Chapter 10

Ash

B ack in my truck, I had no idea what to do. So many thoughts ran through my head like a storm, leaving me in an utter mess.

Zoe was pregnant.

Zoe was pregnant, meaning Kai would be a dad before we'd even graduate high school, and from the look of it, he was aiming to ruin his life long before that happened. And among all that mess, where was I? Was it really fair of him to blame me for that? Maybe it was. After all, if I had kept my secret, none of this would have ever happened.

I brushed my fingers over the place Kai had punched me, deep down believing I deserved it. On top of it all, my wrist was killing me. It didn't seem broken, but I was pretty sure I sprained it when I fell. Taking a deep breath, I checked myself in the rearview mirror. I looked like shit and felt even worse, and I wasn't at all prepared to face Mom or Aiden. They'd ask questions, and knowing me, I'd probably tell them everything, which I didn't want to do. What Kai did to me tonight was wrong, and I knew Mom and Aiden would see this as an assault, while I… it was complicated. Kai shouldn't have used me the way he did, and I shouldn't have allowed myself to be used, but I did, and the last thing I wanted was for someone to interpret what happened between us the wrong way. Because even if I felt dirty as fuck, with Kai's dried cum still coating my thighs, I'd agreed to it. While he was drunk and probably high on some crap, I was sober and still chose to be used.

I had no idea what made me pick up my phone next and dial Soren's number, but he'd already answered before I could stop to reconsider it.

"Ashton." His voice, soft as always, was like a medicine to my aching heart.

Closing my eyes, I breathed in and enjoyed this slight comfort.

"Ashton, are you there?" he asked again since I hadn't spoken yet.

"Yes, I'm here, sorry…"

"Is everything okay? You sound off."

Nothing's okay—absolutely nothing.

"Sorry I called," I muttered while fisting the sleeve of my hoodie. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

The line went quiet for a few seconds until Soren spoke again.

"Where are you?"

"In my car."

"Did you have anything to drink?"

I shook my head.

"Ashton?"

"No… No, I didn't."

"Are you capable of driving? Or do you want me to come and pick you up?"

He's so damn considerate.

"Yes."

"Yes, what? You didn't answer my question."

I'm so pathetic.

"Yes, I can drive."

"Good." He let out a breath of relief. "I'll text you my address, and you come over here, okay?"

I hoped he would say that, and now that he had, I felt guilty. Was it okay for me to go over there and seek his comfort, considering what I'd done with Kai? Was it okay for Soren to hold me while I was still wearing Kai's traces?

"Ashton." Soren's firm voice snapped me back to focus. "I'm waiting for you."

Closing my eyes, I nodded to myself.

It's about time I be selfish, too.

"I'm coming."

After driving all the way to West Hollywood, I arrived at Soren's house. It wasn't exactly a building but more of a combination of luxury condos built close to one another with a private park in between, making the whole residence look like a fancy resort.

Reaching Soren's door, I rang the bell, then stepped back and shoved my hands into my jeans pockets. I had no fucking idea what I was doing here, looking this dirty and cheap. Soren would probably have one look at me before realizing I was nothing but a lame-ass kid, then kick me out.

"What on earth happened to you?" Soren hissed as he opened the door, his brows pulled close and his jaw tensed.

His obvious concern was the confirmation I needed that I was right to come here.

"It's nothing." I tried to hide my face by rubbing my cheek. While doing so, he got a glimpse at the sleeve of my hoodie, which was stained with dry blood.

"My God," he gasped, reaching for me, and observed me closely.

"I'm okay," I mumbled, but Soren didn't seem happy as his stare hardened.

"Clearly, you're not." Grabbing my shoulder, he pulled me in and closed the door behind us.

The house was cold, like the air-conditioning worked too much. Maybe that explained Soren's cold skin. Somehow, it made him look a bit lonely, but it was a silly thought that I quickly pushed aside as I looked around the house. It was as impressive as I'd imagined, but I had no time to admire it because Soren took my hand and tugged me to his bathroom.

"Sit here," he said, pointing at the counter. Doing as he ordered, I jumped until my ass hit the cold marble and waited patiently for Soren to finish picking up things out of the cabinet. While waiting, I eyed the spacious bathroom. What stood out to me the most was how neat and organized it was. Everything was stocked and organized by color and size, from the towels to the soap bottles in the shower. In fact, it was almost like this room was just for show and had never been used before. I also figured he liked gray scale because everything was in those colors.

Soren came to stand between my spread thighs. Placing a small kit beside me, he pulled out some gauze, pads, and sanitizer and began cleaning my split lip and dry blood.

The sanitizer burned, and I hissed with the ache, causing Soren to chuckle.

"Hey now, don't be a baby."

"It stings." I pouted and closed my eyes, allowing him to continue.

Once done, he tossed the used gauze into a small garbage bin, then pulled a soft-looking towel out of the closet.

"I'll put ointment on your wounds after you shower," he said, and I nodded.

Wanting to get off the counter, I placed my hands on the surface and was about to jump down when the weight I applied to my wrist pained me. I nearly forgot about that . Noticing my reaction, Soren quickly lifted my arm and pulled down my sleeve to expose my bruised wrist.

"What happened?"

"It looks worse than it actually feels."

"That isn't what I asked, Ashton. Tell me how you got hurt?"

I looked aside, and he sighed deeply.

"Was it a family member? Do we need to involve the police?"

My eyes quickly shot to his. "What? No!" I almost squealed. "It was nothing like that, I swear. My mom or uncle would never hurt me."

While my answer did soften Soren's expression, he still seemed far from satisfied with the tension pulled between his narrowed brows.

"Who did this to you?" His voice took on a deeper tone than before.

"It was my best friend," I said after understanding I had to speak. "I ruined his life."

Cupping my face, Soren caressed my skin with his thumb. "It's hard for me to believe you're capable of ruining one's life, Ashton." He angled my face so I'd meet his eyes and then brushed my hair back. "But how about we talk more after you take a nice, warm shower?"

I nodded.

"Good boy," he said with a half smile before kissing my forehead.

I had no idea what overtook me, but just then, my heart raced faster as my chest tightened up with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Weirded out by my reaction, I brought my thumb to my lips and bit the tip of my nail, when Soren covered my hand with his.

"Don't do that. It's such a waste," he tsked. "Now, get into the shower, and I'll bring you some clothes to wear."

Once Soren left the bathroom, I began taking off my clothes. Reaching my jeans, I stopped and took a deep breath before sliding them down my legs, trying to ignore the traces Kai had left on my skin. With a deep breath, I kicked them aside and walked into the shower. The hot water hitting my body made me physically relax, so I closed my eyes and allowed the steam to wash away this evening.

"Done already?" Soren asked once I showed up in the living room, wearing the clothes he left lying on the counter for me. They were brand-new and too big for my size but by far the most comfy cotton I'd ever worn.

Since the kitchen and living room were connected, Soren stepped from behind the large island placed in the middle of the space, then came to me. "The food I ordered still hasn't arrived yet, but in the meanwhile, how about we do something with those bruises?"

"You ordered food?" I asked while he grabbed my hand and led me toward the couch.

"I'm not much of a cook." He waited for me to sit down first and, after I did, crouched before me. "Besides, I think cooking at home is a waste of time when you can order in."

Kai often cooked for me, and when he didn't, my first pick would be some sort of junk food.

"So, how come you're so fit?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He raised one questioning eyebrow my way.

My cheeks heated up, and I rubbed the back of my neck. "I mean, junk food is all greasy and unhealthy. Eating it every day probably isn't the best thing, but you look very fit."

Soren's lips pulled up, deep lines forming on each side of his tempting smile.

He's so handsome.

"You're adorable." He shook his head while putting a bit of ointment on his fingers, then brought them to the corner of my mouth. "I have a private chef that supplies me meals based on my diet. So no junk food whatsoever."

"You're on a diet?"

"Not one that's aiming to lose weight, but to maintain my physique as it is."

"Oh." That sounded fancy. "I just eat whatever I want."

"And yet, you're still sexy as sin."

Heat crept to my cheek, and I tried to contain my growing excitement. My whole body was already burning up from being this close to him.

After applying the medicine carefully to my wound, he caressed the pads of his fingers over my lips. The taste of the ointment was bitter, but his touch turned it sweet, and I had to stop myself from sucking on his fingers like the starved animal he turned me into.

"You have the most beautiful lips." He caressed them carefully, his eyes locked on my mouth. "The shape and color…Whoever gave you those bruises deserves life without parole."

Once again, my heart began racing, and my body ached underneath the heat of his words and touch. Soren was so much, perhaps too much, to handle. But at the same time, I only wished for more.

More of his attention.

More of his care.

More of his affection.

His proximity turned me eager and selfish because nothing else mattered. All I wanted was for him to like me so he'd allow me to stay close because, with him, my life felt like a fairy tale.

After he was done with the lotion, Soren bandaged my wrist. Holding my arm, he took his time to wrap the bandage until it was tight and secured. Once finished, he packed all the supplies back into the first aid kit, and I noticed even more how organized he was. Everything had a place in his house, absolutely everything.

What about me? What's my place?

Nerves struck me as the fear of being rejected by him simmered into my mind. I didn't want him to suddenly return to his senses and realize he was so out of my league, or worse, to discover my lie.

"I told you not to do this," Soren said as he sat beside me on the couch, taking my hand in his and preventing me from biting the tip of my nail. "Come here." Without a hint of hesitation, he moved me to sit on his lap, my legs straddling each of his sides, while wrapping his arms around me.

Sitting on his lap felt weird because I wasn't a small guy, and he was only so much bigger than me, but at the same time, I enjoyed it.

"Now, then." He tilted his head, his silver eyes gleaming under the dim light of the living room. "Tell me, what happened between you and your friend."

Trying to explain to Soren, the perfect man I had only just started dating, about my long and unrequited love for my best friend seemed like an awkward conversation to have. A conversation I had no clue how to start, and yet, after taking a deep breath, I managed to find my words.

"Kai—that's my best friend's name… We've known each other for years, and he's practically my whole world." I took a deep breath, then let it out. "At least, he was until he found out I was gay and that I…"

"Loved him?" Soren offered.

Shocked, I looked at him. "H-How did you know?"

He chuckled. "Falling for the straight best friend? It's a tale as old as time."

Now embarrassed, because apparently I was a pathetic stereotype of a gay man, I tried to move off his lap, but he didn't allow it.

"I'm sorry, it came off wrong." His hand held on to my hips harder. "What I meant to say was that your love for him is completely normal. Nothing to be ashamed of."

Something occurred to me then, and I placed my hands on his wide shoulders, my eyes studying his flawless face. "Did it happen to you, too?"

He shook his head. "No."

I huffed. "Of course it didn't. You're gorgeous. Who wouldn't fall for you?"

Flashing me a grin, one that showed his perfect white teeth, he pulled me closer and then moved his hand to the small of my back. I tensed at the touch and tried to resist leaning even deeper into him.

"I can say the same thing about you, Ashton. But love doesn't work that way. We can't choose who we fall for." While speaking, his fingers slowly ran down my back.

My dick took notice, hardening in the slacks Soren had lent me. Desperate to distract myself from my growing reaction, I went on. "Anyway, he doesn't feel the same. Hence the punch to the face." I laughed awkwardly, trying to lighten the thick mood. Sitting in Soren's lap, with his cologne surrounding me while having his hands softly touching my skin, made me all fuzzy, and my horny ass wished we were naked.

Those were dangerous thoughts because I didn't want him to assume that all I cared about was sex or that I was being too vulgar. Maybe those were my first intentions, but by now, I'd managed to forget all about them and began wishing for more. But I didn't want to make a complete fool out of myself. The kiss we shared in the stables was already embarrassing enough with how eager and needy I'd been.

"Your friend is an idiot," Soren said, cutting into my intrusive thoughts.

"H-He isn't an idiot," I muttered, sounding defensive.

"I beg to differ."

I pulled back a bit while sliding my hands from his shoulders to his chest. "You don't understand. Kai's parents are extremely homophobic."

"So they're idiots, too."

The doorbell rang before I could reply, and we both turned to look at the door before I rolled off Soren so he could get it.

After tipping the delivery guy, he closed the door, went to the kitchen island, and began pulling out our food. For a couple of minutes, I remained seated as I watched him set the table for us with precision and care, so much that he went through the trouble of placing two candles and lighting them to set up the mood.

"How can you say he's an idiot when you don't even know him?" I asked after joining Soren in the kitchen.

"Any person who's too close-minded to realize sexuality is anything else other than a given fact is a blunt idiot." He poured himself a glass of red wine before moving the chair for me to sit. "Come here," he said, waiting until I sat down, then did the same.

Still wanting him to change his perception about Kai, I continued to push. "It's not just that. He's struggling with a lot of things right now." As I tried defending Kai, Soren began loading my plate with food—grilled fish, green veggies, and roasted potatoes that smelled delicious.

"Come on, eat up before it gets cold." He placed a napkin over my lap.

Eager to get his answer, I took a bite and then asked, "Did you listen to me?"

Swirling the wine in his glass, he took a sip, then hummed with pleasure before nodding. "I did. You said he's struggling with a lot of stuff. But that still doesn't contradict him being an idiot."

I groaned because who knew he was so resilient?

"He got his girlfriend pregnant, and he's scared, okay? It's not all about me."

Soren huffed. "That only proves my point."

Placing down my fork, I frowned at him, and apparently, he found it amusing because he was smirking.

"Don't give me that look," he said, resting his hand on my thigh and squeezing it. "You'll find out soon enough that I'm very blunt with my opinions. I see no point in hiding them. If your longtime friend punched you for your sexuality while also engaging in unprotected sex, then yeah, I think he's a complete idiot who you are better off without."

I'm better off without Kai in my life?

It wasn't because Soren didn't make sense that I found it hard to listen but because he made perfect sense. Lately, each time I met Kai, all he did was hurt me, so I was , in fact, better off without him. But admitting it was hard.

"How could I suddenly live without him?" I asked, my eyes focused on Soren's hand that still squeezed my thigh.

He shrugged. "People come and go, Ashton. That's life."

As true as that might be, it was still hard to digest.

"W-What about you?" I found the courage to ask.

His lips curved up a second before he used his finger to angle my face up, then leaned close and kissed me. It was a short, sweet kiss, but I savored every second of it.

Stroking my cheek with the back of his finger, he smiled. "Let's eat, and then let's watch a movie. Okay?"

A lump of emotions formed in my throat. Sadness and hurt over Kai but also excitement and hope for Soren. By taking care of me, Soren managed to chase the bad away so that I felt safe and secure. He had all the answers to my problems, and that was exhilarating. With him, I had no reason to worry, and I wished for this thing between us to grow. But then something occurred to me. Soren and I could never be anything because this was all based on a lie.

My lie.

The second Soren learned I lied about my age, he'd be out of my life for good. Knowing that scared me to my core, so I swallowed back my guilt and nodded.

"As long as you pick the movie. I hate choosing," I said.