Chapter 8

8

Holly

T he end of my college break was almost over. January was nearing, and soon, I'd have to head back to campus… two days earlier than I wanted. I wasn't keen on leaving, mostly because I didn't want to leave Jenson behind. We had yet to talk about what would happen when I left for college. I was over at his house spending time with him more than I was ever at home anymore. And so far, I'd managed to hide my relationship with him from my parents. They had no clue who I was spending so much time with, and they hadn't asked.

But despite needing to talk to Jenson about what was going to happen when I went back to school, I was nervous about the conversation. Because what if this was only just some fun fling for him? Just a way to get a taste of someone younger? What if he wanted to call this off?

If he did, it would fucking wreck me.

My belly roiled at the thought, and my palms dampened. I wiped them on my leggings, blowing out a soft breath. I couldn't keep putting this off. I knew that. But within the short month that I'd had off from school, I'd fallen madly—head over fucking heels—in love with Jenson. It'd been inevitable. He'd managed to sink his claws into me way before we'd even said a single word to each other.

Losing him would destroy a piece of me. A part of me that I would never be able to piece back together. It would be irreparable.

Jenson slid his fingers into my hair from behind the couch and gripped a handful, gently tilting my head back to look down at me. I hadn't even heard him leave his office, where he was working on payroll, which just showed how lost I'd gotten in my head. "I can feel your nervous energy all the way from my office," he rumbled, narrowing his dark eyes at me in concern.

I snorted, trying to play off how I was feeling. Jenson was so in tune with me that I couldn't hide anything from him these days. I usually loved it, but times like these, when I didn't want him to know something was bothering me, I loathed it.

"Nothing's wrong, Jenson."

His other hand curled around my neck, his thumb brushing over my jaw. A shiver raced down my spine. "Don't play games with me, doll. I don't like it when you lie."

I closed my eyes and blew out a harsh breath. He wasn't going to let this go. And I knew he knew all of my tics, so he knew when I wasn't telling the truth. Hell, he even knew when I was omitting something from a conversation.

"Can we talk?" I finally asked him.

He frowned at me for a moment before nodding and releasing me. After striding around the couch, he took a seat next to me and slid an arm over the back of the couch behind my shoulders, his upper body twisted to face me. "What's going on, Holly?"

I nervously fidgeted with my fingers in my lap, staring down at them. "What happens when I leave for college in a few days?" I quietly asked him, afraid of his answer. Afraid it wouldn't be the answer I was looking for.

Jenson sighed. Immediately, I didn't like that sound. That particular one meant this conversation was about to take a turn that I wasn't going to like.

I suddenly wished I could take back the question. Never have this stupid conversation. Never even bring up the conversation and my concerns.

"I think you need to tell your parents about us, Holly. We've been sneaking around for damn near a month now. I don't like hiding you."

I couldn't tell them about us. I'd already fucked up once on my break by getting arrested. What would happen if they found I was sleeping with a man thirteen years older than me?

I began playing with a loose piece of string on the bottom of my shirt, nervously chewing on my bottom lip. "My parents are still a little on edge about me getting arrested, Jenson," I reminded him, still not able to raise my head and look at him. "They pay for all of my college tuition, my books, my car—without them, I couldn't afford any of it. And I'm afraid telling them will force them to take all of that away."

I finally forced myself to look up at him. His jaw was clenched, a storm brewing in his eyes. My gut cramped with anxiety. "So, you think this is just… What, Holly? A fucking game?" he asked, his tone bitter. I opened my mouth to speak, but he continued before I could. "You've never been something easy for me. I fell in love with you pretty goddamn fast." He jerked up from the couch, his movements filled with agitation. "You need to fucking tell them, Holly, you hear me?"

My words were shaky as I spoke, all of the confidence leaving me. I already knew he was about to give me an ultimatum. My heart was already fucking breaking. Because I needed my future. My parents were giving me a way to be debt-free and secure a good life for myself. I couldn't shit all over that. If I did, and they possibly disowned me, where the fuck would that leave me?

Penniless. Broke. Homeless.

"Or what?" I whispered, hating the vulnerability in my voice.

Jenson's eyes, for once, didn't soften as he glared down at me. I flinched, swallowing past the lump in my throat as tears blurred my vision. I rapidly blinked to try to make them go away, but one slipped down my cheek. Jenson's expression didn't change as he watched it crawl down my skin. My heart shattered. My soul split down the middle.

"Or we're done, Holly." He snatched his keys up from the bar in the kitchen and began striding to the front door. I swallowed back a sob. My soul was writhing in agony. He turned to look at me with his hand on the door handle. "If you're not here when I get back, I'll take that to mean that you're refusing to tell them. And we'll be over."

With that, he walked out of the front door. When I heard his truck start, I burst into tears, my entire world shattering into tiny little fragments. I clutched my chest, sobbing. Everything fucking hurt like a knife was being slammed into my heart over and over and over again.

Losing him was the worst pain I'd ever experienced. And I had lost him.

Everything was over.

And it hurt like hell.

"Hun, are you sure you want to head back early?" Mom asked me as we stood on the driveway beside my car. Dad had already said his goodbyes to me and holed up in his office to finish some paperwork that he'd brought home with him. He was in his office a lot these days. He'd forgiven me; I knew that. But our relationship was still on the mend, and he needed time.

I nodded. "I need to get settled in," I told her. "Pick up my books from the bookstore before it gets super crowded. Maybe go grocery shopping. I don't want to get there and be rushing to get everything together at the last minute." It was a lie, but Mom didn't know that. I technically didn't need to be back for another couple of days, per my probation, but I just wanted to leave. I couldn't look out my window and see into Jenson's bedroom a moment longer—a bedroom we'd shared. Fucked in. Cuddled in.

Pain lanced through my chest.

She sighed and wrapped her arms around me. "Drive safely, you hear me? And call me when you get there. I love you."

"I love you, too," I murmured.

I squeezed her to me, swallowing back my tears as I stared at Jenson's still-dark house over her shoulder. He wasn't back home yet. And it was killing me to walk away from him, but I couldn't throw away my future on something so new.

And choosing him would destroy everything.

I would get through this. I had to . And if Jenson and I were truly meant to be, we'd find our way back to each other.

I had to have faith in that.

I slipped into the car and closed my door, backing out of the driveway. My fingers shook on the steering wheel as I made my way out of the neighborhood to the main highway. By the time I reached the interstate, tears were streaming down my cheeks.

And when Jenson called…

I didn't answer.