Chapter 4

“Hi.”

I looked up from the shelf I was stocking to see a guy around my age staring down at me, with a smirk on his face.

My face was flushed as I pushed to my feet and wiped my hands on my legs. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. Can I help you with something?”

“I don’t mean to bother you, but you’re out of coffee,” he said, gesturing toward the self-serve coffee bar behind us.

Now that I was standing, I got a good look at the guy. He’s taller than me, but that wasn’t exactly hard. I often wondered if my bio-dad was short or if I just took after my mom. His blond hair was slicked back, a lot like Becks wore his, but it didn’t look as natural on him. The color didn’t look natural either. It was so platinum.

His eyes were a pretty hazel color, but it made me uncomfortable with how intensely he was staring at me. I immediately scanned the rest of the tiny store, and hoped we weren’t alone. It was probably just my natural instinct to distrust everyone who wasn’t Becks or Jay, but still, being cautious kept you alive.

I didn’t see anyone, so I forced a smile. “Oh, sorry about that. Give me a minute and I’ll get them refilled.”

He was a little too close for comfort, but allowed me to slide by him, and I hurried to the back where we kept the canisters of coffee.

I had to gather up my nerve before I went back out there. Fuck, what was wrong with me? Fuckin’ Beckett had me paranoid after constantly drilling it into my head to always be aware, always have my head on a swivel and expect the worst. Yup, I was definitely gonna blame him for being so damn jumpy.

When I walked back, the place was still empty except for the guy. He leaned against the self-service and was scrolling through his phone. Totally fuckin’ normal. I needed to get a grip.

He smiled at me as I replaced the empty canister with a new one. “Thank you.”

I nodded awkwardly. “Sure, no problem.”

I started to head back to the register, but he stopped me. “Hey, if I made you uncomfortable back there, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

I shrugged. “You’re fine.” I walked away before he could say anything else.

My escape was short-lived since he had to pay for his coffee, obviously. He had also grabbed a bag of chips and a couple of those packaged cake snacks that I had always thought were gross but Beckett had been obsessed with as a kid. Though, thinking back, I wondered if he was really obsessed or if they were just cheap or easy to steal.

I rang the guy up, and did my best to avoid looking at him. He was staring at me, and I tried so fuckin’ hard not to squirm. I didn’t think he was doing it on purpose, not anymore at least, but I wasn’t used to that kinda attention from anyone but Beckett.

“So, I’m just going to come out and say it. I think you’re really cute.”

My head snapped up from the register. “Um, what?”

Immediately, the guy looked mortified. “Oh fuck, am I barking up the wrong tree? I shouldn’t have just assumed but . . .” He waved his hand at me like that was supposed to clear everything up. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

“Assumed what?” I asked, more curious than anything. Did this guy really just call me cute? Should I be offended? Honestly, I was just confused. Was he flirting with me? Making fun of me? I couldn’t tell.

“Assumed you liked guys.” His cheeks were bright red. I had to admit I was impressed by this guy’s balls. We weren’t in the best neighborhood. He had no idea who I was or who my connections were. He had no idea how his comments would be taken.

I shrugged. Honestly, I had no fuckin’ idea who or what I liked. Beckett was the only person I’d ever thought of like that. He consumed my thoughts, and not always in a brotherly way. But, I knew he only thought of me as his little brother, a kid he had to take care of. I tried so fuckin’ hard to bury my feelings, but even now, as this guy was flirting with me, if you could call it that, I found myself comparing him to Beckett. I had issues.

“I’m not really sure what I like,” I finally admitted.

The guy rocked back on his heels, and I could tell he felt awkward. I felt kinda bad, but it was the truth.

“Alright, that’s cool.” He took a deep breath, like he was stealing himself to say something really epic. “Listen, I’m gonna be in town for a couple weeks visiting my mom and I’m bored out of my fucking mind.” He laughed. “Can I have your number and I’ll give you mine. If you decide that you do like dicks, you can give me a call. Or even if you just want to hang out.”

I frowned. “Why? You don’t know me. Why would I give me your number?”

He lifted his shoulder. “I don’t know. Call it an instinct. I have a feeling you’d be a good fucking time.”

I snorted at that. Me? Yeah fuckin’ right. I was literally the most boring person alive. And if he meant in a sexual way, well, he was out of his damn mind. I’d tried a couple times to hook up with someone, but I couldn’t even get hard. There was apparently only one person who affected me like that, and it wasn’t this guy.

But when he handed me his phone, my crazy ass found myself putting my number in there. Beckett would fuckin’ kill me. I just gave a complete stranger my contact information. That was asking for trouble. We were always so careful. But maybe that was part of the reason I did it.

The guy grinned. “My name is Cole.”

“Riley.”

He took the phone back from me, pressed a couple of buttons, and I felt mine vibrating in my pocket.

“I just texted you, that way you have my number too. It’s nice to meet you, Riley. I hope I hear from you soon.”

Cole grabbed his stuff and left the store. I watched the door until I saw him climb into his car and leave the parkin’ lot. Curiosity got the better of me, and I pulled out my phone to see what he’d texted me.

Hey, blue eyes. Text me sometime if you want to have fun. winky face emoji, heart emoji>

I was playin’ with fire.

It wasn’t unusual for me to come home from an overnight shift and Beckett already be up,getting ready for his at the factory. So it wasn’t a surprise when I stumbled through the door at 5 am to see Becks at our crappy, thrifted table, drinking coffee with his eyes half closed.

I grinned, the anxiety that seemed to keep ahold of me whenever we were apart disappeared. I had this irrational fear that one day I’d come home and Becks wouldn’t be half asleep at the table or sprawled on the couch playing video games, but instead I’d find him on the floor in a puddle of his own blood. I had no idea when I started having those nightmares, but they’d haunted me for fuckin’ years, to the point where I no longer got them only when I was sleeping and it was every time we were apart. I knew it was messed up and unhealthy and there was something wrong with me, so I never told Becks. Whenever he would push, I would make excuses or avoid the full truth until he finally stopped asking and would just hold me until I was calm again.

Beckett looked up when he saw me, and his eyes lit up.

“Hey, how was your shift?”

He pushed to his feet and met me at the door just after I’d kicked my shoes off, and brought me into a hug.

My belly fluttered at the contact. Did he realize what he did to me when he looked at me like that? When he hugged me like I was the most important thing in the world to him? I hugged him back and melted into the touch.

“It was okay.” Until this moment, I wasn’t sure if I was gonna mention Cole to Becks. But something about his hug and the way he tried to subtly breathe in my scent made me want to push things in a way I usually wouldn’t with Beckett.

“Someone gave me his number.”

Beckett moved me back so that we were about arm width apart, his hands firmly squeezed my shoulders. It was perfect. But not as perfect as the way his eyes were on fuckin’ fire.

“What do you mean, someone gave you his number?”

I shrugged and wiggled out of his hold. I walked into the kitchen and ignorined how Becks followed me in. “This guy came in and asked me to refill the coffee. I guess he was flirtin’ with me, and then he gave me his number,” I said in the most casual voice I could muster. I opened the fridge and pulled out a can of soda.

I didn’t look back at Beckett, but I didn’t need to. I could feel the fuckin’ tension in the air. I didn’t know what that meant though. He was always so overprotective, so his reaction could mean anything.

I could feel him right behind me. I took a deep breath and turned around, hoping I looked at lot more relaxed than I felt.

Beckett took up all the space in the tiny area. If it were anyone else, I would have panicked. But not with Becks. I felt my cock twitch, and I had to pray he didn’t notice. I might’ve been a freak who felt things I shouldn’t for my brother, but even if I was playing games, I wasn’t actually ready for Beckett to know that.

“Did you give him yours, butterfly?” His tone was calm, but I could feel the strain behind every syllable. His jaw was so tense, he’d probably be sore. His fists were clenched to his sides, his knuckles white from how tightly he was squeezing them.

I took a sip of my soda and met his eyes. “Yeah.” Becks’s chest heaved.

If I were a better person, I’d tell him that I had no intention of calling this guy. But no matter what Becks said, I wasn’t. Because a good person wouldn’t have romantic feelings for his stepbrother. They also wouldn’t fuckin’ love that possessive gleam in his eyes. I should be running the other way, but I never felt safer or more loved than when Becks acted like he owned me. Like I belonged to him.

I fished out my phone and pulled up the text. “Look at what he sent me. Wild, right?”

I shoved the phone in his hand and took advantage of the distraction to slip past him and head toward our bathroom to take a shower before I crashed. I grinned at the loud thud coming from the kitchen. Did he punch something?

I had just pulled my shirt off and was unbuttoning my jeans when the door flew open and Beckett just stood there, filling the space with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Holy fuck. I gripped the back of the counter and tilted my head up so I was looking him right in the eyes.

I should be terrified, but Becks would never hurt me. I knew that.

He was in my space before I could react, his hands cupped my cheeks, held me in place.

Becks was so fuckin’ close, I could feel his breath on my face. My heart was beating out of my chest, but not ‘cause I was afraid. No, it was ‘cause all I wanted to do was lean forward and close that little bit of space between our lips. Fuck, I really was a freak. I’d felt hardly anything for that guy at the store, but for my own damn brother, I wanted nothing more than to kiss him. I was terrified of Becks’s reaction, and it was the only reason I stopped. I couldn’t lose him, and if I took that step, I was afraid that was exactly what would happen.

“You didn’t answer him,” he finally said, his voice took on that tone that always fuckin’ did something to me.

“Not yet,” I whispered.

Beckett squeezed my cheeks tighter. It smushed my mouth together in a way that probably made me look ridiculous, but I didn’t fight the hold. Something in Beckett’s eyes was holding me paralyzed.

“Not ever, Riley. Delete his fuckin’ number.”

And just like that, I switched from being turned on and excited to fuckin’ pissed. That was my over-the-top, protective big brother speaking, and the brat in me I tried so fuckin’ hard to tame just snapped. I didn’t even wanna call this guy, but now I was tempted.

“Fuck you.” My words were muffled because of how tightly he was squeezing my cheeks, but I fought it this time. My hands found his wrists and I dug my nails in hard enough that they’d likely bleed. He loosened his hold.

“Shit.” He let go and I shoved at his chest, to give myself some breathing space.

“I can talk to whoever I fuckin’ want to! You don’t own me.”

Beckett was on me again. He grabbed my hair which locked me in place. And the look in his eyes . . . ? Fuck. It told me the exact opposite of what I’d just said. He did own me. What did that make me that I’d hoped that was exactly the words that would come out of his mouth?

For a moment, neither of us moved. It was like we were locked in a standoff that both of us were afraid to break. The only sound was our breathing as we stared at each other, neither of us backing down.

Then Beckett blinked and all the possessiveness and tension were gone, replaced by guilt. What the fuck?

“Fuck, Ri. I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”

“What?” Wait, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

“You’re right. I don’t own you. I—fuck. I’m an asshole. You’re right. You can talk to whoever you want. Just—” He tugged at his hair so hard, I was afraid he was gonna rip it out. Shit, this wasn’t supposed to happen. He looked broken, and I felt like shit. I never meant to hurt him. “Just,” he finally continues, “please be careful. I can’t lose you.”

He stormed out of the bathroom before I could even think of a response. I just got my shit together enough to follow him when I heard the front door slam, letting me know he’d left.