40 Prince and Princess

Lily

Her phone buzzed.

Big Guy: Hey, princess, I’ve missed you. So much. I’m just getting back, and I’m going to grab a change of clothes and a sponge bath in my office, and I have to do a quick report, but then I’ll be right up.

Big Guy: Wait. Did you change my name???

Lily half leaped out of her chair, but forced herself back down, resting her free hand at the base of her throat to steady herself. He was back and, most importantly, back safe. The mission must have gone well if he was chipper enough to ask about his contact name.

Princess: Yeah, it was between Big Guy and His Royal HighnAss.

Big Guy: Ah, fair. Though, also in the spirit of fairness, my ass looks pretty great in armor, so it’s not like you would have been wrong either way.

Lily chuckled, then took a deep breath, thumbs hovering over the screen. The rush of courage fizzled slightly, and she set her phone down, scrubbing her damp palms over her leggings.

File. She needed her file for this.

She’d have to run home first to get—

Something landed on her lap. Her file had a slightly more purple hue to it than she remembered, but the metallic letters of her name glimmered with the same colorful sheen. She’d tucked it onto a shelf in her library soon after her arrival in Paradise and hadn’t really thought of it since.

Good to know she could summon it.

I want and need to do this. I just wish I wasn’t so chicken shit scared about it.

She swallowed hard. Then reached for her phone.

Princess: Are you in the mood for a personal conversation in your office?

The dots by Bel’s name popped up and disappeared, popped up then disappeared. She wanted to throw up.

Big Guy: With you, princess, always.

Her hands were shaking.

Princess: Be rihgt diwm

Princess: Duck. Be right down.

Princess: F u c k

Big Guy: Ok

Lily waved an arm to get Moura’s attention.

“What’s up?” Moura called.

“I need to step away for a bit. There’s something I need to do.”

“Sure thing.”

Lily stood on unsteady legs, gripped her file so hard her knuckles turned white, and headed for the elevator. She barely registered the ride down and the walk to his office. There were other people on the stairs, but she didn’t really see them. One of them might have even said something to her.

Suddenly, she stood in front of his door, the silly sticky note from her first visit still stuck to the wood, held in place by tape after the stickiness had failed.

Seize the ass.

What better advice to take than her own? She knocked twice, not waiting for an answer before opening it and trying to walk casually inside. Bel sat behind his massive desk, looking up with a smile, then freezing, his gaze darting over her face.

Shit.

His expression went carefully neutral, and he set down his pen with slow precision.

She kept moving, one step at a time, knees shaking like they were made of marshmallow. As she climbed the steps onto the dais and moved around his desk, she wondered if she was about to spontaneously develop a heartbeat just so that it could pound out of her chest. Or explode.

“No,” he said mildly.

Lily paused mid-step as she rounded his desk. “No?”

“If you’re here to break up with me, the answer is no. Obviously, if that’s what you really want, I’ll respect it, but not without a damn good reason. Lucifer said that you’ve been quiet while I was gone, and your last few texts have been unlike you. Then you asked for a ‘personal conversation’ and—”

She heard the little tremor in his voice towards the end of his speech, saw the tension humming off of him like a wire strung too tight.

“Honestly, Lily, if I dumped too much on you at the party, or if you feel like we’re moving too fast, we’ll slow down. We can figure it out, but I want us to try. Please, just—”

“I love you.”

It was the “please” that had pushed through her fear. Her whole body might have been shaking, but her voice was steady.

Bel stopped breathing, eyes flying wide, body going so still he might as well have been carved from stone. His mouth opened and Lily rushed on.

“I love you. That’s what I admitted to myself in the meadow.” Her voice had lost its steadiness, but fuck it. She took the last few steps to stand beside him. “I’ve been in love with you for a while, Bel, and I was just too scared to own it. You feel more right to me than anyone ever has. And I still don’t have everything figured out, but I realized that there was something I needed to do. We’ve been imbalanced. I haven’t been as open with you as you’ve been with me. I haven’t been as vulnerable, or as brave. This, the Afterlife, is your home. I get to share this piece of your life and meet your family, but you don’t get to do that with me.”

She held up the file, clearing her throat. “I haven’t always been who I am now. The person in this file is very different than the person you know now, but I want you to know my story, because I trust you with it. You’re the only person I trust with all of it.” She gave him a shaky smile that didn’t last as she looked down at the file clenched in her hand, fighting the sting of tears. “And…and it’s fine if you decide that it’s—that I’m —too much after you see it. Really, it’s okay. I’ll be okay. But I want you to know.” The first hot tear streaked down her cheek, her voice wobbling.

Before she could hold the file out to him, Bel pivoted and pulled her forward into his lap, straddling him. He held her tightly, hands splayed wide over her back, pressing her closer, molding their bodies together so there wasn’t even a whisper of space between them. He pressed his face into the curve of her neck, his ragged breathing fanning over her hypersensitive skin. Lily gripped him, fingers digging into his back in a way that had to be painful, but he only held her closer.

He pulled back just enough to meet her gaze while one clawed finger gently wiped away the tears lingering on her cheek. A well of emotion lay in his glorious silver eyes, and for once she wasn’t afraid of drowning in it.

“I love you,” Bel said.

She opened her mouth to tell him that he might want to look at the file first, but he pushed her jaw closed with tender firmness, his gaze unwavering.

“I love you,” he said more intensely. “Nothing in that file will make me love you less. Nothing. You got to meet my family, hear some stories about how I was as a kid, but you didn’t get to watch the entirety of my life. You best believe that I was a little shithead, princess. There are parts of my life that I’m not too proud of either. None of that matters. I. Love. You. Now. I love who you are, and who you’re becoming.” His smile dimmed slightly, and he dropped his gaze to watch his thumb trace her lower lip. Heat sparked low in her belly, but she tamped it down.

Not yet.

His eyes met hers again, and the flare of pain in them had her sweeping her hands over the satiny skin of his neck and over his broad shoulders, offering what comfort she could without words.

He cleared his throat. “I haven’t let you in entirely either.”

Bel

Lily had his heart. Completely and utterly.

She’d looked like a woman walking the plank when she’d stepped into his office, and icy dread had doused his skin at the thought of her ending them before they had a chance. But then she’d inflamed him and brought him to his knees with three words.

I love you.

Said with surety and simplicity and conviction. With light in her glorious eyes, even though she’d clearly been terrified to say it.

He refused to allow her to be vulnerable alone. He wasn’t afraid of telling Lily that he loved her; it was the highest honor of his life to do so. But he was afraid of telling the story and the secret he’d held on to for so long. He looked at Lily, his princess, watching him with patience and understanding and love , and knew he finally had the courage to do it.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed the lack of a father in my life,” he started roughly, holding her gaze like the lifeline that it was.

She nodded, tracing the point of his ear and smoothing her hand down the side of his neck. A balm to his soul.

He leaned into the touch. “My father was Samael, one of the first beings made in the early days of the Universe and the Afterlife, before even the mortals existed. After the dawn of mortals, he was one of the first to believe in Lucifer’s idea for the creation of a realm of justice and punishment. He’d seen what some mortals were capable of, and it didn’t sit well with him that they all were granted the peace and privileges of what is now known as Paradise.”

He traced a line over her shoulder blade. “This is what led to the early wars between realms. They weren’t as long-lived as mortal religions might think, or true to how they’ve been portrayed in the mortal world. My father was never an angel, let alone a fallen one. Lucifer established Hell, and the Universe made him a deity, binding his essence to it and granting him additional power. My father was one of the first princes of Hell because he helped Lucifer set it all up and create the system.

“By the time he and my mom got together, he was old . So is my mom, but my dad was ancient. I loved my dad. He was my hero. He trained me, then trained with me, taught me to fly… He could be gruff with people, but never with me. Never with any of us kids. His younger sister, Agrat, was always over with Asmodeus so we could play together. Those days were fun. Dad was quiet but seemed happy. I never guessed…

“I was about a century old, the equivalent of a mortal in their early twenties, I suppose, and rising through the ranks of command, when Dad came to see me. He’d been kind of distant for years, especially after a short-lived but nasty conflict with another Universe, so I thought that him coming to train with me meant that he was getting better. He had me over for dinner—he loved cooking, he’s the one who got Asmodeus into it—and we had a great time just swapping stories, talking about shit I got up to as a kid, talking about life. The whole time, he was happier and more peaceful than I’d ever seen him. He seemed lighter . Then, when we were winding down, he handed me an envelope and told me not to read it until I needed it.

“I had no idea what he was talking about. I thought there must be another war or skirmish firing up, but then he…then he just said, ‘It’s time.’ Said he loved me more than I could imagine, that I was the best thing that had happened in his life, but that he was tired and it was time for him to find his peace in the Void. To us, going to the Void isn’t like suicide is for the mortals. I suppose it’s similar to dying of old age in your bed. Voluntarily. If we have to go, the Void is the best way.”

His cheeks were wet, heart throwing itself against his ribs. He hadn’t told the story to anyone in its entirety. Ever. Not his mother, his siblings, his cousins, any of his friends. No one knew.

He focused on Lily. The way she felt in his lap, her scent, the warm press of her hands as they moved over him, the softness in her teary eyes revealing that big heart she tried to keep hidden.

“I walked with him,” he choked out. “Hugged him, wished him peace, and watched him walk into the Void. He was happy , Lily, and it shattered me because…I still wanted my dad. I wanted him happy, but I also wanted him to be here. He was supposed to be here. He said I was the best thing in his life, yet I wasn’t enough to hold him here, for us to have more time. Almost everyone I know gets so much more time. I know I could have lost him to war, but that feels different, even though it shouldn’t, even though I know the Void is our eventuality. I loved him, I still love him, still miss him, but sometimes I hate him for that, even if he felt like he had to go. I got back home and told my family, told everyone, that he was gone.

“My dad, meticulous to the end, had made provisions for his passing with Lucifer, and suddenly I was a prince. At least once the leaders of the legions convened and elected me to take my father’s place as general, I had experience for that. I’d trained my entire life, and I’d been to war. I’d earned that. My father was one of the first princes. He earned that title. But then there I was, with a title and a crown that didn’t feel like my own, mourning my dad and wondering why I was so easy to leave behind.

“So I threw myself into work, avoided the royal horseshit as much as I could, and tried to patch up the wound he’d left without letting too many people realize how fragile I felt. I’m not the fragile one. I’m the dependable one, when I need to be. And I did that for years. Centuries. I was happy enough for a while, but it all started to feel hollow, like a lie. The more battles I fought, the more of my soldiers and friends died or were savaged by some monster or other, the more…I understood my dad. He’d had experiences worse than anything I’ve ever seen, and he might have loved my mom in his way, and loved me, but he never really let people in, or let people close enough to help. Sometimes I’m tired , Lils, but that’s when I go hang out with Greg, or Azzy, or Angel, just…anyone.”

He smiled at her then, holding her a little tighter.

“I thought I was patching it well enough until Lucifer, king of Hell and matchmaker extraordinaire, apparently, came into my office one day spewing some crap about how he’d left a blade in the armory by the gate and needed me specifically to identify it. Then I saw you, met you in person, and realized that this voice I’d been crushing on for a month was going to be more to me than just a crush. I think I fell in love with you when you came here to share the apology pie I got from Greg and made me feel more seen than I ever have before. You’re everything to me, Lily. And I never wanted to tell you any of this, because…” He steeled himself for the final stretch of his confession that had been a long time coming.

Lily’s soft voice was full of understanding. “Because you didn’t want to guilt me into staying.”

Bel nodded slowly, cradling her beautiful face with both of his hands. “ If you chose to stay, I wanted it to be because it was what you really, truly wanted, not out of some misplaced sense of pity or guilt. If you go, I want you to go with a clear conscience. That opinion still stands.” He ran his thumbs over the curve of her cheeks. “I will savor whatever time I get with you, and I will never ask you for more than you’re willing to give. I came into this decided about that. I’ll love and support you either way.”

Lily’s smile was watery. He wiped away her tears, memorizing the fine details of her face. If he lived twice as long as his father did, he would never forget this woman.

“I’m sorry,” Lily whispered, pressing a kiss to his palm, covering his hand with her own. “I’m sorry that you’ve ever felt unworthy. You’re not, Bel. I already told you, you’re more than enough.”

She leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. His eyes drifted shut. A weight he hadn’t realized he carried lifted off his shoulders for the first time since his father had gone to the Void. Marveling at the sensation, he held her closer. He didn’t know what Paradise felt like for the souls, but he imagined it was a bit like coming home after a long day. Even Paradise at its finest couldn’t hope to compare with loving and being loved in return by Lily, holding her close in his office after they’d offered up the most vulnerable parts of themselves.

They stayed that way for a long while, sharing each other’s air, holding each other close, settling into the peace that they’d found in each other.

Eventually, Lily’s hands came up to his face and she sat back, eyes filled with so much love and passion that, if he hadn’t already been sitting down, he would have ended up on his ass.

“I love you, Prince Beleth,” she said quietly. Firmly. She brushed a kiss over his temple. “General.” His hands tightened on her back as she feathered a kiss on the bridge of his nose. “Bel.” She kissed the curve of his jaw. “FruitBat.” He could hear the smile in her voice as her lips pressed to his cheek.

He smiled too, sparks shooting through his veins as the turbulent emotions settled into a new and better current.

She met his eyes, lips so close he could practically taste them. “Big guy.” She leaned in to kiss him fully, but he stopped her with a gentle hand grasping her throat, just as his princess liked.

His nose brushed hers. “Yours,” he rumbled.

Her eyes flared with some of that fire he loved more than his own life. “Mine,” she said reverently. He tugged her closer, reveling in the sweet press of her lips.

Bel kept the kiss slow, languorous. It felt like a beginning. Of what? He had no fucking idea, but as long as it was with Lily, he didn’t care.

He felt her smile. Then she nipped at his lip, and his hold on restraint snapped.

“Love you,” he growled, before taking her mouth again with none of the softness of before. He was rewarded with a gasp and her kissing him back just as fiercely. Her hands slipped under the collar of his shirt, raking over his back, sending his hips grinding up against hers. She pressed herself against him, rolling her hips against his erection in a way that had him seeing stars.

“I wanted,” he panted in between kisses, “to take you to bed properly.”

“ Beleth. If this is delayed again, I will lose my fucking mind,” Lily said, kissing down his neck.

He threw his head back with a groan that turned into a growl when she raked his skin lightly with her blunt little teeth.

“I love you. You love me. You can fuck me properly on the desk, the couch, or the fucking floor, but you’re going to do it now. You can take me to a bed properly later, okay?”

Bel couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face, primal heat and desire ripping through him like a wildfire. He pulled her back, gripping her jaw just firmly enough to hold her in place. He hadn’t missed the way her eyes always went molten when he was just a little bit rough.

“What about making love to you on the desk?” he asked, teasing her with little brushes of his lips.

She tried to chase after him to kiss him properly, but he held her in place. The heat of her body seared through her leggings and the front of his pants, and he nearly came on the spot.

Her slow, wicked smile had him falling in love with her all over again.

Lily

Lily wiggled off of him, bracing her hand on the desk for balance. Something warm buzzed under her palm, the sensation odd enough that it drew her attention away from him.

Her file.

She froze.

Shit. Bel had, once again, bared his soul, and while she’d handed him the entirety of her being, he still didn’t know. She still hadn’t really been vulnerable in turn. She loved him, he loved her, but they were still unequal—

He gripped her chin gently, pulling her gaze back to him while his other hand tugged her file out from under her palm. “I may not know what exactly is going on in that pretty head of yours, but I think I have a good idea. This”—he held her file up—“is important because you are important. But it doesn’t define you, and it’s not going to change a damn thing about how I feel. I will look at this, with you, later. But because it’s not going to change anything”—he set it on the far edge of the desk, well away from them—“it can wait. Vulnerability isn’t a race, it’s a conversation. I said my piece, and we’re going to celebrate that, then it’ll be your turn, and we’ll celebrate that too, yeah?”

Emotion clogged her throat. Love, joy, relief, trust…peace. The ripples on the pond of her soul settling.

She cupped his handsome face and nodded, kissing him long and slow, then with more heat.

“Stay,” she purred, sauntering towards the door.

Bel

Everything in him roared to chase her, catch her, grab her around that pretty little waist and bury himself so deeply that they both forgot their names. But the princess had given an order, and he would obey it.

For now.

He wanted to see what that lovely, filthy mind of hers had come up with.

She grinned at him over her shoulder, reaching for the handle. He gripped the armrests of his chair so hard they creaked.

She flipped the lock with a quiet snick that he felt in his bones.