Chapter Eighteen

"What was that about?" Nolan asked.

"Nothing." Harper swiveled around to face his partner. "Now, about those burglaries—"

"You are such a bad liar." A gleam brightened Nolan's eyes. "I heard you make plans for later tonight. You got a date?"

"No, I don't have a date."

"The worst liar." Nolan snickered. "You're a tough guy when it comes to the perps, but you're just a big ole softie everywhere else."

"Can we please get to work?"

"Nah, this is more fun." Nolan leaned back in his chair.

"Glad my personal life is amusing to you," he grumbled, cringing at the realization that he'd played right into Nolan's suspicions.

"Aha!" he crowed. "I knew it. Listen, I'm glad you finally have a personal life."

"I'm not sure what it is. I still have concerns."

"About David, you mean?" Nolan's brows knitted. "Has the guy met him yet?"

"Not really." He chewed his lip and explained Colson's chance meeting in the park with Luis. "But he doesn't know I'm David's brother, and he has no idea what taking care of David means. The last time, I made the mistake of bringing Ronnie in too soon. I thought I knew who he was, but I was wrong. I don't want David to become attached only to have the person disappear again."

"That's a tough one," Nolan sympathized. "But what's the alternative—being alone because of one mistake? That's not fair to you."

But Harper was used to life not being fair. He'd seen it at work, with so many unsolved cases, leaving the bad guys to roam the city without consequences. And he'd had more than his share of personal pain at home. David's accident, robbing him of a full and active life. His parents' deaths and assuming sole responsibility of David. Every day he woke up and thanked God for Luis, who lightened the load, but in the end, David was his brother. And while he wouldn't ever regret the decisions he'd made, the time he spent with Colson gave him a taste of a life he'd almost forgotten existed.

A life he yearned for. And felt guilty for imagining.

"I'll deal with it. I just have to figure some things out."

"Don't take too long," Nolan warned, his tone indicating he'd made that mistake. "It can cost you."

Harper's curiosity got the best of him. "Speaking from personal experience?" He and Nolan didn't often delve into their private lives, and as far as Harper knew, Nolan and his wife were rock solid.

"I met Gina in college, but I wasn't interested in settling down and walked away from her. When I joined the force, I had no shortage of women—you know how some love the uniform and the badge. But it started to get boring and empty. Every face was the same. I missed Gina. So I looked her up and called her. She told me she wasn't interested in being with someone who wasn't serious about making her and a relationship a priority. And I thought about it and realized she was right. Eventually I'd be older and alone. And I didn't want that."

"But you're happy, right?"

"You bet your sweet ass I am." Nolan's gaze was steady. "And if you have that chance, grab it. Don't waste ten years like I did."

"Rose, Martinez. My office," Captain Poole called out, and startled, they jumped to their feet.

"What do you think it is?" he asked Nolan.

"Who knows."

They entered Poole's office. "Shut the door, please."

Captain Ira Poole was a grizzled, thirty-year veteran who rose through the ranks and had the respect of everyone under his command. He'd been offered the Chief of Detectives numerous times but preferred being with his squad and getting his hands dirty. Harper admired the man tremendously, not only for his work ethic, but also for how he'd handled the situation between him and Lombardi.

"What's up, Cap?" Nolan leaned against the small conference table.

"A new robbery ring." Poole sighed and scrubbed his face. "You'd think maybe these bastards would get tired and try something legit. Anyway, here's their MO. They have someone in their posse follow the vic on their way home. They wait until they're at a corner, and bam , someone rides up on a scooter and rips their bag, phone, or even one of those expensive little dogs right out of the vic's hands. They ride away and disappear."

Harper made a face. "Jesus, that's cold, stealing a dog." He thought of Millie. "Where have they hit so far?"

"The whole of downtown plus—Dumbo, the Heights, all around Fulton to Flatbush…those scooters make it easy."

"Okay. Any description?"

"Just vague." Poole consulted his notes. "Usually they ride in pairs. They wear hats pulled low to try and hide their faces, but the consensus is late teens, early twenties. Light-skinned Hispanics or White. One has a tattoo of the devil on his arm, and another has multiple earrings, all the way up to the cartilage. Braids to the neck."

He and Nolan took notes. "You've sent us the case files?" Nolan inquired.

"All yours. That's all."

He and Nolan returned to their desks and opened the files. "You want to hit downtown first, then work into the Heights and Dumbo?" he asked Nolan. "With all the banks and the courts, they should have plenty of video footage for us to watch."

"Yeah. I'm going to need glasses by the time I finish this one," Nolan muttered, and Harper cackled, knowing how vain his partner was about his appearance. Nolan wore only designer suits, monogrammed shirts, and you could see your reflection in his shoes. Harper loved to tease him.

"Don't worry, you're still adorable." Harper blew him a kiss, and Nolan threw him an evil look.

"Oh, yeah? I'm not the one who has the little old ladies in love with him."

Harper glared. "Whatever. Let's make some phone calls. I'll take the courts and you take the banks."

"Whatever you say, lover boy."

***

"Long day, Harper?" Luis questioned as they ate dinner. "We had fun—it was story time at the library, and then we took a ride to Coney Island. We played arcade games, and I won David a stuffed bird. Then we went on the boardwalk and got custard and watched the ocean."

David was still chewing the piece of chicken Harper had given him, and he waited until he swallowed.

"Did you like it? It's fun, and you can do a lot of people-watching. Plus, the smell of the ocean. I always loved it."

David blinked and his mouth opened. No matter what the doctors told Harper about the severity of David's brain injury, Harper fervently believed he understood what was going on around him. He lived with David, not the doctors.

He fed David the rest of the chicken and some string beans. In physical therapy they were working on seeing if David could gain enough strength and mobility to use a fork, but Harper was afraid of pushing him. Plus, he enjoyed the bonding time.

Once the table was cleared, they watched a little television until David's bath time. Harper put him to bed, kissing his cheek.

"You smell nice and clean. I'm glad you had a fun day."

David kissed him and sighed, closing his eyes.

He left the room after shutting the lights and went to take a shower. Luis was still watching television, having turned on the ball game, and his eyes lit up when he saw Harper had changed clothes. He put up a hand.

"Don't even ask. As I've mentioned many times, your TV is twice the size of mine, and you have better snacks." He popped a pizza roll into his mouth. "I know 'cause I bought them. So I'm happy to stay up here and keep the monitor on." His eyes crinkled shut with laughter.

Harper rolled his eyes. "Oh, for God's sake. Everyone has an opinion about my life."

"Only because we've been waiting for you to wake up and start living."

"Has everyone I know started working at a greeting-card company? I don't know what you all think I've been doing, but I don't need a relationship to feel alive or validated. I love being with David. Nothing brings me greater happiness than seeing him happy and knowing he's secure."

"And do you know how David feels?"

In the middle of sticking his wallet and keys into his pocket, he stopped and stared at Luis. "Huh? Of course I do. I know he loves me."

"David wants you to be happy too."

Harper's eyes burned. "What're you talking about? You talked to David about me dating someone? You shouldn't have."

"Why not? Sometimes it seems like you're using David as an excuse for hiding."

"Hiding from what? That's ridiculous."

"No. It's not. Everyone you've loved has hurt you in some way, either by accident or deliberately. Your father died young, your mother took her own life because she couldn't deal with the stress of taking care of David on her own for the rest of her life, Ronnie broke your heart by pretending to care for David only to try to move David out of your life."

"You haven't ever let me down. You're the one person I can count on."

"And I'll be here, but you need to be good to yourself. I thought we had this talk and you knew what you had to do?"

Saying it was one thing. Doing it was another, and Harper hadn't reached that level in a very long time.

"I'm fine," Harper mumbled. "I've always handled things the best way I knew how."

Luis squeezed his arm. "That was then. Try another way now. Let people in."

***

On his walk to Colson's, he ran through a slew of conversations in his mind—what to reveal and what to hide—but when Colson opened the door, he knew there was only one thing that needed to be said.

"I missed you."

Colson's brows shot up. "Come in."

Head bowed, he walked straight into the living room and sat on the couch, with Colson beside him.

"I have a lot to say, but please let me speak without asking me any questions."

"Okay."

He concentrated on the wood grain of the floor, the fringes on the rug…anything but Colson's curious face.

"I live with my younger brother, David. He's brain-damaged and a quadriplegic from an accident that happened when he was five. We have a live-in aide who cares for him while I'm not home and is basically like a father to him and an older brother to me. David's ten years younger than me, and I would do anything to protect him—I have since both our parents are gone." He raked a hand through his hair. "Three years after the accident my father died suddenly, leaving my mother as David's sole caretaker. She—she couldn't handle my brother's injuries. It changed her. She became depressed and withdrawn." He swiped at his face. "I'd just started college and was living at home, trying to help her out. She thought having an aide to help her meant she wasn't a good enough mother. Of course, no one else thought that, but she sank lower and lower, and despite all the help she got with therapy, I came home one day and…" His voice caught. Dammit . He hadn't thought he'd get this emotional about it after so many years.

Colson pulled him close. "I don't care if you told me not to interrupt. Harper, dammit, I'm so sorry."

"I knew you wouldn't listen to me," he groused, but didn't mind and settled into Colson's arms. It felt so damn good to be held. He couldn't remember the last time he'd let someone touch him without it leading to sex. Not that he didn't want Colson, but now was a time for baring souls, not bodies.

"Get used to it," Colson murmured against his temple. "What a terrible, horrible thing to have happened."

"I wish…I wish they could see us now. David is so happy, it's so hard to see him trapped in his mind and body. I'd like to think I've helped him feel loved and protected."

"I'm sure he knows," Colson soothed. "He's your brother. You have a special bond."

He shifted away from Colson. "Six years ago, I had a relationship, and he pretended to be in sync with me and how I was taking care of David. I was wary but thought he cared. I thought it would be okay. So I allowed him to meet David, and after several months, he started to hint that a special home would be best and David wasn't getting the best care he could with me. That he should be with other people like him."

He coughed, and Colson touched his knee. "I'll bring you some water."

Light-headed, he nodded and waited, drawing deep, ragged breaths. Colson pressed a cold glass into his heated palm. The condensation made it slippery, and he clutched it tighter, his knuckles turning white. His hand trembled slightly. He took a sip and set it on the table. Without saying anything, Colson held him again.

"When I told him no, that David stays with me, he grew angry. Then I found he'd left David alone in the park when he should've been watching him. I knew he didn't understand. It's been just the three of us since."

Much in the same way he comforted David, Colson rubbed his back, and Harper wished he could stay there, listening to the thump of Colson's heart under his cheek. It was nice for a brief moment in time to think of no one but himself. His wants. His needs.

"I think I've met your brother. His aide's name is Luis?"

Harper's lips twitched. "Yeah. He told me he talked to you."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Harper disengaged from Colson and captured his gaze. "Because of everything I just told you. I couldn't risk bringing someone into David's life again who might hurt him. As much as we…mesh."

"Is that what you're calling it?" Colson's lips curved in a grin, but his eyes were tender, and Harper's heart gave a funny bounce. "I hope you know I'd never do anything to hurt David. From the few times I've met him, he looks happy and well-loved."

"He is. He has Luis and me. We'd do anything for him."

"I can tell. So where do we go from here? What happens now? Because I had time to think on the train going to my parents' and coming home, and I'm not satisfied with only half of you. I don't want to be shut out of your life. I'm a greedy bastard. I want it all."

"That's why I'm here. I'm ready to take the chance. If you want to."