36. EASTON

THIRTY-SIX

EASTON

I'm not going to lie. This not seeing Knox very often thing is more difficult than I thought it would be. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but at the same time, I'm starting to understand why Knox was reluctant to try.

And it's not even the temptation of those around me that's getting to me. I couldn't care less about missing the sex. Honestly, it's the way he fucking holds me, kisses me good night, and then is there the next day.

The mornings I wake up alone because he has to catch an early plane—refs don't fly private like us players—I'm filled with longing that makes my chest ache.

When we used to only see each other every now and then, it was okay because I thought I could never have him. Now I know that he's mine, the distance is different. It's harder to deal with.

But we promised we were going to do everything we could, and we're making it work.

Even though I'm due to come home tomorrow and he has tomorrow off, I can't wait that long. I need to see his face. Especially before he opens the package I had delivered. As soon as I get the email confirming the delivery, I video call him.

He answers, but he's not looking at his phone. He's looking at the box.

"Open it," I say.

Knox stares at the camera like he's trying to see into my soul. "What did you do?"

"Do you remember when we were drunk in Vegas and I promised to overnight you a ring one day?"

He frowns. "I remember you saying you'd do that so we could get married. Should I be scared about what's in this box? We've been officially together for, what, two months? And of those sixty or so days, we've seen each other maybe fifteen of them. It's way too soon for?—"

"Open it already," I say in exasperation. "But good to know where your head is at on marriage."

"Hey, I'm open to marriage, but now? Way to put pressure on a relationship that's already struggling."

My face falls, and then so does his.

"Shit. I didn't mean how that sounded."

"We're struggling?" I ask. "You're not happy with what we worked out? Because you've got to tell me that kind of thing."

"Not struggling like we're in trouble. I'm still fully in this. I just miss you."

I breathe a bit easier. "Then open the box."

"Okay, hang on, I have to put you down." He places the phone upright, leaning against the side of the kitchen counter, and I watch as he opens the Amazon box.

He pauses and then reaches in to pull it out.

"It might not be a wedding ring or a watermelon candy ring, but it is a ring. Promise fulfilled."

"And to think I was worried about you proposing with a cock ring."

"It vibrates and everything! As soon as I saw it, I thought of you. "

He stares at it in its packaging a bit longer. "I don't know whether to be offended or turned on."

"Definitely turned on. Because the second I get home tomorrow, you're going to have it on, and we're going to tell Connor to take a long-ass walk."

Knox sighs, and it's really hard not to get disheartened when we have these moments. And we've had a few. Usually they happen right before one of us has to go away or if we've been apart for two weeks in a row.

As it is, I get home, we have tomorrow together, and then he's gone the next morning. But even though we have these moments, the times we are together it's as if we haven't been apart at all. There's no awkwardness, no getting into a rhythm of being around one another again. It's as if we pick up where we left off. And the sex? Holy damn, it's explosive. Every single time.

The distance only amplifies it. Especially when it's been so long since we've seen each other.

"Tomorrow," I say.

"Tomorrow. I'll be naked in your bed, waiting."

I can't wait.

The other really unfortunate thing about the distance? Sometimes all that explosive sex is too explosive, and one or both of us are quick on the trigger. Especially when it's been so long since we've been with each other.

After getting home, where Knox is indeed waiting for me, naked with the vibrating cock ring in place, I strip down, climb on top of him, and rut against him until we both come hard. It takes less than a minute for both of us. My gift probably made it worse because the vibration felt amazing on my cock.

I'd prepped myself to be dicked down—ate properly and made sure I was all good to go down there—and it all went to waste because I'm not the only one who misses Knox. My little guy does too.

"We'll try again later." Knox taps my leg, and I roll off him.

He takes the cock ring off and reaches for tissues on my bedside table to wipe it and our skin clean of our mess.

Knox still seems down, and I'm worried it's only going to get worse as the season goes on. I'm hoping I'm not tapped for All-Stars week so at least we'll get some time together then, though he's still reffing AHL games, but at least they're in Colorado.

I sit up. "Are you okay?"

I don't really want to hear the answer, but if this is going to work, we have to communicate.

"Yeah. Just wish that could've been better for you."

What the fuck? "Was that horrible for you?"

"No, but I know you wanted?—"

I put my finger to his lips. "All I've ever wanted is you. Any way I can get you. As often as I can get you. And as naked as I can get you. We both came our brains out. I don't care if it happened quickly, and like you said, we can try again later. At least our issues are that we find each other so hot and love it so much when we're pressed up against each other that we can't help ourselves. I have no restraint when it comes to you. My body has a mind of its own."

He smiles. "Yeah, it's called your brain."

"Nah, I'm pretty sure it's called my dick."

Knox huffs.

"Tell me we're okay," I beg.

He cups my face and pulls me down so he can kiss me. "We're more than good, but I want to give you everything."

"You do. Every single thing I've ever wanted."

He kisses me again, deeper this time, and if he keeps going, that second attempt at being fucked won't be too far away. My cock is already trying to come back alive .

If it weren't for my stupid brother, it might have a chance to get all the way there too.

"I have my eyes covered, and you have sixty seconds to stop what you're doing and come out here because I've decided something."

I growl. "I told him to leave us alone all night, and he can have breakfast with you in the morning before you leave." I yell out to my brother, who's obviously let himself inside my place. "Sorry, can't come out. Your best friend is balls-deep inside my ass!"

Knox shoves me and laughs.

"Didn't need to know that, but this is kind of important. How long do you need?"

Knox looks at me to be honest with Connor. I don't budge.

"We're not in the middle of anything," Knox says. "But we do need a minute."

"I swear to the patron of dicks, if he ends up staying for dinner, you won't get another orgasm until the next time we get to see each other."

"Hurry up," Connor yells.

Ugh. Fine.

We throw on some clothes and head out to the kitchen and living room area, where Connor's pacing back and forth.

"What's up?" I ask.

"You were right," he says to me, and I almost fall over.

"Sorry, what now? Can we get this like in writing or on a recording of some sort? I was right? I mean, I'm always right, but you never admit it. Why was I right this time?"

Connor stops. "That my entire life's focus has been about hockey and looking out for you and Lachie. But mostly you. Because you were closer in age and around me more and got drafted to the same damn team as me. I overstepped where I thought I was helping, I was obsessed with making sure your image stayed squeaky clean, and I've been an unbearable, overprotective twatface. Even when you told me so, I didn't see it. I see it now. I see a lot of things now."

Knox and I glance at each other and then back at Con again.

"Not that I don't appreciate you saying all this—I do—but, umm, where exactly is this coming from?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Perspective or some shit. I just realized that even though I've been trying to be better, I think all I've done is push those instincts so far down that they come out at even worse times. Like around team owners."

Knox scowls. "Is Parker giving you more trouble? To think I was ever nice to that guy."

"He's the reason you got your job with the NHLOA, and you only hate him because Connor thought he was hitting on me when all he was doing was talking to me."

"Wait, he's the reason I got the job? You didn't tell me that."

"So sorry I forgot that whole conversation as soon as Connor shoved our team owner into a locker. For the second time in his life. It's what we were actually talking about. He said you were nice to him and knew you were wanting to get into the NHLOA, so he put your name forward. Then Connor?—"

Connor holds up his hand. "Can we please not talk about what I did again? I know what I did. And this is my point. Douche won't let one of us trade because he's determined to make my life a living hell, but I can give you more space. I'm moving out."

Panic isn't the right reaction here because it would make a great solution, but if Connor moves, Knox will go with him, and then he won't be right next door when we're both in the same state.

"When?" Knox asks.

"Immediately."

Fuck. I'm about to say he can't when he keeps talking .

"I saw the place today, and I'm going to buy it. You should see it. It's got high ceilings, a great view, and?—"

"And what about this place?" Knox asks.

"The lease is up in January. You're more than welcome to stay until then or move in with me at my new place."

"Or you could move in with me," I say, excitement hitting me at the thought.

Knox's head spins so fast I worry he's pulled a neck muscle. "You want me to move in here?"

"Only if you want to. We barely see each other as it is. I think it would be nice to come home to you. Or you come home to me."

"Is it too soon?"

"Too soon?" Connor butts in. "You practically live here already. Whenever we're home, you're always over here. What difference would it make if you waited for Easton in this living room or ours?"

Knox nods. "True."

I step closer to him and wrap my arms around his back. "Move in with me," I say, firmer and more confident this time.

The smile I'd been waiting to see since the moment I stepped foot in here today finally makes an appearance. It's his genuine one. The one where I know whatever he's thinking about makes him happy.

I should know because it matches mine when he says, "Yes."