Chapter 63
Ash
P ulling into the parking lot of what used to be our shore, I saw Andrei's truck parked right next to Kai's. My heart dropped because my fears turned out to be true, and Kai was stupid enough to go surfing in the middle of a fucking storm.
"Shit," I hissed under my breath, stopping my car and getting out. The blasting wind hit my face, the sand and salt it carried stinging my skin and getting into my eyes.
"I went down to the shore, but the visibility is terrible 'cause of the wind, and the waves are too high to see anything from there," Andrei yelled over the whistle of the wind as I checked the inside of Kai's Jeep.
"And he's not on the beach?" I asked.
"No," Miles said while trying to keep his hair out of his eyes. "Before you got here, Andrei and I walked around. He's definitely not on the beach."
Shit.
I glanced over my shoulder at the ocean. It was crazy out there, and I feared the worst, yet I wasn't about to give up so quickly.
"We need to call the coast guard," I heard Soren saying from beside me as he himself looked at the dark water.
"We don't have time for that," I said, already walking back to my truck.
"What on earth are you saying?" he rasped while following me.
I opened the bed of my truck and quickly pulled my wet suit. I was about to start getting undressed when Soren grabbed my arm.
"You're not getting in there, Ashton."
Not saying a word, I held his stare. Seeing the fear in his eyes growing by the second didn't make it any easier, but I couldn't just stand here and do nothing.
His brows pulled close before they relaxed with disbelief, and he gasped my name. At first, he held me tighter but then slowly relaxed his grip. I guess he knew there was nothing he could do to stop me from going in there. Absolutely nothing . Kai might have done unforgivable things to me, but he'd forever be someone I cared about deeply. My best friend. My first love. My first heartbreak.
Once Soren dropped his hand from my arm, I turned back to my car and began stripping down. I always carried my surf stuff in my trunk because who knew when you'd want to catch some waves? Andrei was the same, going with his board everywhere, but when I saw him also putting on his wet suit, I stopped.
"You're not going in there with me, kid."
"I'm not taking no for an answer," he said, zipping himself up.
Okay, then.
"Ashton, please think about this a bit more," Soren begged me as we went down to the shore.
I hated doing this to him, but he had to trust me.
"You know, there was something I always wanted to tell you," I said, stopping to face him.
Confused, Soren focused his scared eyes on me, and I doubted I'd ever seen him this worried. Maybe only that cursed night seven years ago, when he decided to break both our hearts without explanation.
"You worry way too much, Verano ." I pressed my fist to his chest, right where his heart was beating fast. Automatically, he moved to grab my wrist, his thumb caressing the skin the wet suit didn't cover.
"It's because you never give me a break."
Smiling, I moved my hand up and rested it against his strong jaw. Turning his head, Soren kissed my palm, his soft lips lingering on my skin. I loved this vulnerable side of him but had no time to admire it because each minute was valuable. Breaking the connection was hard, but I forced myself to move.
Since the moment I'd found out Kai was missing, my heart had been racing like crazy. I was scared as fuck, anxious about what would happen. Yet the second my feet met the cold water, all the noises in my head quieted down, and I was focused on the mission. The ocean was always my home, where I came when I needed guidance. Now was no different, and despite the tall waves and strong wind, I'd trust it and myself.
I turned to glance at Andrei, whose eyes were already on me, waiting for my signal. One nod was all it took before we ran in, boards under our arms. Jumping headfirst was quite a shock since the water was freezing, but working on my breathing helped. "Stay away from those rocks." I pointed at them. "And there's a strong rip current to the right, so keep to your left and avoid areas where waves aren't breaking."
"Okay," Andrei called back. It was harder to hear him over the crashing waves.
"And if you get caught in one, don't fight against it," I reminded him of the first rule of the ocean: never, and I mean never, try to beat a rip because the water would always win. Rips would flow faster than a person could swim, and eventually, you'd get tired and start panicking.
A glint of hope came in the form of a sunray, hitting the ocean a few miles away. I told myself we'd find Kai once we got there, so that was where we swam. We had a bit of paddling to get there, but we'd manage. Thankfully, the water was a bit calmer now without the rain, and if we worked fast enough, we might get Kai out of here alive.
Once we got to that small ring of light, we sat up on our boards, trying to look around. It almost felt impossible until—
"There," Andrei yelled, pointing his finger at a white spot that stood out against the dark water.
Squinting my eyes, I managed to focus on the figure long enough to recognize it was Kai, paddling through the waves, fighting to stay above water.
Thank God. He's alive. But from his heavy stroking and slumped body, he looked exhausted.
The strong wind and the rolling waves made it hard to move forward. Swaying from side to side, each stroke we made felt like it was taking us backward, but we didn't give up. My lungs burned, and my muscles hurt with the effort until I was close enough to call his name.
Kai turned around, looking for the source of the voice until his eyes landed on me. For a moment, it seemed like he didn't believe what he was seeing, but once I reached him and was able to put my hand on his arm, his expression changed.
"W-What are you doing here?" he gasped, breathless.
Just like I suspected, he was holding on to his board with his last ounce of strength, his knuckles going white with how hard he clenched it. Who knew how long he'd been here?
"I'm here to take you back home." My eyes studied him carefully.
"A-Ashy, I'm so sorry," he choked, but we didn't have time to get emotional.
"Are you injured anywhere?"
He shook his head, and I noticed his stare was unfocused. He was either too tired or still high, but thankfully, he was unharmed.
He swallowed hard and spat some water. "No, but I can't reach the shore. Whenever I try to, the current pulls me deeper in," he said while panting, then rested his head down on his board. "I'm tired, Ashy. I don't think I can make it."
"Don't," I warned. "You need to stay focused a little more so we can get out of here."
I looked at Andrei. "You good?"
"You bet."
God , I loved that kid.
"And you." I pointed at Kai. "You're not giving up, or I'll fucking kill you."
Kai seemed to pull himself together before he nodded.
I stretched my neck and looked around for whitecaps or breaking waves that would help us get to the shore. Luckily, I spotted a zone that seemed good enough. The only problem was that it was a bit too close to the rocks, which we needed to avoid.
"We'll paddle that way." I pointed in the direction while giving the two a short brief. "Andrei, you make sure Kai's beside you at all costs."
My kid nodded.
Feeling water coming from above, I looked up at the sky. It had started raining again, and I knew it was time to move. "Let's go," I said, my hands already breaking the surface as I started paddling.
"I'm so fucking sorry," Kai began crying midway.
"Now's not the time," I yelled, trying to push him to keep moving. We couldn't afford to waste time with the weather starting to get worse again.
"We'll all die because of me."
"No, we won't." Andrei smiled while rubbing Kai's shoulder. "We're almost there, you see?" He pointed over to the spot we were trying to reach. "Just save your breath and take long strokes. It will help."
"Hear him, Kai?" I tried joking to loosen him up. "The kid thinks he can teach us." I winked at Andrei. "We've been surfing since long before you were even conceived, kiddo." Now I sounded like my uncle.
A half laugh broke past Kai's trembling lips before he nodded, and it almost felt like we were doing okay when suddenly, we were pulled back in a flash, the water hitting my body so hard, dragging it underneath the surface in a vacuum.
It was a flash rip. One of the worst things you could come across while surfing.
The violent riptide moved me with it, and I barely managed to hold my head above water to get a few breaths in and see Kai and Andrei struggling the same way I was.
"Stay with him—" Water got into my mouth, and I quickly closed it as the waves carried me away. The strong flow pulled me down, then up. "Stay with each other!" I managed to shout. I heard Andrei calling my name back, right before everything went silent as I was pulled underwater again, the rip dragging me deeper and deeper, swaying my body from side to side. I lost my board the first time the waves crashed down on me, and without the leash keeping me attached to it, there was nothing to help me float back. It felt like I was being torn away from my life as the water kept swallowing me whole, moving my body like a leaf in the wind. Brief seconds turned into dragging minutes in which I couldn't breathe, and when everything around me turned black, I thought about my father.
He'd died while free diving, and I wondered if, in his final moments, he, too, felt betrayed by the thing he loved the most.
The ocean .
But then I thought about my mom and the kids. I thought of how I'd never get to see them again, and I wondered where Diesel was right now. But in those last seconds in which everything turned cold, Soren was the only thing in my mind. Soren and the future I so desperately wanted to share with him and might never get the chance to have.
Soren
Waiting on the shore and looking at the ocean while knowing my biggest treasure was inside the belly of this raging beast was torture like no other. Each wave that crashed made my heart stop until my chest grew so tight that breathing was nearly impossible.
I walked back and forth on the sand while running my fingers through my hair, nearly pulling it from the roots as I waited for them to come out.
"You worry way too much, Verano," he'd told me right before he ran into that danger without looking back.
How could I not worry?
How could I not reach for your arm after you called me your summer?
That was what he said. Verano —the Spanish word for summer. But when did I become your summer? I thought I was winter. Cold and lonely like an old man, grasping through life with shivering hands.
The question was picking at my skull, turning me even more anxious. Please, Ashton, just come back so I can ask you that.
Time stood still, with me staring into the eye of the storm, more scared than I had ever been in my life before. Meanwhile, Miles spoke to me, and although I didn't want to ignore my boss's son, his attempt to comfort me by saying Andrei and Ashton would be fine was nothing if not annoying. How young and naive was he to think he could promise me what he could not control? I couldn't blame him, as this was part of youth. The most beautiful part of it. The confidence to think you'd live to overcome all obstacles in life. Only this kind of thinking was what led me to lose Ashton in the first place. Back then, I thought we'd be able to overcome the toxicity and lies that coated our relationship and live happily ever after, only to get a cold slap from reality.
I wouldn't repeat the same mistakes, and until I held him in my arms again, I wouldn't fall into empty promises.
When a figure emerged from the water, I could finally breathe; that was, until I saw who it was. Falling to his knees the moment he reached shallow waters, Kai began coughing out salt water. He needed help, but I couldn't bring myself to move and instead remained rooted to the sand while watching Miles running to assist him.
My heart thrummed in my ears, my panic growing wild as Kai's mumbling turned into actual words.
"I killed him," he cried between coughing. "He's dead because of me."
Finally able to move, I darted toward him, jerking Miles away as I gripped Kai's shoulder and shook him hard.
"Who's him ?" I yelled, my throat ripping apart. "What happened?"
Kai struggled to focus his eyes on me and continued spurting unhelpful crap. For God's sake! I needed him to answer me—
"Soren!" Miles gasped after I slapped Kai with the back of my hand, so hard the guy probably saw stars. Yet, before he could go into shock again, I held him close.
"What happened? Where are they?"
The idiot sniffed before he pointed at the waves. "We tried reaching a safe spot when a flash rip took us by surprise." He sobbed. "It dragged Ashy away in seconds before either of us could do anything." His sobbing turned into crying at the same time my whole body turned to ice. "A-Andrei tried going after him, but he disappeared, too."
The urge to slip my hands from his shoulders down to his throat and tighten my grip until he ceased to exist was unbearable.
I tried counting the seconds in my head to get those obsessive thoughts out of my mind, but it didn't help. My mouth dried, and my temples throbbed as I swallowed hard, my fingers already twitching to move—
"Andrei!" Miles called, snapping my attention at once.
Looking straight ahead, I saw Andrei stumbling out of the water with Ashton in his arms. I dropped Kai at once and jumped to my feet, only to fall back to the sand before getting up again.
Andrei carried Ashton until they reached the safe zone, and he put Ashton's unconscious body down before he slumped down and began coughing out water. Without wasting time, I dropped to my knees beside Ashton, tilted his head back, and lifted his chin. His skin was ice-cold, but it didn't stop me, and I bent down until my lips were on his. I had kissed this man a million times, but never before was a kiss as important as this one. And in this dreadful moment, my sole wish was to kiss him a million times more.
After giving him two breaths, I positioned the heel of my strong hand at the center of his chest and began doing compressions. Counting came easy, and I moved in a trance, counting to thirty, then two and thirty again. But seconds turned into long minutes in which hope began to thin, and fat tears welled in my eyes. Each time I breathed into his mouth, I prayed for God to hear my calls and help me save this man because the world would be a colder place without its sun.
The wind whistled around us, and the rain only got stronger. My hands hurt, and I became tired, my body aching with agonizing pain from the inside out. Tears blurred my vision, yet I forced myself to stay calm and do my best.
"Goddamnit, Ashton!" I shouted while giving him another thirty compressions. "Don't you dare die on me!" My voice was so hoarse and raw that I couldn't even recognize it. "If you live, I promise you we'll have as many kids as you want," I cried, still trying to pump air into his lungs, not stopping even for one second. Why now, of all times, could I see it so clearly? Our future . Him and me, traveling the world, building fucking sandcastles with our children and dogs. Why was life this cruel?
Then, in a miracle that lasted only a second, Ashton's chest rose, and he coughed, choking on the water he'd drowned on. I quickly turned him to his side as he continued to wheeze and puke out everything that he'd swallowed, his body shaking while he did. And although the sound was repelling, it gave me comfort because it meant he was alive.
"Take it easy, my love, a breath at a time," I whispered to him, and to myself, while brushing his wet hair away from his face. "Take it easy. I'm here."
At some point, his gasping turned into a choked sob, and so I turned him to his back when he grunted with pain.
"I-It hurts," he mumbled, eyes closed.
"What does?" I asked, already looking for injuries, but it was hard to see with his wet suit on.
"Everything."
Biting my lip, I attempted to hold back a cry because, currently, there was nothing left for me to do other than wait for the EMTs to arrive. If he'd broken something, moving him might make it worse, so instead, I slid my hand into his and held it tight.
"Don't worry, little Sparrow. It will all be okay soon." I kissed his forehead, thanking God for hearing my prayers.