Chapter 47

Sam

I pulled into the park a few blocks away from Mr. Carmichael's house. The engine was shut off, but I still sat there, my thumb rubbing over the leather on my steering wheel. I'd really screwed things up this time. Possibly as bad as I had when I bit Megan.

Last night's kiss had been unbelievable, incredible, mind blowing, and I'd completely messed it up. I couldn't even think about it without getting turned on again and then cringing as I remembered the way her skin felt beneath my fingers. I should never have done that. I'd had no intention of doing it in the first place. Megan had specifically said no hands on skin. Well, my hands had been on her skin. And it had felt so good.

The look on her face was seared into my brain. Her hazel eyes wide, mouth slightly opened, jerked away from mine as I crossed the line. My head thudded against the back of my headrest. I was torn up inside between the emotions our kiss had brought up and the wrenching pain that Meg was pulling away from her wolf.

Wind whipped through the remaining leaves on the trees bordering the creek at the back end of the park. I got out, intent on letting the air cool my blazing emotions. I pulled my jacket tighter around. The temperature was dropping. This was the perfect time of year for a run in fur, wind whistling over my ruff, bringing the smells of the season with it. The perfect time to run with my mate. Who didn't look like she was going to be my mate for much longer.

Dirt flew into the breeze as I scuffed the toes of my boot through a dry patch on the ground. Megan hadn't been able to shift. I knew in my gut what that meant. She wasn't going to stay a wolf. My toxins hadn't been enough in human form. Strangely, it made me feel impotent, like I was less of a man and less of a wolf because of it. It didn't help that Megan didn't want to stay a wolf. Didn't want to stay with me. That hurt most of all.

I was in love with Megan. I was reasonably sure she'd grown to care for me, maybe even deeply. But it wasn't enough. She didn't love me enough to stay. My heart twisted painfully in my chest. I'd known it was going to get mangled from the moment we kissed at the movie theater. It was a bloody, mangled mess right now. I drew in a frigid breath, holding the cold air in my lungs, wishing the pain would dissolve.

The park bench where I sat overlooked the creek. The musk of the wolves that had patrolled by here recently was still traceable. The water rippled gently over rounded stones and between clumps of larger rocks. It was peaceful. I let my mind wander as I watched the water. I couldn't help but track to thoughts of Megan. The way she'd looked in the moonlight that first time as her wolf. The moment I knew she was my mate. I thought of her laugh, her smile, and the way her eyes twinkled, a lot like Mr. Carmichael's I realized.

My memories of Megan kept playing over in my head, twisting my heart up more while I tried to come to terms with things. I wondered what she was talking to Mr. Carmichael about. Was she begging him to intervene somehow? I sat for nearly an hour, just being still by the creek, sifting through my own thoughts.

My pocket buzzed and startled me. It was Megan. Heat rushed over me at her name on the screen.

"Sam?"

"Hey, you ready for me to come back by?"

"Yes. Also, do you mind if we stay for dinner? I think Grandpa could use the company. And I'll make pasta Alfredo."

"As if I need to be bribed to eat your cooking." I couldn't stop the grin that came with it. She laughed, and it didn't sound strained. That was good!

"All right. See you in a few minutes. And, Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For giving me time with Grandpa."

"Of course."

****

Five minutes later, I was parked in the Carmichael's driveway. Megan was fairly upbeat on the phone. I was more curious than ever but doing my best not to get my hopes up. She would leave me. That would be the end of it. I knocked on the door, and Megan answered.

Her smile reached her eyes. She looked…at peace. They must have had some conversation. I wasn't sure how to act. Things had been so awkward all day.

"Hey," she said softly.

I smiled back, strained. "Hey, yourself." She shut the door behind me and then looked at me, hesitating. I cocked my head to the side, not sure what she was thinking, not sure what to expect. She bit the corner of her lip and then braced one arm against my chest and reached up on tiptoe to kiss my cheek. I gulped as a mad stampede of bulls charged around my stomach. Not what I was expecting at all, but I'd take it!

"Good conversation then?" I managed. She grinned.

"Definitely. Come on. You can play Grandpa a game of checkers in the kitchen while I fix dinner."

****

The moon was edging its way up the sky as we drove back to the cabin. Megan was thoughtful, but the tension had ebbed from her shoulders. She was relaxed, her chin propped in her hand, staring out the window as we left the edges of town and entered the stretch of lonely highway back toward the forest.

"So…" I began, "do I get details of today's conversation with Grandpa?" I was dying of curiosity.

Meg blinked and looked over at me. One corner of her mouth tipped up. She looked down at my hand, hesitated a second, and then slid hers over mine. My heart immediately galloped in my chest, and I flipped my hand over, lacing our fingers together.

"We talked about a lot of stuff. Being a wolf, being human…kissing."

I grimaced. "You told your grandpa what I did, didn't you?" I cringed at what Mr. Carmichael must think of me, though he'd given no indication of his displeasure as he beat me at checkers or later during dinner.

"What we did," she replied. "It came up in conversation."

"And?"

"And it gave me a lot to think about."

And she was done elaborating. I guess it couldn't have been all bad. She was holding my hand. I gave it a gentle squeeze, but let the conversation drop. She'd tell me more if she wanted me to know. I hoped she wanted me to know.

****

She still couldn't shift when she tried once we were back at the cabin.

"She's still in there, but she can't get out," Megan's voice broke. Her tears didn't fall, but she wasn't happy that her wolf was trapped inside. "Do you need to let yours out for a while? Don't feel like you can't if you need to," she offered with the slightest wobble in her voice. My heart broke all over again. I hesitated a moment, but then carefully held my arms out for a hug. When she stepped inside the circle of my arms without reserve, I tightened them around her.

"I'm fine. I'd rather be in here with you," I whispered to her hair.

She sighed against my chest.

"I think I'm going to turn in." It was nine o'clock. Early, but Meg usually liked to be in bed by ten.

"All right." I wondered if she'd end up in my bed again. I doubted it but couldn't help the hope that surfaced. I'd just as happily accept an invitation to hers. I was desperate to be with her—to be hers for keeps. She pulled back and looked at me—really looked at me. I suddenly felt naked as her eyes searched over my face. Vulnerability crawled across my features and I let it show. Everything I was feeling—the hurt, confusion, my love for her—I let her see it. She smoothed a piece of hair off my forehead, and I stayed still as a statue.

She came up on tiptoe, and I held my breath as she pressed a soft kiss to my lips. My eyes slid closed as I branded the touch of them into my memory. She pulled back as her hands slid down my arms as she moved away. Cold air rushed to fill the void she left.

"Good night, Sam."

If she had nightmares, they were silent. I remained alone.