Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

DALLAS

Dallas was still reeling from the events of that night. He felt better after his second conversation with Monty, and Adele had managed to calm him down. Both he and Gage were keeping an eye on Audra for a while so Dallas could unwind. His stress had started her off in a crying fit, and as much as he felt like a failure with his inability to check his shit at the door for the sake of his daughter, he also knew he was only human.

And the people he trusted most were under this roof.

Especially now that Kylen was with him.

It had been quiet, warm comfort at first when Kylen had slid onto the bed with him. And then something started in his gut that was unfamiliar yet not unwelcome. Every time Kylen touched him, it sent sparks under his skin. He wasn't horny, but he wanted Kylen.

It took him a little while to realize he craved spreading the man beneath him, touching him. Making him moan, and shudder, and eventually come. He wanted to put his hands and his mouth all over him and see what he liked best—what he wanted most. He wanted to spoil the absolute fuck out of him so he never for a moment doubted that this was the right choice.

That part was probably foolish, but he was allowing himself that moment, considering everything going on in his life.

The fact that Kylen had readily agreed was enough for him.

Dallas laid him down carefully, arranging a pillow behind his head, then slowly peeled away his shirt and his sweats. Kylen's skin was warm, his nipples pebbled, his breathing a little shallow with anticipation. His chest was flushed, the mottled pink crawling up toward his throat, and Dallas chased the heat with his tongue.

He smiled against Kylen's neck when his lover's fingers dug into his hair and held him in place. "Like that," Kylen said, rough and ragged.

Dallas sank his teeth into a tendon, and Kylen arched against him, slapping a hand over his mouth to hold back his moan. Dallas wanted nothing more than to hear him lose it, but he knew this wasn't the place for it. He eased back and traced the outline of his teeth with the tip of his finger.

"I like the way my marks look on you."

"Oh, Christ," Kylen said, his entire body moving with a single shudder.

"Is that bad?"

Kylen's eyes were glazed when he looked at Dallas. "No, gorgeous. That's a very, very good thing. Touch me more. Mark me. Please."

Dallas descended as though he was helpless against Kylen's orders. His mouth clamped over his nipple, then moved to the side and sucked. Hard. Kylen whimpered against his palm as Dallas felt the blood rising to the skin, and he pulled back to see his work.

The mark was dark, bruised, and lovely. He pressed on it, watching as Kylen's body writhed, and then he glanced down to see his cock hard, flushed, and dripping a steady stream from the tip. His mouth watered. He wanted to taste it—to taste him. Never in his life had he ever thought about putting another man's dick in his mouth. Never in his life did he think he'd want to know the flavor of someone's spunk. But now, it was all he could think about.

"Let me?" he asked, curling his hand around the base of Kylen's dick.

His gaze was feverish as he met Dallas's eyes. "Let you what?"

"Suck you."

Kylen's eyes slammed shut, and he took in a shuddering breath. "Yeah. Yeah, baby. Anything you want." As Dallas began to move down lower, Kylen gripped his shoulder to stop him, and Dallas looked back up. "Will you touch me?"

"Where?"

"My ass. My hole. Play with it while you suck me?"

Dallas nodded. This hunger was different from being horny. He didn't know how to explain it. He felt powerful and important knowing he could make Kylen feel this way. He felt needed and wanted in ways his ex had never made him feel.

He felt whole. Like it didn't matter that he wasn't hard or that he didn't give a shit about getting off. He no longer felt like he was fighting against some imbalance. It felt right. Like Kylen could be happy with him like this.

Or during nights when all they did was hold each other. Or nights when they were simply near each other, listening to the other one breathe. And the nights Dallas wanted more wouldn't be the standard or the goal. Kylen didn't want to change him. He wouldn't be waiting around for him to become different.

He was good with all of this.

And Dallas could be good at all of this.

His eyes got hot as he parted his lips and closed them around the tip of Kylen's dick. He tasted the first sticky-hot rush of bitter, salty fluid. It didn't awaken anything in him. It didn't make him crave it suddenly. It was a little…gross. And weird.

But the way Kylen gasped and shifted his hips—now that was something he could see himself craving. He sucked a little harder, his fingers creeping between Kylen's thighs, ghosting gently over his balls until they found the spot Kylen wanted to be touched.

"Oh, fuck," Kylen said, his voice weak and thready. "Baby, sweetheart. Please ."

Dallas flushed. He took another inch along his tongue before it started to tickle at his gag reflex, and he stopped, suckling there as his fingers played with Kylen's puckered hole. It was a little sweaty, hot, and hairy, and he pushed on it until Kylen groaned again.

"I'm going to come. Oh fuck. Fuck. You'd better pull off if you don't want it in your mouth."

Dallas didn't want it in his mouth. He pulled off, but he closed his free hand around his shaft and began to pump fast and furious, watching Kylen fall to pieces beneath him. His cheeks were ruddy pink, his dick kicking in Dallas's hand, almost the same color as his blush. His hips fucked forward, his fingers scrambled for purchase in the sheets, and his eyes slammed shut.

His lips parted on a burst of air, and then he sucked in a breath, his body went still …

And then he came.

His cock throbbed with the rapid beat of his heart as he spilled hot ropes over Dallas's fingers. He watched as the come dripped between his knuckles. The sensation wasn't entirely pleasant, but that paled in comparison to the way Kylen was shuddering and reaching for him.

Dallas swiped his hand off on the side of his own sweats, then let Kylen burrow against him. He pressed on top of him like a human weighted blanket, and Kylen rubbed his face against the front of Dallas's throat.

"Tell me that was okay for you," Kylen asked, a little breathless.

Dallas eased back, then rolled to the side and waited until he had Kylen's attention. "Why would you ask that?"

"Because I need to know where the lines are with you," Kylen said. "I don't want you doing something like this for me if it's wrong for you."

Dallas's whole body softened. "I really, really liked making you feel good. It's…I don't know how to explain it."

"I get it," Kylen said. When Dallas shot him a look of disbelief, he rolled his eyes and tugged on Dallas's earlobe. "It works that way for people who aren't ace too. I've always liked making my partner feel good. I've had plenty of times where I've gotten them off because I wasn't in the mood. And I like it just as much as when I come."

God, he was perfect, which was terrifying because Dallas wasn't used to getting anything he wanted. His life was still a hot mess. Leaning in, he took Kylen by the chin and kissed him long, slow, and thorough. When he pulled back, a wave of exhaustion hit him, and he collapsed down.

"I should clean you up," he murmured, but he was already drifting.

He felt a kiss against his temple and warm arms easing him back toward the bulkier side of the pillows. "I'll take care of it. You sleep."

Dallas wanted to argue, but it was like someone had pulled a plug on him and every ounce of energy had drained away. There was no other option but to accept this moment of rest. He had so much more to deal with tomorrow, but tonight, just maybe, he could have this little bit of peace.

Dallas woke to a quiet house, which had him leaping from the bed and scrambling to change clothes because the one thing he remembered was wiping Kylen's come on his sweats. He had one leg in and one leg out of his trousers when he remembered he hadn't gone to sleep alone, and then a new rush of panic hit him: Kylen wasn't there either.

Audra should have been screaming by now. She slept through the night, but she was always an early riser, and she made her presence known. How had Dallas slept through any of it? And if he had, was that why Kylen had run?

He managed to get a shirt on and then stumbled into the living room, but it was empty. His heart was beating a mile a minute, but then he heard voices coming from the dining room. He took a beat to regain his composure, then walked into the kitchen and found Gage sitting at the table with Audra on his knee, feeding her from one of the little food prep boxes Dallas had snagged on his way out of his house.

Adele was at the stove cooking something that smelled sweet.

And Kylen was still missing.

Shit .

"Morning, sunshine." Adele winked at him over his shoulder. "There's coffee and tea. French toast is almost up."

Dallas cleared his throat, then walked over to the table and dropped a kiss on Audra's forehead. She proceeded to ignore him in favor of her little oatmeal biscuit, which was mostly all over her face and Gage's shirt. "Want me to take over?" he asked, gesturing at the mess.

"It doesn't bother me," Gage told him, then bounced Audra a little until she giggled. "She's a pretty cool baby."

"She is a cool baby," Dallas agreed. "I've heard the cool babies turn into nightmare toddlers though."

"Sage wisdom," Adele said since he'd been the one to give it.

Gage glowered at his dad. "You're never going to let me live that one down. I had, like, six bad months."

"Try two years," Adele said. "From four to six, you were an actual monster."

"I got over it," Gage said.

"Most days," Adele offered. "Anyway, you have to be at the school, so maybe you should pass the baby along."

"Oh my God, I'm late?" Dallas felt a wave of panic, and he scanned the room for a clock. The oven said it was just going on eight. Dear God, he was going to lose his job, and?—

"It's the weekend, babe," Adele reminded him. "Gage has rehearsals."

Right. It was the weekend. His time with Audra. He was okay. Well, he wasn't okay. He was a mess, but his entire life wasn't ruined yet. Reaching down, he plucked his daughter from Gage's arms and hitched her onto his shoulder. She immediately mashed what was left of her biscuit against the side of his neck .

"I guess I'm glad Kylen's not here to see me like this," Dallas muttered as he moved into the living room for her clip-on high chair.

"He's got a kid. He gets it," Adele called after him. "Besides," he added when Dallas headed back to the table, "he'd probably rather be here than at work."

Work. Right. Because people had lives outside of his own drama. Kylen hadn't run. He just had normal adult responsibilities.

Dallas secured the chair, then set Audra down before leaning against the table and covering his face with his hands. She laughed and kicked at him, her little fingers twisting into his hair and pulling. Dallas didn't look up until he heard the soft thud of a coffee mug at his elbow, far enough away baby hands couldn't reach.

"Did Monty call yet?"

"I don't actually know," Dallas admitted. "I obviously slept through Audra's morning screaming session."

Adele smiled down at the baby and shook his head as he ruffled her peach fuzz. "You didn't have a screaming session, did you?" She gummy-grinned at him with her four tiny teeth and babbled. Adele looked like he was melting. "She was a perfect little princess."

She was a perfect little princess. Christ, how was he going to hand her off, knowing that he might not see her for months?

"Talk to me," Adele said. He set the plate of french toast in the center of the table, then took a seat beside Dallas. "You look like you're fighting off the urge to fling yourself into the Atlantic."

Dallas grimaced. "I kind of am. I mean, not literally. But whatever Monty says, I think I have to give Audra back. I can't afford childcare on top of what I'm paying in child support, and I can't lose my job. And it's not like I have a family to watch her. Besides…" He hesitated, then licked his lips. "I don't think I could do that to Katie."

"Keep the baby away?"

Dallas nodded. "Even knowing she'll probably do the same thing to me, I can't do that to her. I can't hurt someone like that."

"She might have seen reason after talking to her lawyer," Adele said.

Dallas wanted to believe that, but he'd never seen Katie like that before. He hadn't ever seen her that afraid either though. This was totally uncharted territory. "I should probably go check my phone."

Adele nodded and shooed him out of the seat before taking it so he could be within arm's reach of Audra. "Go. Princess Peach and I are good here for a while."

Dallas let out a soft laugh and ran his finger over her round, peachy cheeks. It fit. "Thanks for this."

"Don't start. Just go."

Dallas saluted him, then marched out of the room and eventually found his phone tangled up in Kylen's discarded shirt. Dallas felt that like a punch to his sternum. Kylen had left some of his stuff. He wondered if he'd tried to wake Dallas before he left. There was no note lying around, so maybe he actually had.

Maybe they had a whole conversation that his stress brain completely deleted.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he turned on the screen and groaned when he saw four missed calls and a dozen messages. One call was from Monty, one was from Katie, the other two a number he didn't recognize. Nine of the texts were Katie's, and they ended before midnight, two were from Monty, and one was from the only person he wanted to talk to in that moment.

Kylen: I'm just about to take off and I'll be out of range for a few hours, but text me when you're up. Dani's leaving tonight but if you want a sleepover where your ex can't find you, my place is open and we can trade nighttime baby duties.

Dallas didn't know what to say. His fingers stalled out on the reply. He called Monty instead, listening to it ring and feeling a sense of panic when it went to voicemail. He was just clearing his voice and trying to figure out what to say when his line beeped, and his shoulders sagged with relief when he saw his lawyer's name on the screen.

"Sorry. I was just showing a client out. Did you get some sleep last night?"

Dallas flushed, even though there was no way Monty knew what he'd gotten up to. "I got some. I'm still at Adele's, and Katie hasn't tried to contact me since last night."

"I've spoken with her lawyer this morning and informed him that we're going to seek an emergency temporary custody amendment."

Had they talked about this? "Um…"

"Nothing scary," Monty promised. "I'm drafting it up now, and we'll be able to see the judge first thing tomorrow morning. It's going to state that all handoffs need to be supervised, and you're going to split the week fifty-fifty."

Fifty-fifty. How the hell was he going to be able to do that? He could take Monday off, but if he pushed it, he'd get fired. The AP already hated his guts, it seemed. All he needed was a little push to sack Dallas and ruin his reputation for other schools .

"Is that going to be doable?" Monty asked.

"I don't know. Let me talk to a few people and make sure I have childcare. I don't exactly have the budget for a nanny."

"Let me know. We can amend it if we need to, but the more time you can take with her, the better your chances will be at getting this permanently."

Dallas rubbed at his eyes. "What do I do in the meantime? Katie's supposed to pick her up this afternoon."

"The handoff will only happen after we see the judge tomorrow," Monty said. "The custody order will include her not being allowed to take the baby out of state. But it'll apply to you too."

Dallas laughed bitterly. "That's fine. I have nowhere to go." And he didn't. Not really. He could take Audra to see his brother, but…

Oh. His brother.

Bronx was a veterinarian who was busy, but he was also thinking about closing down his practice to move. He wondered if he could convince his brother to up his timeline and maybe help with Audra until Dallas could figure something more permanent. His only other option would be Bowen, but he'd started working more now that Briar was in preschool. And he knew he couldn't afford Bowen's prices.

"Dallas?"

"Give me half an hour?"

"You got it. Talk soon."

Dallas got up and headed for the kitchen but paused when he found Adele and Audra on the sofa. She was half-asleep on his chest, and he was watching hockey highlights with the sound off. Adele put his finger to his lips.

"Are her eyes closed?" he whispered .

Dallas peered over at her. "Nearly. I need to go FaceTime my brother. Monty has updates for me, but I need to figure out childcare."

Adele nodded. "You know between all of us, we can work something out."

Dallas did know that, but he wanted a bit more stability than having his daughter bounced around from house to house. He'd take it if that was all he got, but he wasn't sure that would look good in court either.

"I'll be right back," he said without committing, and he slipped through the kitchen and onto Adele's deck. It was open with an umbrella that was down. There was still a little morning dew on the chairs, so he settled on the top step and hit his brother's contact.

It didn't take long for Bronx to answer, and Dallas felt a small punch of relief at the sight of his brother's face.

"You look like shit."

"Dad!" he heard Lucas call in the background, and he grinned at his nephew's defense of him.

"He probably sounds like shit too," Bronx said. "Go on, say something."

"I do look and sound like shit," Dallas confirmed. "I'm covered in it."

"Gross!" Lucas cried.

"Metaphorically. I filed for a custody amendment, and Katie freaked out," Dallas told them. "She showed up at my house and threatened me. I had to call my lawyer, and I'm hiding out at my friend's place right now. I have an emergency custody hearing in the morning."

Bronx's face fell. "Aw, hell. What can I do?"

"My ask is huge, so please know that I'll never blame you if you can't. But…" Dallas hesitated.

"He wants us to move early," Lucas said. Dallas saw Bronx lean to the side, and his elbow darted off-screen. "Ouch! What? That's what it is, right?"

Dallas sighed. "I can make do for now, but I could use some help. I can't afford childcare right away on my shitty salary, but I'm scared if I don't do this, Katie is going to keep her from me more and more."

Bronx's face darkened. "I don't want that."

"I could go early. I could totally watch her. So to speak," Lucas said. His head appeared in the screen. "Really. I know you said summer, but I'm totally ready to switch schools. Maybe I can do the rest of the year in home school and then go for my junior year. Pop. Please. He needs us. Look at him. He's falling apart without us."

"Slow your roll, kid," Bronx said, shoving Lucas back out of frame. He looked at Dallas for a long beat. "I can do that."

Dallas's heart kicked up a notch. "Really?"

"I already brought on two new vets to the office," Bronx told him. "They're more than ready to take over. I can let the house sit on the market for however long if Luke and I can stay with you."

"As long as you don't mind a baby around half the week. And, uh…and if you can help out with her."

"We can help! Holy shit!" Lucas cried.

"Language," Bronx said. He was smiling though. "Can you give us a few weeks?"

"Bro," Lucas said, "I can get packed by tomorrow. We have a new box of Glad trash bags. The stretchy kind."

"Well, my life isn't so easily tucked away in a bunch of garbage bags from under the sink," Bronx fought back. "And I'm not your bro . Luke…"

"Don't say it," Lucas groaned. "That's not even how the line goes?— "

" Haw. Haw . I am your faaather ."

Dallas was smiling now, so widely his cheeks hurt. Maybe it really was going to be okay. He had his brother and his nephew coming, and he had Kylen, which—oh. Fuck.

Oh, fuck .

Because Bronx didn't know. Dallas had always assumed he was straight. Always. It had never been a question until now.

"Hey," Bronx said. "You okay?"

Dallas swallowed thickly. Just say it , he told himself. He won't care . How could he? He'd been out since he was nine. But the words died on the edge of his tongue. "I'm fine. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Love you! Can't wait to see you!" Lucas called.

"Love you too," Dallas said. The call ended, and the screen went black. He sat there staring at it, feeling like he'd just betrayed Kylen and himself in the worst way.