Chapter 20

Giselle

Primrose had some loud friends. Said as affectionately as possible.

The party was lively, laughter and chatter all around, and it was electric with the energy in the air between all of them—it was fun, honestly, especially when they so readily let me in and got me caught up to speed with whatever everyone was talking about. Even the situation with Primrose and Matthew seemed like a non-issue—they didn’t talk to each other much, but they didn’t seem uncomfortable there.

Maybe Primrose really had moved on, just like that. I couldn’t blame her. Andrea seemed to have existed in a different timeline, a different universe.

Sooyeon had greeted me warmly, while Primrose went through introducing me to the rest of her friends, and Ava seemed to still be reserving judgment on me. Of course—this was Ava, after all—she seemed to take to me once I made a comment about how she didn’t like chocolate and everybody backed me up that nobody disliked chocolate, and the key to Ava’s heart was clearly bullying, because she laughed along with me even as she threw a snack bag at my face telling me to mind my own business.

But somehow, as we all squeezed in across the living room spread across the couch, the chairs, the floor—and in Ava’s case, on a table—it was Primrose squeezed up against my side who occupied all my thoughts. She still smelled faintly of the perfume she’d worn when we went out earlier, and I wanted to memorize every detail of it—hold her close and breathe her in until I could never forget her.

Which was a little creepy of me.

The party was still in full swing, having put down the card games and just settled for loud chatter, when Sooyeon gave me a wicked grin.

“Hey, Skates.”

“Oh—do I have a nickname now?”

“Ever played truth or dare?”

Oh, god. This was a minefield. I laughed nervously, scratching the back of my neck. “One time at a high school sleepover, yeah. Started a fight between two girls who both admitted to crushes on the same boy, and they hated each other for a year.”

Ava clapped her hands together. “That sounds like my kind of game. Let’s do it.”

I put my hands up. “If I’d said it was nice and didn’t cause problems, would you have discarded the idea?”

Primrose nudged my side. “It’s Ava. Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to.”

We shifted into a circle on the floor, drinks set in front of us, and Ava spun a bottle trying to decide who should go first and muttered a curse when it spun about half an inch on the carpet and stopped, and she elbowed Sooyeon next to her.

“Forget it, Sooyeon’s first,” she said. “Butterflies, truth or dare?”

Sooyeon inspected her fingernails lazily. “Truth.”

Ava kicked back, crossing her legs. “Who do you have a crush on?”

“Really?” Sooyeon swatted her leg. “Going for the cliché Skates just mentioned as destroying friendships right out of the gate?”

“Stop dithering and answer the question.”

Sooyeon sighed, long and slow, looking up to the ceiling, and—she came back down and, without hesitation, took a shot of her drink. The circle erupted into chatter instantly, Primrose leaning forwards and planting her hands on the carpet.

“Susu—oh my god, you have a crush and you’re not telling?”

Tan, the man next to Primrose with dark skin, a faint Indian accent, and a Paramore band shirt, threw his hands up. “We’re opting out on the first one?”

Sooyeon grinned, not looking directly at anybody, as she nudged the guy to her right, who Primrose had introduced as Ethan, with her knee. “Your turn. Truth or dare, buddy?”

Ethan shoved her shoulder. “Can’t just use me to get out of this, Butterflies.”

“Truth or dare?” Sooyeon repeated.

Ethan huffed. “Dare.”

The circle went around until it came to Primrose, Randall having finished his turn when what are you afraid of turned into Ava laughing herself to tears when he admitted to his coulrophobia—Ethan and Tan both making clown honking noises at him until I wasn’t sure if this game was going to end friendships too—and he was clearly a little too ready to get his comeuppance when he leaned forward to grin at Primrose. “All right, Sunburns, you’re my victim. Truth or dare?”

“Oh, god.” Primrose twirled her hair around one finger. “You’re going to make me punch Ethan and Tan if I say dare. Let’s do truth.”

Ava chimed in before Randall could. “Who’s your crush?”

My heart missed a beat, suddenly so nervous I might be sick. Primrose looked away. “Ah… are we just going to go around asking that of everyone?”

“That’s the point of this game,” Randall said. “Asking about crushes and ruining friendships. Yeah, we’re going with that one. Who’s your crush?”

Talk about a question to ask her when she was fresh out of a breakup and her ex was here in the game with us—I watched with my heart hammering as she clutched her glass, looking down into it, needing her to answer and needing her to not answer, before—

She tipped her shot back. The room exploded into noise, Ava falling forwards.

“Prim—you little—we can’t just skip all of the good questions! Answer it, dammit!”

“Rosie’s got a crush,” Tan sang. “She’s blushing and everything.”

She was… I felt like I’d die, my throat constricting with the nervous energy as Primrose looked up at me. “Your turn, Giselle,” she said. “Truth or dare?”

“Ah, Christ…” I was glad it was Primrose before me. I took a long breath. “Well, I guess with this track record, I’ll say truth.”

She put a hand over her mouth, doing a bad job covering up a smile, her blush deepening. “Who’s your crush?”

“Oh…” My chest felt like it would collapse in on itself. I struggled to draw in a deep breath as I felt all the eyes in the room lock on me, and I found I couldn’t look at Primrose, my face burning. “Well…”

“Don’t you dare fucking drink,” Ava said.

I guess I could have lied. Maybe I should have. But I… I didn’t want to construct a whole narrative and try to back it up…

Dammit. I sighed, and I took the shot. The room exploded into chatter from every angle, people shouting over each other, except for Sooyeon, who gave me a knowing smile, and Primrose, who just looked up at me wide-eyed, and I tried not to think about it.

Ava shot me a dirty look. “I swear. Nobody here has any guts.”

I somehow managed to pass it along even though my head felt fuzzy and it was hard to think straight, and I didn’t think it was one shot of Jack’s that had me like that. It got back to Ava, with Matthew passing it along, and he gave her a sly smile.

“So, truth or dare, Kittycat?”

Ava didn’t hesitate. “Dare.”

“Hmm.” He swirled his shot glass. “We probably want to go hard for Ava’s, right? She’s Ava.”

Ethan leaned forward. “Tell her to eat chocolate.”

Ava rolled her eyes. “You all have one braincell. Collectively.”

Tan butted in. “Clown impersonation.”

Randall threw a balled-up snack wrapper at him. Primrose glanced across the circle at Sooyeon, and then back to Ava.

“Kiss Butterflies.”

The circle bubbled with activity, and Ava grunted, folding her arms. “What, you think I’m squeamish?”

Sooyeon pulled a knee up into her chest and looked away. “Hm. What kind of kiss are we talking?”

“Oh, any,” Primrose said, a wicked smile bubbling there under the surface.

Tan piped up. “If you make out, the rest of us drink.”

Ava hunched her shoulders, looking over at Sooyeon, who cracked a smile at her and said, “You’re going to do the thing that feels the most like winning, aren’t you?”

“What, are you gonna fight me?” Ava said. Sooyeon shrugged, offhandedly.

“Nah. Go for it.”

Ava went for it. I’d kind of expected at least some nominal hesitation, but then again, this was Ava—she flipped her hood down and turned to Sooyeon, falling against her, burying her hand in her hair, and she pressed her lips up against Sooyeon’s with enough sudden force that Sooyeon tipped over backwards, taking Ava with her. The circle exploded in cheers, everyone picking up their drinks, as Sooyeon gripped Ava by the back of her hoodie and pulled her down into her. Primrose muttered next to me as she took a shot.

“Dammit, I knew it.”

Ava propped herself up on top of where Sooyeon lay on her back now, shooting us all a dirty look. “Drink, motherfuckers.”

I knocked back my shot. Primrose was onto something—Sooyeon looked a little too flushed and a little too happy as she sat back up to have just been taking the dare. Ava elbowed her.

“Okay, Butterflies. Truth or dare. Don’t even think about passing this time.”

“Truth.” Sooyeon sounded too happy, too. Matthew wouldn’t look at them. That spoke volumes. I wondered if that had anything to do with his and Primrose’s breakup… not to mention how quickly he’d seemingly moved on.

Ava didn’t miss a beat. “How good am I at kissing?”

Sooyeon laughed. “Oh, and I have to answer honestly, too…”

Ava glowered. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

Sooyeon shrugged. “Bit aggressive with the tongue. A little indelicate. It’s a good start, but could use some practice.”

Primrose huffed. “Oh my god, you two, get a room. Ava’s is right down the hall.”

Ava glowered at her. “You’re the one who told me to kiss her.”

I shrugged, putting a hand on Primrose’s shoulder. “Hate to take Ava’s side, but…”

Primrose laughed, nudging me back. “Didn’t mean I wanted them to turn the game into a bad porno.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You were… hoping for a good porno?”

Sooyeon laughed, and she turned to Ethan. “Okay, buddy. Your turn. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“What dark secret are you hiding that you keep picking dare with no hesitation?” Sooyeon shook her head, before she broke out into a big smile. “Make out with Tan.”

Ethan rolled his eyes. “We might as well be playing spin the bottle.”

Tan grinned at him from across the circle. “Well, you don’t wanna opt out, do you? Pucker up, buddy.”

Ethan made a face. “Tell me when you last brushed your teeth.”

“This morning. What, want me to go clean them now?”

“Eh, you just had alcohol. It’s disinfectant.” Ethan shuffled across the circle, and—with much more just getting this done energy than the way Ava had pinned down Sooyeon and practically ground against her body—planted a loud, sloppy kiss on Tan’s lips. The circle clapped, and Ethan pulled away before wiping his lips, going back to his spot, and he took his shot anyway, muttering about getting the taste out of his mouth.

The circle went around until Randall elbowed Primrose again, grinning at her. “You’re up, Rosie. Truth or dare?”

Primrose ducked her head. “Um… let’s say dare.”

Sooyeon called it instantly from across the circle. “Make out with Skates.”

My stomach dropped through the floor. Primrose’s whole posture tightened, and she looked over at me with wide eyes, her cheeks flushed, before Ava piped in.

“For longer than Susu and I did.”

Oh, god. I was going to die here. There was no way she did it. I could have said no. They at least seemed comfortable with drawing that kind of boundary. I needed to say no—pretend I wasn’t comfortable with it. Otherwise—well, otherwise I was going to make out with Primrose and it would kill me because it wouldn’t even mean anything.

Or maybe it would. And I didn’t know what to do with that.

Primrose shot Ava a look. “You and Butterflies were doing it to make everyone else drink. I should at least get that option.”

Sooyeon crossed her legs, swirling her glass, clearly having the time of her life. Entirely at my expense. “Go for a full thirty seconds and we’ll drink.”

Thirty seconds would kill me. But I couldn’t look like it was going to kill me, or—or everyone would know why I didn’t answer about my crush. Maybe I could run away and hide in the woods forever.

Primrose sighed. “Ugh… I wasn’t trying to turn it into the sloppy makeout game.” She glanced over at me, looking up at me, and I got tangled knots in my chest and my mouth dry as cotton when—I swear she batted her eyelashes at me. On purpose? Wasn’t sure. “Well?” she said, and I tried to play it cool, toying with my shot glass.

“Ah… what, you want to go for it?”

“I mean, we’ve got to beat Kittycat and Butterflies.” She flicked her gaze away shyly, fussing with the hem of her shirt. “But I can pass if you want.”

I really, really should have. But I couldn’t get the thought out of my head—what it would be like to kiss her—and maybe I could blame the alcohol. Maybe I’d regret not having taken the chance to feel her, to…

“You should be aware I’m very competitive,” I said. She flushed, looking up at me.

“I mean, we could easily win if we wanted to.”

It took everything I had to keep my voice casual. “I’m game.”

Primrose glanced at the rest of the circle, sinking closer to me, and I was suddenly aware of every inch of distance between us and of every breath she took and where every strand of her hair fell, and the curve of her lips, and how warm she felt next to me. “You all can just go ahead and drink now,” she said, and she put a hand on my front, tugging on my shirt. It spiked prickling awareness through every part of me, and time stopped there for a second, and—

And she kissed me. She pressed her lips against mine, the scent of her perfume flooding my senses, and I think I was about to lose my goddamn mind. She sank against me, wrapping her arms around me, and I distantly heard the rest of the circle yelling something but—they didn’t exist anymore.

Primrose was so… soft…

I let my hands fall to her hips and held her into me, and I tilted my head to meet her, moving my lips with hers. She shifted herself up onto my leg, perching on my lap, and I felt her weight settle against me, light but firm and so… real, her hair falling against the sides of my face, letting out a small, soft moan as she kissed me.

I was so far past the point of no return. But I guess that meant I could stop worrying if I was supposed to return.

I parted my lips, not even caring it was the game anymore—just wanting her, needing her—and I pulled her tighter against me, taking her lower lip between mine and tugging, lightly. She let out a sound somewhere between startled and pleasure, and I felt her fingers dig into the back of my scalp. My whole body reacted like electricity to her touch, to her taste, and I just—god, I was twisted in knots.

She hooked one knee around me, tugging me closer against her, and I felt her tongue run against my lips, hot and wet and slightly coarse. I had so much heat building between my legs… my face must have been burning. I gripped her by the back of the head and just followed what the burning ache in my chest wanted of me, slipped my tongue into her mouth, muffling her noise of surprise that turned into a low groan as I swirled my tongue around hers. She hooked her other knee around me, too, and I felt like I was one more dare away from getting very into exhibitionism and doing much worse with her right here and now—

Primrose pulled back, her face flushed, her lips glistening. I could still feel the blood pumping in my ears, and I felt like I was in a hazy—and very sexy—dream with her face filling my vision.

“Was that thirty seconds?” Primrose said, glancing back at the circle. I felt my heart beating so fast I thought I’d burst. Resentfully, I forced myself to look away, back to where Sooyeon glanced at her phone.

“Twenty-six.”

No way that was twenty-six. But it didn’t deter Primrose, who looked back at me, and she flashed a shy smile at me before she dove back in, her lips crashing against mine again, and I met her for what was definitely more than four seconds. When I heard the thump of everyone setting down their glasses, Primrose pulled back, and I felt like I didn’t know how to exist in the world as she slid off my lap, her face flushed and looking all too satisfied, and she raised her glass in Ava’s direction.

“She does way better than it sounds like you do.”

I was going to die. In a happy way, good sense be damned. My head was spinning, and my body hummed with a pleasant awareness. I probably looked like I’d just had great sex. Probably everyone in the circle could tell. I didn’t care.

Ava rolled her eyes, smiling. “Shut up. Just be glad Susu said thirty seconds, or we’d have had to evacuate the space before you two went any further.”

Primrose gave me a playful shove on the leg. “Your turn, Giselle. Truth or dare?”

Were we playing a game? I didn’t even know where I was anymore. I felt like I was hopped up on laughing gas and I was seeing stars. “Um… truth.”

She ducked her head, looking shyly up at me. “Did you like that?”

If I weren’t drunk on Primrose right now, I might have thought through a reasonable response. But I was, and I didn’t. “Primrose. It’s not fair to give me such a softball question.” I gave her a playful pat on the leg. “Of course I did. You’re way better than it sounds like Ava is.”

Ava scoffed from across the circle, where she might as well have been miles away. “Fuck you both. I’m not letting Sunburns bring around anyone new again.”