Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Keeping Secrets

In a second my phone was ringing. I hit Answer.

"What's up? Is this a booty call?"

If only.

"I'm so sorry to bother you. I just… I need to talk to someone." I made a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob.

"Fletcher, are you okay?"

"No. I'm not. Can you come over?"

"Sure. Tell me what's going on. You're not hurt, are you?"

"Not physically."

"Fletcher…"

"Daniel's parents… They want to take Lucy away from me."

There was a pause. "What?"

I took a deep breath to keep from screaming. "They want custody of our daughter."

"Oh my God. Is that what they wanted to tell you at lunch?"

"Yes. I'm just back. I didn't eat. I left right after they told me."

"I'll be there as soon as I can. When does Lucy get home?"

I checked the time. "In about two hours."

"All right. See you soon."

"Bye."

In retrospect, as I sat there on the living room sofa with the dogs around me, I wondered why my first instinct had been to call Aiden. I had friends that I'd known longer than I'd known him. But…I didn't want to tell them something so personal. Aiden knew me by now, mostly, and he knew Lucy. I guess I trusted him and respected him enough to value his opinion and input.

Aiden made me feel safe. And that was what I needed most right now, after the rug had been pulled out from under me.

While I waited for Aiden, instead of curling into a ball on my bed and sobbing, which was what I wanted to do, I took the dogs for a walk. The sun was shining, although it was a bit cold, and I needed to see that the Earth was still turning and the trees were still standing, even when I felt that my entire world was at its end.

Owning dogs might be messy and inconvenient, but the overall benefit to Lucy's and to my health was worth it. I didn't want to think about Lucy living with Annie and Brian full-time, without any animals to whisper her secrets to in the dark of night. It wasn't going to happen. I wouldn't let it happen. It was bullshit that they'd even proposed the idea, and they didn't have any legal claim on Lucy. She was my daughter, full stop.

By the time I got home, I felt much more in control of the situation. I needed to call a lawyer for advice, but I wanted to talk to Aiden first.

He showed up with a box of donuts and two coffees.

"I didn't know what you needed more, caffeine or treats, so I got both."

"Thanks. Come on in."

Aiden toed off his boots, and I put the coffee tray and bag of goodies on the coffee table.

"Fuck, Fletcher. What the hell? They can't take Lucy away from you."

"My name's on her birth certificate. She's my daughter."

"Do they have any parental rights because of being…blood related to Lucy?"

"I looked up the rules in Ontario, and as long as I'm her legal parent by birth, which is evidenced by the birth certificate, I don't think they can overrule my rights as a parent."

"Good!"

"Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Unless they can prove I'm unfit."

"But you're not! You're a wonderful father to Lucy!"

I reached for Aiden's hand. "Thank you. I mean, I try."

I looked around at the house. Even with some of the clutter put away it was far from ideal. "The place could be a little cleaner and tidier."

"Fletcher."

"It's hard to keep up, you know? With the dogs and the two of us…"

Aiden took my face between his hands. "Fletcher, look at me. This house is fine. There aren't vermin and feces everywhere, I take it? I don't see any."

"No. But…"

"But what?"

"Is this really the best place…for Lucy?" I asked. It was the thing that scared me deep down, the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Annie and Brian were right.

Aiden kissed me, then gave me a little shake of the shoulders. He gazed into my eyes like he did in the Bordello when he was getting me to focus.

"The best place for Lucy is with the only dad she has left. The best place for Lucy is with you."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He shrugged. "I'm only telling you what you already know."

I rubbed my face. "Goddamn it. I was starting to feel better. It's been rough since Daniel died. I miss him so much, Aiden."

He squeezed my hand. "I can't even imagine how hard it must have been, how hard it still is to parent Lucy on your own. But as far as I can see, you're doing a bang-up job. And I'm furious at them for making you doubt that."

We sat in silence for a little bit. Aiden passed me a coffee and put the donuts on plates, passing one to me.

"She's going to their place for the weekend," I said, after I'd had a sip of coffee and a bite of donut. At least the urge to be sick had left me. "I kind of wish she wasn't, except I was honestly looking forward to a bit of a break. Now I feel guilty about that."

"That doesn't mean you don't want to be her parent. In what universe would it mean that?"

"It makes me nervous to have her stay with them now. I feel like they might put things into her head, you know? To convince her that she's better off with them."

"Can you cancel?"

I shook my head. "Lucy would be devastated. She loves spending time with them, which is fantastic. I don't think she wants to live there, though." I lifted my hands as if I had no idea about anything anymore. "But who knows?"

We sat in silence for a bit longer, sipping our coffees. Then Aiden turned to me.

"Okay, look. This is how I see it, but feel free to disagree. Letting Lucy's grandparents have access is a non-issue, right? It's important for them, and it's important for Lucy."

"Right. I'd never in my wildest dreams deny them that. It's another connection to Daniel, and they all need it."

"Okay. So she goes to their place for the weekend, and you and me have a good time, and we take your mind off the things Daniel's parents said to you and any future challenges in that area. Because the alternative is that you brood and worry, and I'm not having it."

Aiden sounded so firm in his resolve to look after me. I couldn't say no.

"I want to call a lawyer," I said.

"Absolutely." He looked at his watch and showed me the time. "You'd better do that now, because in a few hours they'll all be going home to start their weekend."

"Yeah."

He leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Look… I'm gonna go. Call the lawyer, and get some advice. Take Lucy to her grandparents' place then call me. I'll pick up some takeout on my way back here, and we can have a sleepover."

"Okay," I said, relieved that he didn't want to go anywhere.

"I've, uh, booked the Bordello for tomorrow night. I was going to surprise you…"

This news, instead of making me feel guilty, gave me a huge sense of relief. "Really?"

"Do you want to go? I can probably get my money back if I cancel before tomorrow."

"Aiden, I think I need to go. If anything can get my mind off of this whole mess, it's being with you in that place."

Aiden smiled. "I was hoping you'd say that."

* * * *

When Lucy got home, I pretended everything was normal.

"Hey, Dad, maybe you can have Aiden for a sleepover," Lucy said, as I drove her to Brian and Annie's, wondering how I was going to act natural when I dropped her off.

She waggled her eyes and gave me a cheeky grin.

"But my Batman pajamas are in the laundry," I said.

She snorted. "I don't think Aiden would mind if you didn't wear pajamas."

"Oh my God, Lucy!"

"Oh my God, Dad!" she said. "I know what happens when two guys who are into each other have a ‘sleepover'," she said, using air quotes.

"No, you don't. Come on."

"Yeah, I do."

I gave her a skeptical glance. "And how do you know that?"

"It's called the internet," she said, with the smugness of a generation. "You can look up all sorts of things."

"You…what…? I mean, Lucy! Really?" I was shocked and didn't entirely believe her, because I was aware that she liked getting a reaction, but I also didn't want to shame her for being curious. It was a difficult line to walk.

"Dad, relax. I think it's gross, but no grosser than what straight couples do. Ick. I might never have sex. With anyone."

"Jesus Christ," I said, with a sigh. I was glad she wasn't in a hurry to be sexually active, no lie, but this conversation was getting to be really uncomfortable.

"But you should totally take advantage of the fact that I'll be at Granny and Grandpa's."

My heart ached from the knowledge that Annie and Brian wanted Lucy and her commitment to shock value full-time. I didn't know if they were ready for that, and it amused me to think that they were in no way prepared for it.

"Listen," I said. "I want you to know that, even though being a parent can be hard sometimes, I love being your dad."

She gave me a weird look. "O-kaaay. Thanks?"

"Just know that I would do anything for you, Lucy."

She narrowed her eyes. "Dad, what's wrong?"

I forced myself to laugh. It sounded so hollow and fake, but I went with it.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I just love you so much."

"I know. I…love you, too." She was looking at me strangely, and I realized I might have revealed too much.

"What? I wanted to say it. I don't say it enough." I said, backpedaling.

"Dad, don't go all Hallmark on me. It's embarrassing."

I raised my hands. "Sorry. I'm sorry."

I got out of the car, and Lucy exited on her side. She was still looking at me a bit strangely, like she knew something was up but couldn't quite figure it out. She took her backpack and slung it over her shoulder, while I went to get her duffel bag from the trunk.

Brian answered the door. "Hello!"

"Hi, Brian," I said.

"Hi, Grandpa. Dad's acting weird."

Brian frowned. blinked. He looked at me, and when he saw my big, fake smile, he matched it.

"Oh, Dads act weird all the time. Totally normal."

"Hardy har," Lucy said, throwing me a glance as she went inside. "Bye, Dad. See you on Sunday."

"See you on Sunday," I said, lifting my hand to wave, but she was already inside and I could hear Annie greeting her with much affection.

I looked at Brian.

"I'll pick her up around three o'clock," I said.

"Of course. Thank you."

I started to turn, but Brian cleared his throat. "We won't mention anything to Lucy."

"Thank you."

"But Annie is serious about this, Fletcher."

"Yeah, I could tell. What about you?"

Brian sighed. "We miss our son. And Lucy is all we have left of him."

"She's all I have left of him, too," I said. "I spoke to a lawyer."

"I see." He sighed. "I was hoping we wouldn't have to go that far."

"What? Did you think I'd just hand her over? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Brian lifted his hands. He continued, keeping his voice low. "You seem overwhelmed, Fletcher. Maybe it would be better for you if we looked after Lucy full-time. You'd have total access, of course, and she could stay with you on some weekends, just like she's been doing with us."

I didn't even know how to respond to that. "I'll see you on Sunday."

He gave me a nod and closed the door.

My stress had just gone up another three levels, even though the lawyer had reassured me that I'd win if they took the matter to the courts. The problem was, I didn't want to put Lucy through that. Lucy loved her grandparents, and she loved me. I couldn't even comprehend the damage that a full-on legal battle between us would have on her mental health.

I called Aiden from the car on the Bluetooth connection.

"I'm going to have a fucking coronary, and they'll get custody because Lucy will lose her only other parent. I'm on my way home."

"Try to calm down. We're going to have a fantastic weekend."

"Jesus, I hope so."

* * * *

When I got home, I felt better. The little bit of frantic tidying I'd done had made a difference, and I felt like the house looked like a typical family home now. Maybe even better than typical? I couldn't be the only single parent who let things slide now and then.

In spite of everything, I was glad Lucy was with Brian and Annie for the weekend. I was prepared to bury my worry for the time being, so I could let Aiden distract me in the ways he knew best.

Aiden showed up about an hour later with an extra-large Vegetarian pizza, which he'd already cleared with me.

I took the pizza from him and put it on the stove, then crashed against him in a desperate attempt to distract myself from everything. A conflagration of need and desire flowed between us, and I lost myself in its urgency.

"Is this ever going to get old?" I gasped against his mouth.

"God, I hope not. And if it does, we'll just have to get kinkier."

"I'm on board with that," I said, cupping his chin and grabbing at his pretty lips with mine. "How are you so fucking gorgeous?"

"Good jeans," he breathed, grabbing my belt loops and pulling me in. "Get it?" He smiled against my mouth.

I groaned, feeling the insistent probing of his tongue in every part of my body.

"Fuck, I need you—right the fuck now," I panted.

"Well, you can have me—right the fuck now," Aiden said, pulling back and whipping off his T-shirt. His nipples—a dusky rose color—were pebbled and hard. I reached out to touch one, and he gave me an incendiary look and led me toward the stairs.

"I assume your bedroom is this way?"

"You assume correctly," I said. "Turn right at the top, and it's the last door."

"Aren't you coming with me?" he asked with a playful lilt.

"Of course. Lead the way."

Aiden turned and walked up the stairs, showing off his tight as hell ass in a pair of snug track pants. I was glad he'd gone casual tonight. It was a nice change for us. I still had my jeans and work shirt on, but I was ready to either get naked or change into pajama pants.

Aiden gave me a salacious glance. "Hey, do you want to fuck me?"

I stumbled at the thought of it. "I'm glad you didn't ask me that on the stairs."

"Do you, Fletcher? Because I'm into it if you are."

"Oh my fucking God. Are you kidding? Yes!"

He laughed.

"I thought you were an out and out top," I said.

"So did I. But for some reason, I want you to. I'm trying not to question it."

"Good. Don't."

"Plus, you can go bare, if you're comfortable with that."

"Oh, God. Now I want to do you even more."

We'd gotten our test results back and had only recently gotten used to going bareback, but it was usually Aiden doing the fucking. Now, I'd get to try it.

I'd given him directions to the guest bedroom, because I didn't think I could handle getting dirty with Aiden in the room I'd shared with Daniel. Not yet. I closed the door, even though nobody else was in the house and I'd locked the front door behind Aiden.

Aiden glanced around him.

"This is…not your room."

He was pretty perceptive.

"Correct. But there is a bed."

"I see that." He looked at me carefully. "You gonna be okay?"

"If we do it here, yeah. I can't do it in—"

"Hey, you don't have to. I'm happy to have you anywhere I can get you."

"I love that you're so versatile," I said, the double meaning intentional.

"You have no idea," Aiden said, stepping forward and bringing me in for a passionate kiss. "You make me want to do all kinds of things." Aiden grinned against my mouth. "And I'm good at topping from the bottom."

"I'll bet you are, you sexy fuck."

We laughed as we fell onto the bed.

"Why on earth aren't you undressed yet?" Aiden said, pushing his pants and shorts down.

"Working on it," I muttered, unbuttoning my shirt as fast as I could, and regretting that I'd not gone with a T-shirt.

"Here, let me help," Aiden said, going at my belt and fly as I finished with the buttons and wrestled the shirt off. Aiden dragged my jeans and boxers down my thighs then my cock was in his mouth and he was gazing up at me with those dark eyes as I gasped and said his name.

He didn't reply. He simply kept sucking and licking and doing all kinds of wonderful things with his tongue, until I warned him that if he wanted to get fucked, he'd better back off and get himself ready.

He pulled off me with a pop and sat back, his cock hard and leaking. "Fletcher, we have got to work on your self-control."

"Okay," I panted. "But not tonight."

He laughed. "Fine."

"How are we doing this?" I asked. "Do you want to ride me?"

A smile formed on his face. "Now that is a great idea."

"Then you wouldn't really be topping from the bottom. Because you'd be on top…technically."

He waved his hand in the air. "All these formalities. Fuck 'em. Let's just do this."

"So romantic."

"You want to fuck this ass or not, Fletcher?"

"Stop talking. Here." I opened a drawer where I had stashed supplies and tossed him a tube of lube.

He caught it. "I'm impressed. You seem to have everything at the ready. Do you really want to rush this?"

"Not usually, but honestly? Yes. I need to get my head out of my own ass and into yours, Aiden. Like, right the fuck now."

He laughed and lifted his hands, giving no argument. "Okay, okay." He offered me the lube. "Slick up that beautiful cock, then, and prepare to be boarded."

I squirted lube into my palms and rubbed my hands together. "Is that a Star Trek reference?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Absolutely not. It's Our Flag Means Death."

"Oh fuck, of course it is. How could I have thought otherwise?"

"Exactly." Aiden watched me lube up my cock and crawled toward me with a feline's grace.

"Who's supposed to be Blackbeard?"

"Me, of course. You're the Gentleman Pirate," Aiden said, looking devilish as he crawled over to perch on my thighs, his tawny cock bobbing in front of him.

I groaned as I moved my hand faster. "I hardly feel like a gentleman right now."

"Well," Aiden murmured, as he took the tube of lube from me and squirted some into his hand, "I'm ready to channel Blackbeard, so get with the program."

I made my eyes go comically wide and said, in a terrible New Zealand accent. "Ed, you don't mean you want me to put my…penis…in your…arse? Is that how it's done?"

Aiden's cock jerked as he readied himself for a fucking. I laid down on my back on the coverlet.

"On my ship," he said, his voice husky and commanding, "that's how it's done."

"Oh, Ed!" I said, my lashes fluttering as I held my cock at the base, and he positioned himself over it. "I do like it when you take control."

"That's a terrible accent," Aiden said, as he took my cock in his fingers and guided it to the right spot, just before sinking down on me with a gasp and a curse, as he closed his eyes and grimaced.

"Oh shit. Are you all right?" I said, the heat of his body causing waves of pleasure to go through me.

His expression relaxed. When he opened his eyes, they looked bestial and just like I imagined Blackbeard's would.

"Oh fuck," he whispered. Then he sank down farther with a groan, and I matched it as I clutched the bedclothes with one hand and gripped his thigh with the other. Then, with the most beatific expression on his pretty face, he started to move.

And I just about came right away because it had been such a long time since I'd fucked instead of been fucked, because Aiden was gorgeous and sexy, and because I had feelings. So many feelings, that for some reason hit me like a Mack truck at the sensation of warmth around my dick.

"Hold on," I stuttered, grabbing his other thigh and forcing him to be still. "Stop. I can't… You don't want me to come yet."

"No, Fletcher. I don't. Please don't come."

"I'll try not to, I promise."

Aiden gave me a stern look, as if we were in the Bordello already.

"Don't. Come," he said. "I'm going to enjoy myself, and you're going to hold off coming…or else."

"Or else, what?" I whispered, captivated by him.

"Shhh," Aiden said, leaning forward and gripping my shoulders as he moved fluidly on my cock. His unblemished skin shone in the lamplight, the color of burnished gold. His face went through multiple expressions, betraying every emotion and sensation.

I was beyond coherent speech, all my focus on not attaining the climax I could feel just within reach. Aiden moved like an animal, sinuous and stealthy, as he fucked me. He was in total control.

"Just stay still. Let me fuck myself on you. You're so hard. It's like fucking a stone." Aiden made a sound like a whine as he moved himself in a corkscrew motion over my stiff cock.

"Oh God," I gasped in a high-pitched, vulnerable voice, trying to keep from coming. But it was so difficult when Aiden moved like that! "Oh, please. Oh God. Fuck…"

"I'm so fucking full. I love this," Aiden said between grunts and groans. "Now," he said, as he grabbed his own dick and started jerking it in time with his movements. "I'm going to come. And you're going to hold off until I'm done. And you're going to watch me.

He sat on my cock, rocking gently, and jerked himself slowly, with the most indulgent expression on his pretty face, his mouth open and his eyes dark with need.

"Oh my God. Oh my God."

It was all I could say, my face scrunched up in concentration as I tried to keep from emptying my balls. I wanted to. I wanted to so badly. But more than that, I wanted to please Aiden. "Hurry. Please."

"Don't worry, baby. I've got you," Aiden gasped, giving his cock two more jerks then groaning as he spent in quick spurts, his spunk landing on my clenched abdomen and pounding chest.

"Okay. Now you can come," he said finally, and I exploded like a rogue firecracker.

The sound I made was almost inhuman as I let myself fall over the edge, and my balls and cock pulsed with pleasure. I stared at him, my fingers digging into his thighs as the waves of ecstasy rode me. The strength of my cries petered out as Aiden swiped his fingers through his own jizz and pressed them to my lips.

I lapped at them like a hungry kitten, cleaning them while sparks of remnant pleasure arced through me.