Chapter 15

Ash

T he sound of the music coming from the party danced on my nerves, so I closed the windows in my pickup truck while waiting in silence for Kai. It was almost eleven, and I wondered if Soren had returned home or if he was still caught up at the office. If he was, it wouldn't be the first time he'd worked through the night.

As the minutes passed, my worry grew that Kai wouldn't follow me. The last thing I wanted was to involve his parents, but what other choice did I have? He'd relapsed. I had no idea when it happened or if he was ever sober to begin with, but he needed help. The problem was he didn't want any help. I had no experience with addictions, and I was scared that Nico's words would turn out to be true.

Struck by a sudden cold, I turned up the heat and leaned back while tapping the steering wheel with the pads of my fingers. So lost in thought, I jumped when the passenger door burst open, and Kai climbed in.

Without speaking, he closed the door and sank into the seat with a hollow expression that worried the hell out of me. What was going on inside his head? Also, why was he bouncing his legs so much? Was sitting still so hard for him?

We began driving back, and I glanced Kai's way every now and then. His expression hadn't changed since he got into my truck, and it seriously freaked me out. So caught up with him, I took the wrong turn on one of the bends, leading us up an isolated hill. Topanga Canyon had lots of those hidden roads that led to nowhere, and I guessed we were on one.

"We're lost," Kai grunted from beside me.

Oh, now he chooses to talk?

"We're not lost."

"Do you know where we are?"

"No."

"So we're lost," he huffed.

Ignoring him, I focused on the road ahead, which only seemed to get worse. To our left was a cliff, and to our right, a forest.

"Just turn the damn car around, or we'll get stuck."

"I can't turn around here. It's too narrow."

He straightened up in his seat and looked around. "You can. Just fucking do it."

"I can't… Hey!" I shouted when he yanked the steering wheel from me, forcing us to make a sharp move. The truck jerked and swerved in the road. I slammed on the brakes as hard as I could, trying to get the car under control. We fishtailed for a few nerve-racking seconds, and I was sure we were going to die or, at the very least, overturn. By some miracle, we didn't. After finally gaining control, the truck stilled.

With eyes wide and hands gripping the wheel so hard my knuckles turned white, I tried taking in some air into my burning lungs. My heart was beating so fast I was sure it would burst out of my chest.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" I shouted at him once I gathered my breath, annoyed with how unfazed he looked.

"Why are you getting so worked up?" He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and shoved a smoke between his lips.

"You almost killed us." I snatched the cig away from him and tossed it out the window.

"Hey—"

"Shut up!"

Fucking pissed off, I kicked the gas, ready to get the hell out of here and drop Kai anyplace that wasn't near me. But when I tried to drive, I found that the truck had got stuck in the mud, and no matter how much I pressed the gas, it didn't help, and we only sank deeper.

"You gotta be shitting me," Kai hissed while peeking out of his window at the back of the car. "You got us stuck."

"Me?" I gaped at him.

"Yes, you," he snarled, his jaw tense. "You always drove like a bitch."

Unable to share the same breathing space as him, I pushed aside his insults, turned off the engine, and stepped out of the damn truck. Kai followed me out, but I ignored him as I picked up the flashlight we kept in the bed of the truck and moved to check how badly we were stuck. One glance was enough to tell we were deep in the mud.

Huffing, I ran my fingers through my hair. There was no way I'd be able to get the car out by myself. Meanwhile, as I was trying to find a solution, Kai had found a rock to sit on, smoking his cigarette and digging into a wound he had on his elbow. It didn't seem like he'd be willing to help.

Taking out my phone, I pressed it to my lips, wondering who I should call. Mom could easily rescue us with her pickup truck, but she'd be heartbroken if she saw Kai right now. And it was the last thing I wanted to do. It was also late, and she was probably asleep. I was ready to call Aiden, who was usually still up around this hour, when my phone rang in my hand, and I saw it was Soren.

Clearing my throat, I took the call. "H-Hey."

"Where are you?" He sounded bothered.

"Oh, it's a long story." I rubbed the back of my neck, noticing Kai's eyes were on me. "But it's good that you called because I sort of need your help."

"What's wrong? Are you safe? Did you get hurt?"

His worry burdened me with guilt, but it also warmed my heart and brought a slight smile to my lips.

"I'm safe, but my car got stuck in the middle of a dirt road. Can you come and pick me up? I'm here with a friend."

Soren sighed, and the line went silent for a second. "Why are you stuck on a dirt road in the middle of the night with a friend ?" He nearly hissed the last word.

"I'll explain everything later. I promise."

"Who are you talking to?" Kai asked from where he was sitting.

Ignoring him, I turned around and went back to the phone.

"Who's that?" Soren sounded even more annoyed than before.

"My friend."

Kai was still bothering me with questions, so I waved at him to shut it while holding the phone tighter. "I'll explain everything when we meet. Okay?"

"Fine."

After explaining where we were to Soren, I hung up and pocketed my phone. It would probably take him around thirty minutes to get here. Hopefully, I'd given him good enough directions to track us.

"Soren will be here soon. Try not to get us killed until he does, and when he arrives, please don't do anything embarrassing," I told Kai.

"Who's Soren?" Spitting Soren's name, he couldn't have sounded more dismissive even if he tried.

"My boyfriend." Ready to climb back into my truck since it was freezing, Kai stopped me by grabbing my arm and pulling me back.

"Your boyfriend? You have a boyfriend now?" He pinned me against the car, his hands on my shoulders.

"Yeah, I do."

"Since when?"

He stood so close to me that our noses nearly touched.

"Since a while ago. If you weren't so caught up in drugs, maybe you wouldn't have missed it."

His brows pulled into a deep frown.

"In fact, if you weren't wasting your life on that crap, you wouldn't have missed many things, like the birth of your son."

His jaw clenched, and he pushed me hard before letting go and walking away. "I never wanted that thing to be born in the first place."

That was it for me. If until now, I held some sort of understanding or empathy, now it was all gone.

"That thing ?" I took a step toward him. "That thing is a child. A child you helped to create, you fucking asshole," I shouted, unable to bear listening to him speak that way. "You need to pull your head out of your fucking ass, Kai, because you're fucking pathetic."

"Shut up."

"Why? Can't handle the truth?" I tilted my head at him, my lips curling with spite and rage. "You're pathetic. That's what you are. Blaming everyone and anyone for your crappy life. Fuck." A broken laugh escaped me. "You're even blaming a newborn baby for your shitty choices. Do you realize how sad that is?" My words were mean and hard to bear, but they were true nonetheless. And Kai needed to get a cold, hard slap from reality.

"Like you're the one to lecture me. You disgusting homo . Who the fuck you think you are?"

I stopped where I stood and smiled at him. "Yeah, I love men, and there's nothing wrong with that. You can throw snarls at me all you want, Kai. I honestly don't care. What I do care about is seeing you ruining your life because you can't accept the fact that you, too, might be one. A homo ." Kai had started going down this fatal path because he couldn't accept that part of him. My confession, which he forced out of me, might be the reason he'd started realizing he liked men, too, but everything that had happened ever since was his fault alone.

"Listen to you," he hissed, stretching his neck. He looked so thin and unwell, even more so with the moonlight hitting his pale face. "Suddenly, you're so sure of yourself. Is that what getting a dick does to you? Is it that good? That life-changing?"

Understanding that speaking to him was of no use, I turned around and went back to sit in the truck until Soren arrived. I had no intention of getting into more fights with him.

Now seated inside the car, I could still hear Kai speaking to himself. His mumbling went on for a while until he shut up, and I worried that he might have left, but peeking through the mirror, I saw he was still there, sitting on the same rock as before.

Not long after, the lights of a car flashed in my mirrors, and I stepped out just in time for Soren's Range Rover to park behind my truck. The door opened, and Soren walked out dressed in the same clothes he'd worn to work.

"Dear heavens, are you okay?" he asked as he reached me, his hands moving over my arms to ensure I was unharmed.

The scent of his cologne and the comfort in his touch was already enough to make me feel better, and I breathed him in, savoring the familiar scent.

"I am. Thank you for coming."

A whistle made us both look aside at Kai, who was walking next to Soren's Range Rover while pointing at it with his thumb. "That's a nice ride. Didn't tell me your boyfriend was loaded, Ashy ."

Soren's brows frowned, and he fixed his glasses before pulling me a bit closer.

"And you are?" he asked, his voice cold.

"I'm the best friend." Stopping before us, Kai brushed his dirty palm over his shirt before offering it to Soren to shake. Only it wasn't a friendly gesture but one full of venom. "Didn't Ashy tell you about me?" He tilted his head and dropped his hand while Soren continued to stand tall.

Removing his attention from Kai, Soren nudged me toward the car. "We should hurry up. It's already too late."

"Why the rush?" Kai slapped Soren's shoulder with the back of his palm. "We're just getting to know each other." He grinned. "I want to know everything about the man who loves shoving his dick inside my best friend."

Soren didn't answer him but instead looked at Kai with pure disdain.

"By the way, aren't you too old for him? You like fucking high school kids or somethin'?"

"Kai!" I yelled, but Soren stopped me with a hand on my arm.

He then took off his coat and put it over my shoulders. "Ashton, it's cold outside. Would you get inside the car, please?"

"But—"

"Don't worry." He smiled at me with such kindness, and I wondered where he'd gotten this insane amount of patience from.

"But what about my truck?" I then asked.

"Don't worry about it." He rubbed my arms with his hands. "Just wait inside."

Not wanting to argue, I left Soren's side and was about to get inside his car when Kai sneered.

"Who knew you were such an obedient pup?"

Angry, I held open the car's door. "He's wasted on drugs, Soren, so it's better to ignore him."

"Don't worry, beautiful. Just wait inside."

"Beautiful?" Kai huffed, rolling his eyes.

I didn't hear the rest of what Kai said because I'd already closed the door, but from the look of it, their exchange of words wasn't pleasant. Soren remained as calm as always while Kai kept moving around, his face twisting with rage and spite whenever he spoke. The situation made me uncomfortable, especially when I knew they were talking about me. Every now and then, Kai peeked at me from behind Soren, and the look in his eyes… If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was jealous. But why would he be? He had his chance with me and made it clear nothing would ever happen.

He didn't want me . Not the other way around.

A few minutes later, Soren got inside the Range Rover. "I contacted the towing company before coming here. They'll be here in about an hour. They have all the details, so we don't need to wait," he said after closing the door.

"That's great, but—" I looked outside where Kai was still standing. "—what about Kai?"

"What about him?"

My brows drew close. "Aren't we taking him to the hospital?"

Soren sighed. "He said he'd rather spend the night on the hills than get inside my car. So can we please go now? It's late, and I'm tired."

I knew I was putting Soren in an awkward position. He had no reason to care for Kai, even less so after the way Kai had spoken to him. This was also not his mess to clean up. The fact he'd come here to pick me up was more than enough, so asking him to help me with Kai was ungrateful. Yet, there was no way I'd leave Kai behind.

I took Soren's hand in mine and brought it to my chest. "Please let me try to talk to him one last time. I can't leave him alone."

Soren's jaw clenched, and he poked the inner side of his cheek with his tongue while his eyes studied me from behind his glasses. He seemed angry, and it scared me, but I had to get over it.

After a few more seconds passed, he nodded.

"Fine."

"Thank you." I leaned over the gear stick and kissed Soren's cheek. Cupping my jaw, he turned my face, took off his glasses, then pulled me until our lips bashed together in a passionate kiss. But he didn't stop there, and after exploring my mouth with hunger, he moved his lips to my neck and sucked on my skin until a soft moan escaped me. Heat spread through my body, and with Soren still sucking on my neck, I looked aside, only to find Kai was staring at us. The hurt in his eyes was enough to bring me back to the present, and I put my hand on Soren's chest. As I traced my fingers over his strong pecs, our eyes met, and I gave him a quick nod before leaving the warm car and stepping out into the cold night.

"Can you get inside the car?"

"No."

"Please, Kai."

"Why should I? So you can brag about your new relationship?" His eyes darted to my lips.

"O-Of course not." I hesitated when he stepped closer.

"So why should I? Tell me one good reason, and I'll do it."

I peeked over my shoulder to find Soren looking at us. With his glasses back on, he looked at me through sharp, cold eyes that pinned me with guilt. Feeling like I was doing something wrong made my heart ache, and I looked down at the ground, my eyes focusing on my shoes before I answered Kai. "Because I promised Zoe I'd bring you to the hospital."

He snorted. "Like I give a shit."

"Kai."

"Give me a reason to get inside the car."

Without having another choice, I raised my stare to meet him. "Because I care for you, Kai. I always have and always will, and I can't leave you alone, fearing something might happen to you."

Reaching forward, he grabbed my waist and yanked me close. Nerves struck me, and I quickly put my arm between us to keep some safe distance for my growing panic. As Kai slid one hand to my lower back, Soren honked, and it was enough for Kai to remove his hands from me.

"Fine, I'll get inside the car," he said with a devilish smirk I didn't appreciate, but at least he agreed to come with us.

The tension inside the car was so thick it suffocated me, and I did my best not to glance Soren's way as I buckled up.

"Where to?" Soren asked, his voice colder than ever.

"Malibu."

"What?" Kai jumped forward. "You said we're going to the hospital to see Zoe."

"You're going to sleep at Aiden's tonight, and first thing tomorrow morning, he'll take you to a rehab facility," I said while typing a message to Aiden. Luckily, my uncle was still awake and texted back right away.

"No fucking way." Kai attempted to get out, but Soren had locked the doors. "Open the fucking door."

"If you don't agree to it, I'll contact your parents. You know as well as I do which way is better."

Kai's face twisted with anger as he glared at me from the back seat.

"It's for your own good, Kai," I said, but he didn't reply and instead leaned back with his arms crossed over his chest. It was enough of an agreement, and without lingering a second longer, Soren began to drive. To say the ride to my uncle's house was awkward would be an understatement. Trapped between two men who meant the world to me, I realized having them both would never be possible and that, eventually, I'd have to choose between the two—my endless summer or my forever winter.

When we arrived at Aiden's, he was already waiting for us outside. Seeing the concern in his sad eyes made me feel guilty, and I sighed before unbuckling myself.

"It'll only take a few minutes," I told Soren, then turned around to meet Kai's stare. In silent agreement, we both stepped out while Soren stayed in his car.

"Go ahead to the guest room, Champ," Aiden said, squeezing Kai's shoulder.

Nodding, Kai moved to climb up the wooden stairs leading into the house, then got in with Aiden's dog, Sebastian, following him.

"You're just going to let him sleep?" I asked my uncle, whose eyes were pinned on the door Kai just disappeared into.

"Talking now won't do any good." He rubbed the back of his neck and moved to look at me. "We'll have more than enough time for it tomorrow morning."

"I see," I said quietly as Aiden's eyes darted to Soren's Range Rover.

"Are you coming in, too?" I knew he'd ask that, and a part of me already knew that once we arrived here, I wouldn't be able to leave Kai alone.

"He'll need you, Chief," Aiden added as if I didn't already know it. "We'll drive him to the rehab center first thing in the morning, but it won't be easy."

"I know."

Putting his hand on my shoulder, Aiden squeezed it. "I'll see you inside." He then turned and walked into the house.

I took a deep breath and then shoved my hands into my pockets. Soren wouldn't take this well, but I couldn't not be there for Kai. He needed help, and despite what went on between us, I had to be there for him.

Returning to the car, I stopped in front of Soren's window. Once he opened it, I leaned over it.

"Why do I have a feeling you're not coming back with me?" he asked before I could even utter a word.

Knowing I'd just hurt him, I bit my lip and nodded. The way his jaw tensed while he looked straight ahead was like a punch to the gut. I hated disappointing him so much that it made me sick.

"I'm sorry."

"But you're not," he tsked, then checked the time on his watch. "This was already a long night, and I need to be up soon." He turned the engine back on. Understanding the message, I took a step back. "We'll talk tomorrow" was the last thing he said before he drove off and left me standing.

Alone.

When he didn't call or answer any of my calls the next day, I understood how lonely love can make you feel. And even though helping Kai was the right thing to do, it sure as hell didn't feel like it. The cold shoulder Soren gave me the following week only made that more vivid, and I questioned my choice.