Chapter Twenty-Nine Madison

O nce upon a time, I considered what it would be like to have a man I care about be part of mine and my mother’s holiday traditions. But the last thing I expected was for it to be Jaxson that I spent all my time with. His presence is refreshing and comforting. My heart swells with happiness every time he’s around, but at the same time—his presence was a reminder that none of this was going to last. He is leaving soon, and when he does… I’ll once again be alone.

Which was what finally sunk in the moment after I sucked his cock in the front seat of his car. That and the contemplation that I’m nothing more than a hook-up. A girl to get him off when it’s convenient… nothing more.

“Oh my gosh!” My mother coos as she places her hand upon Jaxson’s at the dinner table. “You’re amazing… but I wish you would have let me help prepare everything. ”

“It’s the least I could do. You have been so kind to allow me to film in the bakery, and with all the time spent with Madi… cooking Thanksgiving dinner for you both is an honor.”

Hearing how well he and my mom get along is remarkable. Though my mother gets along with everyone, there’s something special about the connection she has with him. Her hand resting upon his cheek as they smile at each other. “You’re such a good boy, Jaxson. You always have been.”

I know how hard the holidays have been with his parents. Just yesterday, the two of us went to visit his mom. He’d been so excited to offer to cook dinner for her and his family, even though there was hesitation considering he knew how she felt about people in her kitchen—he had hope.

However, the moment the offer came out she looked at him in shock and turned her nose up at the idea. Jaxson refused to admit that it bothered him, but I saw it. I saw the look of defeat in his eyes at how his mother had acted, and it broke my heart. Even if he knew what she would do.

I mean, the woman even admitted to not counting on him for Thanksgiving dinner. Who the hell does that ?

However, no matter how hard that was, my mother was quick to jump at the opportunity in telling him that he could cook Thanksgiving dinner for us at her house.

“Madi, this peach cobbler is amazing!” My mother states, both hers and Jaxson's eyes upon me. “Did you change the recipe?”

A small smirk crosses my lips as I nod. “I did… can either of you guess what I added this year?”

Jaxson finishes plating his and takes a bite while my mother takes another bite of her own. Both of them quiet as they savor the flavors. “You added cinnamon…” My mother comments, causing me to smile.

“Yes… and what else?”

She takes another moment before finally shrugging. “I don’t know…” Her eyes turn towards Jaxson. “Do you have an idea?”

“I do,” he replies, taking another bite. “She used heavy cream to give the crust a richer taste and a dash of orange extract to enhance the peach flavor. ”

My eyes widen as does my smile. I hadn’t thought that he’d be able to guess it, but he did.

“Well now,” I mutter, lifting the hot cup of tea I’d made earlier to my lips. “You have been learning with all the cooking we’ve been doing.”

“I’d hope he is,” my mother chimes in. “How did the last session go Tuesday? You guys are finished now, right?”

A glance passes between Jaxson and me. The last filming session happened two days ago. The grand finale, a four-course Thanksgiving special that ended with Jaxson and me fucking in the bakery after the crew left, while in the middle of cleaning. A small tidbit I’ll never share with my mother because I can only imagine what the hell she would say about it.

“Yep, we did. All done.”

Soft laughter comes from Jaxson that causes my mother to crease her brows slightly before seemingly giving up on trying to guess the internal amusement flowing between him and me. For which I’m grateful. She knew that Jaxson and I were seeing each other, something I told her after the first night we’d slept together.

I thought she would have been shocked, but of course—she wasn’t.

Finishing off my tea, I stand to my feet and begin the process of cleaning. I collect the dishes and plates while my mother and Jaxson discuss her participation in the process. To which she, of course, loses and is forced to go sit within the living room with her feet up.

She isn’t even his mother, and yet, Jaxson treats her like she is. Part of me will never understand why his own mother can’t see how amazingly wonderful her son is. The lengths that he goes to for the people he loves…

“Everything okay?” Jaxson’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts as I stare out the kitchen window while washing the white porcelain dishes. Slowly, my gaze shifts to him as I nod.

No… you’re literally leaving in a few days.

“Yeah, why?” I lie, trying to shake the realization that our relationship is coming to a slow end. Every bit of me wants to break down crying, begging him not to leave. But then, I went into this knowing that it wasn’t going to be more than it is. So why let myself feel that way?

“You’re upset. I can see it.”

Staring at him, I let out a heavy breath. “It’s nothing, Jaxson. I’m fine. I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all. ”

Reaching out, he takes the tea towel from the counter and grasps my hands. Drying them off before pulling me towards him. His lips pressing against the top of my head as my face rests against his chest. The intimate and touching moment, making my emotions roll through me like an angry tidal wave demanding to break through the sea’s barrier walls.

“Please tell me what’s bothering you?” he asks, causing me to sigh. I want to tell him, but at the same time I don’t. I’m not the kind of person to share a burden of secrets like that only to have them feel guilty about what they're doing afterward. I mean, Jaxson has a life in New York. Who am I, to try and stop him from going back?

Pulling back, I stare up at him shaking my head. “It honestly isn’t important.”

“If it isn’t important… then there should be no issue telling me.”

Stubborn as hell, aren’t you ?

Groaning, I frown. “Fine. I was just thinking how it sucks you’re going to be leaving soon.”

He’s quiet for a moment. Moving to lean against the kitchen counter as his hands reach for the kitchen towel he disregarded to the side. “About that… I wanted to actually talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” I reply hesitantly. Watching as his hands fiddle with the towel for a moment before placing it down, clearing his throat.

“I know I’m leaving in a few days… but, I want you to come with me.”

Shock fills me at his admission, my lips parting as he stands staring at me. Waiting for a response that I don’t even know how to respond to. I’ve never thought about leaving Willowcreek before, and with my mom and the bakery… how was I supposed to do that? How was I supposed to just say yes and go with him? Even if I really want to.

“You want me to go with you?”

Standing a little straighter, he nods. “Yes, but only if you want to go.”

“Like… for the weekend?”

“No,” he chuckles. “Like for a long term extended trip… to see if this can be more.”

Speechless is the only thing I am. Any girl would jump at the opportunity to go with Jaxson anywhere, especially his home in New York. God, why can’t I say yes? What’s wrong with me ?

“Uh… well, I mean—” I stutter over my words trying to collect my thoughts as he begins to chuckle, stepping closer to me.

“Just think about it. We still have a few days.”

As much as I want to give him an answer right now, perhaps he’s right. Because I don’t want to end up regretting my choice later… especially because the feeling of confliction continues to weigh down on me wanting me to say no when truly all I want to do is say yes.

***

Two hours later, and much laughter and conversation with my mother and Jaxson. I decide to stay a bit longer while Jaxson runs off to have a drink with Knox and Callum. He’d tried to protest in going, not wanting to leave me here but after my mother explained she would drive me home and that we needed some girl time, he gave in and agreed.

“Madi, I don’t understand why you seem so upset today," she remarks as I slide on a pair of pajama pants and a tank top I have stored at her house.

She knows me better than anyone, so there’s no point in lying or trying to hide anything from her because one way or another she’s going to get it out of me. Turning to face where she’s stood in the doorway of my old bedroom, I slowly nod. My hands smooth out the bottom of my tank top as I fold my leg underneath me and sit on the bed.

“It’s not that I’m exactly upset, mom.” I reply, trying to find the right words to explain everything including how Jaxson dropped it on me that he wants me to come with him to New York.

“Okay,” she replies, crossing her arms over her chest. “Then spill… What's going on with you? The past few weeks you have been over the moon spending time with him. Why the sudden change?”

A heavy breath escapes me as I gaze down at my fingers in my lap. The fidgeting behavior is something I’ve always done as a kid when I had to come clean with her about something I wasn’t ready to talk about. “He’s leaving in a few days… ”

Her eyes widen at my admission as her mouth forms an ‘o’ shape as she nods. “Well, sweetie… you knew this was coming. Have you guys talked about what you want to do?”

In all honesty, we hadn’t really talked about any of it. Our time together always spent in the moment while we stayed entangled with each other in bed. My mind trying to live on the edge as he called it as we stayed in the moment and just enjoyed being around one another. Part of me had wanted to ask him what we were… or what our situation was.

But I never did.

I never got the courage to ask him what we were or what the future held. Honestly, we haven’t been seeing each other for long, despite knowing him since childhood. I don’t want to seem like a fucking psycho expecting us to be more when he may not even want that.

“Not really… well,” I sigh, glancing up at her. “He did ask me tonight if I’d go with him to New York.”

“He did?” she exclaims with a smile. “Well, what did you say?”

“I agreed to think about it… but I mean, I can’t go so it doesn’t matter.”

“What?” she asks, her brows narrowing with confusion as her forehead creases. “Why? Don’t you want to go… I mean, I figured you would want to continue to see where things go with the two of you. Unless I misread things.”

What is she talking about ?

“Mom–” I laugh softly, shaking my head in disbelief. “I can’t go… you know I can’t. I have to help you with the bakery. I mean, there is so much to do here, and there are so many orders to fill.”

“Madi, Madi…” she says quickly, shaking her head as she stares at me. “The bakery is my responsibility, not yours. As much as I love running it with you, it’s my dream. It isn’t your dream, and I want you to do what makes you happy. I want you to travel the world… to see new things. I want you to find love with someone who is just as amazing—”

“...as Jaxson?” I say, finishing her sentence. A smile crosses her lips as she gives me the motherly look I’ve seen so many times. The one that screams she loves me, and is proud of me, and so much more in one simple glance.

“If it happens to be Jaxson, then so be it. But if it isn’t, that’s okay too.”

Her words sink in as I sit there trying to process what she’s saying. I want to go, but even though she’s telling me that she doesn’t need me here, I feel like I’m abandoning her if I go. That I will be letting her down, and the thought of leaving her alone kills me.

“Mom…I can’t.” I finally reply, holding back my emotions as tears brim my eyes. “I can’t—”

“Madison, you can… and you will," she replies firmly. “You don’t have to go forever… just a few weeks. Enjoy yourself. See New York, and have fun. You never know, you may surprise yourself.”

Laughter escapes me as I wipe the tears from my eyes. There was no way that I could tell her no now. She’d given me a direct order, and I wasn’t one to typically ignore what she has to say. She is my mother after all, and the fact that she’s giving me her blessing to go shows just how much she really loves me.

“Who are you going to get to help you?”

She waves her hand, scoffing at my comment. “Please Madison… Edith’s been bugging to help me out for years. She would be thrilled if I asked for her help. Now, get your things. I’m going to take you home, and you’re going to talk to Jaxson. You guys have things to plan out.”

Nodding my head, my mother smiles and turns from the room heading back downstairs. My mind races over our entire conversation. I’d been hesitant to go, ready to tell him no and deal with him leaving, and in one conversation with my mom, my plans changed.

Guess I’m going to New York.