Chapter 21

Kai

I 'd hoped to see Ash again and assumed it would happen eventually, now that I'd moved into Aiden's house. Yet, I didn't expect it to happen on my first day here.

There we were, me looking like an idiot wearing a pair of dirty joggers that had seen better days and Ash looking as dazzling as you could imagine, standing in front of each other without saying a word.

Fuck . Ash looked exactly as I remembered and, at the same time, not. He'd matured, but it had more to do with his clothes and hairstyle than his beautiful face. He was dressed like a member of my dad's golf club, with tailored shorts, a polo, and loafers. When did he ever wear loafers? His brown hair, which he'd never put any effort into and just kept it short, was now longer and styled with not a single hair out of place.

But as soon as his initial shock melted and a small, bashful smile crept onto his plump lips, I saw the guy who always wore the ripped jeans he had bought in a secondhand shop by the beach and who didn't care if he walked an entire day with sand in his hair. The guy, I realized a little too late, I was in love with.

"What were you just doing?" Ash asked, breaking the awkward silence we fell into.

Moving my hand through my long hair, I offered him an awkward smile. "Took a selfie."

"Of your…" His eyes darted to the waistband of my sweats, which still hung low enough for a bit of my pubes to peek from underneath.

"Well, you know how it is nowadays with all those dating apps." I laughed, but it died slowly as Ash kept quiet.

"I don't know, actually… Never used one." He looked at the floor.

"That's right. You've been in a relationship for… how long now?"

"Five years."

Fuck. That was a long fucking time to be with the same person.

"That's nice." I stretched my neck and scratched my chin. "So things between you two are good?"

Ash's eyes looked everywhere but at me when he muttered a low yes that could hardly be heard. He was always a quiet guy, even more so when he stood next to me, so I didn't dive too deep into why he seemed so awkward. It was probably because of me. After all, we hadn't seen each other for years.

"So, what did you come for?" I tried to get us talking again. It was better than continuing to stand in silence like two strangers at a bus stop.

"Aiden said he bought Pacha a collar. I came to pick it up."

"Pacha?"

"Oh." He rubbed the back of his neck, the same way his uncle often did. "Pacha's my dog. A pit bull."

"That's cool. You always wanted a dog, right?"

He nodded, and I noticed how he was still avoiding my eyes. It was a shame because I loved his eyes, but I didn't want to push him or anything.

"Anyway, Aiden went camping for a few nights." I turned around and grabbed my shirt from the couch. "But let's check, maybe he left it in the kitchen? He told me all kinds of things before leaving, but I was distracted by the TV."

"Were you watching The Bachelor ?"

I stopped before putting on my shirt and side-eyed him.

"It's a great show."

"Yeah, sure." He chuckled. "You always had lousy taste."

I'd loved that show since we were kids because it was fucking awesome. Ash, who couldn't see the point in that masterpiece, loved teasing me over it. But at least teasing me made him look at me again, and now that our eyes met, I kept admiring how sexy he was.

"I actually think I have great taste."

Ash's cheeks turned red, and he moved his eyes to my arm. "You got tattoos," he said in an attempt to change the subject.

"Yeah." I stretched my right arm to show him the ink. "Now, I gotta do the other arm. Already have the design and all."

"That's nice."

I put on my shirt before smirking at him. "I know, right? What's a chef without two full sleeves."

We started walking toward the kitchen.

"I remember Aiden telling me you're a chef now. That's impressive." His voice turned softer. "But you were always an amazing cook."

"Aww, were you talking about me?" I asked, trying to hide my excitement by joking around and pretending I found it amusing while, in fact, my stomach just flipped.

"My uncle always talks about you."

"Well, with me, he always talks about you." I looked at Ash over my shoulder and caught him staring at my back just before he dropped his gaze to the floor. He's so cute.

I scanned the kitchen but couldn't see anything. It was unlikely that Aiden had forgotten something, but then again, maybe he didn't? I mean, wasn't it a coincidence that Ash came here the day I moved in, just when I was home, alone? Ugh , the old bastard, playing matchmaker in his spare time.

"It doesn't look like he left you the collar, but we can try calling him," I said while turning to look at Ash, who was busy scanning the room.

"Nah, I'd rather not bother him. I'll just come back another day." He pressed his lips together while rubbing the back of his nape. "Aiden told me you moved in." It didn't sound like a question but a fact he casually mentioned.

"Yeah. Today, actually. I've got one of the spare bedrooms upstairs."

"Oh, cool…"

We fell into silence again; the only sound filling the room was that of the oven's clock ticking. Annoyed and impatient, I snapped my fingers.

"How about I make us something to drink?"

Ash shook his head. "I need to go—"

"Come on, Ashy ."

His eyes widened.

Knowing I got his attention, I went on. "We haven't talked for over four fucking years. The least we can do is have a cup of coffee together."

He bit on the tip of his nail before nodding, and I found it funny he was still doing that shit.

Ten minutes later, we sat on the back porch facing the ocean. The afternoon's heat began to subside and was replaced with a warm breeze.

"So basically, Aiden was bullshitting you since I'm not a chef but a sous chef in a kitchen with a total of four cooks," I told Ash after he asked me about my job. "The head chef is awesome, though. A true Italian from Milan. I learn a lot from him."

Ash took a sip from his coffee, which he now drank with oat milk, and smiled. "That's amazing," he said, his eyes focusing on the mug he held close to his chest.

"It was all thanks to Aiden, who put in a good word for me. You'd be surprised how many people don't want to hire an ex-addict," I tried joking but immediately felt the shift in mood as Ash tensed beside me. While I was cool with talking and even laughing about those days, maybe he wasn't.

"Anyway, forget about me. I heard you graduated recently." Last month, Aiden proudly mentioned Ash had finished his bachelor's degree. I never thought he'd go to college, with how much he hated school, but people change.

"I did."

I patted his back, and he was sent slightly forward. "Congratulations, dude, that's amazing. Business, right?"

"Business psychology, actually," Ash said, then shifted a bit on the bench we sat on so we'd have more distance between us. His reaction to my touch, as subtle as it was, hurt. It wasn't like I meant anything by touching his shoulder, but even that bothered him. We used to be all over each other, but that was years ago, and, as I said, people change.

"How's Paris?" he asked, his question surprising me.

Deciding not to linger on his discomfort from my touch, I pulled my phone out and swiped through the gallery to a recent picture I'd taken of my kid. "He's almost five, can you believe that?" I said, handing Ash the phone.

Ash's lips curved into a big smile as he studied the photo. "He looks so much like you," he said, using two fingers to zoom in on Paris's adorable face and wavy blond hair, which was as long as mine.

"He really does," I said proudly, then took my phone back and looked at the picture myself. "You should see him in the water. He catches waves better than me."

"He surfs?"

"You bet. Aiden and I taught him." I scrolled through the gallery until I found a video of him catching a wave last week. "That kid was born to surf."

Ash looked stunned while watching the screen, and once again, I saw a glimpse of the boy I grew up with. A boost of warmth filled my gut, and I couldn't help but smile like an idiot until my face fucking hurt.

"We should go surfing together sometime."

Suddenly, his face fell. "I don't really surf anymore."

That came as a shock to me, and I gasped. "What? How come—"

His phone rang, cutting me off midsentence, and I managed to see the name "Soren" on the screen right before he got up to take the call. I couldn't hear what he was saying since he walked away. As he talked, I tried to understand how the fuck it could be that Ash, of all people, had quit surfing. I planned on asking him what happened, but he didn't leave room for any questions when he returned.

"I need to go."

Short, simple, no explanation.

I forced a smile because I didn't want him to go.

"So soon?"

He nodded.

"Let's meet up for coffee again, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, but I knew he didn't mean it. He was always such a lousy liar.

"Let me walk you to your car." I jumped to my feet before he could refuse and began walking beside him until we got to his Porsche Cayenne, which was one hell of a good car. I almost forgot his boyfriend was loaded as fuck. Now that I no longer had my family's money, since they'd literally disowned me, I'd saved every penny until I could afford my first motorcycle. It wasn't my dream bike, but it was definitely a start for a twenty-two-year-old guy.

Ash was ready to climb into the car when he stopped and turned to me, a small, soft smile on his lips.

"I'm happy you're doing well."

They were such simple words to say, yet they meant so much. The only problem was that the way he said them almost felt like a goodbye, and I wasn't ready for that. Today was only the beginning of me trying to fix what I'd broken and not some stupid closure for our friendship.

Shoving my hands in my sweats pocket, I nodded. "Thanks. By the way—" I cocked my head at him. "—I didn't say it earlier, but you look really good, Ashy ."

His face flushed red, and he swallowed hard before clearing his throat. "Yeah, well, bye." He then climbed into his car and drove off, leaving me feeling giddy as fuck.

Our short meeting only confirmed one thing to me, and it was that I was still head over heels for my best friend.