Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

KYLEN

"Mom wants to speak with you."

Kylen looked up from where he was brushing his gran's hair. His sister stood in the doorway, holding a phone out toward him. He shook his head. "No, thank you."

"You can't keep avoiding her."

Kylen rolled his eyes and looked back down at his gran, who was smiling up at him. "Your daughter is on my last nerve."

"I have two daughters," Gran said softly. "Sharon and…and." She blinked, then went quiet.

Kylen set her hair gently back away from her forehead. There were still pieces that were rich black in with the pure white in spite of her age. He could still see the young woman from the photos on her walls in parts of her face. "Shelly."

"No, it's Sammy," Gran said.

"It's Shelly , Gran," Grace said far too loudly.

His gran shrunk back on the bed, and he scowled at his sister. "Stop. I don't know why you talk to her like that."

"Letting her live in these delusions… "

"Isn't going to make a difference. Especially at this stage," Kylen reminded her. "Now, do you want something?"

"Mom—"

"Isn't going to get her way. Do you want something?" he repeated.

She scoffed. "Can you fly her and Dad out for the reunion?"

"No." Kylen turned away and waited for the sound of his sister's shoes to disappear. When she was gone, his gran was back asleep, and he sat back in the chair, putting her grooming kit away. The stress was killing his stomach.

He wouldn't be surprised if he developed an ulcer.

He glanced over when his gran made a distressed noise, but it didn't last. She went still again, and he felt his stomach unclench a fraction. He'd known this was going to be difficult. He knew his sister would put her nose where it didn't belong. He knew his mom would use every opportunity to meddle. He knew that he'd have to face the reality that his gran wasn't going to get better. She was going to get worse.

And then she was going to die.

But he hadn't realized how it was all going to feel.

"Coffee."

Kylen jumped in his seat, then turned to see the nurse, Frey, leaning in the doorway, holding two cups that most definitely didn't come from the hospital canteen. Kylen offered him a relieved smile and held his hand out. He got his fingers around the cup just before he remembered who Frey was.

And that there was a damn good chance Dallas had told his friend all about what Kylen had done. His face bloomed pink as Frey grabbed the second chair in the room, dragged it over, and sat.

"Drink that," Frey ordered. "I don't give this coffee to just anyone."

Kylen put the cup to his lips, and in spite of the burn, he moaned in pleasure. The coffee was thick and black and rich without being burnt or bitter. "What is this?"

"My fiancé gets it shipped to him. He's from Italy, and he hates American coffee with a passion," Frey answered with a smile.

Kylen's gaze flickered down to the ring on Frey's finger, then back up to his face. "He sounds like a dream."

"Oh, he's not. He's an absolute asshole to almost everyone we meet. But he's great with my kid, and once he realized he liked me, it was game over."

A small wave of jealousy crashed over him because he wanted that. He wanted someone who made his face look like that every time he talked about them. But fuck only knew when he'd get the time, considering how chaotic it all was.

"I saw your sister heading out," Frey said after a beat.

Kylen hummed as he took another swallow of coffee. "Was she mean to you?"

Frey shook his head. "Nah. She just gave me a look and walked off."

"I'm sorry she's still around," Kylen said. He'd been apologizing for his family most of his life, and it was getting a little tiring. "We have a family reunion thing coming up, and she'll be gone after that."

Frey stared at him over the rim of his paper cup. "I heard." he eventually said. "You're taking your new boyfriend. "

Kylen stared down at his toes. At least Frey didn't beat around the bush. "About that…"

"I'm not here to judge you," Frey interrupted. "Dallas explained it, and if anyone can play an amazing fake boyfriend, it's him. Well…we have one other friend who'd be good at it, but Dallas has a real skill for making people eat their words."

Kylen's lip twitched. "Yeah?"

"He helped out one of our other friends when his ex-wife was giving him a hard time," Frey said with a shrug. He leaned back and set his coffee on the counter before folding his arms behind his head. "You like him though. Don't you?"

Denial danced at the tip of his tongue. It would be so easy to play it off as harmless flirting with a stranger, but for some reason, he didn't want to lie. He felt like he was carrying a hundred burdens, and most of them weren't his own.

"Sorry if I'm overstepping," Frey said into the silence that settled between them.

Kylen shook his head. "No, I…yeah. I mean, I don't really know him, so I can't say I like him. But he's attractive, and I was definitely hitting on him during the flight. Until I realized he was straight."

Frey licked his lips like he was holding something back. Had Kylen been wrong? Was Dallas not? He didn't want to get his hopes up. And hadn't Dallas said he was? Fuck, everything felt so muddled.

"You seem like a really good guy," Frey eventually said.

Kylen couldn't help a laugh. "Let me guess…you don't want to see me get hurt?"

Frey pressed his lips together in a thin line, then sighed. "You've heard that a lot, I'm guessing? "

"I'm always the nice guy who shouldn't get hurt. And I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party or anything. I know I'm a good guy, and I'd make a great boyfriend, but I'm gay, and I have a kid. That makes dating…uncomfortable for most people."

There were so many layers to it. Being cautious because he didn't want his kid to be a target of some perv who lied to get access to someone vulnerable. Being cautious because there were assholes out there who preyed on single parents, thinking they were more vulnerable and easy to abuse.

And then there was the assumption that he couldn't be a good partner and a good dad at the same time.

The pool of men who wanted a ready-made family was very, very small. And their town didn't exactly have the population of LA or New York. The pickings were slim.

"Trust me, I get it," Frey said, and Kylen figured that was the truth. "After my ex ditched us, I didn't think I'd find anyone."

Kylen wrapped his arms around his middle. "But you did."

"I did. After a lot of anger and tears. After being resigned to moving into my kid's basement like some weird hermit while he lives his life. And there's still this tiny, insecure part of me that's terrified I'm going to come home one day and find the house empty."

"Is that what happened the first time?" Kylen couldn't help but ask.

Frey laughed softly. "Well. He left a note. It was for the best. I mean, guys like me always say that, right? When their ex up and leaves? But it's true. My kid is Deaf, and my ex didn't want a disabled child. "

Kylen felt his chest get hot. "What the fuck? Is that what he said?"

Frey shrugged. "In so many words. He was a dickhead. He's still a dickhead, but at least he stayed away and didn't fuck with us after he decided he was done." Frey rubbed his fingers together, almost like a nervous habit. "Renato didn't want kids. He was a widower and kind of done with the whole dating thing. But with us, it just…worked. He's going to adopt Rex after we get married, and neither of us want more or anything like that, but I didn't have to wade through some pool of weirdos to find the one unicorn who was both queer and wanted an immediate family. It happened in the weirdest circumstance."

Kylen glanced over at his gran. "I think that might be one of those once-in-a-lifetime deals."

"Maybe. I'm not a woo-woo kind of guy. I don't believe in fate. I believe in working your ass off to get what you want. But there's no logical explanation for Renato."

"I hope you say that to his face," Kylen said.

Frey burst into laughter. "I do. All the time." He sobered after a beat. "We have a group for single dads. I told you that, right?"

He might have, but Kylen had been so worn and exhausted he couldn't remember. He nodded anyway.

Frey's grin widened. "Good. Yeah. Look, you should come join us. I don't know if it'll be weird with Dallas being there and the whole…relationship?—"

" Fake relationship," Kylen said. He didn't want Frey to think he was delusional or holding on to some fantasy that this would become real.

Frey nodded and let out a puff of air. "Right. Fake relationship. And you can wait until your family thing is over. But it's a good group. The guys are like family. They help when it feels like you're drowning. I think they saved my life, even when I wasn't being honest with them."

Kylen wanted to ask what Frey had lied about. The man seemed almost disastrously honest. But then there was a buzzing sound, and Frey hopped up.

"Duty calls. Don't leave before you get my number, okay?"

Kylen nodded, then waited for Frey to disappear. He couldn't make any promises right then. The offer was tempting, but right now, he just wanted to get his grandmother home, get life back on track, and deal with the mess he'd created with Dallas. The rest could come after.

If he didn't destroy himself in the process.

"…and then we had some crowns, and we maked this…this thing. With a hand. And some eyes. But it's on the wall now."

Kylen stirred his spaghetti over his plate as he listened to Flora talk. "Crowns?" He mimed putting one on his head.

She rolled her eyes. "No, with…with colors."

"Cray-ohns," he repeated. "You're spending too much time with Auntie, and her accent is ugly."

Flora blinked at him. "Accent?"

"Never mind. Her accent isn't ugly. I didn't mean that. She's being ugly right now." He stopped himself immediately. He did not need to dump that shit on his daughter. "Ignore me. Daddy's having a bad day."

Flora immediately hopped off her chair and crawled into his lap, patting the side of his head the way he did with her when she was having a meltdown. His heart softened, and he wrapped his arms around her .

"How did I get so lucky?"

"Like a cat?" she asked. She was referring to her maneki-neko that her mom had brought back from her trip to Kyoto two years ago. She kept it on her dresser in spite of the fact that it was worn and the mechanics on the waving arm had long since burnt out.

"Something like that, yeah." He didn't have words to describe how he was feeling to his five-year-old. Not that he wanted to. He wanted her to remain as unburdened as possible for as long as he could shield her. "Go finish your dinner."

"Tastes funny," she muttered.

Her plate was half-touched, and he sighed. Her eating habits had always been…difficult, to say the least, but he was starting to suspect it was more than being picky. She was fussy about everything and a creature of almost obsessive habit. But just when he thought he had her preferences figured out, she'd change them.

It was a moving target and just one more in his long list of things he had to figure out. He just wished they weren't hitting him all at once. He wanted to get out of this funk and back to the man he used to be. He was tired of being a shell made of insomnia and stress.

"Daddy?"

He kissed her temple. "I'm fine, sweetpea. Do you want something else to eat right now?"

"Fish."

Goldfish. He felt like the worst dad in the world, but he gave in because the last thing he was going to do was send her to bed with an empty stomach.

Kylen's phone buzzed beside him. He rolled over, his heart tripping over itself hoping that it was Dallas. Instead, he saw Dani's name on the screen. It wasn't the person he wanted to talk to, but he'd take it.

"Hey, babes."

She laughed quietly. "You only say that when things are bad."

It was true. When he was in a good mood, he usually greeted her with a long, drawn-out Heyyyy, bitch . He covered half his face with one hand. "It's been a day. Gran's still in the hospital, my sister's still being a pain in my ass, and Flora's putting up a food fight again. She ate Goldfish for dinner, which makes me the worst dad on the planet."

"Best dad. Fed is best. She's not going to get scurvy from having Goldfish a couple nights." Daniela went quiet a moment. "What else aren't you telling me?"

God, why couldn't he be a little straighter? They would have made the perfect team. She knew him so well, and she knew how to gently crack him open so he didn't bleed as he spilled his guts.

"I met a guy. I like him. And he doesn't like me back."

"As in…"

"As in he's straight, and I think I fucked up in a big way." Then the dam broke. He let go of everything. He was burning with humiliation when he was done, curled up under his covers with a pillow over his head. "I'm like some fucking high school nerd with his Canadian girlfriend," he finished.

Dani burst into laughter. "Oh, honey."

"Tell me I'm wrong," he begged.

"I can't. You so are. Except…I guess you're not if he's willing to play along."

Kylen winced. "He is. I just feel like that's going to make it worse. He's Flora's teacher, so if this gets weird, I'll have to see him all year long."

"Eh. Only for like six things, and he'll be busy for most of them," she said.

"No." The decision was already made. He knew that. "He wants to go on a practice date, so I think I have to call it off when I get there."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't you think that's better than parading him around my family?" Kylen pressed.

Dani groaned. "I mean…yeah, probably. No one deserves to be subjected to them." She paused for a long beat. "Honey, do you want me to see about a transfer home? Just until some of this stuff calms down."

The offer was more than tempting, but he had always promised himself he wasn't going to stand in her way. Their arrangement made them happy. The problem wasn't Dani not being around. The problem was his weak spine with his family.

"No, sweetheart. As much as I miss you so fucking much, I can handle it. I'm going to call it off with Dallas, then I'm going to tell my family to stick their heads up their own asses instead of mine."

"I like you this way," she said.

He laughed. "Yeah. I like me too."

She sighed. "Dad joke time."

Kylen burst into laughter before putting his phone on speaker and holding it away from his face to open his email. He scrolled through and opened the latest message. "What do you call friends you eat with?"

"Oh, this is going to be bad."

He grinned to himself. "Taste buds."

"I'm hanging up on you now. "

"You asked for it," he said, but she'd already made good on her promise. Smiling wider, Kylen opened his text, and in spite of telling himself not to, he pulled up Dallas's contact, then copy-pasted the joke into two parts.

He watched the screen as it went from delivered to seen twice. Then three bubbles as he typed.

And then nothing.

Just as Kylen thought it was too much, his phone buzzed against his palm.

Dallas: You owe me a coffee for one that bad. See you Saturday?

Kylen: Coffee's on me. See you then.