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Chapter 47

Ash

W ith my hands shoved in my pockets, I looked around the empty restaurant. It was early afternoon, meaning it would stay closed for at least a couple more hours. Yet, the staff was already in the kitchen, busy with preparation for rush hour. On most weekends, I joined Kai at the market to shop for his restaurant. Today wasn't one of those times, and when I woke up to an empty bed this morning, sadness pierced my heart. That was why I decided to come here as soon as I could.

A few minutes had passed since I'd arrived, and finally, Kai stepped out of the kitchen, wearing his chef clothes. He was always so sexy dressed this way, and I was ashamed to admit that, more than once, we'd fucked in this kitchen.

"Hey," I said, pushing back from the table I leaned against.

He stopped before me.

"Hey."

I twisted my lips, feeling guilty over the black eye he was sporting, thanks to me. "Sorry about that." I reached my hand and softly caressed the bruise.

He hissed at the touch, making me chuckle.

"Does it still hurt?"

"Like a motherfucker."

I tried to pull my hand away, but he grabbed my wrist, keeping it close.

"But I totally deserved it," he said with a crooked smile that was sinfully sexy.

"No, you didn't." I looked between us, biting my lips. "I shouldn't have hit you so hard."

"Well, I didn't listen to you when you asked me to stop, and that's an asshole thing to do." He poked my chin, causing me to look up and meet his blue eyes.

His smile was contagious, and my lips immediately pulled up to match his.

"You mean it?"

"Yeah, I do." He then moved a hand over his thick stubble that was begging to form a mustache. "I felt rejected, and it sucked, Ashy."

"I know." My throat dried up. "I'm sorry about that."

"I'm not talking just about yesterday." He tilted his head to the side, his eyes studying me. "This whole week, you've been avoiding me, and I hated it."

Kai had a point. I was avoiding him because of my kiss with Soren. Last night, I wanted to tell him about it, but now, when things seemed to be okay, maybe it was unnecessary.

"I'll stop pushing you away. I promise."

Kai was about to say something in response when a woman stopped beside us. She looked young, and because of her clothes, I assumed she was one of the staff here.

"Something wrong?" Kai asked her, sounding unfazed.

"No, I just wanted to give you this." She handed him a paper bag, which he took without even checking what it was. "Thanks," he added, not bothering with another word before going back to me.

Getting the message, the girl left.

"Who's that?"

"One of our new waitresses. She's nice, just started college."

"Oh." Peeking over Kai's shoulder, I watched her as she walked away when Kai suddenly hooked his finger in the loop of my jeans and pulled me close.

"How about we spend the night at my place?" he asked, his hands keeping me pressed to him, his spicy cologne surrounding me. "We can eat dinner, then watch a movie?"

Loving the sound of that, I nodded and leaned my head against him.

"It's a date."

"Right there, yes, fuck, yes," I cried, half my face shoved into the pillow while Kai's cock hit my prostate after he repositioned himself behind me.

"Yeah? You like that?" he rasped, voice oozing with lust while his hands grabbed my waist, moving me with the rhythm of his fervent thrusts.

"Y-Yeah, I do," I moaned, eyes rolling to the back of my head with how good his dick felt inside of me.

After getting to Kai's condo, we skipped the movie and dinner altogether and went straight to the fucking. What started in the kitchen led to the shower, which eventually brought us to Kai's bed. Right now, I was on all fours, body covered with sweat, while Kai was hitting me from behind in the good, old doggy style. It was messy, dirty, and hot—all the things I loved about him.

"You're so tight, babe," he groaned, pounding my ass, his balls smacking against me with each move. Rolling his hips, he increased his pace, and I began pushing back against his thrusts. My cock, heavy and full, hung between my burning thighs and ached for relief. Unable to hold back, I sent a hand down and grabbed myself. My strokes matched Kai's rhythm, my fingers squeezing my dick tighter, milking pearls of precum while Kai kept telling me how sexy I looked. Soon, I burst in my fist at the same time Kai came into the condom, his body shaking until he was done and drained.

He pulled out and slumped on his back, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breaths. Doing the same, I watched him as he rolled off the condom and tied it up.

"Maybe next week we can get tested?" I offered.

After tossing the used rubber, Kai got back to lying beside me, one arm tucked under his head.

"Yeah?"

I nodded. "If we're going to start sleeping just with each other, why not? Condoms suck."

"What you're saying is like music to my ears, babe." He grabbed my jaw and planted a kiss on my lips. Not surprised when he deepened it, I opened my mouth for him, and he pushed his tongue inside. If it weren't for my stomach suddenly growling, we'd probably have gotten into another round.

"Someone's hungry," he chuckled into the kiss.

"Well, we skipped dinner and went straight to sex." I tossed my arms around his shoulders and flopped my head. "Now, I'm starving and could definitely use some food."

Smacking my ass, Kai kissed my head. "Go and take a shower while I start cooking us dinner."

"Well, that's music to my ears."

He winked at me before getting up and walking out of the room.

Smitten, I moved my ass and walked over to the bathroom, taking my sweet time under the hot water. We had great sex, but cleaning up afterward was never fun. I didn't find sex to be something dirty unless I wanted it dirty, but properly cleaning before and after was a habit I'd learned from Soren. He was always strict when it came to hygiene. Or when it came to washing his cum out of my used ass— Shit . Now he was in my head again, even though he shouldn't be.

Frustrated, I turned off the tap and grabbed a towel from the hanger. Soren had texted me this morning, but I hadn't opened it. Not yet. Positive that his text wasn't about the case, because if it were, he would have called, I ignored it. He probably wrote me something about the kiss again. I should have deleted it right away, as I did with the other texts he'd sent me over the week. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Anyway, I'd delete it as soon as I was done drying up.

Back inside the bedroom, I put on a pair of Kai's sweats and looked around for my phone—it was charging on the dresser. Walking over there, I noticed the white paper bag Kai had gotten from his waitress sitting beside it. Didn't he plan on putting it away?

I grabbed my phone when curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to peek inside the bag. Bright lilac immediately caught my eye, and I dropped my phone to check the bag's contents with two hands. My mouth split open as I pulled the hoodie, my hoodie , out of it. With shaking fingers, I held it in front of me to make sure it truly was my hoodie and not some mistake.

Yes .

There was no mistake about that.

This was the same hoodie Kai had stolen from my closet years ago, with the sleeves still stained with my blood. The same hoodie he'd had with him in the car only yesterday.

Wanting to be exclusive, my ass.

Rage I didn't know I was capable of feeling took over me at once, making me understand that saying about your vision turning red, because right now, I was seeing fucking crimson. Clenching the damn hoodie in my fist, I stormed out of the room and walked straight to the kitchen.

"You fucking liar!" I shouted at him, tossing the damn cloth in his shocked face. Glancing at the hoodie and back at me, it took Kai a moment to realize what was going on before he raised one hand before him.

"Ash—"

"You fucked her, didn't you?" My own words hurt me as I tossed them into the air. Swallowing hard, I shook my head. "You dropped me off like I was this piece of shit and then drove away to fuck some eighteen-year-old waitress!"

"I can explain."

"I don't give a shit about your explanation." My face heated up, and my throat dried out, but I didn't feel like crying. No. I felt like breaking something, smacking it to pieces, and if it could be Kai's face, that was even better.

"I felt rejected, okay?" he yelled, trying to defend himself. "You were cold, and I just—"

"You just what, Kai?" I shook my head, taking a step closer until we were face-to-face. "You just what?" I urged him to speak as he began to stammer his lame excuses. When he shut up, I went on. "I didn't want to sleep with you, so you went out and got laid? Is that seriously all this is to you?" I waved between us, spit flying from my mouth.

"I fucked up, okay?" He swallowed hard, brows pulling close. "But she meant nothing."

"None of them do, Kai." My voice turned high. "All those strangers always mean nothing to you while, in fact, I'm the one who means nothing to you." I pointed at myself with two hands, my whole body vibrating.

"That's bullshit!" Grabbing my shoulders, he squeezed me hard. "You mean everything to me, Ashy. You know that."

I shrugged him off me, my eyes rolling. "I mean everything to you when it suits you, Kai. Only then. When things don't go your way…" I raised my hands in a mock surrender and stepped back. "When things don't go your way, you don't give a flying fuck about me or anyone else. You know—" I pointed over to the floor, where he dropped my hoodie. "—the fact that you kept this shit at all is just more proof of that." I tsked, remembering that damn birthday where he punched me to the ground after using my thighs to jerk off. "Are you even aware of what you did to me that night?" My lips pulled back in a silent snarl. "You made me want to die, Kai. But of course, you wouldn't know that because all you ever care about is your own ass." With that, I turned around and began walking back to his room to grab my things. Sickness crawled down my spine with the thought that we'd just had sex. I felt filthy. Rotten to my core with regret.

"You're overreacting, Ashy. It was just sex, and it wasn't like I hadn't fucked other people until five days ago," he tried groveling while following me around the house.

"Un-fucking-believable," I hissed, unable to even face him. "You're un-fucking-believable."

Going into his room, I grabbed my phone and quickly tossed a shirt over my body. When I was ready to leave, Kai stood at the doorway, not letting me pass.

"Can you just calm down and talk to me?"

"No, asshole." I pushed him aside and walked into the hall. "I'm getting out of here."

"Come on, babe. I'm sorry, okay?" He walked before me, placing his hands on my shoulders and forcing me to stop. "I'm fucking sorry."

His blue eyes begged me to stay, but the same as his words, I didn't fall for it.

"Move aside, or I'll punch you again. And this time, I'll break your nose."

He seemed uncertain if I was telling the truth, but when I didn't budge a single muscle, he cleared the way.

"You know, you're one to talk." The ridges of his neck stood out, his lips pulling out on one side. "Like you've not been obsessed with him since he returned."

Of course he'd try and throw a low blow. Kai was never one to know how to lose, and he always had to have the last word. To stab you with a knife and twist it for good measure.

Unable to bear one more minute of looking at him, I turned around, grabbed my keys from the counter, and got out of his apartment, not being subtle about slamming the door behind me.

I needed a break from him and his bullshit. A break until I calmed the fuck down because I was still vibrating with rage. Thick, bubbling anger that steamed inside my body like hot lava.

I felt betrayed and fooled. Mostly, I felt worthless. Kai couldn't even wait for us to talk and set things right before he went out to stick his dick in the first living creature he found. He didn't stop to think about my feelings for one moment after he left me at the house and, most certainly, before he shoved his cock into that girl's vagina.

He was a pig. An asshole. A complete jerk who had always done whatever he wanted ever since we were fucking teens.

Now, the tears in my eyes weren't ones of anger but of pain. Sadness over how stupid I'd been to think, even for a second, that he meant it when he said he wanted to change. What did I expect? For years, I'd gotten used to him getting whatever the fuck he wanted. Fucking other people? Check. Screwing me when he wanted? Check. Sucking his cock? Check. Giving him money to open up his restaurant? Double check.

I pulled my truck out of the parking spot in a quick move and got on the road so fast I nearly hit another car. The bastard honked at me before rolling his window down to curse my mother.

"Fuck you," I shouted back, then rolled up my window and hit the gas. Being this angry wasn't like me. It was Kai's fault. He was the one to bring this ugly monster out of me. It made me feel sick, literally sick, because I didn't know what to do with all this rage. Breathing became harder, and focusing on the road almost seemed impossible. I switched between lanes, ignored stop signs, and dashed down the road when an idea finally came into my mind.

Kai never stopped to think about me before screwing someone else, so why should I?

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