Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Penelope Darling

G ood Christ, already?

It had to be too early for a bunch of brats to jump in the pool.

I cursed and folded the pillow over my head to drown out the noise. We'd clearly prioritized wrong when we'd built the cabins. We'd thought more about shelter from extreme weather and less about screams.

Kit and Noa were definitely here.

"Faster! Faster! You gotta win, Daddy!"

"Woot! Go again!"

I gnashed my teeth, kicked off the covers, and shoved away the pillow. Then I grabbed my phone and squinted at the screen.

Nine thirty-four.

Fuck my life. Did these brats not know the meaning of sleeping in?

At the sound of laughter and goading from KC and Colt, I added them to my shit list too. Unfortunately, I couldn't count on Lucian in these matters because he was an early riser, but River? Where was he? How could he sleep through all this?

As if the ruckus wasn't enough, someone put on music, and then we had Lady Gaga blaring out about a bad romance.

I give up.

I cursed and scrambled out of bed, only to come face-to-face with the mess of my cabin. Furniture in its boxes everywhere, bed frame leaning against the wall—I had a lot to assemble next week.

After gathering my hair in a haphazard bun at the top of my head, I stepped into a clean pair of panties, and I dug a snug tee out from a duffel. One of the things still boxed up was my new coffeemaker, so I had to go up to the main house for a caffeine fix.

On second thought, I took off my panties again and went with my bikini bottoms. Might as well. After the event planning, I was going to need a sunny nap before the party.

I made quick work of freshening up in my tiny bathroom under the stairs, and then I slipped into my flip-flops and walked out of the cabin. I was met by harsh sunlight and way too many brats. And my cabin was closer to the woods than the pool. River, Reese, and Shay's cabin was right across from the pool, so it seemed even less likely that River was asleep.

Dean, Santiago, and Gael have arrived, I see.

"Every single time!" I heard Noa guffaw. Cameron was leaving their cabin, and Noa ran toward him. "You gotta see this, babe! Mister Colt and Mister Ty finish at the same second every race! And Daddy won!"

"Hrmph." I took in the surroundings, spying KC, Ty, Colt, Santiago, Gael, and Kit in the pool. Reese must've finished his morning swim; he was eating breakfast in the shade. Lucian and Dean were reading the paper on the deck, and… August King and his two partners had arrived too. Anthony and Camden were getting ready to jump in the water.

What on earth?

Nora.

Still too damn beautiful for my comfort.

I held a hand over my eyes to shield them from the sun. Lane, Shay, and Nora were busy at a table that was packed with something . At first, I thought it was regular rollaboard luggage, but the cases were open to reveal plastic organizers with countless little compartments. Had someone bought an entire crafts supply store?

As one pop song morphed into another, I started trailing up the lawn and zeroed in on the breakfast setup on the deck. And not on Nora. Not on Nora at all.

Goddamn her.

Last night, my resolve had shattered faster than KC's eardrums when Noa got excited.

The worst part was, I shouldn't be leading the girl on if I couldn't offer what she wanted.

Her damn smile, though. I couldn't see exactly what she, Lane, and Shay were doing over there, but whatever it was, they wore matching smiles that spoke of a good morning. They chatted in between moments of sheer concentration. The closer I got, the more I could see, and were those beads? They were putting something on what looked like thread or wire, at least.

"Morning, Mistress Penelope!" Kit yelled from the pool.

"Good morning, Ma'am!" Noa waved happily. "Kit and I set your breakfast order on the upper corner of the table so no one would steal it, 'cause we're always good boys!"

Crap. Those little shits always made me crack a smile.

"That's sweet of you, boys," I answered.

Lucian lowered his paper and nodded hello. Like Greer, Lucian had requests about the TPE event. I was sure Dean did too. Eager bastards.

Reese crammed half a croissant into his mouth and jerked his chin for me to come over to his lounger.

"How do you maintain those abs with freaking croissants?" I had to ask. Because if I looked at white bread, I gained three pounds.

He brushed some croissant flakes off his chest. "Hon, you maintain your brain with croissants. The abs get broccoli."

I snorted softly and sat down on the edge of his lounger.

He nodded toward the deck. "You missed the funniest thing earlier. So King and Anthony showed up with their Little, right? And Camden brought a whole fuckin' Michaels with him." As he spoke, I glanced across the pool to where Lane, Shay, and Nora were busy. "First half hour, it was Noa, Kit, Gael, and Camden messin' around to make Easter presents for their Owners. And those three—Shay, Lane, and Nora…? They were all, uh, craftin's for kids and Littles. But look at 'em now."

I grinned. That was precious. The Littles were nowhere to be seen around the crafts table.

I glanced back at Reese. "You and River were cute before, but you've leveled up since Shay claimed your asses."

"I know, right?" He leaned back and folded an arm behind his head. "I'm so fucking cute I don't know what to do with myself sometimes."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. Reese was full of charming lines that I was going to send directly to a certain account on our forum. It'd opened up the other day, and I had a feeling it was going to be the next big buzz in terms of who was behind it.

"You got a little cute yourself last night," Reese noted. "Hard to resist the new girl, huh? Been a while since I saw you flirt."

Fuck. "Don't get me started." I rose to my feet again, needing that coffee. ASAP.

Besides, flirt was a strong word. I'd just…soaked up Nora's attention like some deprived bitch, and then I'd thrown myself at her.

I looked over at her, and Lane and Shay glanced our way at the same time.

"Are you talking about us?" Shay hollered.

"Never you fuckin' mind!" Reese hollered back.

"They're talking about us," Lane concluded.

Shay furrowed his brow. "For the record, everyone can do this." He held up whatever he was working on.

"Yeah," Lane agreed. "We're primal and badass?—"

"Scary," Shay added.

"Downright twisted," Nora supplied. "But also, we make cute things."

"Cute in a terrifying way," Lane finished.

Reese and I weren't the only ones who cracked up at that. Oh, those sweet little brats. Colt and KC were quick to push their buttons, and Lucian assured the scary, twisted, badass primals that he was already petrified by their mere presence.

Camden seemed inspired. "Daddy, I wanna do crafts again!"

"You've been in the water two minutes," Anthony chuckled.

I was looking forward to getting to know them better. Starting with August—he was helping us plan the next Game in a few minutes. So I rounded the pool and grabbed my bagel order, and Cam hurriedly joined me to pour me a cup of coffee from the thermos.

"Thank you, sugar. How are you today?" I accepted the cup.

"Great, thank you, Ma'am. Master told me to make sure you were well tended to, so please let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

Oh Christ. I offered Cam a smile and squeezed his hand briefly, then sought out Lucian, only to find him watching us already.

"Will you stop fussing?" I asked. "I'm fine ."

"When I'm damn good and ready, my dear." He flipped the pages of his paper and then brought his own mug to his lips. "By the way, someone will be here on Monday to assemble your furniture for you."

For the love of?—!

He behaved as if I was dying! So I'd gone through a breakup—four fucking months ago—and…sure, maybe I was struggling to find myself, but he was taking this too far.

I knew Lucian wouldn't be reasoned with, though. He was still recovering from years of stress and burning himself out, so now he'd gotten the weird idea that if he had to rest, so did everybody else. Except his slave, I supposed. Although, that wasn't entirely fair. Cam had been vocal about Lucian's unwillingness to crank up their TPE structure. They were getting there, slowly, but Lucian was still in fussing mode.

I suppressed a sigh and turned back to Cam.

"I propose a compromise," I told him. "I'll let you wait on me so Lucian can calm his tits, and I'll come by your house next week with baked goods and my famous chili. Even Colt approves of it."

The boy lit up. "Deal. Thank you very much, Ma'am?—"

"I heard my name!" Colt called out.

Cam and I exchanged a smirk before I found Colt in the pool.

"Just bribing Cam here with my famous chili," I told him.

That had his interest, and he swam over to the edge. "Oh yeah? Can you bribe me with it too? My future husband keeps puttin' beans in his, so we might not make it."

I laughed and shook my head. "Where is he anyway?"

"I have beans!" Noa yelled, grabbing his crotch. "Magic beans!"

One more headshake. This one from Colt too.

"Get your beans over here, boy," KC ordered. "You can help me finish my workout."

Colt and I looked at each other again, and he said, "Luke's writin' his vows in the cabin."

Aw, that made me smile. "Have you finished yours?"

His forehead wrinkled. "I'm gonna wing it."

O…kay.

Well, I was sure they were going to be lovely either way. Colt had never struggled to find his words, that was for certain.

When he returned to challenge Ty in another race, I brought my breakfast over to the crafty brats, and I sat down next to Nora.

As much as I should probably maintain a safe distance, it seemed foolish after last night. If I avoided her, she might get hurt, and that was the last thing I wanted.

Not that I could claim I sat down here only for her sake…

"Morning, scary brats." I took a sip of my coffee and looked at what they were doing. Shay and Lane appeared to be making elastic bracelets with letter beads, and then I saw Camden at the head of the table doing the same thing. Nora too, only she was crafting a key ring with similar beads.

"Morning, Ma'am."

"Good morning, Mistress Penelope," Shay said, holding out the bracelet he was working on. "Is this gonna get me laid or what?"

I grinned and leaned forward, reading what the beads said. Shay's Daddy .

"That's sweet. Reese will gobble that up," I said.

He smirked, satisfied. "I made one for River earlier too."

"Look at mine, Ma'am!" Camden stood up, almost as short as Noa, and proudly showed me his bracelet with pastel-colored beads. "I borrowed the idea from Lane. D for Daddy, C for Camden, D for Daddy."

"Aw, I bet they'll love it," I said in my best Mommy voice. Which never felt natural, but I'd seen firsthand how the wrong tone of voice could deflate an excited Little.

Lane was more modest when he flashed the piece he was working on.

"SKD and WFB?" I tilted my head, confused.

Lane shrugged, his smile a bit sheepish. "Swamp King Daddy and Wild Fry Boy. He usually calls me darlin', but his latest nickname for me is wild fry, so…yeah."

Check out these sweeter-than-sugar terrors. Who wouldn't be terrified to face them in a dark alley?

Even though I was nowhere near being interested in Mommykink—or Daddykink, for that matter—I loved seeing Littles and Middles find their comfort zone out here.

"I foresee a lot of dopey Daddy smiles on your Owners' faces later," I predicted, turning to Nora next. "What about you, pet?"

I saw a faint blush creep forward on her cheeks, reminding me how deliciously flushed she'd been last night…

She shifted in her seat and slid a couple pieces closer to me. She'd used plain white beads with black letters, and the bracelet packed a punch with its simple word.

Servitude.

The key ring read "Prey."

Motherfucker. Who knew plastic beads could kick you in the teeth?

I didn't need this in my life. I didn't need to be exposed to things—to traits, to appearances, to kinks, to…to whatever the fuck—that made me wonder if… maybe … Maybe there was someone out there for me. Maybe there was someone closer than that.

Nora ticked too many boxes, and it rattled me.

I'd let things go too far last night, but even in knowing that, it wasn't going to stop me later today. I was already looking forward to buying her that drink after the party. I wanted to watch her today, see how she interacted with my friends and our community Tops who were going to assist in the kinky exploring.

I found a decent distraction when Jack arrived. With him here, the event planning could begin, and we opted to sit on the little porch outside Greer's cabin. It gave us some distance from nosy Masters who had just one more idea .

Unlike me, Greer had a slave who'd set up a nice seating area on their porch, so we took our seats around a low table that definitely got wiped down frequently—even the cushions looked like they were new. Reese had brought over a umbrella for us, seeing as this was gonna take a while, and I'd come prepared with notebooks, pens, the community planner, and?—

"Excuse me, Sirs and Ma'am? I have drinks for you!"

I looked over my shoulder and spotted Cam hurrying down the lawn with a cooler.

I narrowed my eyes. Lucian was watching way back on the deck.

"Ain't that sweet." Reese smiled.

"Yeah, there's more to it," I said. "Do you happen to have a message from your Owner as well?"

Cam's sheepish grin confirmed my suspicion.

I could swear, Masters were sometimes a bigger pain in the ass than a brat on a mission to raise hell.

"One final request from Master Lucian." Cam set down the cooler next to Reese. "It's actually from Master Greer too. They've been texting all morning."

"I'm shocked," Reese deadpanned.

Jack and August chuckled.

"Right, so, um…" Cam clasped his hands behind his back. "They really want the event to be next weekend as opposed to the weekend after. Master Greer and his family will struggle to find babysitters if you go with the second option, and we have plans to celebrate Daddy for a case he and his team won recently."

Ah—well. I exchanged a glance with Reese. We'd had two dates floating around online to figure out what members preferred, and next weekend was a winner for the majority.

"That won't be a problem," Reese told the boy. "Was there anythin' else?"

Cam shifted where he stood, and he cleared his throat. "Yes, Sir. Master wanted to point out that you don't have a single high-protocol Top on your planning committee."

Lucian, I swear.

Next, Cam gestured vaguely at the cooler. "The drinks are a gift from Master so you can apply something cold to that burn. Please don't shoot the messenger."

Jack cracked up, and August and Reese chuckled; although, Reese's chuckle was on the darker side.

I was busy trying to improve my eyesight so I could spy Lucian's expression from down here. Fucking bastard.

Reese flipped open the lid on the cooler, grabbed a soda wet with condensation, and handed it back to Cam. "Here's one for your obstinate Owner, then. He could've planned the event with us if he hadn't acted like a fuckin' child for twenty years by workin' past his bedtime."

I smirked, loving Reese a whole lot at the moment. "Might I add that all the high-protocol Tops want to compete in the event. Is Lucian suggesting we take on a cheater who'll know what's going to happen before they enter the challenge?"

Cam snickered under his breath and accepted the soda. "I'll deliver your comebacks, Sir and Ma'am. Thank you for your time!" He was quick to leave the porch and hightail it out of here.

I shook my head in amusement.

"Not a single high-protocol Top…" Reese muttered to himself with his own headshake. "All right, let's get some work done. Between the four of us, I think we can put Lucian in his place."

It was a solid goal. And despite what Lucian claimed when he was a whiny prick, we had a great variety of experience right here. August had been a Daddy Dom for roughly twenty years, Jack was a master at humiliation, degradation, and mind games, I'd been a Domme and public kink speaker for over a decade, and Reese had lived and breathed BDSM since he and River had been in their early twenties.

"We have a good age range too," August noted. "I'd like to think that matters as well. Our preferences change over time, same how we tackle events and challenges, not to mention overzealous community members."

He made a good point.

"Agreed," Reese replied. "It'll be our experience and wisdom, paired with Jack's and Pen's younger energy."

What the fresh fuck.

I stared at him. "Dude, you're like two years older than me."

"Two years wiser," he corrected.

Yeah, I wasn't taking the bait.

" Anyway …" Jack smirked. "I'd like to plan this event before I turn thirty-three."

I made a whipping sound in Reese's direction, to which he scowled.

But Jack was right. We needed to get this done. In order to host the Game next weekend, all the information had to go online by tomorrow.

"All right." I opened a notebook and got ready to jot things down. "As fun as it would be to completely ignore requests from Greer and Lucian, they've had some good ideas since we decided the theme. The first one being—we'll do an event with stations."

Reese inclined his head and handed out drinks from the cooler. "Greer suggested a bake-off of some sort."

I remembered that, and I glanced at August. "Can we trust the chef with that?"

"A fine idea, indeed. I'm in." He nodded. "I take it the four of us will be judges?"

"I reckon three's fine," Reese said. "Y'all can judge, and I'll run the commentary and whatever else might need attention at the same time."

I wrote that down. "On that note, we have some volunteers already. Sloan, Lucas, and Santiago signed up to be monitors."

"You can add Franklin to the list," Jack supplied.

Excellent. We'd only need one or two more, depending on how many stations we ended up with. And participants. Judging by the talk online, it was going to be a popular event.

"Considering it's TPE we're dealing with, I wanna propose fewer stations that might require more time, rather than several that get brats buzzing," I added. "That on its own will be a test for the energizer bunnies who can't spell patience."

"Should we cater to the brats and Littles at all?" Reese wondered. "Even though they might get excited by the challenge of it all, I can picture Kit and Noa subdued as fuck by kneeling, competing in grace, and actin' like human furniture."

"Certainly Camden too," August chuckled. "I suppose it's a question of whether we cater to everyone or just focus on one kink. Your previous Games didn't include multiple kinks in the same way, did they? I read about your Hunt and the Cage event, for instance."

That was true. All Games weren't for everyone. Everyone was free to join, but we chose different themes. We'd focused heavily on sadomasochism, primal play, and brats so far.

"Fair enough," Reese conceded. "I do have one idea I wanna run with, but I can announce it after the event."

"Care to share?" I asked.

He smiled faintly. "A mascot challenge. Let the members compete to illustrate a mascot for us, and maybe it'll put out the fire of our Mclean House versus House Mclean bullshit debate."

I laughed. I loved the idea, but I wasn't sure shifting that focus was going to work long-term.

"I bet the Littles will love that," August said.

I nodded and made a note. "I'm adding it to your list," I told Reese. "For the event itself, I think we should focus solely on TPE. As mentioned, we didn't consider consensual slaves or non-masos for the boot camp or the takedown, and so on. This will be the slaves' moment in the sun."

We were in agreement. And we were thirsty in this damn heat. While August grabbed one of the other notebooks, I guzzled my iced tea, and Jack popped open a ginger ale.

"Since there are four of us, four stations would give us the opportunity to have a host at each one," Jack mentioned. "It'll make it easier for us to judge the other challenges too. I'm assuming there will be judging anyway."

Definitely. I nodded and made more notes. "Off the top of my head…I say we judge on performance, grace, obedience, and…" I pursed my lips, thinking.

"How they please their Owner," Reese said quietly. Then he sat forward a bit. "One station could be called Serve Your Owner or somethin', and the subs will have to put together a tray with—fuck, I don't know—a hot beverage, a snack, shit like that. In which case, they gotta show they know their Owner and their preferences."

I liked that a lot. Plus, it would pose a great challenge for Tops and bottoms who attended as friends, new to each other, or outside any regular dynamic. We often had plenty of those. Ash and Nora, for example.

Jack's eyes lit up with interest. "If we let that challenge end with the subs acting like a footstool or another type of human furniture, I'd like to be in charge of that station."

Reese snapped his fingers. "That's it. Yeah. Perfect. And obviously, I wanna run a station that includes pain."

"Suffer For Your Owner?" August suggested.

Oh, this was great. The creativity ball was rolling now. I made a quick note that we had to discuss our budget later, and we needed to meet up again, at least twice before the Game.

We declared ourselves done for the day shortly before noon, when Jack had to leave. He and Franklin were taking their daughter to an early movie, and August and his two took the opportunity to go buy furniture for their condo in Alexandria. They'd been so busy with work, he said, they hadn't had the time to move in yet.

Reese declared he wanted a nap, which sent Shay hurrying his way, and I heard something about River getting back soon. From where, I had no idea. I kinda wanted a nap too, but when I spotted Nora catching some sun by the pool, that notion flew out the window. The girl was topless, just chilling and chatting with Lane, and I didn't need that image in my head when I went to bed. Last night was bad enough. My God, was it bad. I could still hear her in my memories, how she'd sounded when she'd whimpered, how she'd felt when she'd shaken and quivered…

Nope, I was going to assemble some fucking furniture until the party started in two hours.

Damn her and her perky tits.

When I reemerged a little before two o'clock, the property had a new atmosphere. More people had shown up, some had left, the pool was crowded, and River stepped out of their cabin, cranky as fuck because he wasn't getting his hike.

"Reese signed up to be a DM, the dumbass," he grumbled.

I adjusted my bra strap underneath my top as I headed for the deck. "You poor thing. Can't believe you have a brother who's so active in the community."

He lifted his brows and took a drag from his smoke. "I know you're mockin' me, but I deserve sympathy for that shit."

I laughed.

Before I headed inside, I tried to see if Nora was around, but I couldn't spot her. It was both a blessing and a curse. I may not have gotten my nap, but I'd still indulged in too many daydreams while I'd wrestled my bedframe upstairs to my little loft. Then I'd been swept away in what-ifs as I'd gotten my kitchen nook ready. New mugs, new plates, new coffeemaker…

What if she's great for me, and I let her slip through my fingers because I'm a jaded bitch?

What if I sign myself up for misery because I won't even give her a chance?

Logically speaking, I knew I wasn't thinking rationally. A few of my friends had pointed that out too. Avoiding commitment for the rest of my life…? Christ.

I sighed to myself and entered the nightclub area, that was thankfully well air-conditioned, where approximately thirty of our members had gathered. Several faces completely new to me. Some only visited once a month. Some not even that. Some were insanely active in our online community but had never set foot in this house.

The members in charge of this little party had prepared everything already. The stage was set up for those who wanted to try ceremonial poses, with Beau and Ivy helping out. Nathan had claimed a corner with a sawhorse and a wall that had hooks for restraints, and he had Gretchen assisting.

Down by the seating area, another three Tops and their assistants had prepared for members to try out clamps, needle play, and wax play. It explained Santiago's interest in being here. He was an excellent wax player.

I bet he wanted to keep an eye on Nora too. I'd learned they were friends.

I found Reese, Dean, Colt, and a couple from the bondage community at the bar, busy attaching the DM patches. I'd helped Sierra's Domme when they were new out here, before they'd found their home upstairs in the rope dojo. I barely saw them at events these days, and Nattie wasn't here today. Just Sierra and a man I hadn't met before.

"Hi, Mistress Penelope." Sierra waved.

"Hey, sweetie. Where's Nattie?" I accepted a patch from Colt and attached it to my top. Our regular gear followed. A folding knife, shears, and first aid, all neatly packed into a pouch that I attached with a clip at my hip.

"She's at home, trying to get our last three kittens adopted," she replied with a grin. It jogged a memory; I'd seen a post about their cat having kittens several weeks ago. "You don't want a kitten, by any chance?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Afraid not. My life's too much of a mess. I—" But Ash! Ash was just like me; we loved both cats and dogs. Unlike me, he had a home and had actually been talking about adopting a cat. "You know what, can you ask Nattie to set one aside? I have a friend's birthday coming up. He's amazing with animals."

I was willing to break the cardinal rule of never giving a pet as a present, only because I knew Ash. He'd be thrilled.

Before Sierra could respond, someone took the stage and asked for everyone's attention. That someone was Nathan, and it didn't take a genius to see he was tired. Beyond the "I didn't sleep well last night" kind of tired.

"Nice to see so many of you here," he said into the microphone. "Before Beau takes over, I just wanna say that—given the turnout—please respect the lines, don't interrupt an ongoing scene, and if you have any questions, ask one of the DMs, not the members who are hosting the stations, unless it's your turn. Thank you." He handed the mic over to Beau and stepped down.

Hmm. Nathan had never been what I'd call overly social, but he was still incredibly kind and always took his time to help out. Now, though, it felt like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

He must know Ash was back in the community, right? They still saw each other every week when they drove their kids from one house to the other.

They reminded me a lot of Colt and Lucas, in how one was very outgoing and boisterous, and the other was happy to be dragged along. However, having observed Nathan here and there, I got the feeling he wasn't as lenient as Lucas could be with Colt. Lucas had patience for days. Nathan's assertiveness was quiet but, nevertheless, always present.

As Beau presented the event and brought up the rules and whatnot, I had Colt on one side and Sierra on the other.

"Who the fuck wears leather pants in this heat?" Colt asked quietly.

I scrunched my nose and peered up at him. He just cocked a brow at me.

"Not me." I grabbed the waistband and showed the stretchy stretch. "They're leggings." They were a fucking godsend. They looked like painted-on leather pants, but no, sir.

He furrowed his brow. "Fake pants," he whispered. "How come they don't make those for men? I'm sweatin' my balls off."

I patted his arm. "Maybe it's menopause."

He could also give up the jeans for shorts, but whatever. Besides, it wasn't that hot in here. The AC was running on high.

"That it, buddy?" Reese chuckled, throwing an arm around Colt's shoulders. "Do you get the hot flashes?"

I snickered and returned my attention to Sierra.

"Have you noticed anything different with Nathan lately?" I asked for only her to hear. The Nathan-Ash topic wasn't new for us, so she knew what I meant.

She leaned in to respond just as Nora rushed by with Lane, with Ty moseying along after, and it took me a beat to refocus.

"…been depressed for a damn year, so no, I can't say there's been a recent change," Sierra murmured. "He was dating someone last fall, but it ended within a month or two. Can't really blame the sub either—Nathan tried too hard. Like, he went all in but couldn't commit. He made plans but canceled a lot."

As I'd figured. Those two men needed to get their shit together.

You're one to talk.

Whatever.

Once the party started, the DMs scattered, and I watched Sierra make a beeline for Nathan's station. Meanwhile, I saw Nora get in line by the stage, and I couldn't help myself. I walked closer, all while telling myself I had a responsibility. I couldn't stare at her all day. My job was to provide assistance, safety, and answer questions.

But this area needed those things too, right? Colt, Reese, and Dean had migrated to the other end of the club, so yeah.

"Ma'am! Mistress Penelope!" Little Ivy maneuvered through the crowd forming, and I smiled as I laid eyes on her growing belly. She didn't have that long to go now.

"Look at you, sugar." I gave her a hug and then inched back to cup her cheek. I loved seeing the happiness in her eyes. "Beautiful."

"Don't tell me I'm glowing," she joked. "I'm so ready for this kicker to slide right out of me."

I laughed and eased away. "Do you honestly think there will be much sliding involved?"

She let out a chuckled whine and stomped her foot.

"Ivy! C'mere, you brat! Your Owners told me you're mine for the day!" That was Beau.

"Oops." Ivy grinned sheepishly.

"Where are your Owners?" I had to ask.

"They're putting together the nursery at home," she replied, backing away. "We'll talk later? I miss you!"

"I'll be around." I smiled and watched her disappear again.

Everyone was in love, having kids, and getting married…

Ugh, I needed Ash here, so we could bitch to each other again.

As if on cue, I heard Nora's soft laughter over the cacophony of noise, and I spotted her in the line, chatting up someone I hadn't seen before.

I cleared my throat and decided to move on. Beau and Ivy had their stage covered, the kinksters watching weren't being too loud, and it was a station involving very few risks.

I lasted about fifteen minutes.

I helped a sub get over his nerves in order to try nipple clamps, I spoke to two Tops, and I witnessed the line Nora was in get shorter and shorter until she was next.

She beamed as she jumped up to talk to Beau, and Ivy assisted with the instructions for the first two poses.

Seeing Nora on her knees like that, perfect posture, so much grace… Why did I even pretend to have resolve? I couldn't make my way over there fast enough.

"In the end, your Top decides how these poses will be modified, but this one is a common pose for presentation that some—or most—call the Nadu," Beau explained. He spoke to her as much as he spoke to those observing. "Sit on your heels and spread your knees."

I took in my surroundings, making sure I wasn't needed anywhere else, before I allowed myself a few seconds to let the world disappear. Nora obeyed swiftly and got into position, her gaze fixed forward and her shoulders squared.

"Excellent," Beau commented. "Then you turn your hands, palms up, and rest them on your thighs."

Damn near flawless.

Nora wasn't merely beautiful; she was fucking adorable in tiny cotton shorts and a snug top. She pulled off gracefulness with a side of a crooked smile and eyes glinting with joy. She loved this. She was happy.

When Beau eased the end of a cane up her throat, to lift her chin slightly, I envied a goddamn object.

That should be my fingers making sure her chin was held high.

"And close your eyes," Beau murmured.

Right then and there, Nora's gaze landed on me. I felt the connection like two wires with magnetic tips rushing together with a snick . And the sensation didn't fade as she closed her eyes and released a long breath.

"Gorgeous. That's so good," Ivy praised. "You have great posture, Nora."

Fuck, I had to get away from her if I was gonna be able to do my job. I cleared my throat and averted my?—

"Penelope?"

No.

I froze at the sound of Ella's voice coming from behind me. Why the fuck was she here? I didn't wanna face her. I didn't want the anger and the hurt to come rushing back. At a complete loss about my future or not—fine, I could live with that—I'd dealt with the past. We were so done .

I drew a breath and braced myself mentally, then reluctantly turned around and came face-to-face with my darling cheater of an ex-girlfriend.

No changes, at least. It felt weird to see her, and I'd half expected her to look different, though I didn't know why. It was the same old her. And no hurt. Yet. Or anger. Just annoyance because she was here.

She took a few tentative steps forward, and a sub snuck between us on his way somewhere.

Suddenly, I would give anything to get back to watching Nora. She was…the opposite of what I had in front of me. Nora was a breath of fresh air. Ella was tainted by her betrayal. Her blond hair and brown eyes that'd once reeled me in just made me see another woman's hands on her. I could picture Ella's expression contorting in pain and pleasure while she was with someone else.

Weirdly enough, it didn't bother me as much as it had a few months ago.

I was simply…over her.

What a fucking relief.

I exhaled and folded my arms over my chest. "Make it quick. I'm on DM duty."

To be honest, I couldn't see this working out. We couldn't share this community. She had to go. She had to realize this was a dead end.

Her gaze flickered with uncertainty. "I know. I was, um, just wondering if we could talk after the party?"

Talk about what ?

"I have plans." It was the truth. "What's there to talk about?"

I caught one of my big oafs moving in the background—Colt, and he mouthed, "You okay?" to me.

I nodded subtly, grateful for him. He nodded once in return and got back to what he was doing.

Ella didn't conceal her disappointment. "I want to say us , but I get the feeling you're just gonna say there is no us."

"I'm glad you get that feeling," I replied. "Honestly—" Fuck. I saw someone get upset over by a St. Andrews cross, so I told Ella she'd have to find me later. I hurried over there and stayed behind the Top for the moment.

This wasn't part of the event; the Top and his sub were playing on their own, and it was easy to see the boy wasn't a fan of restraints.

I gently put a hand on the Top's back as he dug out a flogger from his duffel.

He startled and glanced back at me.

"Safeword reminder right now, please," I told him, gesturing to the sub.

The Top turned to his boy again, visibly concerned, but he didn't appear to be surprised by the sub being distraught. "What's your color, baby?"

The boy sniffled and clenched his fists. "G-green. I promise."

So far, so good. "Does he ever struggle to safeword?" I kept my voice down so only the boy's Top heard me. I'd seen them around before, so I knew they'd been together for a while.

"Not at all," the man assured. Then he furrowed his brow. "Maybe I should've given a heads-up before…? We're trying to work past one of his triggers, and he feels more comfortable in a crowd." He held up the flogger. "This is to distract him. He loves being flogged."

I'd heard what I needed to hear—for now. I thanked him—and apologized for interrupting—and then I walked away so I could watch from a safer distance. The boy hadn't been shocked out of the scene, and that was good. Interrupting Tops had to happen occasionally. But these two appeared to have a solid dynamic. I kept an eye on them as the Top started flogging his boy, and the shift was pretty immediate. The sub went from trembling and whimpering to finding a comfort zone in the thuddy pain.

My shoulders lost the last of their tension when I heard how communicative the Top was. He praised his boy a lot, said he was proud of him, and spoke of his progress.

"I'm doing it, Daddy," the boy chuckled tearfully.

"Fuck yeah, you are." The Top was clearly proud. "You wanna go get ice cream now, or?—"

"A little longer." And the boy was determined.

I'd seen enough now too.

I smiled a little to myself and moved on.

No matter how many years I'd been so heavily involved in kink, these situations never failed to put me on a roller coaster of emotions, and they happened so swiftly that most of them didn't register until it was all over. The nervousness and worry that something might be wrong. The risks, the unknowns, the red flags. The doubts that sometimes lingered, when you just had to keep on watching to make sure…

Then the rewarding relief and joy of seeing a sub push through a discomfort or trigger.

In a world where pain was loved by many and tears could be months of pressure unleashing, we had less to go on when we calculated danger. Something that looked terrifying and upsetting could be healing and filled with satisfaction.

At the same time, something usually went sideways at events like this one when many newbies wanted to try something they'd only read about, so we had to be prepared. But sideways didn't mean catastrophic. Nine times out of ten, it was merely a sub needing the scene to end right then and there. And we were a community that encouraged safewording freely and frequently. We believed it promoted trust and openness, not to mention it removed some of the stigma. Too many subs feared calling red because that might bruise the foundation of a dynamic, and some Tops too—they viewed it as a personal failure to hear their sub call red.

Those mind-sets needed to be crushed like a bug.

As if someone was reading my damn mind, I heard a male voice choke out yellow, and I spun around. Okay, never mind, Reese and Dean were on the case.

My heart drummed a little faster, and I thought of River. No wonder he hated these newbie events. They put us through the emotional wringer.

Ella caught up with me minutes later, and I almost snapped at her. We were busy; all DMs were on high alert, and if I couldn't take the time to indulge in watching Nora, I sure as hell couldn't stand here and talk to my ex.

That was all she was now. An ex. A memory. Part of my past.

"I sincerely don't get what we have to talk about," I told her. "But either way, now's not the time, and?—"

" Red ! I'm sorry, fuck, red!"

I sucked in a breath, instantly recognizing Nora's voice, and Ella was forgotten. I was moving through the crowd before I even noticed it. Ella called after me, saying she wanted to wait by my cabin for the event to be over, and I just—fuck, I didn't even know. I answered on autopilot over my shoulder, like a sure, fine, whatever, before I made my way toward…it had to be Nathan's station.

"Everyone back off," he commanded firmly.

Gretchen swooped in to get the line of members to back away.

I snuck between a visibly worried Lane and Kit, and I had to stop myself before I crossed a line. First and foremost, Nathan was the one handling the scene, and he was squatting down in front of Nora, who looked like she'd collapsed on the floor. He was cutting the rope harness he'd put her in.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered.

"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, pet." He made quick work of removing the last rope, and then he grasped her hands to feel her fingers. "Any more tingling or numbness than before?"

She sniffled. "Not really—it was the position. The rope cinched too hard around my s-shoulders and feet when I lost my footing."

He nodded once. "You think you can stand?"

Goddamn her for putting my heart in a vise. I took a steadying breath, telling myself she didn't look too upset, and I turned around to face the others.

"Give us more space, people," I said.

When I turned back to Nathan and Nora, she was on her feet, and he was keeping her close.

"We'll put that smile back on your face soon, but you gotta humor my rigger brain so I can rule out nerve damage. Okay?" While Nathan spoke, he ran his hands up and down her arms, going through with his exam. I'd seen it several times before, and he knew what he was doing. "What about here?" He traced two fingers over a spot where I could see the rope had dug in.

She wiped her cheek and shook her head. "No, Sir. It was really just those last seconds when I slipped."

"That's good to hear. Let's go find a quiet place, shall we?" Nathan didn't wait for a response, instead turning to Gretchen. "Close the station for half an hour, at least. I'll be back later."

"Understood, Sir." Gretchen nodded.

Knowing the drill from here, I offered to grab an aftercare kit, and Nathan nodded in thanks.

"We'll be on the front porch," he said.

Good spot.

I made my way out of the club and down the hall to the nearest supply closet, where we kept the aftercare kits. Nathan undoubtedly had some stuff already, but he'd be more focused on Nora's nerves and possibly fear. Whereas the kit's job was to turn a frown upside down. They had funny Band-Aids, aloe, tissues, chocolate—shit like that.

In the kitchen, I grabbed a soda too.

Before I went to join Nathan and Nora, I spotted Lucas and asked if he could cover for me for a moment.

"Yeah, of course. No problem. Is everything all right?"

"I think so. Thanks, hon. I'll give you an update later." I hurried back toward the front of the house, through the lobby, and pushed open the doors.

I arrived on the scene right in time to allow myself an ounce of relief. Nathan and Nora were sitting on one of the sofas, and he was testing the strength in her fingers by having her pinch his hands.

"Ouch—okay, go again," he chuckled.

She was grinning, and her blue eyes were only a little red. "It would hurt less if I did this to your leg or something."

He smiled a little. "It's easier for me to measure your strength in my hands. Besides, a brat like you enjoys this much more."

Her grin turned sheepish.

I loved Nathan. I didn't know him as well as I wanted to, but I loved him. The way a Dom performed aftercare spoke volumes about them.

"I see you put the smile back on her face." I went over to them and sat down on the other sofa. "How're you feeling, sweetie?" I set the soda in front of her.

"Much better, thank you," she said. "It only hurt when my feet slipped, and I panicked."

Nathan gathered her hands in his and gave them a squeeze. "She was a six on the pain scale with slight tingling less than a minute before she dropped, and I can't find any reasons to be concerned."

"The slightest tingling," Nora added.

I was glad to hear it.

"Great news. What position were you in?" I wondered. I'd only seen the traces of a beautiful upper-body harness, but she'd had rope around her ankles as well.

Nathan smirked as Nora scowled.

"It was one of those wall-sits that are, like, impossible," she huffed. "And super uncomfortable!"

I grinned. Those were fun. Back against the wall, nothing holding the sub up except the strength in their legs. And add a harness to that? I was sad I'd missed it.

"Predicament bondage isn't supposed to be comfortable," Nathan teased.

"Yeah, I got that." Nora mock-scowled at him before she turned to me. "It gets worse. The rope tightened if I slid down the wall, and guess what happened."

I laughed softly.

She sighed a little after that, and she glanced back at Nathan. "I'm sorry I massacred the rope. It felt amazing before I lost my strength."

He chucked her lightly on the chin. "There's plenty of rope, brat. There's only one of you."

Wasn't that the truth.

"It's not the first bundle to be sacrificed," I said. "Won't be the last either."

Nathan agreed.

"Still." Nora made a face. "Wouldn't it have been enough to just untie me quickly?"

Nathan and I shook our heads, but I let him answer.

"If you ever visit me in the dojo upstairs, you'll learn just how frequently I talk about nerve damage. It can set in rapidly, and it can be permanent. Ten bucks' worth of rope has nothing on you not feeling your fingers for weeks to come."

"Maybe we could visit him together, hon." The words left my mouth before I could think twice—but…I didn't take them back. For two reasons. First and foremost, we liked to get subs back on the horse to repeat a scene that somehow didn't work out initially. Secondly, I wanted to. I wanted plans with her.

She looked surprised.

"I'd like that," Nathan said.

"Me too." Nora's smile was something else. "Are you a rigger too, Ma'am?"

"Oh no, I'll just spot Nathan," I chuckled. "I'm more of a cuff 'em and pin 'em down kind of Top."

"My favorite." The dorky brat made an appearance by waggling her eyebrows, and I could only shake my head in amusement. "I like bondage too, though." She faced Nathan again. "You wouldn't mind topping me sometime?"

"Not at all. It would be fun," he answered.

"Great! Now I just gotta get Mistress Penelope to top me too." She batted her lashes at me, and I smirked. Oh, I was screwed. "I mean, think about it. I have Nathan for bondage and Ash for the next Game, so one might?—"

"Ash?" Nathan straightened and composed his face, but I caught the way the corners of his eyes tightened a little.

"Oh crap." Nora slapped a hand over her mouth. "I forgot you're you, Sir. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought him up."

He feigned dismissiveness. "It's okay. I know he's back in the community. We're bound to run into each other at some point."

Yeah, but did he really anticipate that, or was he just saying it? Because it wouldn't surprise me if Ash wasn't the only one hiding behind the kids. With them sharing custody and going every other week like that, they technically shared custody of Mclean too.

"Either way, I'm sorry," Nora murmured. "Also, I'm totally fine if you wanna get back to your station. No trauma here, I swear."

Nathan smiled faintly. "I'm in no rush. You sure you're okay?"

Nora nodded. "I'm gonna make Mistress Penelope stay with me for a moment, but that's for other reasons."

Oh, really.

Well…I wasn't going to fight her.

"Okay, then." Nathan conceded. "I'd like you to shoot me a friend request online so we can exchange numbers. That way, I can check in with you later tonight."

"Will do, Sir," Nora promised. "What's your name on the forum?"

"Just Rigger," Nathan answered. He gave Nora's leg a brief squeeze before he rose to his feet. "We'll talk later, then. You did good today, brat. You safeworded when you were supposed to."

"Thank you, Sir." Nora smiled. "Mishap aside, I loved the scene. I'm looking forward to exploring more bondage."

"Straight to a rope rigger's heart." Nathan clutched his heart and grinned. He flicked me a glance next. "You'll stay with her for a while?"

"Absolutely. I'll keep you posted too."

"Thanks, hon. I'll see you around." He headed back inside, and I let out a breath.

We were alone.

I kinda needed it. Even though I could see she was fine, I wanted some alone time with her.

"Hi." She grabbed her soda and moved over to my sofa, where she plopped down with a cute grin. "He's so nice. I'm gonna tell Ash later that Nathan is nice, because we text now."

"You do, huh?"

She nodded. "Yes, Ma'am. He's Big Bear, and I'm li'l cub. We have a thing. We quiz each other so we can get to know each other better before the Game."

In other words, someone was fitting in perfectly.

"Without spoiling anything for the event, getting to know each other is very good," I replied. "It's not just limits that need to be discussed. Preferences too."

She cocked her head. "I feel like you're trying to tell me something."

I chuckled. "Call it minor assistance to a dynamic that might have a slight disadvantage because you're new to each other. But if you keep going, you'll be fine."

She pursed her lips, determination taking over. "Okay. We're gonna quiz each other even harder and bring home the trophy. So to speak. And with that out of the way, let's not discuss boys for a while." She exaggerated a wink as she opened her soda.

My jaw fucking hurt from smiling. "You're a dork, you know that?"

"I may have heard that before, but it's okay. Dorks have more fun."

Maybe she was right.

I swallowed and felt the mirth fade, because…had I forgotten how to have fun? I'd felt weighed down by something for longer than I cared to admit. Whatever it was…had kept me from experiencing unbridled fun—the kind where you laughed till you cried or almost peed your pants, the kind that gave your stomach a workout from all the laughing.

"Something just happened." Nora scooted closer with a concerned look on her face, so she must've noticed my mood tanking. "Are you okay?"

Was I?

"I don't know," I said honestly. "It's possible it's been too long since I knew how to have fun. I… I used to be more upbeat, quick to sling jokes and put together a party. I miss that woman."

Had someone like Shay approached me five or six years ago, with the idea of pranking both Tops and bottoms together, my approach would've been different. I would've lit up internally. I would've fired up my brain to think of all the ways we could raise hell. Now—I mean, I had agreed, so I wasn't completely dead. Not all hope was lost. But I still had a long way to go if I wanted to be that person again.

"Maybe a dorky brat could teach you?" Nora suggested.

I grinned. "I've heard of worse ideas." Then I gathered her hands in mine and kissed her knuckles, and I was rewarded with a faint blush bleeding onto her cheeks. "You're getting under my skin, honey. That wasn't the plan."

She bit her lip as if she was trying to contain her smile. "To quote you from last night, that's honest."

Yeah, well.

"When one's resolve breaks into a million pieces, all you have left is honesty."

Part of me was still too wounded to rush into anything. Wounded from losing myself, nothing else. But I'd be an idiot if I didn't at least give Nora a shot. She wanted it; I did too. Hell, I couldn't go the whole event without seeking her out.

I wanted to open up to her. Tell her everything about myself, learn everything about her too, and pray she'd be okay with my sexuality being a little different.

"My heart's freaking hammering right now," she admitted.

She knew just what to say too. She made me hope. She ignited something within me that'd been stone-cold for years.

I leaned in and kissed her, and I cupped her cheek.

She smiled and kissed me back, and we—fuck, were interrupted by someone leaving. Or stepping out for a smoke. Whatever. Immediately annoyed, I broke the kiss and looked toward the door, only to see Ella there.

Good grief.

Excellent timing, really.

Seeing hurt slash through Ella's features didn't make a lick of sense, but I did see the fake indifference and anger coming from a mile away.

"I waited for you," she said.

Nora cleared her throat and made a move to back away, and I didn't let her. She wasn't the intruder here; Ella was.

"I don't know why," I replied. "I've told you we have nothing to talk about."

Ella's jaw ticked, and she slid her gaze at Nora, then back to me. "It didn't take you long to find a new toy."

"Oh, meow ." Nora lifted a brow at her. "Have your claws always been catty, or is that a new feature?"

Salty hothead incoming.

I squeezed her hand and suppressed my smirk, because Ella was one insult away from lashing out.

"In response to what you said—I waited longer than you," I told her. "You can leave now."

She gnashed her teeth and stood there silently for a moment, but she had nothing. In the end, she headed down the porch steps and strode across the lawn toward the carport.

If I could catch a break, that would be the last I ever saw of her.

"So that was Ella."

Nora snorted softly. "I saw her inside earlier. I guess she has some regrets."

So she'd heard through the grapevine how our relationship had ended. I wasn't surprised.

"I couldn't care less." I cared about what was right in front of me. I had to make sure I didn't push Nora away anymore, and then… Fuck, I was too scared to hope or have any expectations, but I was going to open myself up for baby steps toward a future that didn't depress me.

That was something, wasn't it?

"What does the rest of your weekend look like?" I asked.

She quirked a curious smile and tilted her head. "I work tomorrow, ten to four. Then Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, ten to six."

That sounded like retail. "What do you do?"

"I work at a reptile center in Arlington," she responded. "Tiny place—it's just the owner, me, and another part-time employee."

All…righty…then. Reptiles. Snakes and stuff. Lizards. Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised, given how close she and Lane were. Lane and Ty, with a side of Noa, were our reptile wizards.

"You like snakes and lizards," I deduced.

She snickered, possibly because of my expression. I didn't hate creepy-crawlies; I wasn't afraid of snakes or anything, but I wasn't fond of them either. I'd grown up in rattlesnake territory outside LA, so I could identify which ones got to stay on the property, which ones had to be removed, and which ones made me scream for Dad to take over.

"I love them, but I'll never own one myself," she answered. "The species I'm into are time-consuming and pretty expensive, so I'll stick to working with reptiles and cuddling Lane's babies."

Lane's babies.

"Have you heard of cats and dogs?" I had to ask.

She laughed and gave my arm an "oh, you" shove. "I love them too! But I live in a two-bedroom with three roommates, so that's not happening anytime soon either."

Oh, I remembered those days. When I'd moved out east for college, I'd shared a studio off campus with two other girls.

"But, so to, uh, circle back to what you asked earlier," she went on. "I don't have anywhere to be until ten tomorrow morning. Just so we're clear."

I smiled. I liked the sound of that.