Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

Impasse

"Why Jenga?" I asked. "I don't even have Jenga."

Annie and Brian had gone to sit on the living room sofa.

"Oh, I thought I'd seen the box in the living room…"

"That has LEGO in it," I said.

"Because that makes sense," Aiden smiled. "What have you got?"

I looked into the living room. "Uh. Twister?"

His eyes went wide. "Wait! That's perfect!"

"No, come on. We are not playing Twister with Lucy's grandparents! For God's sake, Brian just had a hip replacement."

"Huh. So they want to parent an energetic twelve-year-old, but can't even play fun games with her?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure I could get through a game of Twister at this point. Have you even played it?"

This discussion was serving to amuse me, at the very least. And picturing Brian and Annie trying to play Twister with Lucy was highly entertaining.

"Yes, I have. And I can still play it. And I foresee an enthusiastic game of naked Twister with you at some point."

I raised my eyes, and Aiden grinned.

"Please don't mention that to Annie."

"Oh, I promise I will," he joked. At least, I hoped he was joking.

We went into the living room and sat down together across from Annie and Brian.

"How's the new hip?" I asked Brian.

"He's fine," Annie said. "Fit as a fiddle."

"I've got most of my mobility back," Brian said. "And it throbs a bit at night, but that's easily controlled."

"That's good," I said. "It'll come in handy when you take Lucy hiking."

"Pardon?" Brian looked startled. He gazed at Annie.

"Oh, just that Lucy enjoys hiking in the Gatineau hills, remember? So I figure if she's staying with you and Annie, you'll be taking her hiking and camping and doing all those things with her, right?" If they could play dirty, so could I.

"Well now, we thought you'd still be able to do those things with Lucy."

"Me? You mean you'd trust me with her out in the wilderness, but I'm not capable of looking after her on a daily basis?"

"This isn't a comment on your abilities, Fletcher," Annie stated. "We simply think—"

"Annie, there is nothing simple about this. You'll be taking the only stability Lucy's had since Daniel died."

I glanced at Aiden, who looked wary. I hadn't planned on getting into this until we'd finished dinner.

Annie gave me a tolerant look. "Of course, we know that it will be difficult for you."

I gaped at her. "Difficult for me? Lucy will be the one to suffer. I'm going to win this fight, Annie, but Lucy will be the one to suffer."

"So don't fight with us, Fletcher. Why don't you make this easy on us all and admit that you're in over your head parenting a child by yourself? Lucy will be with us, and you can live your life the way you want to."

"This is the way I want to live my life!"

"Is it? Bringing casual sexual partners into the home where your twelve-year-old daughter lives?"

"Aiden isn't my casual sex partner. And he's gay, so I can assure you he's absolutely no threat to my twelve-year-old daughter."

Annie looked skeptical. Aiden and Brian looked horrified at the way the conversation had turned.

"My personal life is none of your business," I said to Annie, careful to control the tenor of my voice. "Wait. Are you actually homophobic? Is that part of what this is about?"

Annie's lips pressed together. "I watched you marry my son. I watched you hold his newborn child in your arms. I never said anything, made any kind of protest or complaint. I figured if you were what Daniel wanted, then I would support him. But…now that he's gone…"

"Now that he's gone, what? You only care about Lucy?" I stared at Annie. "Did you ever actually like me, Annie? Or did you only pretend, for Daniel's sake?"

For the first time, Annie looked embarrassed and caught out.

"Fletcher, I… I only think that Lucy would be better off with us. I think that, in the circumstances, Daniel would feel that way, too."

Brian stepped forward. "Annie, you have no idea what Daniel would think about any of this, and the only reason Fletcher has a new boyfriend is because his husband, our son, died."

Well, at least one of them was reasonable.

"Exactly," Annie said, folding her arms over her chest. "Lucy is all we have left of Daniel. Can you blame us for wanting to spend more time with her?"

"No, that's the only part of this I understand. Because Lucy is all I have left of Daniel, too. But I'm pretty sure—no, I'm absolutely positive—that Daniel wouldn't want us to fight over her."

"No, he wouldn't," Annie said.

"Good. I'm glad we agree on that, at least."

"What I want," Annie said softly, "is for you to really think about what you're doing, Fletcher. Starting a new relationship, gallivanting all over the city, leaving your daughter with questionable young men…"

"You mean Robin?" I asked.

"Yes. Robin. The boy in the makeup who was here the other day."

"For one thing, Robin is in his early twenties. For another thing, he's a kind and responsible person. He's also funny and charming, and Lucy loves him."

"Lucy is twelve years old."

"This discussion is going nowhere," Brian said.

"I have a right to my personal time, Annie. If I want to go out with Aiden, or anyone else for that matter, it's none of your business."

"Not when you're a single parent, you don't," Annie said. "Lucy and Lucy's needs should be your absolute priority, Fletcher. Take it from someone who's raised a child once already."

Oh, she was going to use that one on me.

"Lucy's needs are my priority. But my needs are important, too," I said. "And I'm perfectly happy to arrange a more frequent schedule if you want to see Lucy more often."

"Hmph," Annie muttered.

There was an awkward silence as we sat in disagreement. Then Brian spoke.

"Annie, parenting is different than it was when we had Daniel."

"What?" Annie asked, gazing at Brian with confusion.

I could see that Brian was trying to be diplomatic about all of this, and I appreciated that.

"Parents aren't expected to give up everything for their children anymore," he said. "And…I think that it would have benefited you to have looked after yourself better and not done everything for Daniel for so long."

I bit my tongue, because, yeah, it had taken some time for Daniel to realize that I wasn't going to take over from Annie and look after his every need. We had had some arguments early on about what I expected from another adult in a relationship, and that I wasn't prepared to sacrifice myself for his needs. He'd changed his habits, or there wouldn't have been a long-term partnership between us. When Lucy had come along, it had been a struggle for the both of us, but we'd done our best to share responsibilities equally.

Now it was only me, but I knew the importance of finding some space for my own needs and wants, even if I felt guilty about it sometimes. My therapist had emphasized it, too.

Because what I had with Aiden had helped to fulfill me, and that benefited Lucy, too—not to mention that I had someone to help me out with practical things, as well. He wasn't a co-parent…yet. But he had my back. He was proving that right now.

He'd been quietly watching everything unfold, and now cleared his throat.

"May I say something? As an objective third party and an elementary teacher."

Annie rolled her eyes, but Brian gestured for Aiden to continue.

"Of course," he said, ignoring the look Annie gave him.

"I think," Aiden said, choosing his words with care, "that regardless of who might be a better parent objectively to Lucy—and, so there's no confusion, I think that would be Fletcher—but regardless of that, don't you think that Lucy's had enough upheaval in her life?"

Annie blinked at him, thinking that over. When she started speaking, she seemed calmer, and I had some renewed hope for the evening.

"I don't think it would be an upheaval for Lucy to come and live with us. She already has space in our home. She's used to staying with us for lengthy periods over the summer."

I couldn't let that rest.

"Yes, when she's on vacation. But Lucy has her regular life here," I said, putting my hands in my pockets to keep me from walking over and trying to strangle Daniel's mother. "She has a friend who lives down the street. We have school bus pick-up arranged, right out of the front door. I don't think she'd qualify for school bus transportation from your zone. Have you thought about that?"

Annie grunted. "Brian will drive Lucy to school."

"I didn't really think about that," Brian said, shrugging. "But, yes, I can drive her."

"Great," I said, giving them a fake smile. "But did you know she enjoys riding the bus with her friends? It's not a long ride, and it's a way for her to destress after a long day."

Annie glanced at Brian.

"Actually, I was looking at a couple of the schools in our zone. I think one of those might be better suited to Lucy and would provide a much better learning environment."

Wait, what?

"You want her to switch schools? Are you kidding me?"

"Saint Bartholomew is supposed to be a very good school. I've heard that the Catholic board is better all-around than the public one."

Well, this was getting better and better.

"You want to put Lucy in the Catholic Board." I couldn't even believe they were proposing something so offensive.

"Well, I just think it's a better—"

"Wow." It was Aiden.

We looked over at him. He was staring at Annie with a stunned expression.

"Do you…do you know what the kids in the Ontario Catholic Board learn about gay and trans rights?"

"I don't think that's relevant," Annie said.

"Absolutely nothing," Aiden stated. "They don't get proper sex education, either."

My head was spinning.

"Lucy is not going to attend a Catholic school," I stated. "Daniel wouldn't want that. And I certainly don't. And neither does Lucy."

"But if it's what's best for her—" Annie tried.

But I couldn't even discuss it anymore.

"I'm sorry. I cannot continue this conversation."

I stood and went into the kitchen. I checked the timer on the lasagna. It still had another twenty minutes of cooking time. I didn't think I was going to make it.

I heard subdued conversation and sounds of movement from the living area. Then Aiden came into the kitchen.

"They're leaving."

I looked at him, wondering how on earth we'd gotten to this place.

"But…but we haven't had the lasagna." All that work and hope that somehow this could fix the situation.

"I'm so sorry, Fletcher. I tried to get them to stay."

I nodded, wiping tears of frustration from the corners of my eyes with the heel of my hand.

"God, Aiden. I'd give anything to be in the Bordello with you right now. I want to be Treasure for a little while—not Daniel's grieving husband, not Lucy's dad, not Annie and Brian's fucking son-in-law." I lifted my gaze to his. "I just want to be me."

He stared at me for a long moment. "When are Robin and Patrick bringing Lucy home?"

"We've probably got a few hours."

Aiden looked sober. He walked past where I was standing and turned the oven off.

"Follow me," he said.

What was happening? Was this what I thought it was? My brain began to swim but I focused on Aiden's words. All I had to do was what he told me.

I followed.

He led me upstairs. "Guest room or main room?"

It didn't take me long to decide. "Main room."

"Take off your clothes, fold them and put them here," Aiden said, pulling the straight chair out from my desk. "And I want you to count your breaths while you do that. Ten on the inhale and ten on the exhale."

"Thank you," I said, my trembling fingers working on the buttons of my shirt.

Aiden went to my bedside table and gently turned the framed photo of Daniel on its face.

"When you're done, come over here and kneel at my feet." He sat on the bed and placed his hands on his thighs.

I obeyed, concentrating on my breathing like he'd instructed. When I was completely naked, I kneeled at Aiden's feet.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked.

I inhaled—one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. "For fucking up dinner. For chasing them away. For not being able to—to fix this." I exhaled—one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

"Fletcher," Aiden said, stroking my hair in a way that made me feel cherished. "None of that is your fault."

I nodded. I couldn't speak. I continued to count my breaths, feeling a sense of calm return.

"And you're only a horse, my Treasure, so you can't possibly figure this out right now. And I need you here, your mind and your body, at my feet and under my command. Can you be Treasure for me?"

"Yes, Sir," I whispered.

"Good pony. Stand up." Aiden stood.

I did as he'd instructed.

"Cross your wrists behind your back. Where do you keep your ties?"

"Oh," I said, crossing my wrists behind me. "In the top drawer on the right."

"I won't use any that look expensive, but I need a couple of them."

He returned to me and used one tie to bind my wrists together and another over my eyes.

"You know, when horses are anxious and scared, a blindfold can calm them down."

"Yes, Sir," I said, my voice quiet and subdued.

"It forces them to place their focus inward, be in the moment and not to worry about their surroundings," he said, in a calm, steady voice. "I want you to pay attention to your body and what I'm going to do with it—and on the things you can hear and smell around you. I want you to know that you are in a safe space with me. You believe that, don't you?"

"Yes."

"What's your safeword, Fletcher?"

"It's ‘lamp'."

"That's right. Use it if you need to. I won't be mad."

"Yes, Sir."

"I'm going to keep talking to you, but I want you to be silent, unless there's something you need to say. Ponies don't talk, of course, and I want you to be my Treasure right now and nothing more."

I gave him a nod, already feeling the stress of the evening beginning to dissipate.

"Hold on. I'll be right back."

And he was gone.

I focused on the ambient sounds of the room around me and the rest of the house. The HVAC fan hummed and the clock on my wall made a soft, steady ticking. I'd never been more grateful for it than in this moment. It was the rhythm of a heartbeat, the memory of an in-the-womb sense of security, and it imbued me with calm.

Aiden rustled around in the ensuite, opening drawers and closing them. Finally, I heard him return to the bedroom. He laid a palm on my flank as he leaned into my ear.

"Is the black brush with the soft bristles yours?"

I nodded.

"All right. I'm going to use it to groom you."

I nodded again and licked my lips.

When Aiden began to draw the brush along my skin, I focused on the soothing sensation and on the strength behind Aiden's gentle care. He could have used the back of the brush on my ass—I wouldn't have complained and a part of me wanted to ask for it. Instead, he gently caressed my skin with it, stroking me everywhere, in intimate and not-so-intimate places, while I felt my muscles unclench and relax.

Soon, a different kind of tension built, and I turned some of my focus to that.

Aiden noticed.

"You're feeling better, my pretty pony."

He stroked his fingers along my erection. I groaned and shifted my bare feet.

"Oh, my Treasure is a very sweet, very obedient pony," he murmured, playing his fingers over my length, cupping my balls, and otherwise making me desperate, "I'm going to take care of this for you."

I didn't fully comprehend what he meant until air currents suggested he'd moved, right before his warm mouth engulfed my cock.

I gasped as he grabbed my ass and pulled me closer.

"Oh fuck," I grunted.

With my hands bound at my back and the blindfold on, every sensation was amplified, and the feeling of not being in control was heightened. Every coherent thought left me, and I dissolved into the bliss of getting sucked off by someone so enthusiastic and dear to me.

He slobbered over me, letting his saliva get things oh, so messy. It dripped down to my balls. The sounds of sucking, wet flesh and Aiden's soft grunts filled the room. My desire rose, along with my desperation, and the volume of my groans.

The tension built and threatened to break apart the tentative hold I had on myself.

Aiden must have realized. He tightened his grip on my ass and moved his head rapidly back and forth as he worked my cock. I staggered with the force of his pulls, and when he took a hand off my ass to squeeze my balls and finger my hole, I exploded.

I let out a shout that became a groan then a whine as Aiden worked to keep up. He moaned as he swallowed it all and brought me down from the pinnacle, then laughed when his attentions became too much for my super-sensitive glans and I pulled away.

I heard shuffling as he got up and the creak of the mattress as he sat.

"Mmm. Spent and panting and utterly wrecked. That's how I like you."

I concentrated on slowing my breathing and subduing the tremble in my muscles. Aiden stood and lifted the blindfold from my face, gazing at me with a satisfied smile.

"Feel better?"

"Aiden. Thank you."

He wrapped his arms around me and undid the tie holding my wrists together. Once I was free, I embraced him and held him close, enjoying the way his clothed body contrasted with my nakedness.

"I'm glad I could help."

"I think I might be able to sleep later."

"I'm so sorry the evening didn't turn out like we'd hoped."

"I just don't know what to do. I can't let them disrupt Lucy's life, but I also won't put her through a court battle."

"Yeah, it's a shitty situation to be in," he conceded. "But, you don't have to do anything right away. Even if"—Aiden held up his hands—"worst-case scenario, they file legal papers tomorrow, Lucy won't know about it and you'd still have time to negotiate."

I nodded, feeling hopeless and sad.

"Maybe something will come to you if you don't get all wrapped up in figuring out a way to stop them. You can't control their actions, only your own," he said, kissing me softly. "Now, you'd better get dressed, because the boys and Lucy will be back any time."

"Good idea," I said, disengaging from Aiden's embrace. I glanced at his crotch. "Do you want me to…?" I asked.

"I don't think we have time. But I will definitely take a rain check."