Epilogue

10 years later

"I don't care, but you need to go ask your uncle JT," Raeann said, as her seven-year-old son and Ryker's nephew, Nico, asked if he could go out back to the barn and pet the goats.

"I can take you, baby," Audrey said, overhearing their conversation and extending her free hand toward Nico as she emerged from the house holding a huge bowl of bananas and blueberries. "I'm heading back there now to give them some of these treats. Did you wanna help me feed them?"

He shook his head excitedly, and the two began the walk back to the barn.

"I still can't believe Ryk lives here with those smelly ass chickens," Ryker and Raeann's father, Ted, said as he grabbed a beer from a nearby cooler. He took a seat next to his daughter at one of the tables that had been set up on the gorgeous, EP Henry paver poolside patio and under the party tent they'd rented for the occasion.

"Excuse me. That's no way to talk about my husband and his wife," Ryker teased, sitting in an empty chair next to his father and nudging him. "For the record, I don't go anywhere near those devil birds. Because fuck all that. That is 100 percent Audrey. And believe me, I am not happy about it."

"It's still hilarious to me that you ended up with two people who have birds tattooed on them, considering your irrational and somewhat concerning phobia," Raeann said, tossing a Dorito at his face.

"Ugh. Don't remind me," the research physicist and associate professor of physics at the University of Tampa muttered, snagging a handful of chips from the bowl in the middle of the table. "The things we sacrifice for love, right?"

There was a lot to acknowledge that day at the five-acre McCreery-DiMara-Winston farmhouse in Lithia, a suburb of Tampa, and they'd thrown a huge party in order to make sure they'd celebrated all of it.

First, it was Hayes and Ryan's 30th wedding anniversary, which in and of itself was a miracle. No one would have thought that those two numb skull hockey boys, who'd married way too young after battling through jealousy, addiction, and cheating, would make it to 30 years.

But, they had, and they'd continued to fight like hell for each other every single step of the way.

Not only that, but after having talked about it for years, they'd just finalized the paperwork to go through with the sale of Ryler Arena. After over 17 years of running the business themselves, having never been able to find any partners with whom they were comfortable sharing it, Hayes and Ryan had decided it was time to call it quits when a golden opportunity had presented itself: Matt and Tyson put in an offer.

The guys, who'd just gotten married, thought it would be an excellent endeavor for them, and, seeing as both Ryan and Hayes already knew and trusted them from their work as coaches within the facility for several years, agreed to go through with it.

"Are you guys sure this is what you want?" JT had asked them recently, when they'd broken the news to him. "That arena is like your baby."

"Fuckin' right it is," Hayes had responded without so much as a second thought. "But it's time we let our baby grow up, eh? I mean, don't get me wrong. We're still gonna be involved, but we need to take a step back. The amount of shit we've been through in our lives, especially over the past 30 years? It's time we started livin' for ourselves. There's so much we wanna do and see, and it's time we start doin' it while we still can."

Second, Audrey had just signed a massive freelance contract that week for her work as a nutrition writer for a website that specialized in helping those with eating disorders. After her own struggle with atypical anorexia nervosa, she went back to school to get her bachelor's degree in health and nutrition. Her first piece for the website would focus on the correlation between maladaptive perfectionism caused by low self-esteem and eating disorders, something about which she was positive she could write with the utmost confidence.

She'd also published a three-book series of smutty hockey romance novels under a pen name which had actually done OK. The story centered around an older female, two younger hockey players, and their struggles as they tried to navigate a polyamorous relationship for the first time.

"Wow, I feel like I've…I don't know, like, read this story before," JT had said, as she pitched the idea to him and Ryker when she'd first started writing the books.

"Yeah, it sounds vaguely familiar," Ryker had added. "Probably just a coincidence, though."

More times than the guys could count, they'd be minding their own business watching a movie or getting caught up on some work, when she'd bust in out of nowhere and make them test out sexual positions for believability, about which they'd always grumble.

"Again? Come on, Aud. Just Google porn like a normal human being."

"No. I have to make sure it works. So, here, Ryk, if his ass is there, and my one hand is here, what happens if you flip this way…"

They had to give it to her: her dedication to authenticity was to be commended.

Third, Dr. Jacob Tyler DiMara was celebrating the six-month anniversary of having opened his own private practice as a licensed professional counselor specializing in the areas of anger management, grief counseling, learning disabilities, and polyamory coaching.

The road to getting his doctorate in psychology had been a long one, with him threatening to quit at least once a week. But, with Audrey and Ryker by his side, that was never an option.

He and Ryker had married during their senior year at Penn State, with Audrey acting as the best woman for both of them. They'd both stopped playing hockey following their junior year, as the academic demands of their majors just didn't allow for it. However, that didn't stop the Penn State D1 men's hockey team, including some of the upperclassmen who'd already graduated, from throwing them the absolute dopest on-ice wedding celebration Pegula had ever seen.

About a year after Ryker and JT had married, JT and Audrey had taken part in a commitment ceremony, with Ryker acting as the best man for JT and the man of honor for Audrey. Since they weren't able to legally marry, this was the next best thing.

"I don't give a fuck about a piece of paper, Audrey," JT had told her when they'd begun discussing it, with Audrey worried that since it wasn't legally binding, it wasn't real. "There is a part of my soul that, no matter what happens with anyone else, belongs completely to you. Not to Ryker. To you. And I'm gonna refer to you as my wife, because piece of paper or not, that's what you are."

Shortly after both boys had graduated, the three bought the Lithia farmhouse using some of JT's inheritance. They'd moved to Florida not only to be closer to Hayes and Ryan, but also since both boys were continuing their education at the University of Tampa, where Ryker eventually ended up getting hired. While the guys worked on their degrees, Audrey filled several of the five acres with a variety of animals, including goats, alpacas, honeybees, and much to Ryker's dismay, chickens. Even bringing them home from Tractor Supply as teeny, fuzzy chicks had done nothing to ease his panic.

"Nope. Fuck that. Aud, get them away! Get them away, Aud!" he'd screamed, running dramatically and flailing through the kitchen as Audrey tried to stick the little peeping baby birds in his face, JT having practically pissed himself at the sight of it.

"There's my husband!" JT called, sliding into a seat next to Ryker at the table he was sharing with his father and sister. "I missed you," he said, throwing his arms around him and planting a kiss on the side of Ryker's neck.

"It's been, like, a half hour," Ryker said, closing his eyes and enjoying his husband's touch.

"That's a half hour too long."

"I don't know if I ever told you guys this, but it's actually sickening how fucking adorable the two of you are," Raeann gushed, watching them together.

"About a thousand times, Rae," Ryker said with a wink. "But I like hearing it."

"I'm gonna grab another beer," Ted said, getting up. "Does my son-in-law need anything while I'm up?"

"Nah, I'm good, Dad. Thanks."

"And I'm good, too, Dad!" Ryker called after him, throwing his hands up, then shaking his head.

Ted turned around. "Nope. I'm just way too disappointed in my gay son to get him anything."

Ryker rubbed his forehead. "Oh, my God. I'm never gonna live that down, am I?"

"Guess we see who the favorite is," JT teased, looking away, then smiling at Raeann. "Anyway, should I, like, give a toast or something, or just let people do their thing?"

"I would just let them do their thing," Ryker said. "Besides, no one wants to listen to you talk anyway, Banner."

"Well, I've got 86 patients who would beg to disagree, Nerd."

Suddenly, two new voices came into the picture.

"All I said was maybe you should sit down for a few minutes, give it a rest."

"Maybe you should sit the fuck down, Rook, and stop worryin' about what the fuck I'm doin', eh?"

Everyone turned their heads when they heard Hayes and Ryan bickering as they approached the table, Hayes limping slightly as Ryan pulled out the chair next to JT for him. "Here. Sit."

Hayes, rolling his eyes at his husband, winced as he took a seat next to his son. "I'm gonna knock his ass out, JT."

"Yeah? In other news, water's wet," JT quipped, winking at Ryan, who stuck his tongue out at his husband behind his back.

"You know, I love you, but you're getting exponentially crankier as you get older," Ryan told Hayes, squeezing both his shoulders. "Anyway, I'm getting a drink. You want anything?"

"Yeah, double bourbon on the rocks."

"Ha ha. Very funny."

Hayes and JT watched as Ryan walked away, then JT turned toward his father. "And why are we limping?"

"Ah, it's nothin'. Just my fuckin' knee. Tweaked it skatin' a few months back and it's just takin' a bit to heal."

"Do you think maybe you should go have it checked out? I mean, all the shoulder surgeries you've had, I'd think you've gotta be due for a free one on your punch card at this point."

"That'd probably be the smart thing to do. But we all know I ain't smart, so there's that. What's goin' on, Ryker?" Hayes changed the subject. "You discover any new planets or some shit yet?"

"Not yet. But," he said, his eyes lighting up, "I did just finish up a killer experiment. The university received a grant for this really high-tech electron microscope, and basically we were tasked with looking to see if…"

JT dropped his head into his hands, then looked over at Hayes. "You really had to get him started, didn't you?"

Even though JT and Hayes were having a side conversation, Ryker kept talking, turning toward Raeann.

"Look at him. He just keeps goin'," Hayes marveled. "He's very passionate about his job, eh?"

"That he is."

A few minutes later, Audrey and Nico approached the table, with Nico running up to his mother and Audrey setting the empty bowl down.

"Mommy, the goats are so cute!" Nico shrieked. "Can we get one? Please? Please can we get one?"

"Yeah, no. We don't really have the space for that. Hey, let's go get you changed and we can swim for a bit, OK?" Presumably bored to death by her brother's scientific ramblings, Raeann took her kid and made a quick exit, leaving Audrey, Ryker, JT, Ted, Hayes, and Ryan, who'd returned with drinks and a plate of food for his husband.

"Here. I didn't know what you'd want, so I got you a little bit of everything," Ryan said, placing the plate in front of his husband.

"You really are good to me, Rook."

"I have no choice. I've invested way too much time into this thing, honestly." He nudged his husband, then turned toward Audrey. "So, the goats still being dramatic?"

"Yep. You should see them when it rains. Full on screaming temper tantrums and right into the shelter. They really don't like getting wet."

"How many are you up to now?"

"Still just the two ladies. They're both really sweet, though Amara is much mouthier than Pam. She literally will not let you have the last word. Sometimes I just have to give up and walk away."

Hayes, Ryan, and JT all smiled at the same time.

"That…makes so much sense," Ryan said, as Hayes leaned in and examined his eyes. "What? I'm not crying, I swear."

"Yeah, OK. Thirty some years and all it's ever taken is one mention of that woman's name for instant tears."

"I've gotten better," Ryan argued.

"No, you haven't."

"Um. yes I have…"

The two continued bickering back and forth as Hayes alternated between taking bites of his food and feeding them to his husband.

"Oh, wow. That's really good," Ryan said with his mouth full and pointing to a section of the plate.

"Fuckin' right it is. Here, try this one…"

???

A few hours later, when the party had ended and everyone had left, Audrey, Ryker, and JT sat cuddled together on their oversized outdoor daybed next to the pool, having decided to leave the rest of the cleanup efforts for tomorrow since it was getting late. JT lay in the middle, with Audrey and Ryker snuggled up next to him on either side, as they watched the sun sink down below the trees in the distance.

"Ryk, don't forget to call and make an appointment this week. The TLX is overdue for an oil change," Audrey reminded him.

"Already got it in my calendar," he told her, nuzzling further into his husband's neck. "Oh, and if you're going shopping tomorrow, make sure you pick up a bottle of red wine. Something dry, preferably, maybe a Cabernet. I'm gonna make those braised short ribs that you like."

"Ooh, nice. Can you do the garlic mashed potatoes, too? Those were bangin'."

"Anything for my favorite girl," Ryker said.

JT smiled, taking in every single second of this moment, this seemingly mundane moment, as he listened to his two favorite people in the entire world make plans for oil changes and grocery shopping as they viewed the sunset from the poolside patio of their five-acre farmhouse.

As it often did in moments like this, JT's trauma crept to the surface and began telling its ugly lies.

You don't deserve this. Or them.

This will all be taken from you, too, someday.

Don't get too comfortable.

They just haven't figured out that you aren't worth it yet.

JT knew that, as a trauma survivor, he'd never be free from the pain, that it'd always be there, lying dormant under the surface and waiting for any chance to rear its ugly head and attempt to take him down.

Fortunately, he also knew that he was in control of his response to it, as well as how much power he allowed it to have.

His breathing beginning to quicken, he reached over to Ryker, grabbed his left arm and pulled it across his body so it rested in his lap, then reached over to Audrey, whose arm was tucked under her head. "Arm."

She shifted, knowing exactly what he needed and laying her left arm across JT's lap as well. He placed his in the middle of both of theirs.

Without being told, the two of them flipped their arms wrist side up so he could admire the three tattoos together, which was one of the distraction coping mechanisms that proved effective for him every time.

Just the sight of all three of them together was enough to quiet the self-doubt.

4-7-8

In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

And he knew he was going to be OK.

???