36 Friend Shaped

Lily

As the elevator slid downwards, Lily glanced at Sharkie for the dozenth time since they’d left the house.

Something in her had shifted after the night she’d crept into Lily’s room and finally voiced her fears. She carried herself with a bit more confidence, her eyes were brighter, and her smiles came quickly and lingered. Every moment of bravery and indicator of progress had pride and love swelling in Lily’s chest.

Sharkie had even fallen asleep while Lily had read to her and Bel in the library a few days before. Lily had read more than a third of the book by the time darkness had fallen and the temptation of sleep had been too much to resist. Bel had, unsurprisingly, fallen asleep first. She’d just kept reading and running her fingers through his hair. Sharkie had lasted a bit longer, her head resting on Lily’s shoulder more and more firmly until Lily heard the first soul-warming little snore.

The next morning, they’d all made Swedish pancakes and sat in the garden to eat. Bel had settled a wing against Lily’s back, and Sharkie had sat between them while they’d watched a flock of birds as it twisted and turned over the hills and fjord.

Happy.

But back to Sharkie.

“Sharkie, I think you’re taller,” Lily said finally, adjusting her grip on the handle of the little cart they’d packed with food to bring to Bel’s family get-together.

“What?” Sharkie squinted up at her.

“I think you’re growing.”

“I can do that?”

“Yeah, remember?” Lily chuckled, though she’d recently texted Siedah a barrage of questions to clarify. “We talked about this, and Siedah confirmed it. I think your ‘growing up’ is happening.”

Sharkie pumped both fists in the air, shouting, “FINALLY!” just as the elevator doors slid open. Sharkie bounced with puppy-like enthusiasm as they headed down the short hall to the gate, her hood flopping back.

“Moura!” she yelled, breaking away from Lily’s side to sprint towards the demons and the line of souls. “Krun! Guys! I’m growing !”

The resulting cheer from every single demon wouldn’t have sounded out of place in a sports stadium. Someone—Krun, probably, based on the height—had Sharkie held over his head, while the demons whooped and stomped their feet with such enthusiasm that Lily could have sworn the pens on her desk rattled. She tucked the cart behind the low wall—knowing better than to leave it in the breakroom—and walked over to join the celebration.

Sharkie was being tossed from demon to demon, laughing hysterically.

Lily’s grin died when she spied a soul trying to sneak off in her direction. She stepped in front of the soul, a reedy-looking man with a hat pulled low over his brows, crossing her arms.

“I don’t think so.” She kept her tone and expression cool, silently daring the soul to be stupid.

The man gawked at her, glancing back at the celebrating demons, his confusion melting into anger. “Help me out here. We’re the same,” he hissed.

Something appeared between her crossed arms and her body. His file. Images and memories flickered across her mind.

“I think the fuck not. I certainly never beat my wife or children. Get your ass down to Level Four or it will get got for you.” She kept her tone and expression frigid, silently daring the soul to be stupid.

Something flickered in his eyes. The rage and fear she expected, but the shame, guilt, and regret she did not.

Memories flickered from the file. He had been beaten before, for most of his childhood, and by most of his family—his parents, his older siblings, his grandfather.

A violent cycle. One he’d never brought himself to face, but only continued.

“You’re a real bitch, you know that?” he said, but she could hear the faintest tremor in it.

“On a good day, there’s no one who can do it better.” She pointed towards the tunnels. “Level Four. Move. And here’s some advice: If you want to live again, the work is up to you. Face the consequences and learn, instead of trying to avoid them.”

He stomped back towards the line of souls. Lily snapped her fingers and pointed at another soul—a woman in an immaculately tailored, entirely beige outfit—as she scurried towards the employee hallway. “You too, BeigeWatch.”

The woman stopped in her tracks, mouth falling open in protest.

“Does any part of my expression look like I’m open to excuses? You don’t have to run in slow motion, but you do have to get back in line and go where you’re told.”

The woman huffed but turned around.

“Heeeyy, sexy,” a male voice crooned with entirely too much confidence, just as another file appeared in her hand.

“You thought it was funny to kick animals and take naked pictures of unsuspecting girls through their windows and sell them on your website. You ruined lives with that shit, and you just kept doing it. I will send you to Level Five with no balls or penis.”

The weight room wonder stared at her as if she was an alien.

“Fuck around and find out, dickless.” Lily let her hand drop to the hilt of the short sword Bel had given her. She’d taken to wearing it after hearing about the soldiers he’d lost. The threat loomed large in her mind, and some instinct, probably a holdover of preservation from being mortal, had her buckling the sword belt around her waist before she left the house. It looked slightly out of place paired with her leggings and fitted black T-shirt, but honestly, it felt right. Even if she had theoretical knowledge about how to use it at best, despite training with Bel in the afternoons. Enthusiasm and a vicious cutting edge seemed to make up for a lot though, especially against souls who fought with more audacity than brains or skill.

The soul flipped her off, spitting some choice insults as he went back to the line. Lily rolled her eyes.

The demons had put Sharkie down, and even though the general spirit of celebration persisted, most of them had returned to the business of making sure the souls got where they were supposed to go.

Sharkie skipped over to Lily with a grin that could outshine the sun. “I wonder how tall I’m going to be!”

“It’s going to be cool to find out! Do you want to keep track of how much you’re growing? Like on a wall?”

“YES!” Sharkie leaped clear of the ground. “Can we do it in the breakroom so everyone can see?”

“Sure! Let’s get your first measurement real quick before you go to school.”

Sharkie practically sprinted to the breakroom, then back to Lily, then back to the breakroom, urging Lily to walk faster . Eventually, Lily found herself being towed by the hand and laughing so hard she nearly tripped. It was the work of a moment to find a pencil and a book. While Lily had found those, Sharkie had selected the empty expanse of wall by the water cooler.

“This way,” Sharkie explained, standing perfectly still while Lily made sure the book was level, “everyone can see it when they get their water.”

Lily made the mark and Sharkie stepped away, turning to beam at the wall.

Lily handed her the pencil. “Here, sign it. No dates to worry about.”

Sharkie stuck her tongue out with concentration, signing Sharkie with only slightly wobbly letters and adding a smiley face at the end. Lily draped an arm around her shoulders, every bit as proud of Sharkie as she seemed of herself.

“Do you think I’ll be as tall as you?”

“Maybe. I was small for my age until I got to middle school, then I grew like nobody’s business. And kept growing, always faster than my friends.”

Flickers of a night she’d rather forget. Crying. Hating herself. Blaming herself for—

Lily blinked away the unbidden burst of memory, setting it aside to process later. She hadn’t replayed that night in a long, long time, and didn’t want to start now.

“Do you like being tall?” Sharkie asked.

“It has pros and cons. It’s different in the Afterlife too. I never felt short in the mortal world, but ever since I started spending time with the demons? I’m getting used to feeling small, but it’s still a fairly new thing for me. Well, in my most recent memories anyway. Pretty sure I was small in at least one of my lifetimes.”

“Really? How did you feel about being small?”

The memories were hazy, with a slippery, dreamlike quality.

“Well,” Lily said slowly, fighting to piece together cohesive information, “my first lifetime, I was a bit like you, actually. Only I’m pretty sure it was a long time ago, like, hundreds of years?”

The answering thought didn’t quite feel like her own, but the information registered as accurate.

“Mid fifteen-hundreds, I think?”

North, rain, wind, cold, green, rough skirts, a tired mother who loved them, other children, hungry, a man’s laughter, snow, cold, so cold.

“I was little when I died, probably six or seven? Froze to death, I think. It was winter and I got lost maybe? So ‘kid small,’ I remember. Being a short adult? I think I was a bit below average in the lifetime before this one, and it wasn’t too bad.”

As memories trickled, Lily frowned. Being short-ish hadn’t been bad, but almost everything else had been. Glimmers of happiness shot through with pain and fear and so, so much hunger.

How the fuck was her happiest lifetime the one where she died young of cancer? How was the runner up for that title the one where she was wrongly burned as a witch and had a husband who tolerated but didn’t love her?

And she still wanted to go back?

Did she? Of course she did. Eventually. Right?

“Lily?” Sharkie’s voice pulled her out of her reverie.

“Sorry, kiddo, got lost in thought there for a second. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see how tall you get, and then you can see for yourself. Now come on, let’s get you to school.”

“And then we go to the party!” Sharkie wiggled with excitement. “Do you think I’ll be taller by then?”

“I’ve never grown in the Afterlife, so it’s up to you to find out. Don’t be disappointed if you’re not though, okay? Just because you don’t noticeably grow today doesn’t mean you’re not growing at all.”

“Right,” Sharkie said, adjusting the straps of her backpack and following her out the door.

A quick elevator ride, a short distance that, admittedly, they ended up running to make sure Sharkie arrived on time, a quick hug goodbye, and Sharkie was off to learn new things.

Lily headed back to the elevator quietly, turning things over in her mind.

I want to go back. Do I want to go back?

I want… What do I want?

The sweet memory of the three of them resting together on the window bed, the sun illuminating the pages, Bel’s breath heating her skin, and Sharkie’s warmth curled around her side felt like an answer.

But she’d never had the opportunity to grow old, and…she wanted to. What it would be like to laugh over her first gray hair, to see her face settle into age, instead of just starting to show the hints of it? She knew that aging wasn’t for the faint of heart, that it could be frustrating and painful and scary to have your body fail. To worry about balance and falls. To say goodbye to more and more people.

What would she be gaining, really? There was no way to say that her next life would end better than any of her previous ones. She’d found peace in the Afterlife. Love, in various forms. Fulfillment. She liked waking up in the morning, was excited to get out of bed and see what the Afterlife had to offer, to see what Sharkie-isms would make her laugh.

And Bel.

Just Bel.

He was a friend, a confidant, a partner. Just being around Bel made existence better. Sex or no sex.

Though, she certainly couldn’t wait for sex. The fact that she hadn’t gotten to ride him senseless yet was like an itch under her skin. Like romantic idiots, they’d agreed that they didn’t want their first time to be a stolen quickie in some closet. But between the tolls of his work, her obligations, and Sharkie’s interruptions, stolen moments were all they’d been getting lately.

Though she knew that Persephone would happily arrange another sleepover, or that Sharkie could stay a night with Lucifer, who often picked her up after school and spent time with her before dropping her off at the elevators, Lily had found herself protective of Sharkie after her most recent breakthrough. Sharkie’s idea of their family and trust in Lily’s dependability was a new, fragile thing, and she didn’t want to risk it just yet.

She headed towards the Hellp Desk, a line of souls waiting mostly patiently. She held up a finger to silence the first woman in line, who had sucked in a breath to start yelling the second Lily neared the desk.

Lily sat. Meticulously adjusted her chair. Reached for the file and flipped it open, running her finger over the first page.

“Given your history of mistreating service workers, especially your delivery drivers, in addition to your outspoken—and super fucking wrong—belief that Indigenous people are inferior to your bitchy ass, I’m guessing that you’re about to yell at me and somehow manage to relay your racism while you do it.”

The woman turned a fascinatingly mottled shade of purple and sputtered for a moment before screeching obscenities at a pitch that set the Hellhounds howling.

* * *

Bel was waiting for her when the elevator doors slid open, looking casual and delicious in his usual pants and a T-shirt with hacked-off sleeves.

He held up a hand to stop her before she could exit, glanced both ways and stepped into the elevator, pushing the button to close the doors.

“What—”

He lifted her with ease, pressed her back against the paneled wall, and kissed her, long and hard and hungry.

Hello, stolen moment.

She hooked her legs over his hips while she fisted his hair with one hand. He growled against her mouth. In retaliation, she tugged his hair, hard, and his head fell back. She kissed and sucked along the column of his neck, careful not to leave any marks—this time—all while keeping a commanding grip on his hair.

“That kind of day, huh?” he asked with breathless excitement, hand skating up her side to cradle a breast.

“Mm.” She took his earlobe between her teeth, and he groaned.

“ Princess.”

She let him tip his head down slightly, scant inches separating their lips. The silver of his eyes gleamed.

He pulled against her anchoring hold on his hair. “Let me kiss you.”

“Say please.” She grinned, teasing herself as much as him. She gave the barest roll of her hips, grinding into him.

He hissed, and she clenched around nothing.

“Please,” he breathed, eyes going hooded, pressing her even more firmly against the wall. “ Please let me kiss you, sweetheart. Let me have just a taste—”

She silenced him with her mouth, releasing his hair. He slipped his tongue along the seam of her lips, and, when she moaned, he pinned her harder to the wall, devouring her in a searing kiss. He shifted the smallest bit away from the wall, settled his hands on her ass, and—

The elevator door slid open.

With a speed born of plenty of recent practice, they disengaged. She dropped her legs from his hips at the same time he set her down, turning to face their audience.

The older male demon stared in surprise over the potted plant in his hands. After a moment, he smiled knowingly at both of them, then reached inside, pressed the “door close” button, and stepped back with a wink. The doors slid shut again, leaving them alone inside.

“Shit,” Bel muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah,” Lily said, still reeling with arousal.

She met Bel’s eyes, their heavy breaths filling the elevator as the pull between them grew tighter, like a rubber band stretched thin.

“He did give us more time,” she pointed out.

“He did,” Bel agreed, tipping her face up to his once more. The kiss shoved everything out of her mind except the sensations of his lips and tongue, his strong hands and warm skin. When he broke away to softly slide his fangs over the sensitive spot on her neck he’d discovered, she had to lock her knees to keep them from buckling with want. They had limited time, obligations to fulfill, and a family event to attend. But she wanted to scream that they needed a bedroom and at least half a day. Immediately.

“Bel.” She wasn’t sure if it was a groan or a moan or some hybrid of both.

He rested his forehead against hers, his voice raspy as he murmured, “I know, princess. Right there with you.”

Lily wrapped her arms around his waist as they let the intensity of the heat fade, burying her face in his chest. He kissed the top of her head sweetly, the thud of his heartbeat against her ear reassuring in its steady rhythm.

For the hell of it, she bit him.

Gently. Ish.

He squeaked and stepped back, rubbing his pectoral.

Lily burst out laughing. “I’ve never heard that deep of a squeak before.”

The strain of a long day filled with more-bombastic-than-usual souls melted away, especially when Bel’s deep, rumbling chuckle filled the elevator.

“Spend some time with Cthulhu if you ever want to hear a super deep squeak out of something the size of an office building. He stepped on something squishy during a Hall party once, and my hearing wasn’t right for days.”

Lily giggled while she fixed her loose hair. Bel’s massive hands cupped her face a moment before his delectable lips landed on hers, tender this time. She hooked her fingers into his waistband and pulled him closer, smiling into the kiss. He nipped carefully at her lower lip before pulling away with a twinkle in his eyes.

“You bite me, I bite you back, princess.”

“Awesome, can I choose where?”

His eyes heated. “I’ll accept suggestions, but I make no promises.”

“Tease.”

He winked, pressing the “open” button and slipping his hand into hers, calluses rasping against her skin as their fingers twined together. Lily had never really held hands before—it was a gesture of intimacy that hookups didn’t tend to give each other—but it was honestly one of her favorite things they did together. She loved all of it, but the simple touch of their hands? Heady. Heady and delicious and so sweet she wondered if she deserved it half the time, but treasured it, nonetheless.

She grabbed the handle of her cart, and they walked towards Sharkie’s school at a relaxed pace, since she’d come down extra early. The distance was barely noticeable as they talked about their days and swung their linked hands between them. While they waited, Bel gave her another quick rundown of the people he knew would be present at the party—mother, her current and previous partners, his siblings, their spouses and partners, their children.

“And,” he added wryly as the first kids exited the school, “a bevy of cousins and some old family friends.”

“I’m guessing Asmodeus and Sariah will be there, then, especially if food is involved,” Lily said as the tide of kids rushed down the stairs.

Every shade of every color was on display, along with horns that were just starting to grow larger than nubs and take their various forms. She spied Sharkie immediately, and not just by virtue of the hard-to-miss onesie she still wore for comfort. She was almost a full head shorter than every other kid.

Bel seemed to be muffling laughter with his hand.

“What?” Lily asked, warmth suffusing her veins at the way his eyes had crinkled.

“I just…all I see is the fin on the top of her onesie moving through the crowd, like Jaws .”

Lily looked to where, sure enough, the most visible part of Sharkie was the floppy little fin weaving through the sea of moving kids. She bit her lip and let out a long, measured exhale through her nose.

Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh.

“See? It’s…” Bel’s voice wavered as he almost lost the battle to not laugh.

“Shit, pull it together,” Lily hissed, waving at Sharkie. “And don’t look at me, I’ll lose it.”

Sharkie dumped her backpack on the ground and threw herself at Bel, who lifted her as if she were weightless. “What’s so funny?” she asked.

“Oh, Bel just made a joke about the movie Jaws ,” Lily said.

Sharkie wrinkled her nose and frowned at Bel. “What’s funny about Jaws ? It’s not a very accurate movie, and actually it made a lot of people think sharks were bad and mean, when really, they don’t like to eat people, they just have bad eyesight and get confused.”

“Sharks and I had a lot more in common than I thought,” Lily muttered, picking up Sharkie’s abandoned backpack.

Both Bel and Sharkie gave her a puzzled look.

“People think you’re bad and mean?” Sharkie asked.

“You don’t like to eat people?” Bel asked innocently.

She cut Bel a heated look that made him cough awkwardly and shift on his feet—served him right—then turned to Sharkie. “That was a joke, by the way. No, in the mortal world, I had bad eyesight and got confused. Some people did think I was bad and mean though.”

“Because you’re tall.” Sharkie nodded sagely.

“Yeah, and the resting bitch face didn’t help.”

“Oh, is that why you two get along? Because people think you’re bad and mean but you’re not?” Sharkie’s face lit up in understanding.

Lily met Bel’s amused and considering gaze. They had so much else meaningfully in common that she’d never picked up on that similarity before.

“I think,” Bel said slowly, “we get along because we’re similar in other ways, and we like, or at least tolerate, the ways that we’re different. But it is nice to have someone see you for who you are, instead of who they think you should be. So, keep that in mind, okay?”

“Okay,” Sharkie said, then asked to be put down.

Lily handed her the backpack and gave her a quick hug. “Ready for a party?”

“I think so. Are you sure there will be other kids there?”

“If there’s one thing my family is good at doing, it’s making kids,” Bel said dryly.

Lily cut her reflexive sharp inhale short, praying Bel didn’t notice.

He didn’t seem to, as he continued speaking. “Don’t worry, there will be plenty of kids there for you to play with. Plus, you’re friend-shaped, so they’ll love you.”