12. Quinn

CHAPTER 12

Quinn had no idea what passion was. He had never been shamelessly thirsty for someone the way he was for Weston. It was borderline embarrassing, and everyone on chat the night before was quick to let him know. Turning around after he left was both hopelessly romantic and also made him a simp.

He thought it was pretty obvious how Weston had him wrapped around his little finger.

"We ran errands this morning, and Quinn is going to cook me dinner later," Weston told stream while they waited for their Fixer Upper update to download so the expansion could run more smoothly. "What is he making? Chicken parm. We got a salad too. So fancy. No wine. We got pomegranate juice and sparkling water. No, we're not streaming dinner."

"No, we are not," Quinn agreed with a suggestive eyebrow raise. He had Weston's free hand in between both of his own as Weston used his other hand for his mouse. His skin was so soft, and his nails were freshly painted purple. Before they hopped on stream, Weston put on the tiny bit of eyeliner Quinn was used to and something he insisted was just lip balm but looked almost as shiny as gloss. Quinn was getting distracted by Weston's mouth. They had hours left of decorating a fake house online in front of a live audience before Quinn could put his mouth on Weston's clavicle the way he couldn't stop thinking about.

"Earth to Quinn," Weston said, and Quinn's face got hot immediately. He had been staring at Weston, completely zoned out.

"I am still here," Quinn promised. Weston had a curl of a grin on his face as Quinn flicked his eyes over to chat and saw a flood of laughter.

"Well, that's good because it is time to buy a fixer upper and get to work."

"You said you don't cook, but everything you make is so good," Weston said, setting his empty plate on the coffee table and slouching back against the futon. Quinn scooped up his final bite and stacked his plate on Weston's. When he settled into the futon, Weston naturally fit against him, their bodies arranging themselves without conscious thought.

"I haven't attempted anything fancy yet, so I haven't had the chance to really fuck it up." The truth was that he was trying really hard. He was desperate to impress Weston and trying his hardest to stay cool. As much as Quinn enjoyed Weston's on-camera charm, he liked off-camera Weston even more. He liked the Weston who slept with a stuffed bat and held his hand at the falls. He liked the Weston who sent him silly photos after he got ready for stream but before he went live.

He liked Weston so much more than he'd originally planned. Being with him cleared the cobwebs out of his brain. Quinn woke up in the morning excited to hear from him, to see if he had a good-morning text from him yet or if Quinn would beat him to the first text of the day. His creativity had been kick-started by his desire to make something for Weston that he would think was cool, and he was even enjoying learning how to make sure food was safe for Weston to eat, because there was gluten in so much weird shit Quinn would have never guessed.

Quinn pulled him in close, his fingers deep in Weston's black hair. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head and Weston nuzzled into his chest for a moment before pulling back to look at Quinn. Weston's smile told him that he knew exactly how ensnared he had Quinn.

It was easy to catch Weston's lips in a kiss, and easy to press him back to lie on the futon. Intimacy, like so many other things with Weston, was natural and easy. Somehow, the green eyes that always looked sharp when he was playing a video game were soft when they looked up at Quinn. He was dizzy with how much he wanted the man beneath him. He didn't just feel good around Weston. He felt light. He felt like he was falling.

Weston reeled him back in, his soft pink mouth waiting to be kissed. They kissed until Quinn was panting, until Quinn pulled Weston up off the futon and dragged him to the bed. They were in the sweet spot of not being strangers to each other's bodies but still having plenty of space to explore, which Quinn took full advantage of, covering Weston's entire body in kisses before paying any attention to his cock, red and leaking, as Weston gripped the sheets to keep from touching himself. Quinn wasn't making him keep his hands away, but he liked that Weston refused to spoil it for himself. He had a lot of self-control that Quinn lacked.

It was still a revelation to make Weston come, still an answer to a prayer to have that orgasm reciprocated with enthusiasm, care, and skill. It was still heavenly to collapse into the sheets, to have Weston cling to him in the afterglow. His feelings were bubbling up and beginning to feel undeniable to him. It was as good a time as ever to tell Weston how he felt.

"You know what I love?" Weston said before Quinn could get a word out.

"Mmm?"

"I love how good this feels."

"Me too," Quinn said, feeling his hopes rise. He and Weston were on the same page.

"I can get really in my own head when it comes to sex, and I don't feel that way around you. It's just comfortable."

"I'm glad you feel that way. That means a lot."

"It's nice that it's so low stakes, you know? This nice, awesome, casual thing. It doesn't feel like life or death. It's just…happy."

Nice, awesome, casual. Casual.

"Super happy," Quinn said. He felt himself peel away from his own body, the texture on the ceiling coming into focus. So they were not on the same page. It was okay. He probably shouldn't be starting something, anyway. He hadn't even hit his one-year divorceaversary yet.

Weston yawned and curled closer to Quinn, nothing but bare skin on bare skin. Moments ago, he'd felt like he was floating in a hot spring. All he could conjure now was an ice bath.

"I know it's not even that late, but I kinda wanna go to sleep. What do you think?"

He kissed Weston on the forehead and tried to keep his breathing even. "I think I might head home."

"Huh? Now?"

"It isn't too late yet, and I think the drive will be really easy at this time of night. I have a bunch of errands to run tomorrow and I think I'll feel super productive knocking them out in the morning." He had one errand and that was groceries. He could do that at any time of day.

"Oh, alright, yeah. I guess that makes sense."

Weston sat up and fussed with his hair to get it to lie down normally—it was ruffled after Quinn had spent so much time with his hands in it. He loved any widow's peak sighting he got and felt a rush of fondness for him as Weston got out of bed and pulled his underwear back on. Quinn followed suit, picking his clothing up from the floor and redressing.

The last thing he wanted to do was head out into chilly weather and drive for two hours. Not when he could snuggle in bed with a cute boy he liked, who he knew liked him back. But he was feeling bruised and tender at the realization that he liked Weston differently than Weston liked him. They were good together on stream, and good together in bed, and outside of that was friendship.

Quinn didn't deserve to ask for more than that from the universe. Instead, he did a quick visual sweep of Weston's small apartment to make sure he wasn't about to forget anything important and zipped his duffel closed.

"I'll walk you out," Weston said as he finished redressing.

It was pitch black outside, and a chilly wind whipped through the parking lot. Weston shivered as he clung to Quinn in a goodbye hug. Quinn rubbed his hands up and down Weston's back to warm him up.

"Thanks for staying the extra day."

"Thanks for letting me."

"You are literally always welcome here." Weston looked up at him with a smile sweeter than Quinn ever saw on stream and went up on his toes to give Quinn one more kiss.

"I'll see you soon," Quinn promised, even though he had no idea when he would see Weston next.

As soon as he pulled out of the parking lot, Quinn regretted not staying, at least until the next morning. But tonight, he couldn't impulsively turn around. He may always be welcome at Weston's, but he needed a beat to recover. To reset his expectations. Because he knew he wasn't going to stop seeing Weston. He couldn't. And maybe the situation they had going on would be exactly what he needed to help him get back to normal.

He wasn't going to ask for anything more than that. But he would hold out hope that maybe Weston would change his mind.