25. Orange Juice

ORANGE JUICE

My hair shiftsand I swat at whatever dared to wake me up. I desperately need more sleep.

"Go away," I grumble.

"I'm going fishing. I'll see you later," Lincoln says.

"Bye," I groan again, turning on my side and wrapping myself tighter into the blanket. He kisses the side of my head before leaving with his brothers and our fathers for a day out on the ocean.

I try to go back to sleep, but this hard mattress and everything that happened last night is weighing on my mind.

I truly completely agreed to give me and Lincoln a shot.

That doesn't mean I want anyone else in the family to know, honestly, I don't ever want to cross that bridge. But… I have to see where this goes.

I need to know for sure that this isn't about forbidden feelings or wanting what you can't have. What if my person has been in front of me my whole life and I'm just now seeing it? It would be the biggest regret of my life if I didn't at least give it a shot—a real shot.

No more tension so thick I want to choke on it and die. It will still be our dirty little secret, but we're really going to try this. We're going to be a real couple within the privacy of our own homes, but what exactly does that mean?

All I know is I can't stop thinking about that kiss, or about how much Lincoln wants me. I smile like a fucking idiot into my pillow as there's a knock on my door and my mom comes in.

"Hey, sweetie. Are you ready to get up and go shopping?"

I grumble, even though I'm awake, I don't actually want to be.

My mom and aunt love shopping, and I suppose I do too, but all I want to do is get off this island and go back home with Lincoln and figure this all out. What's the next step? What does dating each other but not telling our family or friends look like? Well, at least the ones who don't already know.

My cheeks heat when I think about Gavin walking in on us last night. But Gavin isn't like the rest of our family, he's forward thinking and easygoing, my mother on the other hand is not.

She proves her point as she taps impatiently on the door frame.

"Jessa and Maggie are already up," she says, coming to sit on my bed and rub my back like she always did when I was a kid.

"Why are we going so early?"

"We don't want to waste any time we have together as a family," she says sweetly.

"We see each other all the time."

She makes a frustrated noise and grabs my blanket, snatching it off of me.

"I'm pretty sure Maggie is in the dining room telling Jessa she wants her to marry Aiden. You can't leave your friend out there with that fate," she says, and I groan.

"Fine," I reply, getting out of bed and following my mother into the dining room, where my aunt Maggie and Jessa are waiting for us.

Jessa looks relieved, yet skeptical of me as I sit down.

"How'd you sleep?" Jessa asks, and I pin her with a look.

"We need to replace that bed," I reply, adding some fruit and pancakes to my plate.

"Bed isn't big enough?" Jessa says when I'm bringing a strawberry up to my mouth.

"Part of it, I am a grown woman," I reply and I give her a tight smile that I hope indicates I don't find her inside joke funny.

"As soon as we're done remodeling the other room, we'll fix that one. I think we could fit a queen in there," my aunt Maggie says.

"The house is really lovely," Jessa says.

"I'm just so sorry you and Aiden have to share a room with the twins," Maggie says.

"Probably smelled like a dispensary in there," I mumble and my mom knocks my foot under the table.

"Yes, well. My youngest boys seem to have a little bit of Peter Pan syndrome."

"A little bit?" I grumble and my mom hits me harder under the table. "Ouch," I groan and she smiles at me.

"They'll figure it out," Maggie says, sipping her coffee.

I want to whisper doubt it, but I really don't feel like getting kicked under the table again. Gavin and Benjamin live life on their own terms. They don't really give a shit what other people think and I don't see them settling down anytime soon.

"Once you finish eating, go freshen up and we'll head out," my mother says.

Jessa smiles at me across the table, and I smile back. My new best friend is more of a menace than I realized.

My momand aunt Maggie are spending money like it's their job, while Jessa and I are trying on different sandals.

"So, what happened last night?" she asks.

I look over at where my mother and aunt are at the store across the street looking at jewelry.

"I think we're dating," I say, looking back at her, and sliding the sandal that's just a tad too small off my foot.

"Shut the fuck up. But what does that even mean?"

"I don't know. We didn't get to talk about it. Gavin kind of saw us last night."

Jessa's jaw drops, and she blinks at me.

"He saw you fucking?"

"Ew, no. Just kissing. And then Lincoln kicked Gavin out of our room and the twins called Lincoln downstairs. I fell asleep before Lincoln came back for the night and they left early for fishing."

"What did Gavin say?" she asks, riveted by my drama.

"He was shockingly okay with it."

"Does that mean you're going to tell everyone else? On this trip?" she asks, her eyes widening.

"Hell no. I need to make sure that this isn't just us wanting what we can't have, you know? I don't want to blow the family up for no reason. So, we'll continue being a secret, but no more holding back."

"Your family seems understanding," she says with a small smile.

"Forward thinking and realizing your kids who grew up together are fucking are two different things."

She snorts a laugh and grabs a new pair of sandals to try on.

"You know, he came to Aiden's a few nights ago, was real mopey."

"He's so dramatic," I say with an eye roll.

"So are you," Jessa says, and I gasp in shock.

"I'm not dramatic."

She gives me a look like I'm being unreasonable and I wave her off. "If you could keep this between us still, I'd appreciate it. I need to hunt down Gavin later."

"Of course," she says with a tight nod.

I stare at her a little longer and she lets out a breath.

"Okay, fine. I haven't told Aiden anything. I'll keep your secret."

"That's right, chicks before dicks."

"I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like you, Penny."

I grin. "And you never will. You can have other friends, but you can't like them more than you like me, okay?"

She shakes her head at me as we put the shoes back and head over to the jewelry and crystal store my mother and aunt are shopping at.

"Oh my God, Penny, come look at this," my mom says, and I head over to my mother while Maggie and Jessa talk at the register.

"What is it?" I ask, and she points to the case.

"You've got to get it," she says, pointing down at the necklace.

I can't help the laugh that belts out of me, not that my mother would get it. It's a silver chain, with a rounded backing with a fucking penny in front of it with the word lucky stamped over Abraham Lincoln's face.

The saleswoman comes over and takes the necklace out of the display case.

"I'm getting it for you. I don't care what you say," my mom says, instructing the woman to add it to her order.

"Thanks, Mom."

"Maybe I should get one too," she says, and I shake my head. "You're right, I already have my lucky Penny," she says, squeezing my shoulders.

"You know, I think you're turning into a bigger sap the older I get."

"One day you'll have a daughter, if you're lucky one as amazing as mine, and you'll understand," she says, squeezing my arm.

It's weird. I'd never pictured my future children before, but now I am, with messy brown hair and blue-green eyes. Lincoln Carlson has single handedly changed my brain chemistry and I'm trying to not let anything damper that.

I glance over at my smiling mother and my heart sinks a bit when I think about her reaction. I shake it from my thoughts, pushing that conversation to the side, if it ever even happens.

I put the necklace on during the car ride home, Jessa seems a little out of it and I wonder if Maggie said something to offend her. I love my aunt Maggie, but the woman can be intrusive as hell.

When we get back to the beach house, Jessa says she's taking a walk on the beach and I go to follow her, but she clearly needs a moment to clear her head, so I stay back at the house, waiting for the guys to get back from fishing.

My dadand Uncle Jeff are grilling up the fish they caught today while my mom and aunt nap.

Aiden and Jessa are MIA, and the twins are probably up to no good somewhere around here.

I'm prepping some sliced potatoes and vegetables in the kitchen as Lincoln walks toward the fridge, looking around, before opening the fridge and glancing around.

I can't help but glance over at him as I continue food prepping. His skin has some redness from being out under the sun today, but other than that he looks absolutely perfect. It's truly unfair how ridiculously good looking he is, and it hits that he's completely mine. I smile to myself as I attempt to slice and ogle him at the same time.

He grabs the orange juice from the fridge before grabbing a glass from the cabinet. He looks around one last time before placing a chaste kiss against my lips, before resting his hip against the counter.

"How was your day?"

"Fine, it would have been better if you came. How was shopping?" he asks.

He turns, pouring the juice into the simple glass with palm trees imprinted all over it.

"I got something today you might like," I say with a smile, putting down the knife from chopping the potatoes into thin slices.

"What's that?" he asks with a devastating smile.

He tilts his head at me and I can tell that if we weren't on this trip with family around we would be doing a hell of a lot more than chatting in the kitchen.

His demeanor from when this vacation started to now are like opposites and I can't deny liking that it's because of me. Lincoln makes me feel like the most important person in the world and I wonder how I can do the same when we can't be ourselves in the presence of our family.

I grab the charm on the necklace between my fingers and show him. He leans in close, the juice in one hand as he gently touches the necklace, his thumb grazing over the words.

He laughs and tenderly puts it back against my collarbone.

"That's cute, Pen."

"I thought so," I reply. He's so close to me that all I'd have to do is lean forward ever so slightly to steal another kiss, but he pulls back ever so slightly.

He takes a sip of the orange juice, a rivulet traveling down the side of his mouth, which he cleans up with his thumb. I track the motion and lick my lips as he pulls his thumb away, sickly I wish he'd push the juice-covered thumb between my lips just like he did that night at Key Club.

"You thirsty, baby?" he asks.

I know he means it in more ways than one; I nod my head for both cases. I'm both parched and in desperate need of him. He smiles, fuck I missed his smile. I can't even be upset about him being a cocky bastard, because he always delivers, his cockiness is completely deserved.

"Open your mouth," he commands.

I don't even question him as I part my lips. He presses his thumb against my chin as he brings the cool glass to his lips, putting the juice in his mouth.

It's nearly in slow motion the way he tilts the glass back, holding the liquid in his mouth, before putting the glass on the counter, it clinks against the countertop and shivers erupt over my skin.

He holds the back of my head with one hand, keeping his thumb on my chin. His lips meet mine as he transfers the sweet citrus into my mouth.

The citrus flavor splashes against my tongue as I swallow.

Some of it leaks out of the corner of my lips as I press a kiss against his lips, that taste like oranges and sin. His tongue lashes out, licking up the sweetness off my skin and I can't repress the moan I was holding in.

His hand tightens in my hair as he steps closer to me, his tongue sliding down the side of my throat, before his teeth graze my pulse point.

"I need you," he rasps out.

The hand that was on my chin slides down my body and grips my waist pulling me closer.

My hands are sliding up his shirt, feeling the hard expanse of his body and sliding further up against his chest hair.

"I need you too," I whisper back and I mean it with every fiber of my being.

With the taste of him on my tongue I'm feeling greedy and all I want is more. Lincoln dips his fingers in the orange juice and drags the sticky drink along my throat and down the valley of my breasts in the loose shirt I'm wearing.

My flesh breaks out in eagerness and desire as his tongue starts between my breasts and he licks it up all the way behind my ear.

"I want to lick every inch of you," he whispers against the shell of my ear. "So fucking sweet, baby."

I sigh, wetness pooling in my panties over his words and touch. He pulls back and leans down to kiss me again. My breath hitches as I await the soft press of his lips and another hit of his tangy tongue, as the backdoor begins to slide open.

We pull apart immediately, Lincoln taking a step back as my heart races in my chest and I grab the knife.

I'm so frantic that when I attempt to cut the next potato, I slice the tip of my finger.

"Fuck," I hiss.

"What's wrong?" I hear my dad's voice behind us.

He's approaching, the only feature on his face is concern for my finger. He doesn't look pissed or like he saw me and Lincoln together, so I swallow back some of that fear.

Lincoln grabs a paper towel and holds it against my cut. When I look at his face, all I can see is hidden sadness, that he hates being a secret. I swallow thickly and wince at my finger.

"You need to be more careful, Penny," Lincoln says, a small smirk on his face.

I somehow want to kiss it and slap it off his face at the same time.

"I'll go get the first aid kit," my dad says with a nod before wandering off.

"No more messing around while we're here," I tell him.

"You started it."

My mouth parts, and he swallows, leaning down and kissing my bottom lip.

"I just said?—"

"I know what you said," he replies, kissing my cheek and applying pressure as my dad comes back with the kit.

Lincoln pulls back the towel and my dad looks at the cut.

"Doesn't look like you'll need stitches," my dad says, using disinfectant and putting a bandage on it. "Now what the hell did I come in here for?" he questions and looks around the kitchen. "Ah, that's right," he says, grabbing some lemons out of the fridge. "Be more careful, yeah?" My dad gives me a cautionary glance as he leaves the kitchen.

I'll need to be more careful indeed.

"See you for dinner," Lincoln says, grabbing his glass of juice and hums after he swallows. "Delicious."

Someone please make this torturous vacation hurry the hell up.