14. Adam

The little red light glowed on the camera. Goosebumps formed all over my skin as I saw the halo of Chase's blond and blue hair above it. Tiny dust motes were floating in the light, and time seemed to slow down, like I was actually in a movie rather than my own life.

I waited and waited for when my anxiety would hit me like a brick to the head, but then… it didn't.

I wasn't nervous.

I didn't know how it was possible to be less shy while lying naked on the floor in front of Chase than I was when I had been clothed and trying to have normal conversations, but that was the special thing about Chase. He brought all sorts of new things out of me.

Or maybe he just gave me the confidence to be who I already was.

The ambient heat of the early evening radiated through the windows. I gripped my cock like I usually did, letting my back arch up off the floor a little. I tried to clear my mind entirely, thinking about nothing other than how good it felt.

I could hear all of the birdsong and the chatter of a squirrel outside, just past the balcony doors. A car drove down the street, its low rumble filling the air.

I also heard the faint sound of Chase breathing.

The most distracting thing of all.

I wished he could just talk to me, in the same way that always put me at ease. Maybe we could work out a way that he could say things to me, and we could edit out the audio later?

Or maybe it wouldn't be so bad to upload a video where he was talking to me.

"I fucking needed this," I uttered in a low voice.

It was a shot in the dark, to see if Chase would say anything in response. But he kept silent, professional, behind the camera like he was used to doing.

The idea of hearing his voice right now was all I wanted.

Being so close to him in the silence of my bedroom was intimate in a way I never could have imagined. Him watching me almost felt similar to having him touching me—I could feel his eyes on me even more than I could feel the camera watching me.

He liked watching. Liked filming.

And apparently I fucking loved being watched.

I bit down on my lower lip, sinking back into the towel below me and squeezing tight around the base of my cock.

His lips had felt so fucking soft on mine when I'd been tipsy and stupid enough to kiss him the other night. He'd given into my kiss, even though every insecure part of me had second-guessed myself, even then, and I'd assumed he might push me away.

Talk to me, I thought.

Touch me.

When I glanced up at him again now, he was peeking over the camera, looking down at me with his big, blue eyes. I moaned involuntarily as we made eye contact, and my chest filled with heat.

"So good," I whispered involuntarily.

I missed the slick, wet warmth of his tongue sliding along mine. How his tongue might feel on other places of my body. It was an image I'd been trying to forbid myself from thinking about ever since it happened.

And then my cock throbbed in my hand, the hint of an orgasm already threatening.

Fuck.

Nope. I wasn't going to come this soon. Certainly not during the first time that Chase was actually filming real footage that I might upload to OnlyShots. I couldn't deny how badly I wanted to perform for him. To give him a good show, like I had a live audience of just one person. My biggest fan.

I forced myself to think about statistics and mortgages and awkward parties—anything that would turn me off, fast.

But the slight panic was already doing the job for me. I felt my thoughts ratcheting up in speed, descending on me like a swarm.

Big problem.

Instead of just slowing down, my erection started to go away entirely, which sure as hell wasn't a problem I usually dealt with. I stared down my torso, too aware of how it might look on camera.

"Fuck. Pause for a minute?" I said gently, looking up at Chase. My throat was dry when I spoke, like I hadn't talked in hours.

"Done," he said, and the little red light turned off. "You doing okay?"

The sound of his voice felt like a lifeline after the tension of the silence while we'd been filming.

"It's so weird," I told him, sitting up. "I usually love silence, but right now it's making me feel like I'm going to explode."

Chase nodded knowingly. "Lie back down. I'll try something."

I had no clue what he meant by that, but I did as he said, lying back in the sunlight and breathing deep. I saw the light turn on at the side of the camera again and I wrapped my fist around my cock, trying to bring it back to life.

"That's good," Chase's voice came from behind the camera and I turned to him, surprised.

"Yeah?" I asked, stroking myself and starting to get a little hard again.

"I fucking love watching you," he said gently. His tone of voice sounded professional and neutral, but something about that only made it register as more attractive to me.

Like this was all just a fun job for him, watching me get hard and jerk off and absolutely lose my goddamn mind for him.

I swallowed hard. "I'm glad you like it," I said, tugging on my cock again as it perked right back up.

He paused recording for another moment.

"We can edit out the sound of me talking if you want," he suggested. He was looking down at me.

I stroked myself. "Or we can leave it in. Maybe people want to hear you telling me what to do."

Chase raised his eyebrows. "You think so?"

My breath quickened. My cock was very hard again, and I nodded. "Make me come, Chase. I think my followers would like to watch it happen."

Talking to him like that made my cock throb. I could tell he was surprised by it too, his eyes going wide as he licked his lips.

"I am the luckiest guy in the world right now," he muttered, and I had to fight not to grin like an idiot.

It was all just fun and games. No strings attached, the way Chase liked it.

But even if I knew all of this was just going to be a short-lived fling, it was the most fun I'd had in years.

Truthfully, I had no clue whether or not my followers would be into seeing me upload a video where I was being guided by someone else in the room, but right now, I didn't really care.

But I had nothing to lose. I didn't rely on OnlyShots for money at all, and the small amount of money I made from it each month was just bonus cash alongside my real day job.

Chase started recording again.

"Take your hand off your cock," he commanded me, in a firm tone.

I followed immediately, taking my hand off my cock. My erection jumped in front of me, and I looked down, seeing precum already forming again at the tip.

"You don't want me to touch myself?" I asked.

"Oh, I do," he said, moving to the side so I could see his face next to the camera. "I just want to tease you a little bit, like you've teased me in all your videos."

I groaned, my cock bobbing in the air again. "Payback, huh?"

"I'm a big fan of your videos, but for just this once, I get to be in control," he said. "I want to have a little fun with it. Now put your fist around your cock again."

I did as he said, the relief of my hand already bringing me a step closer to coming.

Maybe my followers would hate this. But maybe some of them would love it, too. Hearing the voice of someone that had just been a fan until now, edging me until I was about to blow.

"It feels so good," I said, my voice low and sultry now, too. "You enjoying watching me?"

"I could watch you for hours," he murmured. "Is that what I should do? Tease you for hours and hours? Deny you? Make you beg?"

I pulled in a sharp breath of air, squeezing my cock. "I really want to come for you."

"I know you do, Adam," he purred.

Fuck, I loved the sound of my name on his lips.

"You know I can't wait that long to come for you," I whispered. "You want to see it just as badly, too."

He hummed. "You have my permission."

I sighed audibly and pumped my cock in my fist. He had dipped lower, crouching and changing the angle of the camera so that I could see him watching me now in my full field of view. As I jerked off I tried to keep my eyes down, but when I looked up and made eye contact with him, I couldn't look away.

He was so close to me now. Watching me. Waiting for me to give him what he wanted.

"You are so fucking good," I uttered.

"Tell me what you want," Chase said, his eyes half-lidded, his gaze holding mine.

"I want to come," I uttered. "And…"

I trailed off, not finishing my sentence. Chase watched me intently, waiting for me to say something.

"Tell me," he repeated, gentle and firm all at once.

"Touch me," I said under my breath, and I watched as his eyes flared wide, just for a moment.

It was what I'd been silently repeating in my mind, but it had somehow escaped my lips. I'd meant to ask it more like a question, but it had come out as something different.

Something more like begging.

There was a beat of silence, and I swallowed, taking my hand off my cock. The tension built up ten times more than before.

Then I felt the warmth of Chase's palm come down on my thigh, and it was like the answer to a question I'd been asking all day. All week.

I'd needed his touch.

Chase managed to hold the camera with one hand while he slid his hand up my thigh, rubbing close to my cock, but not touching it.

"Please," I heard myself say, heat rippling through me.

The moment Chase's hand landed at the base of my cock I forgot about the camera entirely.

"Come for me," he commanded, like he already knew I was going to do absolutely anything he told me.

My eyes fluttered shut. "I'm going to."

I forced myself to look at him, even though it was going to make me lose control. He set the camera down on the short table nearby, pointing it toward us. His free hand skated upward, tracing over my nipple before coming up further to my mouth.

His thumb slid over my lower lip and I leaned upward, taking it between my lips and sucking.

He groaned, squeezing tighter around my cock. "You are fucking amazing, Adam."

My fucking name on his lips.

It was like he was controlling me completely, in the best way possible. He quickened his pace and I knew I was losing control. I bit down gently on his thumb as I let go, sensation pooling low in my cock.

I came for him, fast and hard, warmth flooding my body as I shot all the way up to my collarbone.

He let his thumb slide out across my lower lip again, and then let go of me, reaching over to turn off the camera.

And then he leaned in, pressing a slow, sweet kiss to my lips.

I moaned involuntarily. I felt like I was melting into a cloud.

He was kissing me, even after I'd already come, and the video was over.

"Well, that was fucking hot," Chase said as he leaned up an inch, hovering above my lips for a moment.

I wanted to lean up and capture his mouth in mine again, to pull him in close and squeeze his whole body against mine. He had just fulfilled a dozen desires of mine in about twenty minutes flat, and he'd been single-handedly making my fantasies come true since the moment I met him.

I really did have a crush on him. The blue of his eyes was even more luminous when he was this close to my face, the sunlight from the window shining on him.

You can't fall for someone who doesn't want to fall for anyone.

The warning slid through my mind and then evaporated. And then, all at once, the gaze that Chase had been holding—the longing that I swore I saw in his eyes, too, all snapped away in an instant.

He blinked. Then leaned back, stood up, and walked away.

I was naked, covered in my own mess, and exhausted as Chase hopped up and crossed over to my bathroom. He came back with tissues and wiped me clean like I was some sort of paid actor and he was here to take care of me.

It still felt good.

Really good, even if I would have preferred tackling him onto the floor and making out with him for an hour, getting to enjoy the first guy who had ever been physical with me.

But I knew I shouldn't focus on that. My crush would go away eventually. And even now, Chase was practically doting on me, even though I was just some random guy who had uploaded videos he liked. If someone had told me that one of my followers would end up in my room, jerking me off, I would have rolled my eyes so hard it would hurt. Those kinds of wild, cool things didn't happen to me.

Until he came into my life, at least.

I was beyond lucky, and I knew I should be happy with what I had. Having Chase become part of my life at all was like winning the lottery, even if it was bound to be casual and brief.

After I was clean, Chase leaned back, and as he moved I felt his cock drag against my thigh, through the fabric of his jeans.

Whoa.

He was hard. Undeniably very, very hard, just like I had been a minute ago.

And in an instant, I was like a drooling dog again, wanting to beg him to be closer to me again.

"I want to get you off," I said, wishing I didn't sound desperate. "Can I get you off?"

He shrugged. "You're the star here, not me."

"Chase," I said, "I've come twice now in front of you. I have to give you something, too."

"You don't have to."

"I really want to."

He clicked his tongue. "Trust me, you've given me a lot."

"Not enough."

Fire ripped through my chest, unbidden. I sat up on my knees, closing the distance between us and crushing my lips to his again. I wasn't thinking properly, but the problem was that I didn't care to try right now.

He breathed out, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close.

Was he finally giving himself permission?

"Adam," he said softly.

"I know it's not serious," I finally said, trying to let him know I wasn't getting carried away. "I know you don't want… more. But don't you want to come?"

His breath near my mouth was irresistible. His fingers gripped the small of my waist as he paused for a moment.

"Of course I want to come. Filming you turned me on so fucking much."

"Then let yourself," I said softly, leaning in to kiss below his ear.

"God, you feel good," he murmured, squeezing his fingers harder around my waist. "I knew you would, when I watched your videos. But it's even better than I imagined."

"Can't believe someone like you thought about me at all," I said, leaning in to press another kiss to his lips before leaning back again, looking in his eyes.

"I don't know what that's supposed to mean," he said, looking from my eyes to my lips and back again. "You're a catch. Beyond a catch. Successful, smart, and you look like Superman. I'm just a wild, hopeless artist who happened to land a job where I can stand behind a camera all day."

It blew my mind that he would think he wasn't a catch.

Chase was so dynamic. He said whatever he wanted to say, did whatever he wanted to do, and was so much more interesting than anyone I'd ever met. So colorful, in the most beautiful way.

I was just a lonely guy who liked numbers.

"I might be a catch on paper, but I'm a mess when I have to interact with anyone," I said. "You know that, firsthand."

"If you're a mess then I think I like messes," he murmured, reaching a hand up to run his fingers through my hair, giving it a little tug.

I sighed, leaning into his touch. A question probed at the edges of my mind, and I couldn't help but give it voice.

"If I wasn't drunk at your house the other night, would you have hooked up with me?"

He paused, thinking for a moment. "Probably not."

My chest sank. I pulled back, furrowing my brow. "What? Really?"

He shrugged. "Just telling you the truth. I don't hook up with people unless I have a clear signal from them."

"Clear signal, meaning…"

He held my gaze. "Needed to know you actually wanted it."

I cocked my head to the side. "Bullshit. You could tell I wanted it."

He nodded slowly, taking one of my hands in his and lacing his fingers through mine. "I also needed to know you would even want to hook up with someone who is basically incapable of a real relationship."

It was the first time I'd seen Chase look unsure of himself.

I watched the most confident person I'd ever met turn wary, watching me like he was afraid of how I might react.