Chapter 65

Soren

T oday was the third time I'd come to the hospital with the intention of seeing Ashton. However, on the two other occasions, I didn't manage to get to his room and instead went straight back to my car.

On my first visit, my clothes made me doubt my decision. I know, pathetic, isn't it? Somehow, I decided to wear a bright blue shirt, hoping it would make Ashton see I'd changed and was a man he was capable of relying on. But once I reached the hospital's parking lot, I was struck by self-awareness and realized blue made me look like an idiot. Needless to say, I drove straight back home. The second day, I made sure to wear black, so my clothes weren't an issue. But as I reached his floor, I was shocked by the number of people waiting outside Ashton's room. It somehow scared me, and I snuck out of there, hoping no one had noticed me.

Now, the halls were clear, and while my shirt was eggshell and not white, it was still good enough to keep my mind at ease. Prepared for my final judgment, I knocked on his room door.

"Come in," he said, those two words enough to make my heart race.

Not falling into the temptation of counting the seconds passing on my watch, I forced my hand down and pushed the door open. I wasn't even sure what made me this nervous, but the second Ashton's brilliant eyes met mine, I felt alive again.

"I was wondering when you'd show up." He smiled warmly. "Are those for me?"

It took me a second to remember that I'd brought flowers. "Y-Yes," I stammered, moving to place them on the table, where dozens of other bouquets were placed. "Although, maybe I should have gone for something else."

"Why? The flowers you picked are beautiful, and besides, I'm just glad you're here."

"You are?" I frowned, and he chuckled.

"Why are you this nervous?"

After putting the flowers down, I sat on the chair beside his bed. "I actually don't know." I rubbed my knees, annoyed that my pants rose and now my socks were showing.

"Hey," Ashton whispered, and I gazed up at him. "I like the shirt." He pinched the fabric.

"It's eggshell."

His smile grew. "I know."

"Weren't you supposed to go back to NYC?" he questioned, one brow raised with a bratty suspicion.

"As if I could be anywhere else on this planet while you're here," I muttered, well aware of how cheesy I sounded.

"You're cute."

"Please, Ashton. I'm nearly forty; I doubt calling me cute is appropriate at this age."

He snorted. "That's even cuter."

I side-eyed him and was immediately struck by his glowing beauty. A beauty I was mere seconds away from losing. And the cast on his arm was just another reminder of that.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack," I whispered, my voice choking and my body turning cold while remembering those dreadful seconds.

"I know, and I'm sorry."

"Never do it again." Adjusting my glasses higher on my nose, I realized I was asking the impossible from him. "Or, at the very least, take me with you the next time."

He laughed. "You don't surf."

"Then teach me," I urged, leaning closer. "Teach me so I'll be able to save you in times of need."

His jaw nearly dropped, and he stared at me for a long moment before he snapped out of it. "O-Okay. I will teach you how to surf. But you know, there's no waves in NYC."

"Luckily, there's plenty in California."

Now it was his turn to side-eye me. "Does that mean that you're staying?"

"Yes."

"What about your job?"

"Well." I cleared my sore throat. "Due to recent developments, I've decided that I've learned enough from Daniel and that it's time to take over my grandfather's company, which happens to be located in LA." I also knew that when Daniel found out about me asking Dion to send his men to beat up that despicable piece of shit Jones, he'd fire me regardless. However, it was all one big excuse, as the sole reason for my staying was looking back at me with eyes I'd grown addicted to.

"But don't worry. I don't expect you to take me back just because of that. I told this to you simply because I didn't want you to hear about it from someone else…"

Ashton tilted his head while studying me with pursed lips. "So you don't want me to take you back?"

"That's not what I'm saying." I rubbed my hands together, my palms growing sweaty. "Of course I want you back, Ashton. That's basically what I've wanted since the day I made you leave, but—"

"But?" he asked, waiting for me to go on.

"He'll need you."

Just like in the past, Kai had relapsed, meaning it was Ashton's duty to care for him.

"You're right," he answered almost immediately, and my heart sank to my stomach. But then, he reached forward and took off my glasses only to put them away before grabbing my hand. "But you need me, too. And quite frankly, I need you, Soren."

His confession left me out of words, and I struggled to make so much as a sound. My whole body warmed in seconds, making me realize how incomplete I was without him.

"But why?" I frowned at his beautiful, young face. "Why would you need someone like me?" Tangling our fingers together, I allowed my cold skin to get warmed by his touch. "I first came here thinking you'd need me, but seeing all the people waiting for you outside, I realized I wasn't needed anymore. It made me reflect on the time we'd been together, and that filled me with shame." It was hard to speak, yet I went on. "You were always so bright and warm while I was nothing but a cold, lonely man who found solace in your insecurities. I lived on it, isolated you from everyone for my own selfish needs. So when you finally left, it made sense, as birds never stay where it's cold, and so, they search for their summer someplace else."

I hoped he'd make it easy for us both and ask me to leave, but instead, he only held my hand tighter. "Summer comes in many forms, Soren. It can be hot and dry but also composed and beautiful, with blooming flowers and tweeting birds. The summer in Alaska is not the same as the one in Greece, and that's okay." He held my gaze, his lips curving up. "I'm not looking for sunshine and rainbows but for the man whose cold touch I became addicted to. I love it, always have, and nothing you say will change that."

Overwhelmed with emotions I'd never thought I'd feel, I slipped my hand from his touch and brought it to my face, hopelessly trying to hide the tears in my eyes. I wasn't sure if this was happiness because it felt more like relief. Relief from being free of the shadows that were forever chasing me.

"Hey, come here," Ashton said, his voice so soft and loving, unfolding the bundle of nerves that knotted in my stomach.

Somehow, I managed to make my body move, and I sat on his bed.

He put his good hand on my waist. "We're going to have a lot to work on." He rubbed my thigh, and I nodded.

"I know."

"And there are things you'll need to learn to adjust to because, like you said, I've matured and grown, and my life has changed."

I frowned at him. "A-Are you talking about the boys? Because if so, I don't care. They're all great, and Andrei and I are already getting along."

He chuckled, then pressed his head to my body. "I'm talking about a whole lot of things, but we can do one at a time."

That sounds fair enough.

"Okay," I whispered, then put my hand on the back of his head. His hair was so soft and fuzzy, and touching it gave me such simple pleasure.

"I love you, Soren." He looked up to meet my tearing eyes. "Truth is, I never really stopped."

My lips quivered, and I knew I looked like a pitiful mess, yet I couldn't care less; I was too damn happy. "I love you, too, little Sparrow, more than I could ever put into words."

He smirked. "That's new, a lawyer without words?"

"Little brat."

He joked, and I seized the moment to lean down until my lips were an inch from his. "Back on the beach, when I was afraid you'd leave me, I made many promises. One of them was that if you lived, I'd kiss you a million times more." I whispered the words over his lips, already hungry to taste them.

Ashton's eyes darted to my mouth and up to my eyes, and he licked those perfect lips of his.

"So you better start counting."

Closing my eyes, I leaned in until my lips met his. The warmth of them, I'd never get used to, and I opened my mouth, allowing his tongue in. He was as sweet and eager as always, and with my hands cupping his head, I held him close, nearly eating him alive. He chuckled at my eagerness and groaned when I went a bit too forceful, but he didn't stop kissing me back. Every bit of me melted into this moment, which was probably the happiest I'd ever been before.

"I love you," I breathed into his mouth, and he drank up my words before swirling his tongue around mine, pulling me closer to him until I nearly covered his body with my own. If only he hadn't been injured, I would have made sweet love to him. But thankfully, there would be plenty of time for that.

"You're getting me too excited," I rasped as I adjusted myself.

Ashton's hungry eyes darted to my crotch, and he licked his lips. "What a shame I can't do anything about it right now," he pouted, and I laughed.

"There will be time for that later."

He moved a bit on the bed, giving me space to lie beside him, so I did.

"Speaking of, how are your injuries?" I asked, worried I'd taken it too far with this kiss.

"They're okay. Right now, my cock's bothering me more."

"My, my, you sure learned to be vulgar with your words."

He laughed. "You asked!"

"About your injuries, Ashton, not the current state of your—"

"Dick?"

I rolled my eyes, secretly wishing to suck it. But I knew my limits. And doing it on a hospital bed was definitely one of those.

"There was something I planned on asking you, though," he suddenly said, his voice taking on a serious tone.

"What was it?" I tilted my head aside to face him as he did the same.

"Your photos. You took them all down. What happened?"

I wondered if he'd noticed it the last time he'd been to the house.

"When I was in the hospital after my breakdown, I had to teach myself how to fall asleep without them, and I guess I kept that habit with me."

His forehead creased.

"So what did you do?"

"I thought of you." I smiled and leaned in close until I kissed his forehead. "Now, whenever I close my eyes, I have two hundred and twenty-two pictures of you, Ashton. And when I count, no matter what it is, whether it's the seconds passing on my watch or the tiles on the floor, I imagine it's your photos I'm counting."

I dared to look him in the eyes only to find him staring back at me with love. Real, true, pure love that cured my broken soul in more ways than I'd ever be able to thank him for.

Unable to resist the urge, I leaned against him and closed my eyes. This time, I didn't need to imagine him in my head because my little Sparrow had finally returned to me. Only now, he was more of a falcon than a sparrow. And while beautiful and majestic, I had no plans to try and tame him again because birds were meant to fly. And if loving him meant spending my days looking up at the bright sky, that was precisely what I'd do. Because loving Ashton Sage wasn't even a question but a given fact that had engraved itself onto my heart years ago, when he found me lost in a garden of roses.