Chapter 14

Giselle

Ithought for sure I’d screwed things up—that I’d offended Primrose in her endless generosity by turning down her offer, just like I did with everyone who got close to me—but then just like that, we had an ice-skating date.

That was not a date and that I needed to stop thinking of as a date. Even if she was… single now.

Jesus. This whole situation was custom-made to torture me.

Either way, I had a hard time falling asleep that night, practically jittering from excitement after a late-night shower and some more cooldown stretches. And when I woke up to the hum of my alarm in the morning, I saw two texts, one I was excited for and one I wasn’t.

One from Primrose that gave me butterflies. good morning, sleepyhead! starting your breakfast soon so don’t keep me waiting, and two heart emojis at the end. One just felt friendly. Two felt… very friendly. Ugh. I was being a lesbian stereotype.

The butterflies vanished when I saw the second message, though. My father, with a curt text. Event at the Hilton tomorrow morning at 10am. You can show if you aren’t busy.

Ten was… not ideal. I was supposed to be practicing then, and my father was clearly expecting me to say no, but after the exchange we’d had last time? I had this sinking feeling if I said no then I’d never be able to say yes again.

I’ll be there,I replied. Business casual?

And then a palate cleanser onto Primrose’s message. Someone’s an early riser. I’m just dragging myself out of bed now.

Primrose replied right away. I was so excited for today I could barely sleep!!

She was so cute… I found myself hunched over my phone pining like the hopeless lesbian I was. taking a quick shower and then I’ll be with you! should be 20-30 minutes

I’ll be waiting,she sent, with a single red heart at the end. Suddenly one heart felt more loaded than multiple. Or maybe it was wishful thinking.

She’d broken up with her boyfriend yesterday. What was wrong with me?

I hopped in and out of the shower, toweling off and doing my hair and makeup as quickly as I could before I was out the door. It was a gorgeous day, the air sweet and crisp and the sun shining a pale gold low on the horizon, a touch of the morning chill still set in around me, and birdsong filled the air in the quiet before the cars started up in the roads running around campus. November Complex was alive with energy at the front, though, and I found out why when I stepped into where a couple of girls were playing on the volleyball court, sand scattering across the pavers as one girl dived for the ball.

On the return, another girl spiked it out of bounds, and it bounced past the edge of the sand arena and rolled up to my feet. I stooped to pick up the ball just as one of the girls came over at a brisk pace, a smile on her face.

“Good point,” I said, tossing the ball back. She caught it in one hand, holding it against her hip, and she gave me an odd smile.

“Thanks. Giselle?”

“Ah.” I scratched my head. “I’m that famous?”

She beamed. “Primrose and I are friends. Sooyeon. Nice to meet you.”

I straightened, matching her smile. She was a tall, lean woman, just a hair under my height, with dark hair and butterfly tattoos up her arms. “Nice to meet you… I’m guessing you’re the one Primrose and Ava called Butterflies.”

She laughed, holding up her arm. “Original, right?”

“It’s nice ink, though.”

“Oh, thank you. Just got it touched up two weeks ago and it’s finally less angry. My parents are faithful devotees to the religion of Korean skincare and they’re deeply disappointed in me for ruining my skin…”

“I’d get more if I had tattoos and someone told me to stop.”

“Why do you think I have them on both arms?” She held up the ball. “Well, I won’t keep you. Just got excited to say hi to Primrose’s, uh… new… special friend.”

“Oh—uh—” I furrowed my brow. “You know, we’re…”

She gave me a coy smile. “Sunburns lives right above me, and I don’t normally hear her hum to herself in the mornings. Think she’s excited for her date.”

“It’s… it’s not a date, you know…” My face was betraying any attempts I made at being cool. Sooyeon winked.

“Have fun, you two. Tell Rosie I said hi.” She turned on her heel before I could find some other meek way to protest, going back to the game, and I hunched my shoulders as I headed for the door, my face still burning.

At least… at least Primrose had friends who would be accepting once she did decide to come out. As… whatever she was. Which I was trying, and failing, to not think about.

I’m at the complex front door,I sent, pulling up my chat with Primrose. Butterflies held me up, but she told me to say hi.

you and susu would get along! you’re the only two nice friends I have.And then, buzzing you up now! third floor, apartment 46

November was nice on the inside, too. I headed up to the top floor, and I knocked on the door of apartment 46 and pretended to be cool, leaning against the doorframe until it opened up to where Primrose had her hair clipped back, a few loose strands framing her face, wearing a tiny crop top again that I was not paying too much attention to.

“Hey, you,” she said, eyes sparkling. “About time you made it over here. Butterflies reciting the text of War and Peace to you, or what?”

“Ah, y’know. Wanted to take my time, really build up the suspense for me to arrive. Your hair’s cute like this.”

“Oh, god, you can’t say that. You’re a million times prettier than me. Just doesn’t work coming from you. Come in, your food’s ready.”

I didn’t think there existed a person alive who was prettier than her at all, let alone me being a million times prettier, but I was being well-behaved and not saying that.

We sat down at the faux-wood table by the window overlooking the garden, and she brought food and coffee over, and honestly, Primrose was not a bad cook. We talked about the food and about the upcoming practice session, and she deflected my compliments on her cooking and on her dedication over watching the practice videos she talked about devouring all last night and this morning, but the shy, silly little smiles she gave me said she wanted nothing more than more compliments to deflect.

Frankly, I was more than happy to sit here and compliment her all day. But then I’d fall for her, and I was trying really hard not to do that.

Once we’d finished the food and our coffee was running low, I held my mug in both hands, breathing in the sweet smell of the fresh air coming in through the window, I took a chance and asked, “So… how are you feeling?”

“Excited.”

“I’d heard. From Sooyeon.” I paused. “She said she doesn’t normally hear you hum to yourself in the mornings.”

Primrose went deathly pale. “She… she said that, did she?”

“Mm-hm.” I had a hard time keeping the smile down. She looked away.

“How… interesting.”

“Very interesting.”

She cleared her throat. “I thought sound didn’t carry that well in here…”

“Think it has something to do with keeping your window open?”

“Oh—god.”

I laughed. “You don’t have to answer, but that isn’t what I meant anyway.”

“Oh…” She looked down, tenting her hands in her lap, before she looked back up at me with a nervous smile. “You know, I’m actually okay. Everything still feels like it sucks a little bit, but… now that I got to sleep on it, it’s easy to admit Matt and I weren’t right for each other.”

I softened, giving her the warmest smile I could. “You’ve got quite a lot of resilience, Primrose. It’s not easy going through this.”

“Mm. You’d know, right? You’re pretty fresh out of a relationship yourself, too… you said the same thing. That you don’t resent her, just… weren’t right for each other.”

Honestly, for a minute there, I’d gotten so caught up in Primrose’s orbit that I’d forgotten all about Andrea. I looked out the window, watching the tree branches sway in the breeze. “I actually feel okay, yeah. Because of that exact thing. So I guess I get it…”

“I feel like I’m supposed to be more hurt, more shaken. But I guess… whatever you feel is okay. There’s no rules on how you have to feel out of a breakup.” She gave me that smile she had that just murdered me whenever she pulled it out—that sweet thing looking up at me through her lashes that gave me butterflies on butterflies. “And how I feel is that I’m glad I have you. And lucky that I ran into you on the ice.”

I laughed nervously. “You know? I feel the same way. Thanks, Primrose.” And before I could reel myself in, I blurted, “I really regretted not being able to make that event you invited me to the other night…”

“Oh, please.” She waved me off. “We have them all the time. You can come to the next one. We’re doing something casual tomorrow, if you want to be there?”

I’d been beating myself up over nothing… maybe I was used to the wrong kind of social dynamics, scheming and petty things where saying no would make you an enemy forever. Primrose just shrugged it off and invited me to something else later. I felt a little silly for not having realized that kind of thing was even an option. “I’d love to. Just… so long as it’s not a morning thing. My father wants me for something tomorrow morning.”

“Ugh, Saturday morning and he’s calling you for work events?”

I laughed drily. “More common than you’d think. Work events on the weekends are just work events where you have to pretend you’re having fun, and you invite your family so they can make connections. I don’t love it, but…”

“Oh, so it’s a party.”

“Party at ten o’clock on a Saturday morning. Doesn’t get better than that.”

“Hm. Well, if you want someone to go with you so you have an excuse to get out of conversations you’d rather not have, you know where to find me.”

I paused. “Er… I don’t think you’d want to go. It’s pretty boring.”

She shrugged, looking away. “I’d be curious. I like knowing what things are like in your life, in your world…”

I felt like I’d lose my mind. My mouth felt dry, and my heart beat faster than I wanted right now, just… thinking of what it would be like to bring Primrose. She’d probably dress… nicely. My father would assume I brought a girlfriend—I’d already come out to him ages ago, and his attitude was essentially a sigh and an if you must, which was honestly better than I’d expected. I think he was banking on using me to make his work look more diverse, though, which meant he’d probably try to show off how accepting he was of his lesbian daughter with her date… and I had no idea how to explain that to Primrose.

But I’d be damned if I didn’t want her there. If I didn’t want to show her what things were like in my word.

“Well… I mean, if you’re sure. I’d love to have someone there I actually enjoy talking to. Let me ask my father about a plus-one.”

She beamed, her smile practically glowing. “Only downside is that I might be so out of place I’ll embarrass you.”

“Hm.” I took out my phone, dashing off a text. “Who knows, maybe someone there is friends with that friend of yours who designed your dress for Paris fashion week…”

“Ah, yes. Now that you mention it, I do know a couple of finance moguls. Maybe one will be there to introduce me to someone.”

My father replied right away to my plus-one text. Fine, just make sure they don’t cause any problems. And do something at the event, don’t just stand there with your date.

I made a sound in my throat, typing back. Not a date, just a friend who helps me work things out. She’ll fit in perfectly, she’s a charmer. “Looks like we’re clear,” I said, and Primrose laughed.

“Are we? What was that sound you made?”

“Er… nothing. Just my dad saying something he doesn’t need to.”

“Tell him I’m housebroken.”

I laughed nervously, putting my phone down. As long as he didn’t make any comments about dates to Primrose… “I’ll let him think you’re not. Undersell and overdeliver.”

She laughed, eyes sparkling. “Spoken like a professional. Thanks for having me, Giselle.”

“Thanks for coming. Genuinely. Now, should we move? My session is coming up soon.”

She practically fell over jumping to her feet and clearing up our dishes before I could get them. “Oh, god, yes. I’ve been so excited about this.”

So she had.