Chapter 21

twenty-one

River

November

When I left Vermont, I did my best to return to a somewhat normal rhythm of life. There's been a lot of excuses made between us to shorten our evening chats but they haven't fully disappeared. During closing most nights my fingers take on a mind of their own and I hover over the top contact: Lily. As that thought makes its way through my head, I see a notification pop up with her name.

Lily:

Hello from the Moab desert!

River:

Hello from the basement

Lily:

photo of Pete with large red stone arches in the background

River:

photo of whiskey barrels

I always find a reason to talk about the nothingness of the day now that it's obvious to me her online life is a complete ruse. She has so few genuine connections in the world and I will not admit my crush, turning myself into another horny man whose focus is dat ass.

It's a fantastic ass, don't get me wrong. Her last photo is in the mirror so you can see her face and back. Her hair grew longer in the last couple months and continues to cascade over her shoulders, and now skims the top of the swell of her breasts in that sports bra. It's a rich emerald green, reminding me of the pine trees everyone has been dragging home for holiday events. I wonder what it's like for her to spend holidays without family . Her posture makes it so the tiniest swell of cleavage is visible in her reflection, showing off her perfectly round and perky tits. Damn, do I want to know how they would feel… wait what am I thinking about?

It's a Monday afternoon and the bar is closed, as is industry standards, so I am unloading deliveries in the different storage and stock locations. As I wipe down the bar top, I think about the first George to own and operate Thee Featherweight with his wife, Molly. I can't wait to have a partner, a real one. Delia is an amazing worker, but this isn't her dream. She's just trying to find her way and I know it but I'd never throw it in her face.

Heading into the basement, the cool stones hold in the necessary chill for the aging home distilled spirits and brewed beers. I take all of the practical steps to check inventory and ensure things are stored and working properly, just like Grandpa taught me when I was nine years old.

The cool beige painted cinder blocks and tiny dark alcoves remind me of being a teen. Grandpa would hide a secret stash of alcohol I could swipe for my friends, because he had pre-watered down the bottles and they were hardly alcoholic by the time we got a hold of them. Grant, Seth, and I would play truth or dare and I'd wait for them to request these terrible drinks.

I can see myself sitting in that circle, palms sweating, wishing I could ask them to be my wingmen but too afraid of rejection. I always hoped that she could be the brave one, or that Nessa would instigate a game of spin the bottle since she teased the idea so often. My prayer that someone else could intervene and make this happen for us remains unanswered.

"Shit!" I scream in the present and hear it echoing into the darkness. The complicated layers of time, friends, parents, and the opinions of others swirl inside my head.

I climb up the steps to meet Carmine Salvatore for our biweekly delivery from the butcher shop, when Ava Marie and Bella Salvatore's voices drift through the open doorway.

Bella is irritated as she pushes the empty hand truck my way and scoffs, "Nonna needs to talk to you, but I'm not doing the heavy lifting, even if I'll drive." She opens a strip of gum and begins to chew with loud pops and snaps.

Ava Marie purrs with a mix of faux sweetness and indifference, her entire demeanor reminds me of Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada down to the oversized sunglasses she keeps on indoors. Despite the polite words, she's bitter and indifferent.

"Sugar, we're going to need to reserve The Featherweight for an upcoming town meeting."

"Of course, your standing weekly reservation and the setup are well documented and Delia can add in any supplemental meetings you need upstairs for the committee. She'll be here tomorrow, I'm sorry you came all this way when Carmine and the boys could have handled the lifting for Bella." Smiling, I hope to warm her a bit. Bella's blood red nails are such sharp points I think they could actually stab someone.

I watch Ava Marie's Cheshire Cat grin, happy on the surface but sinister behind the eyes, hoping they head out. The women share a soft chuckle.

She continues, "This can't be handled by someone other than the owner due to the nature of the town business. It appears that the proposal party indicates Lily Long is back, and she'll need to be held accountable, pending a vote on this old business of course. It's not up to only the council, we'll need to gather the Town Elders and a few others. We'll need the whole space and to ensure she isn't tipped off. She's not invited. We're concerned Delia is compromised there."

Bella's gum cracks loudly, then she snarls, "Unless I'm mistaken, you wouldn't want to do something as silly as tip her off when you need Nonna and the Mayor to sign off on your upcoming renovations."

Fuck , she's correct so I pull out the book from under the counter and flip pages. I'm petrified of the rumors that Carmine is in the mob, although if we're being honest Ava Marie is far scarier than he is.

"With the holidays starting this week, I'm booked solid for weeks out. If you want that much privacy, we'll probably need to look at next year." I gesture to prove this is truthful.

"Plus," I try to build on my case, "Lily was here in September and it's now December, why are you just tackling the issue? If it was able to wait then, can it wait a little longer? She won't be home for Christmas if that was the concern."

She gives a slight hum and the room is silent except for the occasional smacking of Bella's chewing gum. Filling the discomfort with oversharing is a rookie move. "Listen, I am the best man with her as maid of honor."

Bella scoffs "dishonor" under her breath, and I feel my lips twitch into a grin since I used the same nickname.

"Anyhow, I have it on good authority she won't be back until February at the earliest." I point to February's penciled-in events. "Susan has put a hold on the weekends near Valentine's Day for a formal engagement party, but it's not confirmed. Should we touch base when she locks it in with a deposit? Since there's no need to rush, I'd rather you get to focus on the holidays with your family." I pray this stalling tactic will work so I can formulate a way to intervene.

Bella has looked completely indifferent if not bored throughout this fifteen minute ordeal, but she gives a small wink as they turn to leave. Pausing, she calls over her shoulder popping a large bubble, "Don't go tipping off your girlfriend, you'll just hurt her more."

Shit. Shit. Shit! I don't want to keep another secret from Lily. I want to break down barriers between us, not add new layers. It's been ten years too many and this addition is moving things in the wrong direction.

Before I can decide what to do next, Seth slides onto a barstool and orders a beer. He doesn't care that we're technically closed, so I pop the top off my attempt at a Thanksgiving red ale.

"Season for the fall beers is almost up, so help clear this inventory if you're here." I slide the beer his way. He takes a long look at the bottle and winces before his sip.

"Actually, not the worst. Pumpkin Spice?"

"Jersey Cranberry Thanksgiving Red Ale," I correct him. Nodding, Seth continues to drink cautiously.

He slams the book in his hands on the bar. "Dude, what is happening with you lately? Is this still about Lily?"

"Ava Marie made Carmine's delivery with Bella. So I got to unload the truck myself, and Nonna Ava wanted to discuss Lily with me." I wince as I sip from the beer I opened for myself. It was such a better concept than execution, the overdo on the nutmeg is why he thought pumpkin and the cranberry is too tart. Thankfully it's a test batch.

"This is after-Christmas River's problem. I pushed it back until at least February for now. Today, my biggest issues are clearing out these beers, so thanks." We clink the glass necks and sip again.

"The other one is that Scout's talking about moving back here and he wants the apartment upstairs, so I guess I need to."

"Hell yes you do, Gemma will be so excited. She's been trying to scrounge up a project during the slow season. Please. She keeps trying to redecorate the store, her place, and mine over and over. I need her out of my hair." Seth owns the town bookstore, Pages, along with his sisters Pippa and Gemma.

Gemma and her wife Alice worked together on the renovation projects for both businesses, but from there it's been hard to grow her portfolio with so many people wanting to keep things the same.

"Your sister isn't that bad, and she did a great job with both our businesses."

"Okay, but even Alice is saying she's tired of the constant changes." He stresses his sister-in-law's name using both syllables.

"That bad?" I confirm.

Nodding around his beer, I get the picture from his quiet movements.

Behind The Featherweight sits a cottage against the banks of the Delaware that my parents lived in for a little while before we were three rowdy boys in a 2.5-bedroom place. They needed more space, and for all his talk about financial savvy Dad just let it fall into disrepair instead of renting it out. Over the last few years I've made the bigger updates to structure and important things like electricity and plumbing.

"So then did Alice put you up to this or did you volunteer?"

He shrugs his shoulder, continuing to keep sipping and delay. "Something like that, yeah."

River:

Wish me luck, it's family dinner night and Dad wants an update on the bar.

Lily:

You don't need luck, you've got places to run away to wink emoji

photo of Lily and Pete at the US/Canada border

Made it to Vancouver earlier today. Going to edit some photos and get things unpacked. Should this be the place I finally invest in an actual laundry basket?

photo of Fairmont Empress

National Geographic called this one of the world's most iconic places to stay :)

Vancouver? I thought she was staying in Utah? Fumbling for a reply I sidestep my thought because I don't want to spook her.

River:

Isn't citizenship hard to come by?

Lily:

True, maybe not the time for a laundry basket afterall…

Mom loves her Monday family dinner, since the family business makes our weekends Monday-Tuesday. She staunchly believes that any home cooked meal made to a Sinatra song can improve even the worst day.

"Smells amazing in here, Mama," I gush, bending to give her a kiss on the cheek. She turns to the beat and grabs the bottle of red and shoves a small glass in my hands.

"Try this, it's new from Harry."

My eyebrows lift, curious why the distributor went to her.

"He still brings me the samples, River, and I will not correct it when it means free wine. I pushed your large head out of me and you can pry sample bottles from my cold dead hands."

She winks and I give a playful salute. "Yes ma'am."

Sipping, I hum a pleased note. "This is good," and I reach for the bottle.

"See. I help you test only the good ones. It might be worth looking at the inventory list and swapping this in as the house red for the holidays."

Nodding, I settle in for her updates on Gary, Dad's nurse, and my brothers' lives.

I am about to tell her about the lingering effects of Lily's visit and my subsequent trip north when we're interrupted.

"Betty!" Dad hollers his nickname for her and we leave the wine to help him up.

"Hold that thought and help me," she waves me over and we set our glasses on the counter.

Given Dad's extremely opposite disposition to hers, I won't let him hear about the Salvatore delivery change earlier. If he could, Dad would personally deliver Lily to the town leadership. Instead I stick to the usuals like the accounting from our Halloween party and holidays decorating plans at the bar .

"We're completely booked through the new year too." I'm ecstatic, but he just nods.

"Good, as you should be. If you find you are slowing down, let me know and we'll review things together, Son."

The night passes this way, without much opportunity for anything else. As I'm slipping into my coat and shoes to leave I hear mom following me out onto the cold porch. Maternal instincts are on high alert, she's lightly sweeping the hair off my forehead before looking in my eyes for a long beat.

"Sweetheart, I need you to tell me what is going on because the anxiety around you is palpable. I kept hoping you'd tell me during dinner, but I realize now it's something you don't want Dad to know."

I swat her hand off my hair. "Enough, enough." Sighing, I say, "Dad wearing his noise canceling headphones again?"

"Your dad is listening to his book with those DJ-sized headphones you got him on. Now, please, tell me what is going on. Otherwise, I will just call you hourly until I break you. Don't think I won't, you can ask Leaf."

" Robert, " I interject, sarcasm thickly lacing the name.

Laughing while lightly tapping my arm, she says, "I grew you three, I call you what I want. Stop deflecting. Out with it, George River Hendrix."

The deep exhale comes out in a puff of white given the chill in the air, and I gesture towards the two wicker chairs on the porch. Sitting, I turn to her and tumble through the long story.

"I assume you realized Lily was my first crush. And. Well, I still had a thing for her when I was the best man at her wedding?"

Laughing gently, Mama says, "Oh honey, I had a feeling."

I nod. "So, at the bachelor party, Grant admitted he still had feelings for Landan when he was drunk. I should have stopped the wedding. I didn't. I've hated myself for it for so long, but I know it isn't like I cheated on her." I emphasize the word I, because I do know I didn't do it. I just didn't stop it. She nods and I continue.

"Seeing her here reignited how close our friendship once was, and you know I went to visit her and missed that dinner a few weeks ago. I guess, I guess thinking about how she'll be alone for the holidays was bothering me. Are you…" I hesitate.

Peering at my mom's gentle face, now deeply lined with age and yet still seeming bright and youthful, her maroon glasses and short gray bob with matching maroon stripes peeking through from the bottom, she's chic and relaxed.

"Mama, are you aware that Belinda doesn't talk to her? Not at all? She ignored her during the party and Lily spent the night crying in my apartment."

She clicks her tongue and shakes her head. "Damn shame, I always wanted a daughter like her. She was a smart, hardworking young woman. She had to be strong, too, she helped you keep getting B's all those years." Blowing out a breath of her own she sighs. "I'm really sorry to hear that."

"That's sort of it really, just feel bad for her that she will have to keep confronting this over and over because she won't let it stop her from being there for Stef."

There's so much more I'm leaving out but it's enough to placate her for the moment. With a pointed finger she informs me, "This isn't over, but I will accept that for tonight. This week when those men from Woodbury come in to antagonize Jim, you take care to listen. Latest gossip out of Curl Up & Dye is that it's about which town will get the county craft fair this spring. So if you hear more, you will…" she stares at me.

I deadpan repeat the message I have heard since my first shift serving food, "Take copious notes and tell my mother immediately after my shift."

"That's right, my bestest boy. Go home, get warm." She rises and heads in.