12: ZENON

I hope this isn't a one-time thing, or her sinking deeply into her feelings. But the kiss that we shared opened something up between Danica and me that hadn't been there in a long time.

It wasn't wild, demanding, or heated the way that our kisses became in our later years. It was soft and gentle, curious and desirable like they were when we first began dating.

But the more we explore the kiss, the more that we know we want each other. When she pulled back from the kiss, she dove in once more.

Dani's fingers moved to the hem of my t-shirt as she tugged at it. Once I pulled it free, her nimble fingers worked across the planes of my chest, drawing circles in the whorls of hair that she found there.

Slowly, she works her way down to my sweat shorts. Our tongues swipe across one another, tasting each other, licking at one another, and imploring each other to hold nothing back.

I grab her hand as she cups my arousal in her hand, and I finally break the kiss though it pains me to do so.

"What are you doing, Dani?"

Her eyes search mine for a moment as though she's seeking the answers hidden there.

"I want you, Z. I miss you. You were my friend and one of the few people who truly saw me. I want that in my life again."

"Are we any good for each other, though? We're both going through a lot in our lives right now."

"I wouldn't rather go through it with anyone but you," she says, removing her shirt.

My hands palm her breasts. Those breasts always fit perfectly in my hands as though they were made for me.

"You are such a beautiful soul, Z. And I know that I don't deserve you, but I thank God that you're here in this moment with me as I find my healing," she says.

I can't help but wonder what happens after she finds that healing. What happens when she's ready to return to the spotlight and she feels whole again? Will there be a place for me?

But I don't ask the question because it doesn't matter right now. I don't care who she's been with or who she's shared intimate moments with before. The only thing that matters is she's here with me right now. She's choosing me in one of her most vulnerable moments.

My fingers flick over her nipples as tears flow down her face.

"You've seen me at my best, Z, but you haven't seen me at my worst," she whispers.

I grab the back of her head and pull her to me. My lips clamp over hers as I taste her. She is a mixture of the briny ocean water, sunshine, and something faintly strawberry.

I lick around the inside of her mouth, loving how she tastes and how her nipples bud underneath my expert touch.

This time, when I pull back, I dip my head down to take her breast into my mouth. My cock flexes in my shorts at the sound of her sweet moans that escape those pillowy soft lips.

Dani arches underneath me just enough so that she can reach inside my pants and grip me once again. I groan over her breast as my tongue flicks her nipple back and forth. Slowly, I drag it between my teeth as I pull away.

Lifting her from my body, I carry her into my room and lay her on the bed.

I hover over her as my fingers dance across her bare belly. My other hand pulls the loose strands of damp hair free from her face.

"I want you, Danica. But I want you on my terms, and I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"What are your terms?" she asks lightly.

"I won't share you again."

Her piercing gaze shutters on me, and it doesn't let me know what she's thinking.

"When I hold on, I hold on tightly, and I don't let go. There's too much at stake for me at this point in my life."

"Z, you're asking a lot of me."

I swallow over the lump in my throat.

"I know, but you're asking a lot of me. You want me to give myself to you and only take part of you. When I give, you know that I give everything. It won't be so easy for me to walk away from you this time. And I won't stand by and let you do things to intentionally hurt me the way you did before."

"I swear that I would never do that to you again."

"But you can't promise me the rest?"

Her gaze lowers. "Not right now. I can only promise that I will do everything in my will not to hurt you. I need you, and I want you, Z, but I'm still putting the pieces of me back together."

My hand moves from her belly to take her hand in mine. I kiss her knuckles and turn her hand over to kiss each of her fingertips before licking her palm.

"Let me help you find the pieces and put them together again."

Her searing gaze dissolves into tears. "I promise to try," she says.

That's all that I need to hear before I move into place over her. Danica's hands grip the edge of my shorts and tug at them. Our kiss is searing, and our breaths are short and fast.

I pull back long enough to remove my clothes as she removes her panties and shorts. Once I've covered my dick, I climb onto the bed with her and pull her onto her side with me.

Dani hums through our kiss as if a song is bursting forth from her heart. I lift her leg and place it over my hip as I rock into her. We move back and forth as I work my way inside of her.

Once I'm completely inside, she forms a seal around me that's snug and warm.

"Zenon," she breathes as I push deeper and deeper until our bodies are locked together.

My hand smoothes down her back and further until I'm cupping her ass and pulling her against me.

"I missed this," she says softly.

"Why are you crying?" I ask.

"Because being here with you like this makes me realize how much I've thrown away. It makes me think of all the things that I've taken for granted through the years and of all the people that I've hurt."

"Just exist in the moment, Dani. Just let me feel you," I say, flipping her onto her back.

I spread her legs wide as I sink into her wet folds, and she cries out. My grip on her ankles is tight as I push her legs further back, going deeper and deeper into her.

"Zenon," she gasps breathlessly.

Settling onto my knees, I rock into her as I slowly pick up speed. I always loved being with Danica like this, but I also loved the quiet times when we would just exist with nothing between us but silence.

In the past, we would lie together and hold one another as we stared at the ceiling with both of us lost in our thoughts. We would kiss for long moments and then lay in each other's arms, drifting off to sleep with no need for sex. Just being together was enough.

It's why when I discovered that she was cheating, it broke me so deeply and so immensely.

Slowly, I release her legs, and she wraps them around me and pulls me closer. Her arms lock around my neck, and I nuzzle hers, drowning her in my kisses as I lick away the saltiness left by the ocean.

I close my eyes, pushing away the thoughts that try to intrude on this beautifully intimate moment. The thoughts that tell me that I'm being a fool for her and that she's only going to break my heart are overwhelming, so much so that I grunt loudly to push them out.

"Are you about to cum?" she asks.

"No, baby. Not yet."

Danica pushes me off her and onto my back. She lays on top of me and brings her legs up to straddle either side of me. I grab my dick and slide it back into her, and she works me over as she lavishes my face with kisses.

"Thank you for being here," she whispers against my lips.

"No place I'd rather be."

We eventually roll back onto our sides and then with her on her back once more. It's there that she finally surrenders to everything that has occurred between us, and she cries through her orgasm.

My heart beats loudly in my chest, and hope flickers, leaving me wondering if there could be more between us again. I feel the bond that we once shared flickering to life again, and along with that, something more potent and more real.

It feels like a promise that things will eventually get better for both Danica and me. I don't know if that means united or apart, but it gives me hope.

I push up into her hard with one powerful thrust and close my mouth over hers, silencing the soft mewling noise that she makes.

When she's finished, Danica, in turn, swallows and pulls from me the deep, powerful roar that wells up inside of me and explodes out over my lips.

My balls tighten, and my chest aches as I give in to my release.

It's intense because it's so much more than the release of a nut. It's the release of the fear that I hold that Danica will never be mine and that she might hurt me. It's the release of the pain of our tangled pasts.

It's replaced by joy and harmony, and for a moment, I feel complete.

This woman completes me.