Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

DALLAS

"You know you can't just keep her whenever you feel like it." Dallas was pacing his living room, raging pissed off, his phone to his ear.

Katie's laugh wasn't kind. "Tell it to the fucking judge. I don't think he's going to side with you on this. My mom is sick."

"And I think any reasonable judge is going to wonder why you think bringing a baby to a hospital is the right move. She's not even going to remember it."

"My mom will. Sue me for more custody, or shut up."

The line went dead, and Dallas collapsed onto his couch. He fought back the urge to scream or turn around and put his fist through the wall. He was pretty sure that wouldn't earn him any favors if he had to endure some kind of home inspection for increased custody, so instead, he grabbed a pillow and bellowed into it.

His time with his daughter was both precious and so fucking short. He understood his ex did things simply to be cruel, but he couldn't seem to catch a break. He regretted letting Katie pick her up that evening. He regretted believing her when she said it was just going to be a few hours.

It didn't help that he was exhausted either. When Katie said she wouldn't be back until morning, Dallas had spent the evening curled up on his couch reading article after article about sexuality.

Some things fit, and some things didn't, and he was starting to feel like a freak. Then he'd come across this blog by a man who'd come out as greysexual, and suddenly, it was like pieces started falling into place. His story wasn't exactly like Dallas's. The man had been attracted to other men for most of his life, so he hadn't dealt with a sudden change.

But he'd gone through everything else. Relationships falling apart because he didn't see the point in sex the way other people did. Sudden bursts of wanting. Being able to get off easily by his own hand, but being touched by another person didn't do it for him all the time.

People calling him a freak. Asking what was wrong with him. Thinking it was some sort of imbalance he should see a doctor for.

The guy was happy now. He was in a polyamorous relationship and satisfied in ways that Dallas so desperately wanted to be.

So maybe that was him. Greysexual. It rolled off his tongue and wrapped around him like a weighted blanket.

He just wished he had time to explore more and work on himself, but his actual job, his daughter, pressing custody issues, and now this thing with Kylen were taking over. And Kylen was making it worse because for the second morning in a row, Dallas woke up spent and sticky, humming all over from the fantasy of Kylen pinning him down and kissing the breath straight out of him .

His shower that morning was cold, and his rage at Katie had started a different kind of fire in him. It was one he needed to contain before he met with Kylen because the last thing he needed to do was show up like some pissed-off monster.

A small part of him wanted to cancel, but he did owe Kylen his time. He'd promised to be there for him, and in all honesty, this pretend boyfriend thing was a decent distraction from the chaos he knew was coming.

He wasn't going to delay anymore. He was going to file for an amendment because he wasn't going to stand for his ex taking over and ruining what time he had with Audra. So even if being in this farce with a man he couldn't stop dreaming about might kill him a little, it was better than his current reality.

Grabbing his keys, he shot a text to Kylen and let him know he was on his way. He felt an answering buzz, but he ignored it as he cranked up his music and sang along until the café came into view. The parking lot was mostly empty, so he rolled into a spot and then took a few minutes to center himself before going in.

As he approached, he saw Kylen sitting in the far corner, nestled in one of the brown squashy chairs with a table in front of him. Dallas had been expecting him to bring Flora, but he supposed it made sense that he didn't. They could have talked about this with Audra babbling away, but the five-year-old would have sold them out for sure.

His heart skipped a beat when Kylen looked up and smiled at him. He went hot in his middle in ways he hadn't felt in a long, long time. Fuck. He'd never felt that for a man before, but it didn't feel strange.

It felt good. It felt right .

Just like he'd once felt for Katie, though that was an old, rusted echo now.

Running his fingers through his hair, Dallas crossed the room and took the seat beside Kylen. The man looked good, though tired, and his smile was a little strained. "How are you?" Kylen asked.

Dallas shrugged. "It's been a morning."

Kylen's brows lifted. "Anything to do with your lack of baby?"

Dallas's stomach cramped. "Yeah. That would be part of it. My ex is…" Unkind words danced on his tongue, but he was trying to practice not using them so he didn't slip up in front of Audra. He needed to create the habit now. "Complicated."

Kylen snorted. "I know the feeling. I mean, Dani's great, but I have a lot of complicated people in my life. It's a good word."

Dallas's nerves settled a little as he twisted in his seat to better face the other man. "You doing okay?"

Kylen shrugged. "Would it be okay if we didn't talk about it right now? I'm kind of enjoying the mental space."

"Anything you want," Dallas said. He saw the way Kylen's cheeks pinked, and he wondered if that was because of him. Dallas wasn't used to getting things right with other men. "Did you get a coffee?"

Kylen shook his head. "No, but I owe you one. What would you like?"

"A rain check. I think if I have any caffeine right now, I'm going to burst out of my skin."

"That bad, huh?"

Dallas grimaced. "Worse. Sorry we're both having shitty days. It's kind of why I'm glad we did this. I could?— "

"Actually, about that—" They both froze, and Kylen laughed. "You go ahead, hon."

Dallas hesitated, then shrugged. "I don't want to sound like a dick or anything, but I'm kind of glad I get to play this boyfriend part with you."

Kylen's eyes widened a fraction. "You are?"

Dallas nodded. "I'm about to get into a very ugly custody battle with my ex, and I…well. There's some personal stuff I'm dealing with too. So being able to play pretend in a supporting, loving relationship is giving me a kind of reprieve I didn't expect. It's weird to say thanks for that, but…thanks."

Kylen swallowed heavily. Something flashed in his eyes, but before Dallas could begin to guess what it was, it was gone. His lips softened into a very soft, and frankly very beautiful, smile. Dallas wondered for a single moment if he'd be allowed to kiss him during all this.

He wondered what it would feel like.

In his dreams, it was sort of abstract and far too soft. Would it be rough? Chapped lips and beard scruff? Was Kylen domineering, or was he tender?

Dallas shook his head and took a breath. "Sorry. Am I being too much?"

"You're not too much, and anyone who ever made you feel that way deserves a junk punch," Kylen said firmly.

Dallas's cheeks heated, and he ducked his head. "That's violent but sweet."

Kylen laughed. "I kind of like that compliment."

"Good. It's all yours. Now, you were going to say something?"

Kylen blinked like he was surprised. "Oh. Uh…no, it wasn't anything important. Just that we should, you know, ge t our story straight. My sister's really good at finding holes. Aaaand I did not mean for that to sound so dirty."

Dallas hid his laugh in his hand. "I forgive you. I hang out with a bunch of guys all week long, so I'm used to it."

"Yeah. Your friend Frey invited me to join the Single Dad Club," Kylen told him.

Dallas wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that. It made sense, obviously. Kylen was a single dad, and he was funny and kind. He'd fit perfectly. But what if this went all wrong? "What did you say?"

"I didn't commit just yet," Kylen admitted. "I think we should handle all this first before we add one more thing to my to-do list."

Dallas relaxed and sat back. "Okay. So." He leaned on his elbow and offered Kylen a smile he hoped was friendly. "How did we meet?"

"No." Adele crossed his arms and shook his head. "You cannot say that. You cannot tell people you met reaching for the same box of pasta. That is not a thing that happens in real life."

"It could," Dallas defended, though he thought the story was weak, but Kylen had seemed so sure about it.

Adele scoffed, taking a sip of his iced tea before wiping his mouth and giving Dallas a pointed stare. "People don't reach for the same things at grocery stores. If someone is standing close to what they want, they hover nearby like a goblin, staring at the jars of pickled artichoke hearts, waiting for them to move."

Frey burst into laughter. "Holy shit, it's true. "

Dallas groaned and flopped back, covering his face. "So what's a better meet-cute, then?"

"Well, first of all," Adele said, pointing a finger at him, "don't call it a meet-cute. That's a dead giveaway. Secondly…I don't know how people meet people these days."

"TikTok," Gage chimed in. "Or Snapchat." He turned in his gaming chair, where Rex was curled up fast asleep beside him with his own non-connected controller. He gave Dallas an up-and-down look. "You're not that old."

"Thank you?" Dallas said.

"You use Snapchat, right?"

"I do not," Dallas said. He wasn't that old, but he was a caveman about social media. It made his anxiety impossible to manage.

"Well, his sister probably doesn't know that about you. Just say y'all met online." Gage spun back around.

"Kid's got a point," Adele said. "The last couple dates I bothered to go on were from apps."

Dallas bit his lip. He and Kylen had come up with a vague outline of their relationship, but they hadn't settled on anything. All of it felt so wrong. He checked his phone, but Kylen hadn't texted him yet with the times he'd be available for a second meetup.

"Would it be weird if we told the story of how we actually met? I mean, that one at least has some truth to it."

Lane made a soft noise in the back of his throat as he leaned forward. "Too close to home, maybe?"

Dallas flushed. He hadn't told anyone else how he was feeling, and he trusted Lane not to sell him out. But he also hadn't decided if what he was feeling for Kylen was actual attraction or just his brain coping with the fact that he was missing intimacy in all forms .

"I just think sticking to something truthful will make it easier to lie," Dallas defended, then groaned. "I hate lying."

"You're such a Boy Scout," Gage called.

"What's a Babe Scout?" Briar asked from her spot under the table.

"Boy Scout," Lane corrected. "Like Daisies. Or Brownies."

"I want—ouch!" Briar cracked her head on the table as she attempted to get up too fast. She clambered into her dad's lap. "I want brownies! Can we haff some?"

"I hate myself," Lane said quietly as he kissed Briar's cheek. "Maybe this weekend when Bowen gets home."

For a moment, it looked like she wanted to throw a fit, but she calmed down and climbed back down to finish her coloring around their feet.

Lane sighed. "Anyway, you might be right. When do you see him next?"

"I don't know. He's—" Dallas's phone buzzed, and his heart skipped a beat in his chest. It buzzed two more times.

He swiped open the screen and stared at the text message and two emails. He saw the name of the family law office he'd queried, but he set that aside in favor of Kylen's text.

Kylen: Tomorrow after school. Will you be free?

Dallas: I have a couple errands to run. Can we meet after?

Kylen: My sister's taking Flora to dance class and then dinner. Want to meet at my place?

Dallas's heart began to beat a little too hard, and he took several calming breaths before he decided that it was the best possible option. He sent back a yes, then looked up at the guys, who were all staring at him, including Gage, who had paused his game once again.

Dallas cleared his throat. "Tomorrow after school."

Lane hid his smile, and Adele's sharp eyes caught it. He turned his gaze to Dallas, who just shook his head, and Adele deflated. Out of all the guys, he was closest to the firefighter, so he knew Adele's feelings were probably hurt. But he'd explain later.

He couldn't do it now.

"Do you mind if I take a second?" Dallas asked. Now that the meeting was sorted, the email was crawling under his skin like an itch.

Lane waved him off. "Take your time."

"It's a law office. Family law," he explained as he got up and walked toward Adele's sliding door. He slipped out onto the deck and rested his back against the cool bricks as he opened it up. The message was formal, saying that his query had been reviewed and asking him to confirm an appointment for a consultation.

It would be free, which helped.

He clicked the link. The only day free was Tuesday at nine. Was it worth it getting a sub for that?

It wasn't really a question. He took the appointment, then sent the sub request in through the app the school used, and then tucked his phone back into his pocket. He knew he should go back in, but he needed the moment to himself.

Everything was happening so fast, and he couldn't deny that Kylen had been acting a little weird after Dallas confessed to looking forward to the fake dating. He wondered if Kylen thought he was a complete weirdo. And maybe he was.

Maybe it wasn't that he was greysexual.

Maybe he was just a freak.

He took a trembling breath, then forced himself to go back inside because he wanted to be near his friends. He needed them. They were still gathered around the table, and as he got close, Adele reached out and grabbed him, tugging him close.

"Stay for a bit," Adele rumbled.

Dallas realized everyone was starting to get up. "Yeah, okay." Rex was still out, so Dallas ruffled his hair gently, then kissed Briar's cheek goodbye as she hung off Lane's arm.

Frey lingered after Lane walked out and headed next door, and when everyone was out of earshot, he leaned in close. "I like Kylen."

Dallas blinked at him.

"I'm his granny's nurse."

"Right. I forgot about that." Another lie, but he didn't really want to touch on that yet. "He's a decent guy."

Frey gave him a calculating look, then said, "Someone could do a lot worse than a hot pilot with shitty dad jokes who knows what it's like to do the whole single-parent thing, you know?"

Dallas nodded, his tongue dry as the Sahara in the back of his throat. Frey gave him a pat before walking to his car, so Dallas quickly turned and went back in. Gage had disappeared, and the only person left was Adele.

He was leaning against the arm of the sofa, his arms in their usual position, crossed over his chest. Dallas wondered if he could be—or maybe was—attracted to him. But he searched for that feeling Kylen gave him, and he came up short.

He loved Adele with his whole heart, but it wasn't the same.

Which meant…shit.

Shit . He was catching actual feelings.

"Are you having a panic attack?" Adele's voice was laced with concern.

Dallas shook his head. "No. An attack of…something else."

"Can we talk about it now?"

Dallas felt like someone was sitting on his chest. "I need time," he begged. "I…please. I'm freaking out, and I just need one thing to stay normal. Just for now."

Adele crossed the room and wrapped his massive arms around him. "I've got you. Let me buy you dinner, and we can talk about this lawyer business."

Dallas sagged with relief. "Thank you."

Adele just smiled, then dragged him into the kitchen and away from the mess his life was becoming.