thought away. It didn't matter how old he was. I might be attracted to him, but that was as far as it went. That was as far as it would ever go. Because I knew without question that Eli wasn't a no strings, quick fuck kind of guy. And if he was, he'd made it clear that just like he wasn't my type, I wasn't his either.

I got out of the car and met Eli around the other side and handed him his keys.

"Thanks," Eli said. "How will you get back?"

"I'll call a cab."

Eli nodded and when he turned to go, I couldn't stop myself from reaching out to stop him. He flinched briefly, but didn't try to escape my hold. "Eli, this guy…if you know who he is, you need to tell the police. Press charges."

Eli held my gaze for a moment and then dropped his eyes. "I'll think about it," he finally said, but I knew it was a lie. Frustration coursed through me, but I kept it to myself as I searched out my phone to call a cab. I might not be able to force Eli into seeking help, but I could do a little recon on my own to see if I could identify the bastard who'd hurt him.

"Do…"

I looked up as Eli's voice caught. He was shifting back and forth on his feet, his injured arm still pressed to his chest.

"Do you want to come inside while you wait for your cab?" he asked, his voice shaky.

I could tell he was regretting the question as he waited nervously for my answer. The smart thing to do would have been to call the cab and just wait on the curb. But that invisible pull that always made me look at Eli as he walked past me when he was leaving Matty's hospital room was working overtime now, and I was nodding before I could think better of it. And instead of calling the cab, I tucked my phone back in my pocket and followed Eli up the walkway. He kept glancing over his shoulder at me as we neared the house, but instead of taking the stairs that led up to the porch, he walked around the side of the house. A set of rickety wooden stairs led to a door on the second floor along the side of the house and as I stepped on the first one, I couldn't help but wonder if they would hold my weight. But they were sturdier than they looked. The landing at the top of the stairs was narrow, so I was practically pressed up against Eli's back as he tried to get the key into the lock with his left hand.

"Here, let me," I said as I took the key from him. Eli gasped as my front brushed his back and I actually found myself holding the position once I got the key into the lock. I made sure not to touch him anywhere else for fear of scaring him, but it didn't matter because his breathing steadily increased as I held him that way, caged between my body and the door. It was only when my dick began to pulse painfully behind my pants that I turned the key. As soon as the lock disengaged, Eli used his good arm to push the door open. I sucked in a deep breath to try to get control of my raging libido and followed him inside. The second I stepped over the threshold, a huge Rottweiler appeared and placed himself between me and Eli who was putting his keys on the small kitchen table several feet inside the doorway.

The dog and I studied each other for a few seconds and when the big animal finally approached me, I remained still so he could check me out. I glanced up to see Eli watching us, but his eyes were actually on the dog and I wondered if he was using the animal as a barometer of sorts to figure out if I was trustworthy. I had my answer a moment later when the dog began licking my outstretched hand because Eli expelled a rush of air. His eyes lifted to mine and I saw a flash of shame go through him.

He shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, but I quickly said, "Don't." I slid my hand over the dog's massive head. "If this is what it takes, I'm good with it."

Eli swallowed hard and then nodded. "His name is Baby."

I chuckled and looked down to study the big dog. I could tell he was an older dog because of the considerable silver lining his muzzle, but he was still an impressive animal. "He's beautiful," I murmured as I stroked the big dog's face. He nuzzled me for a few more seconds and then went to seek out Eli.

I watched as Eli dropped down into one of the kitchen chairs and wrapped his free arm around Baby. I moved farther into the apartment and closed the door behind me. Eli's demeanor was so different around his pet that I was momentarily mesmerized and I felt a ridiculous sliver of envy for the big animal. I moved past Eli and went to the refrigerator and pulled open the freezer. I found a couple of packs of frozen vegetables and took them to the kitchen table. Eli watched me, but didn't say anything as I went to the sink and searched out a clean dishtowel and wetted it. I moved the remaining kitchen chair until it was across from Eli and sat down. He didn't protest when I put my fingers under his chin to steady him and began cleaning the small gash on his lip. Once the dried blood was gone, I reached for both bags of frozen vegetables. I carefully placed one over his wrist which he was still holding against his chest and then I shifted forward so I could hold the second one against his cheek. He winced slightly, but didn't move away from my touch.

We sat there in silence as Eli's eyes held mine and even though I wasn't actually touching his skin, I may as well have been, because I felt a surge of electricity go through me. And I could see that Eli wasn't unaffected because his lips parted just a little bit and I could hear his breathing ramping up. But when his tongue came out to moisten his lips, my cock hardened painfully in my pants. Desperate for a momentary reprieve, I managed to growl, "Do you have any ibuprofen?"

It took several long seconds for Eli to answer, but just before he did, his tongue once again slid over his lips and I had to wonder if he had any idea what he was doing to me. If he hadn't been shouting "hands off" with every other part of his body, I would have been certain he was doing the move just to tease me.

"In my bathroom. I'll get it." Eli made a move to get up, but I put my free hand on his thigh and he sucked in a breath.

God, this guy was going to be the fucking death of me.

"I'll get it," I bit out.

Eli managed a nod and said, "You have to go through my bedroom to get to the bathroom. It's in the medicine cabinet."

I nodded and I as removed my hand from the bag that was still pressed against Eli's face, his hand came up to take over holding it in place. His fingers brushed mine and I barely managed to bite back the curse as another flash of heat shot through me. I stood and headed for the hallway that I assumed led to the bedrooms. There was actually only one bedroom and it turned out to be tiny. A full sized bed was pressed up against the long wall. There was no closet but there was a small dresser with books stacked high on it in one corner. I noticed several framed pictures on the dresser as well and I couldn't stop myself from stopping to take a closer look. The biggest picture was of a young woman with two children; a teenage girl and a boy no more than ten years old. Eli probably.

There were a few smaller pictures of various men and women, but it was an overturned picture that caught my attention. It was lying face down on the dresser like it had either fallen down or someone had put it that way. I picked it up and studied the image looking back at me. It was clearly the same woman from the other picture, but this time she was wearing a wedding dress. Next to her was presumably the groom, a good looking guy who looked to be about ten years older than the woman. In front of them was a younger Eli, a big grin on his face. I guessed him to be around fifteen or sixteen in the picture. The man's arm was draped across his shoulder and the woman had her hand on his other shoulder. There were two other men in the picture, one on each side of the happy couple. One appeared to be five to ten years younger than the groom and was bald with a heavy build. The youngest of the three men was beautiful with his thick black hair, pale blue eyes and wide smile.

I studied Eli again for a moment and then put the picture back the way I'd found it. I went to the bathroom and searched out the ibuprofen and then made my way back to the kitchen. I gave the living room a quick glance and noted it looked similar to the bedroom with its sparse furnishings – one small, threadbare brown loveseat facing a 32-inch TV. More framed pictures lined a bookshelf in one corner, but my eyes instantly fell on the single picture frame that was turned over.

Just like in the bedroom.

And just like in the other room, all the other pictures were of several men and women along with kids and dogs .

I itched to look at the picture that was overturned, but forced my attention back on Eli who was sitting as I'd left him. His eyes were on the big dog whose head was draped across his lap. Eli looked up as I made my way back to him, but I bypassed him and went to the refrigerator to search out something to drink. I grabbed one of the only two bottles of water and returned to the chair and sat down. I reached for the frozen bag on his face and carefully removed it and then handed him a couple of pills along with the water.

"Thanks," he said softly as he put the water down on the table.

"How does this feel?" I asked as I lifted the bag on his wrist and examined the swelling that was already starting to go down.

"Better."

I lifted my eyes to Eli, but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were on the fingers he was running over Baby's head.

I hated his silence. I hated that I couldn't find even one sign of the young boy from the picture in his bedroom. I hated that even now just sitting there across from him, our knees almost touching, that it wasn't enough. I didn't even know what it was.

I needed to go. The young man before me didn't want my help. He'd made that crystal clear. And even though his body was reacting to mine, it didn't mean anything. He was as far from me mentally as he could get. But even as my mind told my body to stand up and walk away, I couldn't make my limbs obey. Instead, I found myself reaching out to cup the uninjured side of his face.

I ignored the way my body drew up tight and softly said, "Eli."

It took him a long time to lift his eyes to meet mine.

"Tell me who did this," I urged. "I can help you."

If I'd dropped my gaze even for a second, I would have missed it. The desperate look in his eyes. The one that told me he wanted more than anything to tell me…to accept my offer. But it was gone just like that and Eli dropped his eyes and murmured, "It was a misunderstanding. It won't happen again."

Frustration cut through me, but before I could respond, there was a knock on Eli's door and then it was opening.

"Eli, you here?" came a man's voice and Eli instantly pulled away from me and stood. I looked over to see a young man standing in the open doorway, his eyes shifting between me and Eli. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know you had company," he said awkwardly.

"It's fine," Eli said shakily. "Come on in."

The guy was about the same age as Eli and had a rangy, muscular build. His black hair stood in sharp contrast to his bright green eyes. The gorgeous, clean cut man was exactly the type of guy I typically went for, but every cell in my body was still focused on Eli and I automatically stepped closer to him before I realized what I was doing.

The man stepped farther into the apartment and slid his hand over Baby's head as the dog greeted him, but his eyes remained on Eli. "What happened?" he asked as his eyes registered the damage to Eli's face and I didn't miss the dark look in his gaze as he glanced at me when he strode past me to get to Eli. I had no doubt the guy was wondering if I was the cause of Eli's injuries.

"Nothing," Eli murmured as he let the other guy turn his face to get a better look. I hated the bout of jealousy that filtered through me. "I fell down some stairs when I was leaving the hospital."

The lie caught me off guard and when my eyes connected with Eli's, I saw the silent plea there. The other man looked at me briefly, but I kept my mouth shut.

"Brennan, this is Mav. He helped me out at the hospital and drove me home. Mav, this is Brennan Devereaux."

"It's nice to meet you," Brennan said and then reached out to shake my hand. His grip was firm and steady.

I desperately wanted to ask Eli who the guy was to him, but I forced myself to step back from the pair and said, "I should get going." It felt like acid was burning my insides as I gave Eli one last look and then turned towards the door. I cursed the all too familiar sensation that had no business appearing now. Eli was nothing to me, so to feel the pain of losing something I hadn't actually had was beyond ridiculous. The fact that I still felt it at all after so many years made me angrier than I wanted to admit.

I had my hand on the doorknob when I heard Eli say, "Mav, wait," and then his hand was closing over my forearm. The contact felt like a punch to the gut because it was the first time he was willingly touching me. I both wanted the moment to end and for it to last forever. I turned until our eyes met.

"Thank you," he said with a nod. But it was his eyes that spoke volumes. The acid in my belly settled and was replaced with another equally unwelcome sensation.

I nodded and opened the door, ignoring the feeling of loss as Eli's fingers dropped from my arm. But instead of moving forward, I glanced at him again and whispered, "You know where to find me."

And with that, I left the apartment.